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JoyceCarolOates
joyce/carol
MY KITTY IS POINTED AT THE WORLD
3mo ago
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#293735
A Harry Potter fanfic I've been reading for 2 years recently posted its final chapter in which Voldemort dies by getting shot by American wizards
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You can get off three shots with a pump action before you can say avada kedavra
Wizards don't want you to know this
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I might miss 80 shots but my switch will pump a hundred per second
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Couldn't torture this out of me
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How much it made me laugh was slightly greater than the shame caused by typing that
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Well? Give us the fic name if you're not ashamed.
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No I AM ashamed (and I don't want them to get comments on their fic from dramatards)
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So... how smutty is it then?
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It was rated T
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The T stands for trans
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That might honestly be even more embarrassing
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Half of them will probably read it unironically tbh
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do you read icky fanfic or something
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!commenters it's this https://archiveofourown.org/works/37545064/chapters/148459618
!horsefrickers !bookworms because being ashamed
over your reading 
choices is dumb, here's one of my favorite 
MLP 
fanfics: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/368986/message-in-a-bottle
probably the coolest/most unique scifi
setting out of all the books 
and fanfics I've ever read 
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At the very least it's f/m
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Rude. If I find any comments from people from here, Im going to get upset
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The website's banner is my aesthetic. Mix some eeveelutions in with those ponies.
Also,
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KINO
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Holy FRICKING based
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The only fanfic I've read are the apocryphal works and they're quite blasphemous but also hilarious. I particularly recommend the Infancy Gospel of Thomas (which
stole from when writing the Quran). Highlights include:
a child splashes a pool of water Child Jesus is playing in so Jesus drains all the fluid from the kids body
later another
accidentally bumps into Child Jesus so he kills him on the spot 
second
's parents complain to the Blessed Virgin so Jesus blinds them for their insolence 
(he later reverses all these, just some harmless childhood japes 
)
See also the Acts of Peter in which Simon Magus gets into a wizard battle
with St. Peter and flies around in the sky before having his butt SMOTE through the power of prayer. 
This cripples Simon and then Peter takes him to a doctor who cuts his witch butt in half. 
!Christians !Catholics !bookworms
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Do you know where Gnostics and apparently some Muslims got the idea that Jesus actually avoided the crucifixion by doing a magic switcheroo and swapped bodies with some random guy in the crowd?
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Sure king. The oldest dated version of this story can be found in the early 3rd century Second Treatise of the Great Seth located in the Nag Hammadi library. It might predate this version, the exact origins are unclear as St. Augustine's works are the most complete accountings of the Manichaeans and similarly we know most of our info about the Gnostics from polemics written by the Church Fathers. !Catholics !Christians
I like reading about this stuff.
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do you think the early church was right to destroy heresies like gnosticism?
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Yes. To hold otherwise, the entire Christian tradition falls apart, as it was through this process that Christology was formed. I really dunno how you can believe in any of this and simultaneously hold that we should have allowed 2nd/3rd century fanfic writers to run around spreading ridiculous falsities and forming death cults (gnostics thought having children was evil and that death was good, etc). It also later gave rise to Islam as stated...
I think it's worth differentiating between the moral culpability of laity vs leadership, contemporaneous vs modern. I was talking to
@seal_cel about this with regard to Rabbinic Judaism but same principle applies.
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HeckHeck yesJump in the discussion.
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!nooticers, this makes so much sense.
Jesus could rise again because he never died. Mary was crying at the base of the body double. Romans wouldn't really notice nor give a shit if it was some other Semite. It all makes sense....
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gnostics would fricking say that
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It can be in your heart I don't think it contradicts anything dogmatic.
I think the story goes differently in other Apocrypha but in that one it's a doctor who 
Simon.
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"palestinian lives matter" is a racist phrase. only Black trans lives matter!
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It's finally over Wizard President, we got em'
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avarda was code for AK-47
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I always wondered how powerful guns were in the harry potter universe
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Jk actually explained that because there's so many ways to anticipate and defeat guns that magic is essentially undefeatable. You can literally sense an army coming and cast a disassemble spell on them. All their guns and tanks would fall apart.
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The best fanfic ending would be for
to reveal it was her all along.
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Elaborate
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That's literally it, a person's been writing a pretty decent fanfic for 2 years then decided to have Voldemort killed by a gun in the last chapter. It's not even a big scene, it's just mentioned in the newspaper the characters are reading. Anywhere else I would say it's a joke but it's supposed to be taken seriously. I took me reading the paragraph 3 times before I could accept what it was really saying.
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What a cop out lmao
!writecel
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idc it made me happier than any other ending they could have wrote. It's like a joke with a 2 year set up. Most people who try to be intentionally funny don't succeed as well as they did
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Did they yell out "frick yeah" when they did it
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she finished a fanfiction
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How popular is it? What was the response?
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It was so-so popular compared to similar fics. There are no comments on the last chapter yet
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Now I want to watch this again
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heck yeah u rock!!! (frick preps)
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uh...
Wands will never be as fast as guns
palestinian lives matter
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You should keep yourself safe 👍
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Fanfic? Hermoinie?
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Snapshots:
ghostarchive.org
archive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
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