Instead of crying and vague signals, a women speaks directly and her boyfriend follows thru. Twox ponders why

Has anyone noticed that their male partners respond better if you just ask for the thing you need with no context or explanation than they do if you explain why it's important to you and your relationship? It's almost like they don't care about what you're feeling, and just want a checklist.

I've been fed up with by boyfriend for not doing certain things for most of our relationship (texting me first, planning dates, complimenting me, etc.), and it wasn't uncommon for me to break down crying begging him to just send me a sweet message once a day, or plan a date, or give me a compliment more specific than "you're cute".

I always see men complain that women communicate poorly, so to avoid being that girl I'd always explain what I'm feeling, why i feel that way, and what I'd like to change going forward. I've been told in very articulate and an amazing communicator by my therapist, parents, friends, bosses, etc. so I know it wasn't a lack of conveying the right idea on my end. Sometimes he'd respond by shutting down completely and then I'd have to comfort him, reassuring him that I love him and I just need this one relatively minor thing to feel satisfied in our relationship. Other times he'd say he understands and wants to do better, but then nothing would ever change for more than a day or two.

One day I was feeling really sad and uncared for because he'd been spending every free hour he had playing final fantasy (over 100hrs in 2 weeks) for the past 2 weeks, but I didn't have the energy to have another rough conversion where I'm being very vulnerable, begging for a basic need, and then having him stonewall me. I decided I just wouldn't, so I texted him "can we go on a real date tomorrow?" He just said "yeah!" and planned us a really nice date.

I told my mom about this and she said that my dad was the same and she'd beg him to help with me and my sisters but he'd just shut down, or ignore her, or complain, until a friend of hers said "try making a to-do list." She wrote one and he did everything on it without complaining. After she started putting it on a list and asking without expressing any emotion, he did closer to his fair share.

On one hand, I'm hoping that realizing this will help me communicate better with my partner. On the other hand, if you love someone, wouldn't you be more motivated to do something if you know it's important to him?

Are men really just so simple minded? I don't know how to feel about this.