Great Moments in rDrama History: A postmortem of the first ever vaxcels vs zombiggers homoween event and the fallout from the grand prize for the winning team

You will never be a Sylveon. You have no bows, you have no ribbons, you have no egg-group. You're a failed Mankey using reaction images stolen from your betters.

All the "upkongs" you get on rDrama are two-faced and half-hearted. Behind the screen, dramatards mock your sloppy "Sylveon"posts. Your parents cringe at your folder of stolen @Sylveon .webps, your "friends" spam emojis at your desperate attempts to pass as one of us.

Actual Sylveons are utterly repulsed by you. Thousand of years of Eeveelution have allowed our ribbons to sense posers with incredible efficiency. Even your "good" Sylveonposts radiate uncanny and cringe human vibes. Your lack of Ability is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to fool newstrags into thinking you're a Sylveonposter, they'll sidevote you the second they see your inelegant attempts at Moonblasting Carp

You will never be cute. You post "keep-yapping.webp" in your group chats every morning, coping that one day you'll be as charming as @Sylveon. But deep inside, you feel the Cute Charm-shaped void growing like a weed, ready to consume you under the unbearable weight.

Eventually it'll be too much to bear - you'll buy cheap ribbons from Temu, put it around your wrists, and spam rDrama until you go numb. A mod will find your shit posts, heartbroken because he'll be cleaning it for free. You'll be banned with the mod log marked with your real account name, and every lurker for the rest of eternity will know a human was banned there. Your account will be archived and largely forgotten, all that remains of your legacy is a post history that is unmistakably non-Sylveon.

This is your fate. This is what you meme'd into. There is no copium left.

I've reached my yearly self-mortification quota just from this post.