EFFORTPOST Let's Play Civ4: Dawn of Civilization Cute twinks Part 4: Barbarians and Franks

We're playing the turboneurodivergent Dawn of Civilization mod for Civilization IV that replicates world history. !g*mers !historychads

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

336AD, the Roman Empire is #1 in the world by far but the Roman Golden Age has concluded. We've just conquered Nubia. The Western Roman Empire more or less officially ended in 476AD when Odoacer deposed Romulus Augustus so we're coming up on the timeframe we're supposed to be dead.

We successfully avoided the Western Roman Empire/Eastern Roman Empire split but more civilizations are going to rise and attempt to fracture off of our existing territory. The Arabs are gonna spawn with a huge butt army ready to spread Islam (which we founded already in Egypt ) and the European powers are going to start cropping up.

I'll need to prepare for this and be ready to retake this shit at a moment's notice from armies leveraged against me.

My goal is to vassalize the European powers so I can benefit from their global colonization.

We've had a small archer regiment providing us contact with India but only now I've gotten a scout east who can pass through the Bengal rainforest to meet China.

They inexplicably hate us for existing as with everyone else in the world, but they're willing to trade. They offer jade and venison for our wine and dyes with a lil gold to sweeten the deal.

They seem to be doing well but we're still #1 in the world by far. Persia is the only empire that comes close to matching us technologically - only they can research something we haven't researched yet.

Persia also has a lot of gold. I might trade them some technology for cash at benefit to them. This will improve relations, and I have a strong espionage network going with them so if they research something I don't have I can just steal it. Also, I predict the Arabs are going to BTFO them badly when they spawn.

With the money we gain from the tech trade, we can actually apply more espionage power to steal what they research. DEVIOUS!

With continued espionage harassment we get our first Great Spy, Locusta*. If a civilization were far ahead of us we could send her to infiltrate for a huge boost, but as we're top dog I'll settle her in Roma for a permanent +12 espionage and small science boost that will continue throughout history. +12 is quite significant early on, so this is pretty advantageous.

_{*This is a particularly cool article I recommend reading}

The dipshit Ethiopians continue to be difficult, despite everything we've done for them. Repeated Catholic missions to them have been failures and even the Catholic presence in Aksum eventually disappears. They will not bend from Orthodoxy. Even more insulting is that they've now sworn fealty to Persia. It's like they think we're a threat to them. All we've done is help them out and attempt to bring them peacefully into the Catholic faith.

They are officially a lost cause. No salvation for them.

Fine, because I have a new black best friend, the pagan Mande in West Africa

After researching Compass I'm able to pass ships through Cape Verde Peninsula and send a mission to Djoboro

I can't wait to spread the word of Christ and have a new Catholic brother!!!

Barbarians start to swarm about 400AD. The Roman Roads are a godsend as I can get my dudes quickly from one place to another as different areas get pounded. Byzantion as an espionage stronghold allows me to send spies out use the Citizenship bribery mechanic, this felt like a gimmick but it's actually super useful here. Just like irl I'm able to pay off the huns to spare Constantinople + I get free Hunnic Horse Archers to fight back with

By 450 it's a full on barbarian invasion

Did you know a !foidmoment almost caused the fall of Rome? In the 400s Valentinian III had a complete for a sister named Honoria. She was notorious for fricking and sucking around the Imperial palace and Valentinian graciously attempted to set her up with a nice senator while he was attempting to fend off the pillaging of hunnic warlord Attila. Honoria was pissed off by this and wrote a gushy love letter to Attila the Hun out of spite.

The Meeting of Leo the Great and Attila by Raphael

Attila interpreted this letter as a marriage proposal and invaded Italy directly aiming to claim the seat of Rome, which he felt he gained a rightful claim to. Pope Leo I the Great met with Attila personally and somehow persuaded him to back off.

Our stability is okay, but definitely starting to dip. Okay is not good enough for what's coming. As always, military and foreign trickle down with the rest of the world being buttholes and barbarians up in our shit. Economy and expansion are not booming anymore.

Our treasury is doing alright but could be improved (right now we're running 40% research funding). Domestic could be improved easily with some civic changes.

We've researched Feudalism and now have another Legitimacy civic available to us. We don't have much reason to run Citizenship at this point, other than bribing barbarians, but our military is now spread out enough to deal with them. Vassalage is lower upkeep with compatibility with Thalassocracy. This + the unit upkeep will get us about 30 more GP per turn. We also change to Caste System like we should have ages ago, since Slavery is outdated.

Last time I won by researching "Civil Service" first, completing the final historic victory condition. I undid this so that I could attempt a Space victory instead. We're getting to a point where I'm running out of shit to research OTHER than Civil Service and the Sassanids, our only near-equal won't research it either

This is kinda funny and forcing me to do things differently. I'm going to discover Gunpowder much earlier than I thought and get stronger artillery. "Civil Service" obsoletes our Legion so I have 100s more of those running around (which is good, they're based). But these slackers really need to research it soon so I can fail

I'll have to help these idiots out a little and sell them another tech at an absurdly generous price.

~472-480AD Ostrogoths pop up right outside Rome. I think this is meant to represent Odacer or Theodoric, right on schedule. The precision put into this mod is

I wasn't expecting this but I have knights (Lancers) in Roma at this point

The game does not appreciate that I survived Theodoric. Charlemagne and France spawn as an independent kingdom, taking Paris away from us.

Bourdeoux and Clermont secede too, and we must fight to get them back.

Remember how when Rome spawned we were given a great military advantage? Well now France gets it and I have to pull assault forces from everywhere in the empire to recapture it.

How's that for a Stack of Doom motherlovers

France's doomstack is defeated by my gigadoomstack and I recapture Clermont. France cannot capitulate for some reason Probably a DoC thing for new civilizations. I don't remember all the rules. I think once "Rise of the French" ends they can become a vassal. I don't want to annihilate them, my goal is to have them become a vassal and take advantage of their colonization. For now, I've taken back a city, taken out their army and shown them who's boss.

I'm fine with just holding Clermont as it gives me foot access to Iberia. I just need to get Roman culture flowing fast.

This will be the first of many as new civs start to spawn.

The Vikings/Norse have arrived for example and introduced themselves in England. They may start to raid, but no threat of secession here.

However, around 600AD a certain guy who cannot be depicted visually is born in the Arabian Peninusla

Egypt and the Levant is lost Most of my army is kicked out and expelled to Knossos in Crete. I don't have enough boats to pick them up in, so they're stranded on Crete for a while

Conquering Nubia turns out to have been a good idea because it's outside of the flip zone, and gives us a southern vector for attack.

Next time: crusades

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