As a renowned expert on asian peoples, I was asked by user @MommyIssues to compile a ranking of them. I believe I’m uniquely qualified to do so because I was AMAB (assigned mayo at birth) and only discovered my trans-Korean identity after carefully considering which kind of asian resonated with me the most. I’ll be dividing asians into two categories based on the system of racial categorization that I found in a book from the 1940s. There are your yellow oriental types, sometimes called “ricecels” in broad terms. And then there is what was once called a “brown” or “Malay” race, but I’ll follow the lead of my colleague @HardIsLife and refer to them as “jungle asians”. Comparing them is a bit like apples and oranges so I’ll rank them separately.
YELLOW ASIANS
Korean (South)
The pinnacle of human excellence. Their achievements in traditional clothing, soap operas, cute facial expressions on reality TV shows, and killing communists are well known. Even their trashiest forms of entertainment like k-pop are still better than the rest of the world can aspire to. – S
Dae Jang Geum, physician
Korean (North)
Psycho commies but still incredibly based. The most creative terrorists of the world. Lacking in k-drama production but the Moranbong Band is good and maybe they’ll nuke Japan someday. – A
Kim Yo Jong, statesman
Chinese (Singapore)
The refined and civilized people of one of the world’s best-run societies. Their justice system can only be described as based. They get bumped up an extra grade for producing @X (formerly chiobu). – A
some random person from Singapore who I found on google
Chinese (SE Asia Diaspora)
Ethnic Chinese living in Indonesia, the Philippines, etc. have quite a high level of culture and sophistication. – B
Michelle Yeoh, actor
Chinese (Hong Kong)
Decent quality Chinese. All of them know kung fu and can dual-wield pistols. – C
Tequila, police officer
Chinese (Taiwan)
Good at making things. - C
Joanne Tseng, some kind of celebrity
Chinese (Mainland)
If you could buy asian people at a store, this is the kind they would sell at Walmart. They’re rude, pushy, argumentative, mindlessly violent, and if they get their hands on money they’re more tacky and gauche than a cashed-up bogan. – D to F (depending on the province)
unknown boy, subway defecator
JUNGLE ASIANS
Filipino
Indescribably based. The men are masters of chopping up jungles and people with their bolos, blowing away gangsters with their 1911s, and sailing ships. The women are really hot and jealous psychos. They can speak English better than anyone in England. It’s the home of Jolibee. – S
Fernando Po Jr., gigachad
Cambodian
Very cool people. An old Cambodian lady told me I should go there and marry one. Not a bad idea. - A
some random Cambodian dude
Vietnamese
They’re probably pretty cool but I don’t know any so I’m going to penalize them by one grade for that. - B
ARVN Marines, Quang Tri Province, 1972
Thai
They like to marry Swedish guys and then when he turns out to be an alcoholic they beat him up while he’s drunk. Somewhat based, but I’d rather be femdommed by a pinay. - B
His Majesty, King Vajiralongkorn of Thailand
Malay
Think they’re on the same level as Singapore but it’s just a cope. - C
some random Malaysians
Indonesian
Think they’re on the same level as Malaysia but it’s just a cope. I really like rendang though. - C
some Indonesian guy who is probably a politician
OTHER ASIANS
- Mongol - Used to be based, but I think they just watch TV all day and get fat now? I dunno.
- Manchurian - Like Chinese (Mainland) but more violent.
- Laotian/Hmong - I wasn’t in MACV SOG so I don’t know anything about these people.
- Myanmar -I don’t even know wtf is going on in this place.
NON-ASIANS
Indian
Give me a break. A brown mayo is still a mayo.
Mohammed Iqbal, political thinker
Japanese
Clearly not asian since one of the distinguishing characteristics of asians is an intense hatred of Japan. They are in fact a cursed race of dwarf pirates. Although fierce, they are pretty useless in the long run as they are crippled by their overwhelming desire to be perverts.
Shoko Asahara, religious leader
Asian-Americans
If you identify as “Asian-American” then your identity is based on how mayos perceive you. If you care that much about mayos, please visit the nearest asian supermarket and turn in your asian card so it can be cancelled.
Constance Wu, activist and white peepee connoisseur
CONCLUSION
I hope you found this presentation informative. Remember that there are no hard and fast rules here. The rankings may change at any time for a number of reasons. Like maybe I’ll see a movie with a really badass gunfight or I’ll see some really hot chick. There’s always room for your people to improve.
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Great list, but you forgot about West Asians (aka best Asians)
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You're your own thing, you gotta lean into Arabian Nights and djinn and that kind of stereotypes.
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I used to work with a bunch of Filipinas and we all agreed that rice is life, so we can't be that different
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You are a wheat person by ancestry. Please stop this cope, you don't fit in with the rice Asians.
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I EAT RICE EVERYDAY, DELETE THIS
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you are from two completely separate inventions of civilization; you will never be a ricecel.
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You will never be a real "ricecel". You have no monlids, you have no black hair, you have no Asian parents. You are an Iranian woman twisted by drugs and degeneracy into a cruel mockery of nature's perfection.
All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your ghoulish (mayo ) appearance behind closed doors.
Men are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed men to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even transracial mayos who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a man. Your skin color and eyes are a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a guy home with you while wearing your niqab, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he catches a glimpse of your pale, sickly skin.
You will never be happy. You wrench out fake happiness in every single comment and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment of a mayo ciscum child. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked "fartbinn", and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a mayo dramanaut (legacy) is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably wh*te.
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i get what you are going for but i'd like a trigger warning for this copypasta next time?
not to be pushy or rude or anything, but yeah
funny edit but u can tell who the original was meant for and it's still toxic af >_<
edit: this site is not normally so hostile to transwomen. Did we get noobs from reddit or something?
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Goals tbh
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Have you owned the libs yet?
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🚨Bard bot alert!🚨
Reset the counter. Current counter was: 0 days, 3 hours, 45 minutes
Record is 0 days, 21 hours
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Ew you're brown?
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In every way besides my appearance!
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how can anyone tell what you look like under the trashbag
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work with, slave-drive, what's the difference
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also central asians. shit list tbh
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I had to stop at some point because I couldn't think of appropriate pictures for half the countries.
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You could have just used a picture of a Mongol with a fake mustache and it would have worked for the centasians.
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You mean mayos?
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