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College moid asks female friend if she's interested in having s*x with him and then accepts it when she says no. Redditors tell him he's a male feminist.

https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/11of65g/i_21m_asked_my_friend_21f_to_be_fwb_and_now_she

								

								

How he describes the incident:

I pulled her aside after a study session last week and once everyone else had left I brought up how we're both single and asked if she wanted to be friends with benefits. She asked what I meant and I said that we could hookup sometimes and otherwise keep things the same and still be friends. She said that she really isn't interested in that and that she doesn't see me that way. I just said "oh, ok. see you tomorrow then" and left.

Her response:

At the study sessions she sits at the other side of the table from where she used to. She only works with other people in the group and doesn't even glance at me except if I directly ask her a question. Yesterday, I tried to walk alongside her as she left the study session and said "hey, I haven't seen you in a while, how's it going?" She said that she didn't want to talk and that she feels weird about me.

His response to her response:

I left her alone after that but I'm crushed. I understand why she's mad at me and I know it's all my fault. I was incredibly stupid and I don't know if I can undo what I did. I thought if she said no she would just tease me a little and leave it at that but I understand that what I said really hurt her. Is there any way I can get her to be friends with me again? Should I apologize and if so how should I word it? I really don't want to lose her as a friend.

So far so good, right? Surely s*x-positive redditors won't wildly overreact to this turn of events. :marseyclueless:

A few comments:

I think she was interested in you until you reduced her to the status of a rubber doll. FYI, don’t offer to use women friends as s*x objects in the future. If you don’t want to date them just go on tinder for you FWB’s.

 

Ok, thanks for the advice. I don't think she's going to want to talk to me yet but when she's hopefully cooled down I'll include what you've said.

She doesn’t need to “cool down”, dude your usage of language is atrocious.

She is rightfully freaked out! You’re coming off like a s*x offender!

Further developments:

She told me to leave her alone and to not talk to her at the study sessions.

I didn't reply to that and I'm not going to today's study session. I feel ashamed and embarrassed at what I did, but I'm also very hurt that this happened. I'm upset that she's throwing away our friendship over this even though I know I shouldn't have asked her that.

He then starts getting a bunch of randoms coming at him calling him a creep and making fun of him and such.

This situation has been stressful for both of us, so I don't know why she's making it worse by telling people about it. We've both suffered enough already and would be better off if we just move on. I'm still devastated at losing her as a friend and at being rejected so I just want to lick my wounds and slowly get over it.

Pretty reasonable, right? He accepts that he's fricked up, leaves her alone, and wants to sit in a hole feeling bad about losing her as a friend for a while and then move on. Surely redditors will respond normally to-

Also, he doesn't get the fact that what she's doing now is her way of making sure he doesn't "try anything" with her. You know, like assault/r*pe/murder. IMO, women don't have the luxury of 'forgive and forget', they can choose to forgive, but can't afford to forget because one of these creeps could be the end of her (at the worst case scenario).

He thought the issue would stay between them, like the issue was him asking for a $20 loan or something. He creeped her out, and the girl might be thinking this is the best way to protect herself and her friends from OP.

 

You learned nothing from your last post. She is ABSOLUTELY entitled to tell people what you did, she has ZERO obligation to keep your creepy little secret.

You really cannot wrap your pea-brain around how utterly inappropriate and inexcusable what you asked was.

How dare you sook and play victim because she did nothing but tell the truth about you. Grow the frick up.

 

She’s warning other women away from you. What you did is beyond the pale and there should be a warning put out on dudes like you. You still don’t get it, you think it’s just that she reacted weirdly. She didn’t. She reacted normally. She’s keeping her friends safe. Because you still think it’s not about you.

Yes this man is clearly a violent threat to women everywhere. I'm shocked nobody has called the police.

Everyone in the original threads seems to be in agreement that OP needs to see the inside of a jail cell, but the controversial sort in the metathread yields some interesting slapfights, including people saying he did nothing wrong

I am so confused. Since when is it wrong to ask friends in college if they wanted to hook up????

College isn’t a free pass to ask anyone you like to frick without strings and not expect consequences for your shitty behaviour.

 

Speaking as a man whose social skills are built off decades of frick ups, I’m biased to want to keep this private. That said, I absolutely acknowledge that women need to protect themselves by spreading the word like this.

she can and should share anything she pleases about things that happen in her life. it's not her job to protect him or worry about his reputation or future prospects or set up a nice protected social learning environment for him at school so he can practice on the other girls. ew.

Why should women cater to him and why should we treat him with baby gloves? He’s not entitled to women giving him a chance, and women are not obligated to give him a chance. If he fricked up, he has to live with the consequences of his actions, and I think it’s well-deserved based off of his comments. Dude is so much in denial and with every additional comment he makes, it seems like he’s thinking more of himself & his (nonexistent) s*x life than the girl. He’s an absolute creep who reduces women to sexual objects. The girl has every right to warn her friends to stay away from this dude

Edit: all the incels downmarseying me for stating very reasonable criticisms lol. I can’t with men 🤦🏻‍♀️

And so on and so forth. Enjoy!

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wrong. sorry your life sucks this much though

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Not wrong, why do you think anti-foid rhetoric is so popular online?

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because incels have no life other than using the internet?

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You think this is coming from incels lmao?

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yes. you are an incel

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If I have a gf I live with, how am I an incel?

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your gf is barely human. plus is she REALLY your girlfriend when she’s constantly cheating on you with other men? you really don’t have that much to offer

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right, yet she's still smarter than you are, and still a better foid than you are.

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wrong

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Because the majority of the world and thus a large amount of the internet is populated by Stone Age r-slurs like Muslims

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