I only charged my bf 1/3 and he cooked some delicious food in exchange for me just dealing with utilities.

The deleted post:

My (27M) girlfriend (25F) moved into my condo about four months ago, and things have been rocky ever since. For context, I bought this condo five years ago, well before we started dating, and I pay the mortgage, HOA fees, property taxes, and all the maintenance costs myself.

When she moved in, we agreed she'd pay me "rent" since she'd obviously be living here and using everything. I set the amount at $1,200, which is about half of what a one-bedroom in our area costs and significantly less than what she was paying before (she was in a studio paying $1,800). I thought this was incredibly fair since she's getting a larger place and doesn't have to worry about maintenance, property tax, or anything.

However, she got upset, saying that since this is my place and I built equity, she shouldn't have to "pay my mortgage for me." I countered that she's not paying my mortgage - she's paying rent to live here, just like she would anywhere else. She argued that if we were renting an apartment together, we'd be splitting the rent 50/50, but since it's my condo, she's "just helping me out financially while getting no benefit." I said her benefit is having a nicer place for cheaper than she was paying before.

She suggested instead that she just split utilities, groceries, and household expenses, but I told her that's not fair to me because I still have to cover all the mortgage, HOA, and property taxes on my own. If we were renting a place together, she wouldn't just be paying for utilities.

Now she's been passive-aggressive about it - making comments like, "Must be nice having someone else pay your mortgage" and "I guess I'm just a tenant, not your partner." She even stopped inviting friends over because she says she feels like a guest in her own home.

I feel like I'm being reasonable, but she's making me feel like a greedy landlord. AITAH?

Should Autodrama be set to exclude fiction subs like /r/AITAH? Dramatards can't help but keep falling for it.

Even in cold hard financial terms, defining an even split in a case like this is legitimately a shitshow. Why should he let her live there for free? Why should she pay for his mortgage without getting equity? Why should she get equity without assuming risk and contributing capital/liquidity? It's pretty clear she should pay more than $0, but how much? Does she even want to buy/rent that much house? Married couples bicker over this lmao.

Then you get into how irrational and emotional moids and foids get when trying to think about money and you get dumb shit like "how about we just split groceries/utilities" etc. Thus, none of this matters, it just has to feel fair to both of you, and if you can't agree on fair, the relationship probably isn't going to work out anyway.

What continues to amaze me about the absolute state of Reddit is that the comments engage with none of this, and not only hate the guy and can't explain why, they do it so strongly. If he charges her rent, he's being a butthole, if he lets her live there for free, he's an exploitative male feminist ally, etc. I'm amazed there aren't any of those "Entitled butthole!" low effort comments that make zero sense I usually see on these posts.

(I assure you I am not assuming she would do anything bad, just basing that on so many other similar stories that have been posted here about this kind of thing)

sometimes its nice to be reminded that there are people out there whose only experience with relationships is reading /r/AITA

I pay bills but I also get home cooked food for every meal and haven't cleaned my own laundry in like 6 months shits cash tbh

I agree with top comment but instead of giving her a choice he should say "you agreed to 50/50 no take backs" before he shows her the total cost

OOP is an r-slur (although the story is fake). Realistically, if they're moving in together as a relationship progression and not simply for his or her financial convenience, he should be treating it as a shared asset that they both own and fund (ie her name gets put on the deed). Alternatively she's right and she should really only be paying towards costs her presence incurs (utilities and bills). You can't pick and choose from your favourite aspects of bf/gf relationship and landlord/tenant relationship to create the ultimate benefit to yourself

This bot needs to have the original post in the text in case of deletion

@avean, I don't know who to tell

Snapshots:

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1indzg0/aitah_for_refusing_to_split_rent_evenly_with_my/:

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She needs to dump you & move out. You're treating her like a roommate/tenant & not someone you're romantically involved in. Hope you don't expect s*x from her while she's subsidizing your income. You're her roommate now.:

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