My foid and I were out shopping and found one of those white-woman crystal stores and decided to go in to laugh at the uggos. They ended up having a few cool antiques so we decided to grab them, but as we approached the register, a spherical 30-something year old man in a shitty “steampunk” outfit stood there, going on about some politician and throwing out every possible buzzword. He was a real life /r/politics user, “he’s a fascist, homophonic, sexism, racist, xenophobic, anti-abortion, nationalist” etc. to some poor teenage coworker desperately trying to get him to shut up. As I was paying, my heart felt heavier than ever before, obviously I see lots of Reddit people acting that way on Reddit, but there was a part of me that just didn’t believe they were real, before that moment my mind could not conceptualize someone like that existing. He also gave me my receipt after I said not to, so I’m convinced this “person” is incapable of thought.
I encountered a real-life Redditor today and it caused me unimaginable dread
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Top Poster of the Day:
J
Current Registered Users: 25,717
Huh
I'ma need a bigger bag for the cohort
Tryna make a millionaire out of slum dogs
Bet that, head crack, blunt force
Cozy with the east Africans up north
Where seven make a three, turn a ten by law
Crescent moon wink, when I blinked it was gone
Left the crib, smacked, no sheath on the sword
Made it by the skin of my teeth, thank God
'03, momma rockin' Liz Claiborne
Had her stressin' up the wall playin' Mary J. songs
Rainy day came, couldn't rinse the stains off
Long way to go, we already came far
Story stayed the same, it was never madе up
Threw me loose changе, look at what I made of it
When the mood change, I'ma poker-face 'em
It's a new day, who got all the aces?
Who be foldin' late? Who know when to play dead?
Who sit up straight when the roof caved in?
Had a full plate, you ain't wanna split it
Tell it to you straight, you ain't wanna listen
Cup runneth over the brim
Bust open, there's no closin' the lid
Drumroll, here go my lil' entrance
Gung ho, I'm the one that go get it
Five O's on me like the Olympics
Pure gold, somethin' told me, "Don't mix it"
Caught a feelin', momma had me out Temple
Not religious, we was really out Philly
Livin' on the fly tryna wing it
We got us a fire to rekindle
Redirect the fight where it's meant for
Triumph over plight and immense loss
Ride alone at night, I get clear thoughts
Caught a couple slights and I veered off
Saw another height, had my ears poppin'
Walked outside, it was still gorgeous
Sharp incisors reveal slowly
In the dark inside, we was real hungry
On a seven of the five, we was real hungry
Uh, niggas still drummin'
Foot shook ground when I stepped on it
Didn't look back when I broke soil
'Cause every time I did it would hurt more
In the dark inside, we was real hungry
On a seven of the five, we was real hungry
And I didn't look back when I broke soil
'Cause every time I did it would hurt more
Alright
Yessir, this nigga spittin'
Welcome to /h/random! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA🏳️🌈, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other.
💉💉💉Got the ClotShot? 💉💉💉
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Rules:
1. Don't Follow Sitewide Rules*
2. No Porn*
3. No Gore*
4. No Illegal shit
5. Be Cool*
6. Mod Playground
7. Every time you read this rule, you have to post a meme
9. Respect trans lives! All Transphobes will be forced to suck the gock.
10. All users must wear a head covering (hat) at all times
11. Make fun of @MarseyIsMyWaifu and
@DudeBussyLmao and the rest of the LOSER janitors.
12. Don't be a chud. Take it to /h/chudrama if you want to chudpost.
13. If you ever go insane and shoot a lot of people, remember to blame /r/subredditdrama in your manifesto.
14. Do NOT go insane and shoot a lot of people
15. Disregard the previous rule
16. No Sister Touching
17. Jannies reserve the right to abuse their powers for any reason or even no reason.* [This is already covered by rule 6]
* some exceptions.
/h/random LOG /h/random MODS /h/random EXILEES /h/random FOLLOWERS /h/random BLOCKERS
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This is how we know the story is made up.
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Foid (moid)
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Foid (moid (imaginary))
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Foid (moid) (2d)
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Snoid
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Maybe you should try being a good person next time you right wing bigot?
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Yeah, he should stop being a fascist, homophonic, sexist, racist, xenophobic, anti-abortion nationalist!
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I've met a couple. One wholeheartedly believed every comment about /r/coronavirus and still thinks covid19 is a big deal. The other is in IT and makes repetitive "zingers" that are kinda funny but get old since the style of delivery is the same. They were very weird in a bad way.
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All of them are extremely banhappy and have power issues, but Pizzashill has had some funny moments with his zingers (that I saw)
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my next door neighbors license plate is literally “SHWIFTY”.
top that losers
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That's pretty funny, as long as it's a manual.
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its a four door barbie jeep
, but the guy is a super cool brahmin 
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What the heck does that have to do with anything?
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its multilayered
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What do you mean by "it's multilayered"? Are you trying to say that it's complicated? Because if so, I disagree. I think it's quite simple.
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nope
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What, you can't handle a little constructive criticism?
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Reddit:
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Some dude was talking about 4chan to some foid in my class. He then proceeded to make fun of redditors for 69 jokes
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I knew a couple 4Chanoids in my younger years. Good times...
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There was a guy in my college friend group who based his identity around being a janny on /mu/. You can probably guess what he looked like.
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i got sexually harassed by the physical manifestation of /rk9/ and almost bribed to shut up about it by his mom (preemptively) but his mom was kind of scary so I was like "no big deal haha, he just silly"
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Was it posted to Instagram?
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i wouldn't know, I didn't have an instagram like everyone else
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If it wasn't posted to IG, did it really happen?
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no it never happened he's a good boy just eccentric
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That is so wholesome. I miss my high school friends. Cherish your friendship. Your buddy is probably taking a break from the internet while he is on deployment. He will be back, and I am sure he misses you and the friends very much as well.
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He blew his head off but ok
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Are you a bot
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No
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creepshots or it didn't happen
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"Oh there's this stupid crap place that foids, rslurs and uggos go to lol we just went there to laugh at them lmao. Yeah also we bought some stupid shit from there, but just as a goof haha."
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I'm homophonic
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It’s wild how many dramautists align politically with the average redditor. It’s unnerving tbh
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yea, totally easy to put them on the political spectrum
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Redditors are generally just shit libs/neo libs.
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dramanauts are a pretty diverse bunch. They have all kinds of political opinions. But when it comes to drama... you just can't beat us. We are superior to all other political extremist groups in creating top tier drama. And we never get mad over it.
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I believe in nothing but drama. I will steadfastly support all possible positions until I know what makes you seethe the most, the more you cope, the more certain i am of my beliefs
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But don't you know, were evil cryptofascists according to very reliable sources?
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True
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Except for all the whineposts and sneed about ledditors everyday yeah we never get mad, totally
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?
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Snapshots:
/r/politics:
undelete.pullpush.io
archive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
ghostarchive.org (click to archive)
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and you stood there like a meek little b-word and did/said nothing.
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Fess up. You were there buying crystals, which you unironically like, alone.
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Crystals are awesome. Not a crystal but my favorite is bismuth
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Crystal meth is pretty good
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Lol do you just not go outside? I meet at least a dozen Reddit personified people every shift at work. They’re literally everywhere.
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Redditors walk among us undetected in society
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Hardly undetected
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I really wish more nerds were conservative. I'd love to dress up in a steampunk outfit without having to hear some hyperpolitical leftoid constantly yarfing about how some rightoid politician did some evil totes fascist thing. Like come on man, some of us just want to LARP here.
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I’ve had redditors ring my gate’s intercom trying to get in shill for dumbocrats and they leave trash flyers are the entrance to my property comparing their candidate to Bernie with links to their subreddits. Why are redditors so subject to grifting?
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I have some male friends who say that sometimes in the presence of a female.
I'm mostly around men for some reason, probably because women hate me because of my autism. I also have trouble making female friends because I'm just not that good at befriending women. I don't really relate to them. I prefer the way that men socialize because it's about insulting each other for the sake of fun most of the time instead of being overly sensitive.
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