!hatewatchers

This is why Disney is about to lose $300MM… pic.twitter.com/0I9VCW4OFe

— David Santa Carla 🦇 (@TheOnlyDSC) March 18, 2025

b-word should have been in the live remake of beauty in the beast instead

She did another jump in this scene. Turns out that James Earl Jones's definition of "beautiful" is pretty broad. Anyway, tits out at 2.41...

She actually does the jump in this part- it's a bit naff but at least there's tits...

https://old.reddit.com/r/WetlanderHumor/comments/1jdq30w/comment/mice731/?context=8

i think these two are lying about having watched classic who pic.twitter.com/NvSDKAE966

— eleni 🫧 (@jimkirkfacts) March 15, 2025

Joe Russo Says Harvey Weinstein 'Vilified Mainstream Movies' and Kept Blockbusters From Winning Major Awards: 'Popular Films Were Winning Oscars Before the Mid '90s' https://t.co/Kw8opEvyf1

— Variety (@Variety) March 16, 2025

Smfh

Sorry limeys it's just like real life for you guys, fr fr

We wuz shoes n shit mayng

I've run in to a ton of this recently but my two most recent examples are:

1) Was watching Band of brothers for the first time and in the third episode, in the epilogue text they say that a soldier who got shot in the neck later died of his wounds and try to pull the audiences heartstrings with the ultimate sacrifice or whatever but it turns out the dude lived into the 1960's and had a whole fricking family.

2) Watched the most reluctant convert about CS Lewis, (don't judge, I wasn't choosing the movie) and they made up some weird shit about his first lust being some some dance teacher he coomed to or something.

There isn't really a point to this post since this site's average user is a paranoid skeptic already but I've grown to hate biopics so much.

!kino

What's everyone been up to this week?

!kino !hatewatchers

@Aevann please pin

https://old.reddit.com/r/boxoffice/comments/1jcmt4t/disneys_captain_america_brave_new_world_grossed/

A few reasons including:

*Alyssa Milano

*Rose Mcgowan

*That other girl.

More importantly: It's because in facilities like hospitals, psych wards, and jails this is the only thing you can jerk off to.

I prefer Cleopatra 2525 myself, probably because that's when I got cripped the first time and was on lots of oxys. They were so much better to us back then.

thry just cant help themselves

I ain't gonna say I was Michelle Jones' biggest fan, but replacing Zendaya's MJ with an actual MJ just feels fucking wrong to me https://t.co/KD4aOiVO32

— Omak🇵🇸 (@itsOmak_) March 14, 2025

Robert Eggers (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Eggers) is a director associated with a string of moody, atmospheric and historically accurate period pieces starting with The Witch (2015) and most recently the Nosferatu remake.

Look at him. He is a Brooklyn neurodivergent. Trendy but insufferable, his special interest is obscure historical periods and factoids.

Forced to make something normies could consume in order to get his debut funded, The Witch is by a large margin his best movie. His hyper-focus on accurate production design, dialogue, and plotting is wrapped in real-seeming characters who actually seem to have inner emotional lives (a notoriously difficult thing for neurodivergents to write). There are relationship dynamics between the protagonists and a genuinely psychological atmosphere. He isn't just trying to get studio money to fund his 5 million dollar historical re-enactment, he's actually making a movie. People were talking non-stop about this being 'the scariest movie ever' when it came out, which it isn't, but it's good.

Then he makes The Lighthouse (2019). Eggers' special interest is now New England 200 years after The Witch, and his excuse for the movie existing plot-wise is a vague urban legend about nutso lighthouse keepers. He's tricked real actors into performing his uncinematic dialogue, and I believe that the scenes which did work well were because he had a co-writer. People loved it for some reason. It bombed.

His big break, The Northman, is basically Hamlet transposed onto vikings. All the characters are archetypes who exist only for Eggers to place highly researched and detailed costumes onto, to stand before painstakingly recreated historic vistas. The only scene that works is the one where the protagonist realises his mother Nicole Kidman is a mercenary duplicitous hag, because it has actual emotional resonance. I suspect that was in the source material because again, Eggers is incapable of making a movie in which the characters have remotely realistic emotional lives. The Northman was the result of him being handed a big budget with no limitations and you can smell the stink of autism. It bombed.

Finally, we have Nosferatu. This is a story with two separate source material's worth of existing characters and stories, and you couldn't frick it up if you tried. And he really tries. Every moment a human is on screen you feel him itching to film more 1800s production design. He has zero interest in actually making the audience experience the horror of a vampire raping your wife because he's more fascinated by making sure the Count's castle is architecturally accurate, and that the vampire has a moustache because any real undead Transylvanian wouldn't dare not having a moustache (despite the moustache looking dumb as frick from a cinematic perspective). It bombed. EDIT: It didn't bomb, but it still sucked and it will have zero impact culturally in just a year.

What Eggers really wants is unlimited funding to build the most complex and unending model train set, or to time travel so he can experience what a medieval midden is really like. He's only like 10% interested in making movies that work for the people who watch them.

If he's to make another movie he needs the studio equivalent of a tard wrangler to keep him in line every step of the way and remind him, "No Robert, people won't care about the ornate details of the 1700s town centre you had built. Make the characters have a conversation which sounds like something humans would say."

I feel bad for the SFX folks who did a very good job. It was terribly written and directed, I'm guessing that's why Universal abandoned it.

Netflix on Monday:

- Lil B

Most realistic war movie I've ever seen, directly based on a true story from the War in Afghanistan, and it's a very interesting direction for a war movie to go that I've never seen done before. Very, very natural dialogue and character choices/actions (which makes sense as it seems to be a very accurate retelling). Highly recommend. Won't spoil anything in case you haven't heard about the true story, but will say it's not an easy watch if you're not a WPD enjoyer.

Pirate streaming here: https://nunflix.org/watch/movie/306650

Also, reflecting on this as I'm on a war movie kick, Jesus what a pointless fricking war:

Besides killing the people directly responsible for 9/11, which was cool I guess - what a waste of time, resources, and men's lives/bodies. 2 decades for NOTHING. And we dragged like dozens of other countries into it. More embarrassing than Vietnam in that regard.

At least Stitch is the same voice