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I hate easily debunkable game theories

Like Sans being Ness in a failed timeline is funny and actually possible if not for IP infringement but I'm not even talking about shit like that. For some reason due to creepypastas people think half the zelda games are links dying fever dream. However this is r-slurred as the official zelda timeline lists every major zelda. All of them are canon in explicit detail. Why would this even be a thing anyone would bring up?

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https://i.rdrama.net/images/17203568177147307.webp

But what if the heckin link was actually dead the whole time :marseysoyhype: (even doe he is implied to have married Malon post-MM)

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https://i.rdrama.net/images/1720359193349959.webp :#marseysoypoint:

It's the only Zelda game I've played. :marseyboomer:

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This, plus the Oracle games, which I liked even more.

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Oracle of Ages was great, I probably beat it a half dozen times. How was Seasons?

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it's very good, I preferred it to Ages, although I've heard that that's not a common opinion. But the two games are meant to be played together anyway, because you need both games to reach Ganon and see all the extra content.

Although now that I think about it, despite playing them both many many times, I don't think I ever did the "full" run of the two: Seasons -> Link Ages -> Hero Ages -> Link Hero Seasons

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Best one hands down. I replayed it a year ago.

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I still haven't beat it. Haven't tried in a very long time.

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The little nasty parts are

  • the stupid worm for the Third Pendant

  • figuring out the pathway across the map after finishing the First Dark World Crystal

  • the fully immersive gay s*x scene if you haven't gotten the 5th bottle (condom)

  • the second Fairy Fountain where you throw your shit in for upgrades

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Bro, I couldn't hack it past that castle and into the marshes. I'd get destroyed every time. Granted, I haven't played since I was a wee lad.

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What if Link was BETRAYED and TRAPPED

https://i.rdrama.net/images/172035973476111.webp

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old man Goku

!anime uuhh kino :marseyfluffy:

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There's no way they didn't have gay s*x at least once in all that time. In all likelihood they were "trapped" in the hyperbolic time chamber having gay s*x for millions of years

Just saiyan

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What if Link identifies as a woman

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What if we held hands at hyrule gardens :marseyblush:

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No way!

Unless... :marseyshy2:

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>called a link to the past

>is one of the last games in the timeline

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They made this to placate nerds. If you play zelda and think there's anything going on beyond "hero is reborn anew and defeats evil", you have animemind.

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So where are the new straggy games on this

Timeline?

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https://i.rdrama.net/images/1720358645787712.webp Pretty much every game theory boils down to this.

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>le curtains were blue

This has literally damanged all discourse because pointing out symbolism is now seen as pretentious

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The issue is that symbolism is rarely present in the things that theory strags like (anime and vidya)

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Tru

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or its shallow symbolism like evangelion and chirstianity :marseyandjesus:

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Symbolism is whatever the reader takes away as meaningful. The author doesn't control what evokes meaning in others. But yeah this Venn diagram is accurate English teachers are r-slurs

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The real way to break it down is that "the curtains were blue" can act as a means towards setting the mood. Yes they were blue, but by being specifically blue the author brings out feelings of somberness, possibly calmness. This isn't necessarily some gigabrain conscious decision on the author's part. It's could just be the author picking a color based on the "vibe" they were getting from the scene while writing it. It "felt" better than say red curtains or brown curtains. They didn't necessarily deconstruct it. They just pick what felt best in a way the reader can also benefit from. !besties !pingkings someone ping bookworms for me please

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This comment is gold.


Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

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No it's blue

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Any symbolism (past the 18th century) is pretentious. Pointing it out is pretentious squared.

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Symbolism is like basic storytelling 101

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It's been beaten to death for several centuries, yes.

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Pointing out symbolism has always been seen as pretentious, as far as I'm aware. I think the point is that people find meaning in the most random shit and it rarely reflects what the author meant.

Nothing wrong with some speculations, but nowadays most "theories" tend to be just a product of some neurodivergent cute twink trying to project himself and his worldviews in whichever media he consumes. Which are taken as facts by said neurodivergent cute twinks.

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My theory is that Sylveon is a male feminist that hides behind a cute facade. No, I will not present any proof.

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Symbolism is for the symbol-minded.

:#marseysmirk2:

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I had a mental English teacher who would make us write essays about non-existent motifs in books we were reading on days she didn't want to teach, which was most days because she was a fat. She didn't let us use more than a page per essay and it had to be double-spaced so you'd have to write extremely small in order to fill in whatever insane request she had for the day. She also tried to ban Catch 22 from the library at one point lol high school was surreal

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Why ban catch 22 that book is kino

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What I really hate is strags on YouTube who are like "I fixed X!" or "I rewrote X!" and it's like no you fricking didn't, you had a couple ideas. You did not draw a comic, you did not film a movie or even write a script, you did not write a book. You did not do any of the parts where ideas even CAN go wrong. If you're telling me that you imagining a cool piece of media is "writing," then every time you jerk off you should also post a video called "I fricked a hot Asian MILF"

!writecel

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If you're telling me that you imagining a cool piece of media is "writing," then every time you jerk off you should also post a video called "I fricked a hot Asian MILF"

:marseyveryworried: the implications of this statement wrt my virginity are very troublesome

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:marseypoint: FAKECEL FAKECEL FAKECEL FAKECEL FAKECEL :marseymegaphone:

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Fanfic-cels destroyed

:#marseyzoomergenocide:

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He likes fanfiction, he doesn't like neighbors who talk about how cool X fanfiction could be.

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I'm not talking about actual fanfiction. I'm talking about like ideas for fanfiction that people post about as though they're creative works

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The ones who add lyrics to video game music should ve executed. :marseyrage:

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I miss Newgrounds users adding joke interpretations to latin lyrics tho

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"After binge watching your IP for the Nth time I see what might be a plot hole or piece of dialog that could be written better, I totally FTFY!!!"


The time has come for the Necromaster. The unleashing of the fourth joker's card. The arrival of The Great Milenko

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It was all in le head! :marseycrazy:

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!bookworms, !kino, what if everyone who suggested "it was all in [insert character]'s head" was beat to death with a copy of Ambrose Bierce's An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge and Robert Wiene's The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, and their deaths were then incorporated into the work itself? Isn't that a wacky theory? Wouldn't that make the story much more interesting than actually paying attention to what's happening on the page or screen? :marseytrollgun:

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It's a metaphor for becoming trans

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That's actually a good idea!

:marseythumbsup:

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Game theories in 1990s: Missingno is actually :marseynerd3: one of the failed :marseyoutried: experiments to make Mewtwo while cloning Mew. They are soulless :marseyglobohomo: abominations.

Game theories post 2018: The really :marseythinkorino2: cool/powerful character :marseypinocchio: is actually :marseynerd3: trans :marseychadfoid: :marseytrain:

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!cuteandvalid even where we've never tread, we've conquered :marseytransrentfree:

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I can't help it :chudspin:

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:#marseytransrentfree:

!cuteandinvalid, when will it end??? :marseyeyeroll2: :marseyeyeroll2: :marseyeyeroll2:

Update: he doubled down.

GOVERNMENT CRAMS THE :marseytrain: PEEPEE INTO MY MOUTH IN MY DREAMS< IVE SEEN IT ON TELEVISION!!

:#marseyrightoidschizotalking: :!#marseyrofl:

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Wanted attention :marseytrickster: and exposure to the world. Gets it crammed down everyone's throats, government-sponsored

" Why are people thinking :marseythinkorino: about us :soycry:"

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:#tayno:

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I have to double down. As a G*mer :marseyblops2chadcel: I am blood-sworn to fight :marseyjaguarwarrior: women :marseyextinction: and minorities for all time and since trans :marseybrianna2: women :marseyuterus: are women :marseygoodnight: I have no choice.

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the "samus is trans" sneed causing article is 2015 :marseyakshually:

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Sometimes I feel like someone with dementia, slipping in and out of lucidity.

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The theory that every game contains a homosexual character (you, the player)

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I hate game theories in general

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We said the same thing :marseysoypoint: We are so samesies :marseygossip:

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I have a theory that Denmark smells really bad

:#marseysrdine:

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Like it or not, I am your peer. I have reviewed your theory :marseygoldenhorseshoe: and you may now declare it peer-reviewed :marseythumbsup: :marseyagree:

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i know, it confuses the heck out of me

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Game_theory

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I hate lore-based game theories because they paved the way for the shitty video essay ecosystem of modern youtube and its EVERYTHING

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Ones that try to prove something stupid using science are far more interesting but its whatever

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>Easily debunkable

Geeks who strag out to "what if"ing vidya game lore aren't worth the effort you put into this post

They're easily debunkable because they dont have any creative control over their chosen IP

That's it.

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because they live in fan fiction Groomercords and literotica for video games

They don't remember that normal people don't read anything they say

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The majoras mask link is dead theory is so dumb because it skirts against the truth but then completely misinterprets it. Termina probably isnt a real place before link visits it but its not his dying dream, its more a manifestation of his and skull kid's memories of the other world

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Zelda has a no limits magical universe so ANYTHING is possible. There's a new dimension in every fricking game. Heck even the new one they just announced starts with link being pulled into some new dimensional slime shit.

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Matpat has one of the most punchable faces I've ever seen

https://i.rdrama.net/images/1720360679267051.webp

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>official zelda timeline

:#marseyschizowall:

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@FearOfGameTheorees :soycry:

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Final Fantasy 8 is Squall's dying fever dream after he gets an icicle in the throat.

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Is it just me, or is the whole movie The Game kinda far fetched?

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It is but still kino

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This is not the Nash equilibrium I clicked on this thread to find.

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I remember I got into an argument on reddit awhile ago with a person over Italian food. It got to the point they were following me into other subs to harass me.

I clicked on their profile to block them and their most recent post was them drinking their own piss on /r/piss. At that moment I realized I had spent so much pointless time arguing about the taste of food with someone who drinks their own piss as a hobby. This site is a shit hole.

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The "it was all in the main character's head" bullshit is easily the most annoying fanfic theory to litter the internet. It's lazy, stupid, and unoriginal. "But what if it was all just in his head?" is less than one step removed from reality. The entire thing was just all in the writer's head in the first place you fricking morons.

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