After making a post a little while ago about what to get at McDonalds, someone brought up Donald J Trumps standard McDonald's order
I thought to myself Trump doesn't look too bad for 78 (plus I was really fricking hungry, hadn't eaten since lunch the previous day) maybe I should give it a go?
The order is the following:
-2 filet of fish
-2 Big Macs
-1 large chocolate shake
I've never actually had any of these before so was excited to give it a go
This shit cost $34 kangaroo dollars and is 2225 calories total
EDIT: apparently it's actually 2758 calories, whatever it said on the machine was just straight up wrong
The Shake:
It's a shake, not too much to write about here. It tastes good cause it's all sugary crap. I decided to drink the shake in between sandwiches
Big Mac 1:
This shit was actually pretty good. Idk why they decided to put a piece of bread in between a burger but it tasted alright and the sauce was good
Filet o Fish 1:
I really didn't like this one, just tasted like gross nasty cheap fish on a shitty bun with shitty cheese, I guess the sauce was okay
This was when I realized I might have messed up, I already felt sick and light headed and I still had two more sandwiches to go
Filet o Fish 2:
Maybe the first one was just off, or maybe these things are addictive? This one just tasted better for some reason not sure why?
At this point I felt really fricking ill. But I'd come too far to back down now
Big Mac 2:
I'm sure this one was good, but by now I felt so gross I just wanted to get it down as fast as possible.
I tried to wash everything down with the rest of my shake. This was when I realized how sick I felt, thought I was going to pass out in the middle of a crowded McDonald's which would have been embarrassing. I was scared to stand up because I felt like I might collapse if I did. Even though I felt like death I wanted to truly complete this challenge so I made sure to suck every fricking drop (no homo) out of that chocolate shake
Conclusion:
I managed to complete this entire meal in about 35 minutes total. The most difficult part was finishing the shake at the end, which took me about 10 minutes
Holy shit I feel awful. Not to mention I'm sensitive to gluten and usually try and avoid it so I'm probably going to feel even worse tomorrow in my stomach. Donald J Trump is truly built different and I respect anyone who could eat this much goyslop in one sitting and genuinely enjoy it
I also feel like it's worth mentioning that McDonald's in Australia might be slightly less unhealthy than in the US. So while I did the best I could I might have not gotten the 100% full Trump McDonald's experience
Thanks for reading neighbors, remember to stay skinny and eat healthy, especially you ladies. btw I usually eat healthy so if you are a skinny lady reading this HMU
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So, McDonald's often does these "celebrity meals" thing, right? Maybe they can do the Trump Meal
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Trump meal feeds a frickin family of four. There's no way this orange neighbor can eat like this all the time.
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That lady's incredible.
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I assumed he eats it throughout the day but I might be underestimating the king
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I think he might actually be the Messiah. Maybe not the one people were looking for, but definitely the one we've earned
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Maybe a malnourished starving 3rd world family of four, or a small snack for a big-boned strong American patriot
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And live this long? 100% impossible
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He doesn't drink or smoke, but he is a fat frick and he's pushing 80. Like he's obviously going to be dead in a decade unless he's truly anointed by god, but can he hack it four more years in the big chair without his heart giving up?
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Daddy biting it just a few months into his term would be the drama miracle we probably dont deserve but should be blessed with anyways

Just imagine the leftoid gloating (and haes-fatties writing blogposts about actually this is just evidence of the harm fatphobia does) and the rightoid sperging! We might finally get to see some rightoid political terrorism again
I dont think ive ever wished for a heart attack so much...
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they would
immediately start writing
articles about how JD Vance is literally
hitler
and they miss the days of moderate
republicans like trump.
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Also true
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For sure, I knew a guy who was almost the picture of health above 80, died at 89 from a stroke. Trump has closer to 5 than 10 left.
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