Has anyone noticed that their male partners respond better if you just ask for the thing you need with no context or explanation than they do if you explain why it's important to you and your relationship? It's almost like they don't care about what you're feeling, and just want a checklist.
I've been fed up with by boyfriend for not doing certain things for most of our relationship (texting me first, planning dates, complimenting me, etc.), and it wasn't uncommon for me to break down crying begging him to just send me a sweet message once a day, or plan a date, or give me a compliment more specific than "you're cute".
I always see men complain that women communicate poorly, so to avoid being that girl I'd always explain what I'm feeling, why i feel that way, and what I'd like to change going forward. I've been told in very articulate and an amazing communicator by my therapist, parents, friends, bosses, etc. so I know it wasn't a lack of conveying the right idea on my end. Sometimes he'd respond by shutting down completely and then I'd have to comfort him, reassuring him that I love him and I just need this one relatively minor thing to feel satisfied in our relationship. Other times he'd say he understands and wants to do better, but then nothing would ever change for more than a day or two.
One day I was feeling really sad and uncared for because he'd been spending every free hour he had playing final fantasy (over 100hrs in 2 weeks) for the past 2 weeks, but I didn't have the energy to have another rough conversion where I'm being very vulnerable, begging for a basic need, and then having him stonewall me. I decided I just wouldn't, so I texted him "can we go on a real date tomorrow?" He just said "yeah!" and planned us a really nice date.
I told my mom about this and she said that my dad was the same and she'd beg him to help with me and my sisters but he'd just shut down, or ignore her, or complain, until a friend of hers said "try making a to-do list." She wrote one and he did everything on it without complaining. After she started putting it on a list and asking without expressing any emotion, he did closer to his fair share.
On one hand, I'm hoping that realizing this will help me communicate better with my partner. On the other hand, if you love someone, wouldn't you be more motivated to do something if you know it's important to him?
Are men really just so simple minded? I don't know how to feel about this.
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Have I been dating uncracked eggs all along? One of my worst pet peeves is when a guy just starts spouting weird emotional stuff to preface a request instead of just getting to the point in plain english.
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Are you the type of chick that makes them feel like theyre walking on egg shells 24/7? If so, that's why
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I'm pretty boring and easygoing.
I just don't see the point of going “can I ask you a favor/question since x” instead of just asking outright.
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Yeah sounds like you've been dating women lol. Idk, go for guys who are more direct early on?
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It's like recipe posts that are 99.9% inane backstory. Just tell me what you want, I don't need all the extraneous bullshit.
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All the extraneous bullshit always comes off as whiny and accusatory too.
"I've been feeling neglected because it's been a rough week at work and you've been busy with your hobbies and friends so it's really super important for our relationship for you to take me out this weekend" instantly puts the dude on edge for an infinite number of future fights and nagging about how he's neglectful where a simple "let's go out" is just a nice invitation to do some fun shit with their girlfriend.
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Lol oh you felt a little bit neglected this week? Welcome to how I've felt for the last 35 years.
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It's not about getting what they want, it's about feeling like they won at something. If they just ask and get what they asked for, it can't be spun into some mythic tale about all the emotional labour they do and how they're carrying the relationship by themselves.
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"Did you hear what Lisa did?"
"Nah, what happened?"
"So I was at the grocery store yesterday morning getting food for our bbq with Susan and Dave and I'm in the beauty aisle and couldn't decide if I wanted to color my hair brown..."
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Holy shit yes. I know only some women do this but I've had friends like this and it's insane. Thankfully I'm in a position where I can call them out for the circuitous nonsense and tell them to get to the point.
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https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/local/wp/2018/07/20/feature/crossing-the-divide-do-men-really-have-it-easier-these-transgender-guys-found-the-truth-was-more-complex/
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The only good thing to come out of transgenders is FTMs complaining about being treated like men.
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You should be able to infer the recipe from the scents and sounds the author remembers from her childhood
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They do that for SEO and ad space, which I guess is similar to the way women speak in that they try to catch your attention with unrelated BS.
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Zoz
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zlE
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Who writes those recipe posts?
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The... jews? Its the jews right?
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The jews of gender, indeed
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You've been dating women with or close to it.
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female autism and poonerism are the same thing
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