So I actually saw a new movie this week, and it was none other than mech kino. I'm not sure how to talk about this move without sounding like an r-slur but I think it was actually pretty good

First of all, even though the movie is 3D animated and not a Michael Bay blockbuster, it's still visually appealing. It's one of those few movies coming out these days that doesn't feel like it was made that way because the animation was cheaper. The 3D animation here is solid, on par with How To Train Your Dragon or the greatest Pixar hits in regards to how they compared to their contemporaries. Tron lines really glow. Metallic surfaces look reflective and lustrous. Scenes of the environment have an actual sense of scale and perspective. There's plenty of action too and the movie gets away with a lot on the grounds that the characters are robots and it's okay for them to lose limbs and explode.

It's not as "kiddy" as I was afraid of and the story takes itself seriously. Could be pretty funny too. At the risk of darnation by faint praise, it's the best written of the Transformers films and actually focuses on the characters. Plus there's not a single squishy human in sight.

In the manner of its production history, it reminds me of Shrek. Apparently Shrek was in production heck for many years and being sent to work on it was a corporate punishment. But eventually the movie was staffed with enough people who cared to come out not only great, but intentionally different from other animated movies of the time.

TF One was also in production for a long time and it's kind of niche so I'm surprised it got made. It was a good fan movie though, made by people who really cared about their product. People who weren't just using an IP to shove in their own half-baked screenplay and social commentary

Anyway, good movie Good robot action

What have you all been watching this week !kino?

Give me more attention loser!

They're up to episode 1.03: Back and Back and Back to the Future.

!kino

‘Voltron: Legendary Defender’ will leave Netflix on December 7th. pic.twitter.com/ou0PxiCGK8

— ToonHive (@ToonHive) September 20, 2024

If you don't know, keep scrolling

If you know,

One of Hasan's commie whores accused him

https://www.nzherald.co.nz/entertainment/jason-momoa-accused-of-mistreating-crew-on-set-of-nz-filmed-a-minecraft-movie/4YT7PTTSKBBW5CFAQ6ZTGP6GTA/

"I just saw him mistreat some of the crew, and it was pretty disappointing," Valkyrae claimed. "It was after a very intense scene," she added. "It was a very emotional scene, so maybe he was still in character, I don't know. I was just surprised about how he treated some of the crew."

The 32-year-old, who has a cameo role in the upcoming film, alleged Momoa had been "really mad" at the crew members because they "weren't doing something right".

"It was like setting up the shot and stuff. He was just angry, like really mad, and yelling," she claimed. "I was like, man, this is not a good work environment, I would not be happy working under these conditions.

"So I would probably have to say that was the worst celebrity thing I've seen."

!bookworms !kino a scene from the proto-hobbits in the Rings of Power. Also, why are the prosthetics and costumes so awful?

Gotta put ma in a home. I'm on episode 3 but like jeez this is so depressing :(

He had already written some stuff for Playhouse 90. He had done Patterns, which is a classic. Doesn't sound like it would be interesting but it's really good. (Also Requiem for a Heavyweight but I never watched it because I don't give a shit about boxing.)

I agree with him about just about everything.

!jidf Is it okay for me to post this?

‘THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST 2’ will begin filming in early 2025.

Jim Caviezel will return as Jesus.

(via: https://t.co/D08OYLmKnx) pic.twitter.com/Nrg7DhAHeN

— DiscussingFilm (@DiscussingFilm) September 18, 2024

!nooticers

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/am_i_racist

Going off the deep end

I didn't go into Night Swim expecting much. Firstly, it's from Blumhouse, which produces far more shit than quality. Secondly, it's PG-13 horror, which also produces far more shit than quality.

The film is about a killer swimming pool. That's it.* Such a concept might work for a tongue-in-cheek movie or horror-comedy, but it took itself 100% seriously, expecting you to find a killer swimming pool scary.

*Ok, so they throw in some nonsense about the pool being fed by haunted groundwater blah blah blah.

Suspense drained away

The film had no tension to speak of, partially because the characters were so forgettable. They weren't awful or unlikable. I just didn't care what happened to them. It also meant that the father's sacrifice at the end was underwhelming.

Also, the killer pool did not follow any rules, and rules are important in horror. Why? Because they tell you what the antagonist can and cannot do, and therefore when and how potential victims are in danger, thus increasing tension. Instead, the pool just behaved however was convenient for the next cheap jumpscare.

And cheap jumpscares was all this movie had. Not scary at all, complete with that stupid, loud, and unnecesary music cue.

Writing as weak as water

As you can see, the script was the worst part, treating the viewer as an imbecile who needed everything spoon-fed to them. I'll give you one particularly egregious example:

At one point, the father became posessed by the pool. Was this revealed through hints, or a slow progression into madness? Maybe a sudden reveal at the end? Of course not. A cloud of cgi black gunk rose up from the pool drain and snaked into his mouth.

Alfred Hitchpeepee, eat your heart out.

Also, the pool literally growled at one point.

That sinking feeling

For all these reasons, Night Swim was terrible. I don't recommend it. It isn't even so-bad-it's good, because it's so sombre and serious.

To finish off, some final points:

• The movie was shot in this washed-out color grade, leaving everything bland and visually boring.

• The performances weren't bad. They also weren't great.

• The music was as dull and forgettable as the cinematography.

• I want to frick Wyatt Russell so badly.

Baz Luhrmann is set to direct a Joan of Arc movie for Warner Bros titled ‘JEHANNE D’ARC’

Described as “the ultimate teenage girl coming of age story, set in the Hundred Years’ War”

(Source: Deadline) pic.twitter.com/cKsCQqC5rH

— DiscussingFilm (@DiscussingFilm) September 17, 2024