Has anyone noticed that their male partners respond better if you just ask for the thing you need with no context or explanation than they do if you explain why it's important to you and your relationship? It's almost like they don't care about what you're feeling, and just want a checklist.
I've been fed up with by boyfriend for not doing certain things for most of our relationship (texting me first, planning dates, complimenting me, etc.), and it wasn't uncommon for me to break down crying begging him to just send me a sweet message once a day, or plan a date, or give me a compliment more specific than "you're cute".
I always see men complain that women communicate poorly, so to avoid being that girl I'd always explain what I'm feeling, why i feel that way, and what I'd like to change going forward. I've been told in very articulate and an amazing communicator by my therapist, parents, friends, bosses, etc. so I know it wasn't a lack of conveying the right idea on my end. Sometimes he'd respond by shutting down completely and then I'd have to comfort him, reassuring him that I love him and I just need this one relatively minor thing to feel satisfied in our relationship. Other times he'd say he understands and wants to do better, but then nothing would ever change for more than a day or two.
One day I was feeling really sad and uncared for because he'd been spending every free hour he had playing final fantasy (over 100hrs in 2 weeks) for the past 2 weeks, but I didn't have the energy to have another rough conversion where I'm being very vulnerable, begging for a basic need, and then having him stonewall me. I decided I just wouldn't, so I texted him "can we go on a real date tomorrow?" He just said "yeah!" and planned us a really nice date.
I told my mom about this and she said that my dad was the same and she'd beg him to help with me and my sisters but he'd just shut down, or ignore her, or complain, until a friend of hers said "try making a to-do list." She wrote one and he did everything on it without complaining. After she started putting it on a list and asking without expressing any emotion, he did closer to his fair share.
On one hand, I'm hoping that realizing this will help me communicate better with my partner. On the other hand, if you love someone, wouldn't you be more motivated to do something if you know it's important to him?
Are men really just so simple minded? I don't know how to feel about this.
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women are a fricking meme holy shit
they get what they want and still complain
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Duh, all they're getting are basic human needs, like daily loving texts and effort-free dates
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This is the real emotional labor
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If there's one thing I know about about women it's that they are guaranteed to have no fricking idea what they want, ever.
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https://old.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1btkqs4/has_anyone_noticed_that_their_male_partners/kxng3qg/?context=8
I wonder if this
made the guy 10% more in favor of repealing the 19th
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That one's great, she's just ignoring the lesson from OPs post. She's saying the method that worked doesn't always work so they HAVE to use the method that never works.
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Love how this contradicts the OP so perfectly just to find a cope.
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lmfao
i feel this post to the bottom of my core
"wow having hour long struggle sessions and doing therapy talk didn't work that's crazy why are men like this?!?!"
"I asked him to do thing and he did thing, wow that's crazy, why are men like this!?!?!"
YES. GOD DAMMIT. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I think I have PTSD about this shit. It's been literally every relationship ever. We had plenty of money, no kids, healthy family lives, b-word why are you having a meltdown and telling me "we need to have a serious talk" because I'm not keeping my desk clean or I'm spending too much time with my friends or EVERY OTHER STUPID ISSUE I DON'T GIVE A FRICK ABOUT? But unlike the woman in the article, please DON'T make a list and just shut up and try to be happy for once instead jesus christ
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Preface every notice of a night with the boys with a 5 paragraph explanation of who nurgle the god of pestilence is and how the cult of sigmar is undermining the legitimate claim of the empire
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dramaphobic neighbor, put ur girl on she seems more fun
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I'm still very close friends with my last ex and she would be fun on here, but I'd never tell her about this place in a billion years.
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Kitty
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Telling someone else to do something for you is an emotional load. Holy shit this is why I went
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Stopping yourself subjecting your partner to half an hour of ranting before they do the thing you asked them to is ✨emotional labor✨ and deserves to be compensated for sweety
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Yes, simp scrotes should pay. My monastary is a non-profit though so bye
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I remember when my wife did IVF she went full foid mode and complained about how much she had to orchestrate everything: clean (manage our maid), cook (manage our personal chef), and do errands (instruct our personal assistant). I guess I could have done more to manage our servants, but darn.
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What level of idle rich are you on?
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selfish ngl
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HE SHOULD JUST KNOW
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Not being able to read my mind is weaponized incompetence
What a meme
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If you take something that is naturally simple and make it needlessly complex then youre the simple minded one.
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Even when foids
find out the cheat code they want to feel like a victim 
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Have I been dating uncracked eggs all along? One of my worst pet peeves is when a guy just starts spouting weird emotional stuff to preface a request instead of just getting to the point in plain english.
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It's like recipe posts that are 99.9% inane backstory. Just tell me what you want, I don't need all the extraneous bullshit.
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All the extraneous bullshit always comes off as whiny and accusatory too.
"I've been feeling neglected because it's been a rough week at work and you've been busy with your hobbies and friends so it's really super important for our relationship for you to take me out this weekend" instantly puts the dude on edge for an infinite number of future fights and nagging about how he's neglectful where a simple "let's go out" is just a nice invitation to do some fun shit with their girlfriend.
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Lol oh you felt a little bit neglected this week? Welcome to how I've felt for the last 35 years.
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It's not about getting what they want, it's about feeling like they won at something. If they just ask and get what they asked for, it can't be spun into some mythic tale about all the emotional labour they do and how they're carrying the relationship by themselves.
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"Did you hear what Lisa did?"
"Nah, what happened?"
"So I was at the grocery store yesterday morning getting food for our bbq with Susan and Dave and I'm in the beauty aisle and couldn't decide if I wanted to color my hair brown..."
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Holy shit yes. I know only some women do this but I've had friends like this and it's insane. Thankfully I'm in a position where I can call them out for the circuitous nonsense and tell them to get to the point.
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https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/local/wp/2018/07/20/feature/crossing-the-divide-do-men-really-have-it-easier-these-transgender-guys-found-the-truth-was-more-complex/
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The only good thing to come out of transgenders is FTMs complaining about being treated like men.
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You should be able to infer the recipe from the scents and sounds the author remembers from her childhood
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They do that for SEO and ad space, which I guess is similar to the way women speak in that they try to catch your attention with unrelated BS.
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Zoz
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zlE
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Who writes those recipe posts?
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The... jews? Its the jews right?
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The jews of gender, indeed
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You've been dating women with
or close to it.
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female autism and poonerism are the same thing
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Are you the type of chick that makes them feel like theyre walking on egg shells 24/7? If so, that's why
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I'm pretty boring and easygoing.
I just don't see the point of going “can I ask you a favor/question since x” instead of just asking outright.
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Yeah sounds like you've been dating women lol. Idk, go for guys who are more direct early on?
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Pffft, women.
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women cry if they don't get texted every day holy fricking shit
just fricking kill me
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also they will cry if they don't
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And even if you fail to text them every day, they still cry
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Stay strong, king. The wizard powers will be worth more than all the female trans lives matter nonsense you've been spared.
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"a single text message a day is too much heckin emotional labor"
the absolute state of zoomer men
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The men in her examples did what was asked of them without complaining
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Yes but they're doing what she wants in ✨bad faith✨
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The most helpful advice thats ever been given on the sub, said in a way 2x foids can understand, with terms like "emotional labor" and "therapy", and its at -7
2x foids cant handle the truth
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women need women friends and mothers and sisters to vent to. 10/10 all of them, or we get threads like this.
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Isn't that what that thread is though lmoa, women venting to each other
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literally doesn't count if it's not in-person
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Implying that men aren't LITERALLY the same as women is hate speech and deserves more downmarseys than it already got
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This entire thread is about how men don't act like we women would, but there's literally no difference between men and women chud. Any man who doesn't think like a woman is just a bad person. Asking my boyfriend to do something is emotional labor and it's literally domestic abuse that he can't read my mind.
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I'd also say men can be happy with almost nothing because they get nothing like the emotional support women get. Men don't need as much the same way some animals have evolved to process their nutrients as efficiently as possible because of their scarcity.
I have a theory that one of the sources of
s is men who want that level of emotional support and attention women get, and it's only possible if they 'become' a woman. They're the ones who fetishise emotional instability, crying all the time, etc. because they see women like the reddit OP and want that freedom to be a crying wreck.
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7,000,000,003rd foid in history of the human race independently discovers esoteric techniques to make moids do stuff (ask them to do it)
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I hate women.
“My boyfriend won't do XYZ! I don't understand it! God, literally all men are the same!”
If that's true then wouldn't it mean it's something genetic and can't be helped?
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Yes, being violent, emotionally stunted degenerates is encoded into the scrote DNA and thus is an inextricable part of being a moid. I don't make the rules, honey.
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Frick yeah dudes rock 😎😎😎
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In all honesty though if you aren't capable of being proactive in a relationship with someone you probably shouldn't be in a relationship lol
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I absolutely hate when my foid decides her one sentence issue needs a fricking essay to explain. I get it, we gotta switch the cars in the drive way because of an early meeting. I don't need to hear how the meeting came to be.
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if you loved her, you would want to hear all about it
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Every day, I wake up and thank God for blessing me with homosexuality.
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Same. Straggotry seems like truly a insufferable existence.
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I wish I was gay, why must I be cursed to with straggotry.
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You aren't cursed, it's a choice.
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Snapshots:
https://old.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1btkqs4/has_anyone_noticed_that_their_male_partners/:
undelete.pullpush.io
ghostarchive.org
archive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
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