Video game journo sneeds about G*mergate 2.0, someone digs up a video of him playing Cuphead

https://x.com/Delta1169/status/1769340550224765230

The same guy also gave the original Mass Effect a negative review :marseypearlclutch: and it turned out he didn't assign skill points;

https://kotaku.com/takahashi-amends-mass-effect-review-339632

https://i.rdrama.net/images/17107335693857553.webp

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I don't know much about Cuphead. Are the jump and dash controls ridiculously obtuse and/or finicky, or is he actually that r-slurred? The instructions in the background seem pretty straightforward, but software devs are almost as dumb as journos, so I wanna make sure. :marseyfluffy:

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He's actually that r-slurred.

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Incredible. He only beat the kid by 30 seconds. That is some truly monstrous r-sluration. :marseybluecheck:

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!g*mers what was that dogshit Doom 2016 playthrough that really made g*mercels nootice how much passionate gaming journ*lists are at playing video games?

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This one I think? lol

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unironically what I'd look like trying to play a FPS with a controller lmao

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Apparently that one journo was that bad at video games. However, his writings supposedly were not concerned with playing games, but with being a set dressing for a business blog. He never claimed to being actively gaming related. Apparently this was an industry stooge caught on tape at something unfamiliar.

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People who aren't intuitively good at games can't be trusted to produce anything of value, aside from their organs

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yeah they are bad but that guy wasnt even using the intuitiveness of the tutorial ganeplay

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I figured, but you can't be too careful these days. Lotta r-slurs out there. Wouldn't wanna go after the wrong one. :marseyregistration:

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watch this him in his full glory

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The description is somehow worse than the video. :marseyretardnotes:

Updated description from GamesBeat PC gaming editor Jeff Grubb: GamesBeat lead writer and reporter Dean Takahashi doesn't really play platformers or sidescrolling action games. He's bad at them. But since he was the only member of our staff in Germany during the time of Gamescom, he agreed to try it out for us. What would happen next would change all of our lives forever because no one knew Dean could be this bad.

When Dean came back from Germany and explained that his Cuphead gameplay was terrible, we weren't going to be the only ones to suffer through seeing it. So we decided to put it online so everyone else could pull their hair out and scream "DAMMIT DEAN!" along with the GamesBeat staff.

We posted this video as an embed in a story titled "Cuphead Gamescom hands-on: My 26 minutes of shame with an old-time cartoon game." At that time, the video was just titled "Cuphead gameplay: It's not easy." https://venturebeat.com/games/cuphead-hands-on-my-26-minutes-of-shame-with-an-old-time-cartoon-game/

Unfortunately, the video in isolation on YouTube lacked the full context. It didn't explain that we were posting this as a joke. A shitlord on Twitter also linked to this video and claimed these are the same people doing reviews. People came to the conclusion that this video was somehow part of a review, and the clip and this description did not provide the proper context to correct those assumptions. That is our fault.

None of this excuses the racism, sexism (why is your go-to insult for a bad g*mer always a woman?), death threats, calls for suicide, or really even the anger that drove people to demand anything of Dean or us. If this video frustrated you, we get that. That was the point, but it's worth a laugh and not much else.

A group of people want to use this clip -- the only one of the handful he recorded at Gamescom that suggests he lacks competency -- and a Mass Effect review from a decade ago that he had to retract to justify their claims that he should not have his job and needs to be fired. In the process, you have to be intentionally ignorant of the rest of his career. But let's ignore the books he's written about the Xbox and Xbox 360 and the scoops he's had about Blizzard canceling Titan or the reach of the RROD scandal. Let's just focus on Gamescom. In addition to Gamescom, he recorded this Assassin's Creed Origins gameplay that is completely competent. And as of the time of this writing, it hasn't even been bombarded with dislikes:

If you're just asking him to display competency in games, there it is. There are more videos of him doing the same in a variety of games. So to make this about Dean lacking the skill to competently do his job is simply dishonest.

If you want to hold us accountable for something real, try this: we published the article with the claim that StudioMDHR made Super Meat Boy before making Cuphead. That was careless and inexcusable. We have to do better.

But if you make this about some sort of culture war or gatekeeping, you're buying into a narrative of people who are trying to manipulate you. If you want more on that, I invite you to read Dean's column about this experience: https://venturebeat.com/games/the-deanbeat-our-cuphead-runneth-over/

If you read through all of this, thank you. I'm sorry that we failed to provide the context to enable you to enjoy this video in the way that we intended. I'm sorry we missed the factual error. If that's not good enough for you, and you want to swear off ever consuming our content, that is your right. If something makes you mad, don't ever let anyone make you feel like you have to keep it in your life.

If you do come back, well ... I'm going to try to get Dean to play through all of Cuphead in a video series that we should probably call Game Crimes. We'll see if we can make that happen.

The issue isn't that he "doesn't really play platformers or sidescrolling action games", it's that he can't follow basic two-step instructions written directly onto the background of the level. Couple that excuse with the original title of the video, and they clearly thought this game was actually hard. And then in the video they linked to as an example of "gameplay that is completely competent", he's still incompetent! :marseysmugretard:

In that combat bit with the crocodiles... I don't know enough about gaming to really describe it, but his actions are the g*mer equivalent of people that just sit there for 30 seconds after a traffic light turns green, even if you honk at them a couple times. He gets lost multiple times on the way to his destination(s), despite that female character leading him and a bunch of markers on screen pointing him. When he reaches the bull, why does he turn into an eagle? Was that supposed to happen? Doesn't seem like it. And he kept trying to investigate the same things over and over even after the "Investigation Progress" bar filled up the first time. Then when it fills up completely and disappears, he just wanders around a bit, again not seeming to understand where he needs to go despite it being written on screen. :ragestrangle:

I don't even play video games, I'm just literate and capable of understanding context clues, but I'm pretty sure I could've done that whole thing better than him. That's how low the bar is. :marseybang:

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A group of people want to use this clip -- the only one of the handful he recorded at Gamescom that suggests he lacks competency -- and a Mass Effect review from a decade ago that he had to retract to justify their claims that he should not have his job and needs to be fired.

This was such a terrible sentence. The people that wrote and edited this sentence should be fired alongside this guy, he clearly IS shit at video games. I don't give a frick if he wrote books about the Xbox, it doesn't mean they're good.

What a blatant Gish Gallop and also “check out this article about how you made him feeeeeel”. Nah, frick off

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