https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce/comments/1fhdnra/why_did_he_change_for_her/
Top comment on /r/divorce from an Angry Man
Well, a divorce is a huge life event and can cause people to re-evaluate. Not so much that he wasn't trying for you, but that now his life is upside down he finally understands how important it is.
But also, it's not like he changed that much, he might have a nice job, but he's still awful with money if he's buying a girlfriend a house.
Top comment on TwoX from Heckin Valid Women (male)
This is something I haven't admitted out loud as someone who recently divorced (aside for therapy). Since we have little ones, I do hope he steps up for them and gets his shit together. On the other hand, I don't want him to because that means there is something wrong with me. Why didn't he support me? Why didn't he step up? Why did I have to do all the heavy lifting?
My therapist said something along the lines of "if he changes it wasn't because you weren't good enough. Its because you are not longer managing his feelings and life so he HAS to step up to the plate. You had an overgrown child not a partner. A true partner would at least meet halfway where it counts. If he does step up after you leave him it's because you showed him how to step up. He didn't step up not because of something you did wrong."
He probably was taking advantage of you, whether or not he realized it. I doubt he has actually changed, he just got a new job and a new lady. It's ok to be scared. You will be ok being alone. Date yourself and stop giving him anymore of your energy...you already gave him 12 years of it.
Did we all marry the same man?
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That's crazy, let's all give each other advice.
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this happens with fb groups too...just circle jerking about how it's everyone elses fault that they arent happy...
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Wow what was holding them back
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Scrotes
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Every fricking time lmao
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I mean you shouldn't ask a foid for advice on how to attract a foid.
People most often lie to themselves about what they are. Observe what they do not what they say. take what they say into account as additional information to be fit unto the dataset of what they do.
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I did this once (as a curiousity) it was so embarassingly over before it began
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"Oh no a man gave me perfectly reasonable, straightforward response but it doesn't placate me enough. Women help reassure my feelings instead of actuslly helping me!"
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