It looks like somebody attempted to make one of those teen adventure movies from the 2000s but somehow did a shit job of it.
Like somebody made one of those "the Rock" family adventure movies but did a shit job of it.
This looks so bad that the generic adventure music used in the trailer is better than the trailer itself and you can tell.
I can only see some teenagers coming in to watch the movie because they thought the Emma Myers actress looked cute but then still giving up on the movie halfway.
Also wtf 
how does that 22 year old foid have that clean baby face skin? That's literal zero damage child skin on her face. Is that a new filter or has skincare really come far enough to make the next generation of foids look like 12 year old faces when they get to 22?
Trailer has been up for about 10 hours now and on IGN has had around 22,000 views so far so you know its bad.
Conclusion:
Movie looks trash and Jake Black looks like he is out of time and belongs back in the 2000s and 2010s and feels out of place in the 2020s. Jason Mamoa looks like somebody looked at everything that he is liked for then did everything to take all that away. The foid looks like a child enough to creep me out, but good on her she will look great when she is 30-35 and still looking like early 20s. The moid lad looks like generic moid lad. Big Black foid looks too big and silly.
This movie is a guaranteed flop. 2/10. The kids will turn the TV off.
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Sadly I think it will hit a billion no matter how bad the movie is. Too many millennial man children out there
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More like to many actual children
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Also literal children who will beg their parents to see this movie
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Dropped the kids at the movies so I can goon on some Bitney Spears deepfake porn
Nooo your literally supporting samoan trains and feminist nogfoids in my g*merverse. Videogames are sacred.
#DEI #G*MERGATE #BOYCOTTDISNEY
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I disagree. If Ant Man Quantumania and Avengers New world order and the Eternals could flop then so could this.
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This is targeted at actual children instead of manchildren. Gonna clear 800mil easy.
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!kino wasn't the emoji movie still a commercial success due to third-world children watching it, despite its overwhwelmingly negative critical reception?
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There should be a charity to release mosquitos with malaria in the third world to stop them ruining kino.
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isnt bill gates doing that already...
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He should do it harder.
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doubt.
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I dont think meinkraft is that big with millenial man-children, is it? Theyre usually stuck with 90s childhood shit, minecart came too late for them i think. Its main audience is still mostly actual children or teens, no?
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Beta Minecraft was big with younger millenials circa 2011. I think it was mostly a casual toy for nerdy young adults before the rise of streaming culture and the unstoppable march of time aged (most of) that audience out and pulled in the actual children.
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I'm from the '90s and I've never played it, I've always associated it with zoomers
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A person who came out when team fortress two released is like 18 years old. Early zoom zooms are the modern man children. They're going to be attracted to this like moths to a s*** flame
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and libertarians...
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Nah young kids today are playing fortnite. It's the Reddit demographic that's playing Minecraft
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I can't get over the clothes they are wearing, they look like gay hobos
I don't care how good or bad is the movie I can't take the characters seriously when dressed like that 
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Its like Jake black clothing and Jake black clothing if he was white and gay and Jake black clothing if he was a black woman and fat.
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So jack black clothing?
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The mob models are disgusting, it looks terrible.
Also the Nether being main threat sets up the End being a threat in the sequel. I would say mark my words, but I hope we don't get a sequel.
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lol with how trash this looks and the level of engagement I am confident this ones not getting a sequel.
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Uuum but sweaty, in the trailer you can see them using elytra, but how can they use them if they haven't been to the End yet? Checkmate, chud.
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Every Hollywood film has to hint at a sequel in case it's successful. They'll make 15 Minecraft films if they can.
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A part of me still wants to love jack black but he needs to take a break for 2 years minimum before I can go back to saying I like him. He's in too much, especially kids movies and cartoons. Him and that Keegan Micheal Key guy are both so overexposed right now and it's a shame because they are both talented but it's too much. I'm so sick of hearing that Keegan guy voice every comic relief in every big hollywood cartoon movie or seeing him do middling work in lame commercials because I know he can do much better and be far more entertaining. There's nothing more depressing than seeing someone who can do great just do ok or bad.
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How is Keegan overexposed? Maybe I missed it.
Being bad while believing you could be great.
I don't think the problem with Jack Black is overexposure but rather that Jack Black's movie personality belongs to an era that has passed.
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I miss the 2000's
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I do not.
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Leaked footage!
!commenters
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Didnt watch it with sound, but even so I can tell that however much that dude was bullied, it wasnt nearly enough.
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I'm pretty sure they erased Notch from the existence of Minecraft.
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It should have just been a straight up animated movie. The character designs are horrible.
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animated movie wouldn't have sold enough copies for studios to care. Just look at Transformers One which is kino and it still didn't do good enough at the box office.
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Mario did over a billion
Transformers is also a boomer franchise. It doesn't exist as far as children are concerned.
It also looks like it was made on a tv budget.
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It was a good movie.
Agree on boomer franchise.
Mario would also be a boomer franchise though.
How did mario make a billion?
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The trailers were kino doe
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I like her in Wednesday and that godawful Christmas film with Jennifer Garner. She definitely has pores in that, they've just airbrushed the shit out of her here
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I hope when you lie in a hospital bed dying of aids, you think back to the time you posted that sentence on the internet, and then die in agony and despair.
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lol
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Seconded.
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that makes sense. Thanks.
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Oh that's why she looks familiar, she's Enid right?
Watching Wicked and an entire act was basically the Enid vs Wednesday cohabitation episode
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That's exactly what I thought too! I think Enid is great.
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Finally, some Kino
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My neighbor never heard of makeup and filters
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In this case its actually Hollywood child sacrifice/adrenochrome
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I thought jack black was the only human in that clip?
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What? I think the challenge for a minecraft movie is the same thing that makes it so good as a game. Its super simple design with complexity built into the mechanics.
They should have done a lego with a child pretending to live in the minecraft world while his dad calls him gay for liking video games, and over time as the minecraft character goes through his adventure his dad joins his kids minecraft server and helps save the day and realizes that his kid isn't gay for playing video games and to let children have fun.
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this sounds like your posts from last weekend
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What post from last weekend?
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They should have filmed it in Minecraft
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What?
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Instead of making a fake Minecraft with Hollywood CGI they should have used actual Minecraft
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How would that work?
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Film crew builds a rectangular frame of 1 meter obsidian blocks, 4m wide and 5m high. Then they light a fire inside it, and go through the resulting portal to film in Minecraft.
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k
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Why is Kal Drogo dressed as a
statutory male feministyoutuber?Jump in the discussion.
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They just had to slip in a fat black chick didn't they
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Who's gonna note how crazy these white folks are, exclaim aw heck no when things get out of hand, and show off her obesity strength when pushed too far.
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that mgmt edit wtf
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What?
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Jason has been buckbroken.
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Elaborate. I don't know this type of movie and Im not going to watch this trailer either.
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Journey to the center of the Earth
Zathura
Bridge to Terabithia
The spiderwick chronicles
Pretty much any movie with teenage kids or adult roleplaying as teenage kid in the cast.
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This might finally kill Minecraft for gen alpha
Nah brah that cringe smh no cap we're on Roblox instead unc 💀💀💀
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Fr fr bussin that Roblox can get me in connect with a child abuser way faster than that choogy Minecraft cruft no cap.
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Emma is very cute, would protect.
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Women don't exist to please you. You do what you want, I'll do what I want. If I wanna go get tattoos, I'm going to whether you like it or not. Some of the sweetest and sexiest ladies I've met have full sleeves on both arms. If you dont like women with tattoos, then don't date a woman with tattoos. I don't see why this is such a big deal to people.
Snapshots:
:ghostarchive.org
archive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
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