https://crumplab.com/articles/blog/post_994_5_26_22_cheating/index.html This is the tale of a University Professor who must be a goddarn boomer or something, idk. It's hard for me to see someone with the programming chops to do all the data collection, analysis, and automation of penalties/forms be such a goddarn idiot who not only thought his students weren't cheating before, wouldn't go on a snitch hunt when the cheating is revealed, and also unironically believed they would stop cheating once he asked them to.
The highlight of the story for me is in part 5 when he asks people to write an apology letter saying they won't cheat anymore. One fricking idiot copy-pasta's an apology they found online. They literally tried to cheat on the "sorry for cheating, I won't do it again" essay. The professor emails them back a link of where they plagiarized their apology from, and the student writes back "no, I actually stole it from this other site.
The tweet for some reactions: https://twitter.com/MattCrumpLab/status/1529896172231458816
As one Twitter User summarizes: "It reads like the university pedagogy equivalent of the world's greatest detective who also happens to be the world's most credulous probation officer." https://twitter.com/RogueWPA/status/1531700754846654466
Others tie it to the collapse of University standards over the last half a century: https://twitter.com/kitten_beloved/status/1531406440816029696 Following that thread leads to some juicy takes like https://twitter.com/MrGeorgeFrancis/status/1528352527397314561 and his blogpost https://georgefrancis.substack.com/p/imposter-syndrome-is-among-us?sd=fs&s=r That post includes this hilarious tweet, with the quote "Responses to the tweet were in denial and can be characterised by the internet jargon ‘seethe and cope’":
It’s so funny when I read academics (women) write about “imposter syndrome.” I had the exact opposite feeling, like I was the only insightful and serious person and everyone else was doing fake stuff. Seems like the imposter syndrome people should trust their instincts. https://twitter.com/RichardHanania/status/1527689272119070720
Another thing teaching related if you're in the mood for more WORDS WORDS WORDS: I managed to track down a mysterious memoir that had been mostly-purged from the respectable part of the internet, hunting down a ghost from @collectijism 's memories https://rdrama.net/post/25729/someone-get-me-out-of-this/2004316?context=8#context leading to https://degalantha.livejournal.com/4575.html which is the "lived experience" of a public school teacher who taught mostly black kids and came away with the impression that they're all irredeemably dumb as bricks, and he's tired of pretending they're not. One thing that amuses me about this sort of stuff, besides the Lee Jussim angle of "ok, but stereotype accuracy is real", is that I actually have no idea if people are reasonably good at gauging the intelligence of the people around them. I've been safely cordoned off from normies for most of my life thanks to the gifted programs of public schools, and it was always a shock when I interacted with dumber people, but I think I stopped interacting with dumb people irl for at least 12 years now, besides the most minimal stuff like buying groceries. I feel like it's pretty easy to tell within an hour-long conversation with someone if they're dumb, but I'm not sure how accurate that actually is, because we don't all walk around with our IQ's tattooed on our heads. I feel like I wouldn't even know where to meet a dumb person. Despite all the shit you can talk about redditors or tweeters, or whatever, they're all still self-selected to be the kinds of people who can read and write at an 8th grade level, meaning they're above the 50th percentile of the US: https://www.wyliecomm.com/2021/08/whats-the-latest-u-s-literacy-rate/ . Dumb people are likely completely invisible to me. I am very curious on if any of the education academics that think the issue is sociocultural differences that impede black performance are like me: totally bubbled off, and therefore completely unable to tell if a post like this is a horrible "racist screed against black students" or "literally just how it is, and likely will be for a long time".
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Seems like a great opportunity to share the good ol' drama of the professor catching some kids who got ahold of an old exam and made too good of grades so the whole class had to retake it. Dumb butt boomer was too lazy to change his exam and blamed the students then pulled some BS that he knew exactly who did it. Worst part is some of the dumb kids actually turned themselves in. In my university, all the frats had copies of old tests to study with, if you're too lazy to change up your exam, nobody to blame but yourself for being a lazy c*nt. Kids don't pay 8k+ a semester to have a lazy professor copy + paste an exam, consider yourself SCHOOLED buckaroo. Deal with it
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Excellent post, from one STEMcel to another.
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I'm still impressed this exists
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Dude keeps trying to justify himself saying he isn't a cop and he's so empathetic but we went to great lengths to essentially entrap his students. Which was easy considering how stupid they were.
He's a psychology professor at CUNY, which explains a lot. His class was boring as shit and the students at CUNY are especially braindead.
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I had to deal with one a few years ago and I'm still scarred from the experience. Fricker got angry with me because I assumed he could read.
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I went on rdrama.net hoping to show them that LGBT people aren't all the wholesome kinds of people they see them as. After months of reading their documentation based on actual digital footprints, I realize they are right about a huge number of them. It's very depressing.
Snapshots:
archive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
ghostarchive.org (click to archive)
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I have to interact with dumb boons on a daily basis. To put in to perspective how dumb they are their foot can be literally black and rotting off and they don’t understand that it is in fact not healthy. People will be literally missing a kidney and when I ask if they had surgery before they say no, when I ask them about the scar they say oh that ya I had something done a few years ago. Boons are so dumb that at least weekly I encounter one that is missing an organ and either does not even remember it was taken out or if they remember the surgery don’t remember what organ they are missing
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I had previously thought that IT people had the best "dumb people" stories, but now that you bring it up, I guess it has to be doctors/nurses/pharmacists. The bar for IT concerns are that things you buy don't work quite right and you care enough to try to fix it. The bar for health concerns is "be alive, at least for now" which is much lower. My guess is the pharmacists get the worst of it because they're experty-seeming people that are in the same place where you buy your food, so you might as well see if they think you should get that foot taken care of, or if you can put it off for a few weeks and it'll magically get better, just like your car's check-engine light.
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Lol the pharmacist probably have stories of how stupid I am. I’ve become lazy with age and just make them dose all my meds. It’s essentially the “clean it up Janny” of medicine. And for whatever reason even smart people will put off serious health issues, they just ignore it until they are literally dying, it’s sad in a way but I even do the same thing myself. The shit I’ve seen at some small poor community hospitals is absolutely wild though, it’s like a time capsule to the 60s in terms of medical pathologies
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Of course people are going to cheat to get a degree you dumb b-word. To these people don't give a FRICK about learning or whatever they need money and to get that money they need the paper you are standing in the way of. You should be happy they aren't blackmailing you.
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there weren't enough gifs in the article to hold my attention
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This dude needs to have s*x badly. I hate academics.
TS; DR: Sorry shithead college students cheated in your throwaway online class on literally infinite repeat quizzes. Wasn’t aware a question-bank (studying 101) is cheating now, but then again professors need more ways to justify never making new content in their classes. Dude clearly put more effort into writing this and reporting people than actually teaching the class lol.
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Healthcare workers are often drug-tested, so I’d imagine he has to stay away from the grass.
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You meet them here. The fact that you don't realize that means you're dumb.
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I truly believe that the people here are almost exclusively above average intelligence. My leading hypothesis for why we all waste our time in counterproductive and unhealthy ways is a lack of other sources for community and reciprocal social value, and i also assume mental health issues like depression, autism, and ADHD are involved.
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If you can't solve a third order differential in your head, you are not only stupid, you are still a fetus and your parents should still be able to abort you.
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OP, I've read the story. This is what happens when a school has bottom of the barrel students. It's not just black; it's more low IQ, poor, too many crappy parent(s), and horrendous administration. Some people respond better to corporeal punishment, so if they want to teach them, they have to enforce rules in that manner. Obviously, the idpoltards will thrash their teeth, so this solution will be tossed away. There goes the kids' chances at self-development, but so long as good feelings matter, then all is "well."
The cycle continues...
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This is when you punish one of those energy cloud creatures from Star Trek TOS by forcing it assume a corporeal form and then whacking it with a ruler.
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Reported for watching too much sci-fi.
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I'm trying to enjoy it but the writing is so heavy handed and the gif inserts are so teen girl tumblr
also the writer is insufferable with the constant "maybe they're not that bad, maybe they have shit going on in their life, I'm not the police, I don't want to see any lives ruined" is infuriating.
good find OP, this is great reading
The time has come for the Necromaster. The unleashing of the fourth joker's card. The arrival of The Great Milenko
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When I was a TA I used to go over the exact essay questions I knew would be on the midterm (basically cheating for them) and half the students would still fail or get a low passing grade. If they're cheating and actually getting the right answer I'd just say that's a win and move on.
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I felt bad for my calc professors because we would spend an entire class going over a certain kind of problem, they'd give a few winks that it might be important to know for the test, then it was the exact same problem on the test with a couple of numbers changed. Half the class would fail, and we'd spend another full class going over the solution. What a fricking nightmare that would be, spending three full classes on a single problem year after year and constantly getting shitty reviews about how your class is too hard or you "can't teach".
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I lost my faith in the entire education when I started noticing this in high school honestly. A teacher would say like "light bounces of an object at the same angle at which it hits mirrored over the center" and would then have to review this point almost every single day for weeks because some r-slur would inevitably get confused again.
Mixed classes have to be causing untold amounts of damage to our performance on the global scale.
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Based Students.
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Online "learning" just doesn't work. That's the one thing that isn't his fault here.
You have to write the test questions yourself and administer them in person. The responses need to be short answer or fill in the blank at the very least, not multiple choice. That doesn't accurately test knowledge of the course, at all. Every teacher/professor knows this, and if you ever receive a multiple choice question on an exam/quiz, know that those questions are solely there as a grade booster. Multiple choice questions on an online exam that are recycled from quizzes during the semester is just completely laughable.
This guy is totally embarrassing. His tests were lazy, his "second syllabus" bullshit was a copout because he didn't have the balls to punish students, and I'm sure his students are still rampantly cheating to this day. Fricking loser.
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The way to stop cheating is not to reform the student, just make it actually costly and give prosecutors some teeth. How fricking naive can you be?
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Unironically the only way to get caught cheating in university was to be extremely r-slurred about it. I've cheated throughout university and I've easily excelled on the job site. The same can be said for all of my friends as well. Anyone thinking that most cheaters suffer any consequences is 100% coping. It doesn't help that most professors give out the same test questions that they do every year and have kindergarten-level defenses against cheating which just makes it all the more easier.
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My valedictorian and salutorian were the biggest cheaters and everyone knew it - open secret. The best cheaters seem to end up as the more successful people in life.
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Our class is very heavy on programming. We see a frickton of suspicious assignments.
Which is why we set up several honeypot repos
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Does that even work? Ive always wondered if those code tools can actually detect plagiarism.
For school assignments the code is so simple it seems like there arent many different ways to arrive at the right answer.
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Our assignments are way more complex. Two incremental projects throughout the semester, each one ends up around 1500 lines of from-scratch machine learning. Certainly nothing cutting-edge, obviously, but I honestly think it's possibly the hardest class in our engineer college. Our drop rate is over 50%
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I was very surprised that I didn't fail my parallel and distributed computing class while I was in my "drink anime and watch booze" phase, but I think it was because the professor of my class wanted to guzzle down the grant dollars of my research professor, and my final was to try and parallelize my research professor's code, which I did poorly and only provided graphs of how performance changed when using more cores of my shit-top's processor vs using the supercomputer cluster we were supposed to reserve time on and use a month in advance of the final's due-date. I wonder if they ever met up for their wildest computing/research fantasies.
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I've always imagined that catching the absolute r-slurs that try this stuff would be the only redeeming point of academia but every time I've seen it happen the school interferes because they dont want to lose a bunch of rich kids paying full tuition and the hit to their reputation
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By now I think my advisor has a fetish for making students cry in his office
I once caught a cheating ring because I spent three hours pinning down a bug in one person's code, then saw the same exact bug in three other submissions
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I grade assignments for an Intro CS Class. (tutor gang)
I’ve seen so many people cheat but they don’t pay me enough to care.
As long as the variables aren’t the exact same I usually let it slide.
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Im deathly afraid of this where some guy at the study session says "oh I think ive got it" and helps teach it to everyone and it turns out he just chegged it and didn't tell anyone.
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At least in our case we tell them showing anybody else code is fair game for receiving a 0
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Yeah direct code is a little different, I'm thinking like a math problem where someone pulls out some weirdo shortcut I guess
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Normal TAs won't catch that. We have 25 students and 4 20-hour TAs because grading one student's weekly submission takes like 3 hours on average
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I was always super impressed by the TA workload in the CS classes I did have. When the big projects came around they always sat down with you wand walked you through every point of the rubric and hand you demonstrate it, justify/defend it, and then took that into account when putting down the score if you obviously knew what you were talking about. Way above and beyond what i got from any other subject
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My dirty secret is that I don't even run the code, I just stare at it for a few hours
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I gave up pretty early with the reading but kept scrolling because of the memes. I think I got the gist of it.
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Still reading but first comment:
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When I was taking online classes for covid all my profs thought that blackboard would notify them if a student opened a new tab while taking a test. It didn't so they would just watch blank faces over zoom as students were typing quiz questions to a new tab and reading the answer.
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isn't it easier to study?
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Nah class is a waste the exams are just trick questions and the instructors literally assigns asymmetric testbook readings from the shittiest ebook in existence. That’s why everyone cheats (literally 70+%) and it’s not like I don’t know the content it’s just graded harshly cause it’s a prereq
For the record I did study harder than most in the class and this is just ensuring that actually pays off for an A. I feel it is just fruits for the labor given most people cheat for their grade after no work.
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Imagine having to cheat. I never attended lectures or read text books. Still aced the tests cause STEM is intuitive unless you’re an absolute r-slur.
!blackjack105
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This was for business
I’m a math major
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