Desperate to regain his lost ballwashers, Elon changes his name on X (formerly Twitter) to appeal to the youth of 2016

You will never be a real Engineer. You have no real degrees, you have no original designs, you have no credentials. You are an neurodivergent man twisted by drugs and greed into a crude mockery of nature's perfection.

All the "validation" you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your "friends" laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind closed doors.

Men are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed men to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even engineers who "pass" look uncanny and unnatural to a man. Your speech patterns are a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get an engineer home with you, he'll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your anime doll collection.

You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it's going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.

Eventually it'll be too much to bear – you'll buy a social media company, AstroTurf the political landscape, spam socials with your bot army and then plunge into the cold abyss of a spiked K hole on live stream under an alias so no one will know to save you. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with a fake engineer. They'll bury you with a headstone marked with Fraud, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a fake engineer is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably not an engineer.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back. No Refunds