We are hitting r-slur level's previously not known to be possible

I get that, and I feel for you, and anti-fat rhetoric aside, I really don't view fats as literally subhuman or anything. It's just aesthetically repulsive. But it's completely surmountable if they're a compelling, or funny, or intelligent, or competent enough person and I've known more than a few fats who are just fine people. This applies exclusively to moids, of course, because I am not like run-of-the-mill TERFs who want to pretend that men and women are exactly equal and identical except in ways that make them uncomfortable. They're not. Different standards do and should exist for the s*xes. So while being a fat man can be overcome just by being a cool person, being a fat woman cannot. And this really doesn't apply much to what you said, I apologize, I just needed to clarify that I despise fat women but there are plenty of fat dudes who are just fine.

Which is, of course, utterly useless in this regard because I'm a straggot moid myself and so I don't think my opinion on fat men really counts for much insofar as your personal circumstances are concerned, but I do get what you're saying and I'm sorry it's such a struggle for you. I can't understand the struggle myself though and it confuses me when people talk about how losing weight is hard. Like I put on 21 pounds during the few months of early COVID lockdown we had and I was able to drop it all in a month without a lick of strenuous exercise, all it took was fasting which I found to be incredibly easy lol.

Therapy is a meme though 100%. If simply articulating to some stranger in a white coat or tweed jacket or whatever what your problems are could solve your problems, then you didn't have any actual problems in the first place aside from the still-extant histrionics. Being failed by therapy isn't a you problem; if anything it's a credit to you as a person.

Not gonna end this by saying it gets better or anything—things getting better is ever a personal choice that only you can make, and the difficulty with which they can get better can make it more arduous, but by no means suggests that it can't or won't. I don't know your circumstances, but I do hope things work out for you, either with weight, or life, or both. Just do your best. If it doesn't work, do better until it does. That's all anyone can do. Always trust in God above all else, but never forget that we are called to be agents of His will, rather than simply passive recipients of it. And what we want is not always His will.

THATS A LOT OF WORDS TO SAY THAT YOURE FRICKING FAT

I've known more coherent downies.