@jesus's comment on 'My (M21) Gf (F23) keeps getting r*ped at parties. I don't know what to do... : relationship_advice'

https://old.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zqzvy4/my_m21_gf_f23_keeps_getting_raped_at_parties_i

Throwaway, because I am ashamed to even ask for help.

My (M21) Gf (F23) has gotten r*ped 3 times over the course of her life. 2 before she met me and one during. We have been dating for about a year. All of them have been at parties and have been caused by a stranger taking advantage of her.

Obviously she is a victim and doesn’t deserve anything that has happened to her, but she will not stop going to parties and getting drunk and high to the point where she isn’t fully aware of her surroundings. She says if she stops going then the male feminists win, because she’s loves to have fun with her friends and listen to music. I usually do not go to these parties as I despise party culture and have a tight circle of friends who I will only celebrate their birthdays with. I have gone to some of these parties that she goes to and she is very popular and friendly.

I worry that she is being taken advantage of to the point where she doesn’t consider that a huge trust factor is being broken with me. I really do not like her going to these parties and have been going with her ever since the last one happened. I feel that I ruin the mood she has, by being worried and feel that she doesn’t want me there. She tells me she loves me and appreciates me going because she knows I hate it. So I'm not worried about her lying or anything of the sort just confused.

She tells me that people grope her in public and kiss her when they pass by too. I am deeply disturbed that something might be wrong with her as I care about her very much. I don't know if it is caused by dissociating or some other mental illness but I will never let anything happen to this woman again. I have considered marrying her in a couple years but I don’t know if I can trust someone that puts no effort in trying to stop this from happening. I feel like an butthole for even thinking that but I want to protect her. Please anybody let me know if you have been a in a similar situation or any ideas to help her. Thank you.