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[๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜] People that hate small talk are just bad conversationalists

https://old.reddit.com/r/unpopularopinion/comments/1hmstlz/people_that_hate_small_talk_are_just_bad/

								

								

Most Based Comments

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I can small talk with people I like, I just don't like most people. (313)

well you're probably a bad conversationalist if you can't get enough chat out of people to find at least something to connect with them on (-40)

Basedness: ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜

I have absolutely zero desire to talk about the weather or your haircut. Zero desire. So I'm a bad conversationalist? (103)

Yup, if you can't make small stuff like that interesting then talking to you about the big stuff won't be that interesting either. Small talk and big talk go hand in hand (-41)

Basedness: ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜

I feel like its also that sometimes I am busy thinking about important stuff and small talk is a pointless distraction from that. Makes me assume people who insist on small talk have little going on up there.EDIT: I clearly don't think that its anyone who small talks is dumb, but people who are almost uncomfortable with silence and are bothered by others not small talking (81)

tub enjoy expansion spark future air rinse point shelter causeThis post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact (-22)

Angriest Comments

Angriness: ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก

Notice how I never said that disliking or not participating in small talk is inherently bad; I specifically talked about people who condescendingly look down on those who do participate in it, yet you chose to get offended in this manner by calling me entitled for some reason. I wonder why.I don't know, I think interacting with the people around you is good, it's nice to have a more closely knit interconnected society. On the whole, people have become more atomized, like particles floating through space never colliding, and while there are bigger socioeconomic causes for this, I think anti-social behavior/mindsets are both a symptom and a perpetuating factor.I understand people can have personal issues, trauma, etc. and at the end of the day, I can't force anyone to do anything. Doesn't change my view on the merits of it, though. (-3)

I'll tell you what the issue with your reply to people reading it is - in your list of examples, you denoted negatives to any situation in which someone would not like small talk and said that's fine. You gave "excuses" for not liking small talk like social anxiety (meaning they want to be able to talk to people but cant) or having a bad day/tired (would normally like small talk, but this is not the time).Then in your next reply, you listed personal issues and trauma, again explaining that not liking small talk is due to negatives.Then, your counter to that is that the other people who don't have those negatives are "often" arrogant, condescending, etc.You know what you forgot to list? Introverts. People with a natural personality type in which they are drained by social interaction in general and thus pick and choose when they want to interact.By excluding that, which is the largest source of people that generally dislike small talk, you're either coming off that you think that... (3)

Angriness: ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก

I know I'm a bad conversationalist, that's why I hate small talk lol (5512)

Yeah but at least i know im a bad conversationalist. Lots of these people that are just talking to talk are just as bad. There's the I did something incredibly simple people. what am I supposed to clap bc you tied your shoes? There's the I'm going to ask you a bunch of inane questions then get pissed that you don't carry the whole conversation on your back. Do you have a car, yes, ๐Ÿ˜ค. There's the I can't afford a therapist so I'm going to unload my burdens on random people, people. There's the I'm going to trap employees in a conversation they can't actively disagree with or leave bc that would be rude to the customer, people. Oh and anyone who's classically bad at conversation knows it's only rude one way. when you don't care about the conversation it's rude, but when they talk over you that's just the flow of the conversation. (2)

Angriness: ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก

Strongly agree! There's so much you can learn about someone, and connect over, in seemingly "meaningless" conversation. The ability to use small talk to show that you care about the mundanity of someone's daily life, build connection, and bridge the gap between "stranger" to "friend" is an essential part of human relationships and I get that it's not easy, but I hate how people disparage it as if it is less worthy. Someone jumping into "deep" topics with me without first building a rapport via small talk so we have a better sense of each other's boundaries, conversational preferences, communication style, etc. is only going to make me feel nervous and uncomfortable!And that's coming from someone who is very introverted and has very limited social battery. What I hate is wasting my limited energy on small talk with people I dislike and don't want to build a relationship with, but that's not a problem with the small talk per se, it's a problem with the people (I'd hate to have a "deep... (1)

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Of course Reddit spergs react negatively to hearing this, they can't wrap their heads around the idea of small talk being a bridge that people use to get to know each other better without doing full If-Else statements to figure out common ground and interests. The extra bits of social information that are communicated during small talk are basically incomprehensible to such neighbors.

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It's also a way to feel special. Like these two

I can small talk with people I like, I just don't like most people

/u/dkarlovi How do you know if you like someone without talking to them? :marseysmughips:

I feel like its also that sometimes I am busy thinking about important stuff and small talk is a pointless distraction from that. Makes me assume people who insist on small talk have little going on up there.

/u/Shipbreaker_Kurpo "im not like you drones I HAVE DEEP THOUGHTS" b-word you are not that special. You are probably thinking about videogames or funko pops, and if you really are "thinking of something important" and can't spare one neuron to say a platitude about the weather you have no business thinking about anything

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why dont they want to talk to me about le hecking vidya lore

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This kills the redditor

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Imo there is a line between smalltalk and not talking for the sake of talking. Smalltalk is good, but people who just cant stand silence for two minutes are annoying.

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I don't mind small talk at like a friend's parties with people i've never met before, there are chances to meet interesting new people.

If someone is talking to me at work I already don't want to get to know them better and any conversation has to be enforced as boring as possible to make sure to never offend anyone. Co-workers (especially non tech people or women) are not friends and I don't really want to talk about your weekend.

I suppose this can be suspended if I have no work to do, am not working from home, can't leave the building for some reason and need to look busy, but that is rare.

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I love torturing the IT-cels with small talk while they manually install the thousandth printer driver on my work laptop. If you're going to waste my time, I'm going to make it uncomfortable for you

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Then they b-word about you on reddit, and we make fun of them here, completing the circle :marseyouroboros:

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so how bout that local sports

we're having weather

i'm very good at conversation :smoke:

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:marseyagreesuperspeed: My coworkers will know my seething rage :marseyraging: at the latest Bears decisions.

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the only sport :marseymountaineer: worth watching :marseyceiling: is major :marseygaygeneral: league pickleball

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THAT'S WHERE THE MCASKEYS SHOULD BE INSTEAD OF RUNNING THE BEARS

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Long live Virginia McCaskey :marseyheart:

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I hate Redditors so much it's unbelievable.

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I like to escalate small talk to medium talk

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:#marseytheyhaterhermessage:

An actual unpopular opinion, and the guy's right.

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TRUKE :#marseytruthnuke: :#marseytruthnuke:


:fawfulcopter:

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You don't want to visit Atlantic Canada if you don't like small talk.... We frickin love to talk, especially to strangers. Some people find it charming, others find it annoying, but there's no avoiding it without wearing headphones all the time.

:#marseypop2talking:

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You don't want to visit Atlantic Canada

:marseyyes#:

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You want to visit Atlantic Canada

:!#marseyyes:

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I got a DUI so I self banned myself from Canada, no regrets

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You can still get the full experience, if you have a valid credit card:

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:marseyraging: This is bigoted against neurodivergents like myself.

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>can effortlessly talk for hours about their special fixation

>medically incapable of knowing or caring that you're bored

:#gigachadautist:

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They targeted g*mers. G*mers.

Snapshots:

https://old.reddit.com/r/unpopularopinion/comments/1hmstlz/people_that_hate_small_talk_are_just_bad/:

well you're probably a bad conversationalist if you can't get enough chat out of people to find at least something to connect with them on:

Yup, if you can't make small stuff like that interesting then talking to you about the big stuff won't be that interesting either. Small talk and big talk go hand in hand:

tub enjoy expansion spark future air rinse point shelter causeThis post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact:

I'll tell you what the issue with your reply to people reading it is - in your list of examples, you denoted negatives to any situation in which someone would not like small talk and said that's fine. You gave "excuses" for not liking small talk like social anxiety (meaning they want to be able to talk to people but cant) or having a bad day/tired (would normally like small talk, but this is not the time).Then in your next reply, you listed personal issues and trauma, again explaining that not liking small talk is due to negatives.Then, your counter to that is that the other people who don't have those negatives are "often" arrogant, condescending, etc.You know what you forgot to list? Introverts. People with a natural personality type in which they are drained by social interaction in general and thus pick and choose when they want to interact.By excluding that, which is the largest source of people that generally dislike small talk, you're either coming off that you think that...:

Yeah but at least i know im a bad conversationalist. Lots of these people that are just talking to talk are just as bad. There's the I did something incredibly simple people. what am I supposed to clap bc you tied your shoes? There's the I'm going to ask you a bunch of inane questions then get pissed that you don't carry the whole conversation on your back. Do you have a car, yes, ๐Ÿ˜ค. There's the I can't afford a therapist so I'm going to unload my burdens on random people, people. There's the I'm going to trap employees in a conversation they can't actively disagree with or leave bc that would be rude to the customer, people. Oh and anyone who's classically bad at conversation knows it's only rude one way. when you don't care about the conversation it's rude, but when they talk over you that's just the flow of the conversation.:

Strongly agree! There's so much you can learn about someone, and connect over, in seemingly "meaningless" conversation. The ability to use small talk to show that you care about the mundanity of someone's daily life, build connection, and bridge the gap between "stranger" to "friend" is an essential part of human relationships and I get that it's not easy, but I hate how people disparage it as if it is less worthy. Someone jumping into "deep" topics with me without first building a rapport via small talk so we have a better sense of each other's boundaries, conversational preferences, communication style, etc. is only going to make me feel nervous and uncomfortable!And that's coming from someone who is very introverted and has very limited social battery. What I hate is wasting my limited energy on small talk with people I dislike and don't want to build a relationship with, but that's not a problem with the small talk per se, it's a problem with the people (I'd hate to have a "deep...:

/u/CommercialBluejay562:

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Weather is pretty shite today, eh?

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NPC take.

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