is this enough marseys for you cute twinks?? Woman’s husband has a stroke, doesn’t tell her because she’d freak out. She finds out, freaks out and moves out because he thought she’d freak out if she found out.

It doesn’t take long for the ladies to begin essayposting about :marseygaslighting: -

https://old.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/12odxbw/my_husband_and_his_entire_family_hid_a_medical/jgi0pe2/?context=3&sort=controversial

"she said they wanted to protect my fragile mental state”

"He told me I was being dramatic" and "he was 'protecting' me"

"His whole family thinks I'm crazy"

I find these phrases and the bold words in particular very telling of your husband and his family's view of mental health. I don't like how close to gaslighting this is coming across; it may even be gaslighting, actually. It's like they don't think you're a functioning adult or something, and need to be treated as a fragile child.

I too have anxiety, among other mental health disorders, so I know what it's like to have people think you're not capable. It's painful to realize that those who are supposed to love and care about you have decided you're too messed up to handle drama.

I don't know what your plans are of course, but I would absolutely have a serious conversation with my husband ASAP. That he's willing to lie this easily over something this big and then try to gaslight you into thinking they were doing it for your best interest is messed up. They were not. They didn't want to deal with how you would respond because they're uncomfortable dealing with someone like you and can't be bothered to learn how to actually help you in difficult times - you know, what husbands and family should be doing for one another. I would insist he get better education on your diagnoses and attend couples counseling as well. This is the kind of behavior that only worsens when not addressed, and you deserve to be in a safe, healthy, loving environment.

These terms have also historically been linked to women and used to strip them of autonomy, not only of their own bodies, but all decisions effecting them.

Weakness and fragility in women was linked medically to both their mental and physical health, and was viewed as something inherent to girls and women. Women and girls were for instance recommended to not do physical activity, such as walk stairs during their periods.

Women were also diagnosed with hysteria, while men were not. Hysteria literally comes from the greek word for uterus. Women and their emotions or lack thereof were controlled and conditioned this way.

These attitudes OPs husband and his family have towards OP are rooted in misogyny. It is infantilizing of the highest degree.

It goes on for awhile like that

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/u/snatchpanda says it’s time for a divorce and there’s absolutely nothing that will fix things:

It won’t go anywhere. It’s not worth having that conversation. OP, I went through something similar in my own relationship.

He has already made a decision. If anything, it will just confirm to him that he was correct in hiding it because he predicted correctly that you would start “acting crazy” if you found out. Any subsequent reaction will just be used against you and he’s already started a smear campaign with his family so that they believe you’re unstable.

No level of bargaining, negotiation or reasoning will convince him that you’re worth seeing as an equal, no matter how correct you are. Best thing to do here is disconnect. Go silent. Start making an exit strategy

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Some assorted 1k+ upvoted circlejilling about how your husband’s stroke isn’t “the diagnosis”, your anxiety is “the diagnosis” and he needs to be respectful of it

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Additional divorce highlight reel:

• 1

• 2

• 3

• 4 ^{with bonus conspiracy theory!}

• 5

• 6 ^{with OP response}

• 7

• 8

Reminder to never get involved with a woman who even knows what Reddit is.

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And now we move on to Controversial, which the j-slurs have been hard at work mopping. Unddit seems fricky and won’t load comments for me? So here are links to, at least, the resultant discussions

https://old.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/12odxbw/my_husband_and_his_entire_family_hid_a_medical/jgijeua/?context=3&sort=controversial

This one ⬆️ goes on for quite awhile. My favorite part is “Don't feed the trolls, you've got like 99% of people agreeing with you, you're not crazy.”

The lone voice of reason is also one of the most controversial comments in the thread:

Dishonesty in a relationship is not okay. But your husband had a major situation happen to him and you are making it about you Both are serious issues and are problematic. You should look into couples therapy.

Controversial sort was a lot less interesting than I thought it would be. OP edited her post to call out all the haters calling her crazy, but I couldn’t find a single one of those.

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Also of note is the fact that OP is fricking enormous and has a narwhal tattoo

& lol.

That’s all for now, happy Monday rDrama!