Introduction
Depending on the ability of your pattern recognition skills , you've possibly noticed the growing counter-narrative to the overpopulation discourse. Where many people are worried about the falling birth rates and worry that the current birthing rates won't be able to sustain our current population and will ultimately result in the human population levels collapsing in on itself.
There lies a dichotomy of people who attempt to address falling birthrates. On one hand, we have poor and stupid people birthing more children due to their poor understanding of what a condom is , while on the other side of the spectrum, we have rich neurotic Silicon Valley workers bearing multiple children and pouring millions into research for solutions to address this issue .
While a majority of drama comes from nihilists and antinatalists, today we're only gonna focus on the other side, specifically one couple in particular. And how their obsession with birth rates took hold of their entire personalities and led to the formation of their momentously neurodivergent plans to save humanity.
"We must secure the existence of our people and a future for neurodivergent inbred children."
The below-average-looking couple pictured above is comprised of Simone and Malcolm Collins. They describe themselves as pronatalists and are wholeheartedly committed to resolving the falling birth rates in several ways. Naturally, for their first course of action, the Collins has decided on having anywhere between 7 to 13 children. Additionally, they're attempting to shift the culture from people having no babies to having lots of them. Yet, before we discuss how they came to be their views we need to delve into their past.
A true Reddit love story
Simone and Malcolm came from very different backgrounds. Malcolm was a troublesome kiddo who was sent to Military school by his formerly wealthy father (who was a massive coomer, Dude was married five times and squandered his family fortune throughout these marriages). Leaving Malcolm with unresolved daddy issues. Simone however, always described herself as the odd one out in her family home:
Simone, meanwhile, came from polyamorous, tai-chi-practicing, hippie parents in Alameda, California. "I was kind of the black sheep of the family," she said. "Like, they would tell me to go out and drink and experiment, but I would rebel by staying home and doing my homework."
What a nerd
Simone wasn't always a pronatalist. She almost decided to become a childless femcel at the age of 24 after she got her heart broken (for the first time). But, Simone found the courage to not quit and assimilate into incel culture just yet, so she gave online dating a chance in hopes of meeting someone else:
Simone made a profile on OKCupid, where a picture of her dressed as a Stormtrooper in a sultry pose was catnip for the nerds of Silicon Valley, and rated her dates out of 50. After a string of 16s, Malcolm scored a 42. She made him promise to break up with her after four months. "I resent being in love with him," she said. "I was so disturbed when I fell for him."
The couple dated for a year and married each other after Malcolm proposed to Simone on Reddit through a proposal campaign (Link to proposal post). Malcolm knew that Jannies were sticklers for the rules and knew he couldn't outright post his marriage proposal without suffering the punishment of the mop. So he developed an elaborate scheme to post his proposal across several subreddits in hopes that it would blow up. And surprisingly, it worked and swept across multiple subs on Reddit. Malcolm was so proud of his achievement that he wrote his own article about it
Descent into madness
Both Simone and Malcolm went to elite business schools and ended up working for international business in Japan. It was during this time that Malcolm developed an neurodivergent obsession after learning about the collapsing birthrates. A majority of the worry was fueled by the general publics' insouciance response to it. Malcolms' infectious mania about the birth rates soon spread to Simone, and the couple acknowledged that action had to be taken to minimize the damages.
The couple arrived at the decision that they would bear several children (Anywhere from 7 to 13 of them ), yet Simone suffered from fertility issues and was rapidly approaching the day of the empty egg carton, thus the couple briskly devised a plan to ensure that no eggs would be left to spoil.
They began freezing any available embryos Simone had in what they unironically termed "The year of the harvest". However, the troubled couple couldn't risk having a dramatard as a child, so they proceeded to have every single embryo genetically tested for risk factors which they put into an Excel sheet:
Simone pulled up a spreadsheet filled with red and green numbers. Each row represented one of their embryos from the sixth batch, and the columns a variety of relative risk factors, from obesity to heart disease to headaches.
But the neurodivergent calculations didn't stop there. The couple also looked at and primarily focused on selecting embryos that had a relatively low risk of different mental disorders such as depression, anxiety, and ADHD, to ensure the best quality child. The couple often referred to themselves as "eugenics hipsters"
Despite, The Collins committing themselves to have several children, the task of salvaging the decreasing birth rates with only the two of them was beyond their means due to what the Collins thought were troubling aspects of modern-day culture that counteracted their goals:
The Collins worries that the overlap between the types of people deciding not to have children with the part of the population that values things like gay rights, education for women, and climate activism — traits they believe are genetically coded — is so great that these values could ultimately disappear.
With this predicament, the Collins deemed it necessary to ensure that the teach their little kiddos the value of having large families. They hope that each of their kids will also have anywhere from 7 to 13 children and that this trend will continue for about 13 generations until half of the worlds population soley consists of the Collins family
On final note,
Due to their traumatic experiences in grade school, The Collins have also created the Collins Institute a online school program for the young and self motivated neurodivergents that allows them to choose what they want to learn. It features regular courses such as the math and sciences, financial literacy classes, and even courses on "how to make friends" (lmao)
Nazi chuds or just neurodivergent nerds?
Now before we get to the drama, I feel that it's important to discuss how the Collins identify. Because shortly, you'll see chuds calling the Collins soy libs and libs calling them fascist mayo nazis. But what are they?
They claim they only slightly identify with the conservative party but stray away from associating themselves with the "crazy chuds":
Nonetheless, if you scroll through their Twitter long enough you'll see constant criticism levied against both progressives and conservatives (although more toward progressives) about not being concerned with popping out enough babies:
Birth rates?
They also identify as secular Calvinists. More specifically they believe that certain people are chosen to be superior and that free will is gay and fake:
What did they mean by this?
Simone added, after noting that her Jewish grandmother escaped Nazi-occupied France. "I'm not eliminating people. I mean, I'm eliminating from my own genetic pool, but these are all only Malcolm and me."
Either way, I can't confirm if they're covert neurodivergent nazis, but in my humble opinion they just seem closer to nerds who only care about popping out as many babies as humanly possible
The Controversial Collins
The couple shares a Twitter account which is exclusively used for pro-baby messaging. But their weird and controversial takes more often than not lead to ridicule from their dissenters:
Swolemisia
Unironically a fair amount of their criticisms go toward swoletards and those who don't look like malnourished twinks
Just remember chuds this is who calls you unhealthy and plans to replace you
The article they linked also didn't support what they were saying but that didn't stop the Collins from doubling down and saying that was their intended purpose:
They go on to spew a lot of words about how they were still right, but anti-science chuds weren't buying it:
“We were more interested in pissing people off” I hope these people get hit by a bus
In one more attempt to calm the outrage, the Collins claim they just did it as a prank
Surely, people will forgive them
If you're wondering what the heck a Torsten is it's one of the names of his kids along with brother Octavian, and their sister Titan Invictus. These kiddos really aren't gonna make it out of elementary school
Malcolm Collins also takes shots at high T males calling them genetic failures by claiming it's normal to be low T when you have kids:
Hhm I don't know if I trust the science on this one
Either way, the genetic deadends seethe at Malcolm over this tweet
Your wife will be 100% leaving you at some point in the future.
Why does no one ever talk about muh cortisol
How do we reach the kids?
Unfortunately for the zealous Collins, their baby propaganda often falls short of reaching younger folx due to the Collins being out of touch with reality and very cringe within their messaging:
This shit isn't fetch bruh frfr no 🧢
Wholesome. I'm gonna have kids just to teach them slurs
General cope
Reddit Drama
Linked above are both Malcolms and Simones Reddit accounts (aptly named SirTechnocracy and LadyTechnocracy ) which they use to this day. Going through their most recent accounts we find that they are often in the comments under posts about them, defending their beliefs. Even though they seem to have the standard persona of Redditors, they aren't well liked by them
Mayopeopletwitter
Simone & Malcolm Collins - WASP eugenicists who look like stick figures & worship Elon
It's almost as good as Redditors' imaginative fantasies
Wow, I can't believe the whole western United States is completely out of water. Why is no talking about this???
The Redditor recoils in fear in the presence of Übersoysch
Redscarepod
Imagine basing your life on an Idiocracy plot point
Simone Collins also appears in the thread defending her way of life but the commie chuds aren't having it:
Conclusion
If you ever doubted that you wouldn't be able to find an neurodivergent gf with a breeding fetish, let me there is hope for you
Additional Readings and Videos about the Collins
Podcast interview featuring Malcolm
He sounds exactly like you would expect lmao
Podcast interview with Simone Collins
Can super babies save the world
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