https://old.reddit.com/r/unpopularopinion/comments/1hmstlz/people_that_hate_small_talk_are_just_bad/

Most Based Comments

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I can small talk with people I like, I just don't like most people. (313)

well you're probably a bad conversationalist if you can't get enough chat out of people to find at least something to connect with them on (-40)

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I have absolutely zero desire to talk about the weather or your haircut. Zero desire. So I'm a bad conversationalist? (103)

Yup, if you can't make small stuff like that interesting then talking to you about the big stuff won't be that interesting either. Small talk and big talk go hand in hand (-41)

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I feel like its also that sometimes I am busy thinking about important stuff and small talk is a pointless distraction from that. Makes me assume people who insist on small talk have little going on up there.EDIT: I clearly don't think that its anyone who small talks is dumb, but people who are almost uncomfortable with silence and are bothered by others not small talking (81)

tub enjoy expansion spark future air rinse point shelter causeThis post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact (-22)

Angriest Comments

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Notice how I never said that disliking or not participating in small talk is inherently bad; I specifically talked about people who condescendingly look down on those who do participate in it, yet you chose to get offended in this manner by calling me entitled for some reason. I wonder why.I don't know, I think interacting with the people around you is good, it's nice to have a more closely knit interconnected society. On the whole, people have become more atomized, like particles floating through space never colliding, and while there are bigger socioeconomic causes for this, I think anti-social behavior/mindsets are both a symptom and a perpetuating factor.I understand people can have personal issues, trauma, etc. and at the end of the day, I can't force anyone to do anything. Doesn't change my view on the merits of it, though. (-3)

I'll tell you what the issue with your reply to people reading it is - in your list of examples, you denoted negatives to any situation in which someone would not like small talk and said that's fine. You gave "excuses" for not liking small talk like social anxiety (meaning they want to be able to talk to people but cant) or having a bad day/tired (would normally like small talk, but this is not the time).Then in your next reply, you listed personal issues and trauma, again explaining that not liking small talk is due to negatives.Then, your counter to that is that the other people who don't have those negatives are "often" arrogant, condescending, etc.You know what you forgot to list? Introverts. People with a natural personality type in which they are drained by social interaction in general and thus pick and choose when they want to interact.By excluding that, which is the largest source of people that generally dislike small talk, you're either coming off that you think that... (3)

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I know I'm a bad conversationalist, that's why I hate small talk lol (5512)

Yeah but at least i know im a bad conversationalist. Lots of these people that are just talking to talk are just as bad. There's the I did something incredibly simple people. what am I supposed to clap bc you tied your shoes? There's the I'm going to ask you a bunch of inane questions then get pissed that you don't carry the whole conversation on your back. Do you have a car, yes, 😤. There's the I can't afford a therapist so I'm going to unload my burdens on random people, people. There's the I'm going to trap employees in a conversation they can't actively disagree with or leave bc that would be rude to the customer, people. Oh and anyone who's classically bad at conversation knows it's only rude one way. when you don't care about the conversation it's rude, but when they talk over you that's just the flow of the conversation. (2)

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Strongly agree! There's so much you can learn about someone, and connect over, in seemingly "meaningless" conversation. The ability to use small talk to show that you care about the mundanity of someone's daily life, build connection, and bridge the gap between "stranger" to "friend" is an essential part of human relationships and I get that it's not easy, but I hate how people disparage it as if it is less worthy. Someone jumping into "deep" topics with me without first building a rapport via small talk so we have a better sense of each other's boundaries, conversational preferences, communication style, etc. is only going to make me feel nervous and uncomfortable!And that's coming from someone who is very introverted and has very limited social battery. What I hate is wasting my limited energy on small talk with people I dislike and don't want to build a relationship with, but that's not a problem with the small talk per se, it's a problem with the people (I'd hate to have a "deep... (1)