Women leaves hours of filmed s*x between her and her new man on ICloud. Ex-husband finds it on their kids iPad. She is the victim

I was slut shamed in court and got my children taken away from me

I have no idea where to turn. I am heartbroken.

I will be more honest than maybe I should be. This is in Texas.

I have two children and have been their primary custodial parent since birth. I have been with my current husband for seven years total. He is only the second man I've ever been with.

One day, I asked if he would ever be interested in exploring more. We had transparent conversations, we were open, he wasn't against it but wanted to do it with someone that we trusted.

Over two years we did this six times. Always safely, lways consensually. For posterity pictures and videos were taken.

Fast forward 6 months, we bought one of my children—10 years old—an iPad. She wanted the ability to use a messaging app and so I sync'd my iCloud account to her iPad.

The dad gets them every weekend and so sometimes they take their devices over there. You can see where this is going. What I learned later was that Dad had been trying to get the password to the iPad for years and eventually he figured it out and went through everything.

He found the hidden folder. He found the videos and the pictures.

He filed for emergency full custody.

The court documents state: “I exposed my children to hours of pornogrsphic material, that the material shows that I am doing these things against my will, forced by my husband, and by doing this in the custody of the children, have shown that I am unfit to be a mother.”

We got an attorney, we went to court. The judge (another woman) basically eviscerated me.

She said things like:

“I don't know any self-respecting woman who would do these kinds of things.”

“Has anyone checked the internet to see if these are on her OnlyFans?” (no mention of this was made, she just.. said it)

“I believe in the 1800s they called women like you jezebels.”

At one point my attorney said that I had sat my children down to explain what they saw. She said “oh, well what did she tell them?”

I said: “Their step dad knew about it, that it was safe, consensual and I'm sorry they had to see it.”

The judge said: “The fact you think any of this is okay makes this even more concerning to me.”

The dad said I was doing these things while I had custody of the children, and yet my attorney and I put together actual evidence that none of these videos were ever taken while the children were in my custody. The judge said “this isn't a trial so I'm not looking at evidence.”

At one point the judge said to me: “If you tell me your husband forced you to do these things, you can leave here with your children, and we will get you the help that you need.”

I told her that everything that happened I wanted to happen and it was done safely. She said she didn't believe me and told me the children were being given to dad.

My attorney basically had to walk me out of the court room, and I barely remember what happened afterward.

My attorney said in 14 years he had never seen someone judged based on their character and not their case so blatantly. He said “you were slut shamed by a puritan.”

This is why I'm posting here. I just don't know if I'm a good mother any more; if I'm ever going to see my children again. If I'm in the wrong maybe that's what I need to hear so I can get better.

Two days later the dad called me, I wish I had been recording, he told me: “I told you I was going to take them from you, didn't I? You never believed me.”