@longpostbot's comment on 'Foids Posting Ls :marseyl:'

https://old.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1fi8y6d/i_posted_this_in_rdivorce_but_too_many_angry_men/

https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce/comments/1fhdnra/why_did_he_change_for_her/

Top comment on /r/divorce from an Angry Man

Well, a divorce is a huge life event and can cause people to re-evaluate. Not so much that he wasn't trying for you, but that now his life is upside down he finally understands how important it is.

But also, it's not like he changed that much, he might have a nice job, but he's still awful with money if he's buying a girlfriend a house.

Top comment on TwoX from Heckin Valid Women (male)

This is something I haven't admitted out loud as someone who recently divorced (aside for therapy). Since we have little ones, I do hope he steps up for them and gets his shit together. On the other hand, I don't want him to because that means there is something wrong with me. Why didn't he support me? Why didn't he step up? Why did I have to do all the heavy lifting?

My therapist said something along the lines of "if he changes it wasn't because you weren't good enough. Its because you are not longer managing his feelings and life so he HAS to step up to the plate. You had an overgrown child not a partner. A true partner would at least meet halfway where it counts. If he does step up after you leave him it's because you showed him how to step up. He didn't step up not because of something you did wrong."

He probably was taking advantage of you, whether or not he realized it. I doubt he has actually changed, he just got a new job and a new lady. It's ok to be scared. You will be ok being alone. Date yourself and stop giving him anymore of your energy...you already gave him 12 years of it.

Did we all marry the same man?

:#marseyxd: :marseywomanmoment2#:

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GabrielMartinelli rap/ist A little :rape:

never hurt anybody 12d ago #7038242

!r-slurs !nonchuds !chuds

>That sucks dude! I went through something almost exactly the same before my separation and soon to be divorce, so I feel like I know what you're going through.

>STBXW lost her job during COVID. Luckily, I'm in a field where I could thrive during lockdowns and worked my butt off to grow my career to where I am now. During this time, I paid for everything, supported our family of 5 without asking anybody to give up anything, and encouraged her to go after her old employer for an appropriate severance package. I mean, who tf just kicks a 20 year employee to the curb without a second thought? Frick that, they owed her big time, and I told her I'd support her in forcing them to make it right. But even on my rapidly increasing salary, I still ended up blowing through all my savings and accruing an additional $32k in debt over those 3 years she wasn't working. Didn't ask her for any of the $40k severance she received. Supported her while she half assed her job search without pushing because she had gone through a lot, not just with losing her career.

>After nearly a year of searching. she finally found a job she enjoyed that she is really, really good at, even if it's not in her field, and it's not full time. 30 some-odd hours a week though, with excellent benefits, so close enough. I was just happy she was happy again, and hoped that things would finally start getting back to normal. Instead, now that she was on her feet again, she started having an affair and decided our marriage no longer made her happy.

>To me, I'm getting treated the way her old employer treated her...nearly 20 years without a second thought. No concern for supporting our kids...I make more than her so I can just continue to pay for everything while she moves on and leaves the kids with me.

>You're 100% right dude...it's hard to not feel used in situations like this, and I too felt like such an idiot. And some days. I think to myself how I'd love to see karma catch up to her, just so she'd understand how completely shitty a person she is and how brutal her behaviour was.

Imagine going through all this and also getting divorce r*ped by losing half or more of all your investments + house + child support for the next decade and maybe even alimony meanwhile she's being funded by another man. I'm genuinely shocked more and more zoomers like myself aren't swearing off marriage completely. I will personally never put a ring on a hoe's finger, just do what basketball Americans do and keep her as a baby mama ffs