Women bore me. Their insanity terrifies me. I'm seriously not sure if I can ever see my self trusting a woman or deeming her worthy enough of my paycheck or hilarious film critiques. At the same time, I know I have a crazy high libido. It's a conundrum. So for the first time in my life, I used a fleshlight. Prior, to this I've never inserted into anything, (apart from my hand). It was VERY uncomfortable at first but after that fine. No coom though. It felt so great being in control and not having to buy dinner for a woman. It also gave me lots of confidence and reassurance that I am capable.

I know deep down this doesn't count as losing my virginity. I so wish it did and might convince myself it does. It upsets me that I still have that to give that “first” to a real woman.

Anyone else experienced anything similar or have any advice to get over this hurdle?

Edit: Thanks for the vicious backlash everyone! Seeing a lot of comments saying that “I am a huge loser” and that I need to let this whole idea go. Trust me, I know I am and REALLY want to. However, for context, I grew up in an ultra Christian household that drilled purity culture into me since I was 5 years old. So unfortunately, it's a very complicated and distressing narrative to unpack. It doesn't help I have been disappointed by women my entire dating life so emotionally I think I would break if the experience was bad and I was regretful.

My brap alarm was going off

Losing weight and losing friends

I once read that for every 14lbs that one loses, you can expect to “lose” two friends. I always thought I had been lucky enough to be the exception to the rule or that the statement was simply an exaggeration.

Well, I'm now down nearly 100lbs, nearly 130 now. There are certain people/“friends” in my life that are just distancing themselves from me and its becoming obvious. For example, they avoid me, view ALL my posts but rarely interact, if they do it's never to compliment how I look now, when they used to before when I was fat. I always compliment/hype them (and I genuinely mean it)

And no, I have not posted my WL journey on social media nor do I even bring it up in person unless others initiate the conversation.

I know it is their problem not mine but it is painful. I'll get over it soon but I'm wondering if anyone else out there is going through the same thing?

I've never heard of this. Is this just true for super fat people? Like how alcoholics will stop hanging out with people who get their lives together because they can no longer point at them and say, "Well, at least I'm not as bad as that guy."

thank you for being brave and coming out and sharing this, Carp

lol this has to be a troll or an . Their only other posts are about how they lost 100 pounds and are now too sexy for friends, how men constantly beg to have s*x with them, and this one that they are super empowered for masturbating away their virginity somehow.

Men scare me. Their lust terrifies me. I'm seriously not sure if I can ever see my self trusting a man or deeming him worthy enough of my virginity or body.

Sad !foidmoment

At the same time, I know I have a crazy high libido.

many such femcels

Holy shit, this brave woman masturbated! Redditors, updoot with all your updootiness!

Lost my virginity to a dildo. I feel empowered.

When I read that title I thought this was going to be a Carp blogpost

virginity is a construct

Is anything not a construct these days?

This is the kind of foid who desperately needs a shrink but will instead run to an internet hugbox. Being hyper-afraid of half the population is so blatantly unhealthy it's stopped being sad and looped back around to being hilarious.

Their lust terrifies me.

but

At the same time, I know I have a crazy high libido.

???

Men scare me. Their lust terrifies me. I'm seriously not sure if I can ever see my self trusting a man or deeming him worthy enough of my virginity or body.

well adjusted

Why is your text gold? I don't see any font tags.

That subreddit will never stop being full of the most mentally ill people on Reddit. Heck, I saw a criticism of that subreddit as “needlessly harsh on men” on MensLib of all places, and the mods didn't delete it

No, but men don't tend to get shamed for not being virgins anymore, more the other way around.

This is what women actually believe.

Fake account that's prepping to get sold:

https://old.reddit.com/user/lady-bridgerton/submitted

Me too

Snapshots:

• ghostarchive.org

• archive.org

• archive.ph (click to archive)

I wish I had all there wise women around me 30 years ago. I spent way too much time catering to men and their desires, not my own.

>wise women

oxymoron

Being totally in control the first time you experience penetration means you can avoid pain and get used to the vulnerability without involving another person.

Is there a single person in the entire universe who has had s*x before masturbation or even a wet dream?

Incels hate this one simple trick

Imagine needing a dildo to masturbate