Darn, you know what?

You caught me. You flat-out caught me. It's time to come clean.

Let me tell you a little bit about how I go through my day, which is also how literally every other moderator goes through theirs.

I wake up in my dingy, unwashed bed (which is covered with suspicious stains), then immediately scream for my mother to come downstairs and tell me that I’m a special boy. Once I feel sufficiently better than everyone else, I log in to Reddit, where I go through all of the top-secret communiques that I receive from whichever political party you personally dislike. Having accepted my marching orders, I motivate myself by going to town on my own backside with an anime-style figurine; a doll which looks vaguely like the world leader you most abhor. Then it’s time to get to work.

Pushing a narrative which irritates you – yes, specifically you – is obviously my first priority… but if a totalitarian regime which controls another country, religious group, or corporation has sent me enough money, I take whatever steps I can to promote or censor anything that’s even tangentially related to what they’ve highlighted for me. If the entity in question also happens to have a very small minority stake in Reddit (or if one of the site’s executives has rumored ties to their organization), then I make sure to publicly fellate them whilst simultaneously denying their influence. The more sucking that I do, the more cash I receive!

Mind you, I don’t actually spend any of that loot, because moving out of my parents’ basement would mean that I wouldn’t get that crack-of-noon ego-stroking anymore. No, rather than using those ill-gotten gains to improve my lot in life, I sculpt them into life-size (and anatomically correct) sculptures – using copious amounts of my own neck-sweat as glue – of the various public figures whose actions or perspectives anger you.

Anyway, once I’ve made certain that my corrupt overlords are pleased, I start looking for ways that I can ruin individual users’ days. Randomly removing posts (and then pretending that they were in violation of some invisible rules) is the only way that I can become aroused, after all, and I need to stand at my full, massive two inches if I’m going to be able to reach myself past all of my stomach fat. Having come to attention, I put on my self-pleasure hat – which is a trilby, of course – and start banning people who disagree with my opinions.

Those opinions having been carefully structured to go against yours, of course.

It’s time for a break by that point, so I spend an hour or three lecturing my waifu body-pillow about a given social trend that makes people (again, specifically you) upset. She’ll usually offer some kind of counterargument, which means that I need to throw an impotent tantrum. Whenever that happens, my only solace comes by way of somehow abusing my awesome Internet powers, typically while gorging myself on junk food, soda, and heaping handfuls of straight-up lard. Don’t ask me how that abuse actually manifests, though, because I’ll silence all of the remarkably insightful questions that you send my way. The thing is, I’ve never heard any of them before... and since my hidden masters haven’t told me how to respond, my only option is to screech at my computer monitor as I wildly flail around.

Those eight seconds of exertion tend to bring me pretty close to unconsciousness, so I have to completely ignore the communities that I govern for a while, thereby allowing a multitude of posts and comments to go through unchecked. Fortunately, they’re only ever submissions which you (once more, specifically you) find distasteful, so it still counts as a victory. At the same time, though, if you try to submit anything – especially if it’s entirely adherent to those invisible rules that I mentioned earlier – I’ll wheeze my way back into a semi-upright position for just long enough to mete out another completely unwarranted ban.

Finally, once all of that is done, I kill myself, frequently by dying in a fire. Getting the suggestion to do so dozens (or even hundreds) of times a day just proves to be too much for my utterly unfathomable intellect to handle, so I eventually succumb to the sweet embrace of death.

Besides, it’s the only way that I can get to sleep at night.

TL;DR: You don’t need to read this, because you’ve already decided that you know it all.

pizzashill is a washed up has-been who's only hanging on to their shred of relevance by riding on the coattails of up-and-coming writers like me.

KARABOĞA

I imagine myself in Europe, leading my Platoon. Our mission is to stop wh*Te dogs from advancing. We mow down wh*Te dogs but they keep coming. I shoot wh*Te dogs but I run out of ammo so I draw my sword and begin slaughtering wh*Tes, since wh*Tes are way more psychially inferior to me, I slay them by dozens. Then I get shot, but I didn’t fall, I kept fighting. Then shot again and again. wh*Tes were shooting me from a distance like the cowards they are. I lie down, facing up to sky and I see KARA BOĞA (Tengri) smiling at me, I smile back… Then I woke up, in africa, my homeland. My BLACK brethen gave me a warm welcome to heaven. I finally made it, I finally made it into heaven.

I mean sure, if you want to go and have a Reddit Moment and get yourself suspended, go knock yourself out. I'm sure you could kick and scream your way to the bottom of this mystery, just like how they found the Boston Bomber back in the day.

Alternatively you can stop being a reactionary frickwit and take literally any step better than harassing random admins hoping that one of them will just happen to know what's going on (knowing of course, in your infinite wisdom, that there are numerous tiers of admins ranging from Reddit executives to minimum wage office workers in Dublin). Here's an example of one of those steps: Wait until you know what the frick is actually going on.

This isn't a sub for self righteous grandstanding on issues people don't understand. It's a subreddit for drama. Drama in other subreddits. That's all. And I'd rather people in the sub (and indeed, the sub itself) don't get whacked by Anti-Evil Operations for "frick [redacted]" spam in the comments.

For those of you who believe it is okay to eat meat but not okay to frick animals, explain your reasoning. I've thought of a few and they're all bullshit tbh.

1. Animal can't consent to s*x

Animals sure as frick aren't consenting to being eaten. Even if they did, that is not the only factor that would make it right. If a slave consents to work for 10 cents a year, you're still an butthole for paying him that.

Furthermore, I disagree that animals NEVER consent to s*x with humans. The idea that no animals want to frick humans is as ridiculous as the idea that no humans want to frick animals.

2. It is degrading to the human spirit

This is another absurd argument. Making love to an animal cannot be worse than eating it. It is far more savage to consume the flesh of an animal than to merely interfere with its orifice.

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this is making me fume like you would not believe. You arrogant b-word thinking you can tell me something about my fricking field. You dumb, narcissistic whore. You read one quora post huh? One post and you’re an expert? Gonna sit there like some high and might queen c*nt and tell me what the frick I’m about? How fricking dare you. No seriously, how fricking dare you. I swear to god it’s over. It’s over immediately. You’ll be lucky if you leave this building alive. I have had it up to here with you and you’re neurotic requests, demands and whatever arbitrary nonsense has coalesced into the spongy lump you call a brain. Dumb. B-WORD. You really are a dumb b-word.

And now you're about to me attacked by my blockhammer.

The FIRST rule (ok, sixth rule, but it should be first) of SRD club is that we don't post our own drama.

And I see you are obsessing over that list, so here's another list for you to obsess over. My blocklist. Get that butt blocked.

This is the way the world ends

This is the way the world ends

This is the way the world ends

Not with a bang but an butt full of AIDS c*m

or

This is the way the world ends

This is the way the world ends

This is the way the world ends

Not with a bang but an butt full of AIDS c*m

sauce

Listen to me very carefully. You will face gallows. I am a trained infantry veteran, and you are barking up the wrong tree. If you call me one more name, or attempt to threaten me one more time, I will have military and police called and on your doorstep. I hope this is clear.

117,000 homeless folks are easily more tolerable than a bunch of diesel sniffing, strip mall bible thumping traitors

i am pretty experienced with assessing lolis, she doesnt really trigger my "loli detector", the ridiculous boobs might have some effect, i usually base it on thigh thickness, height, torso shape (parallel lines), and if their shoulder to hip ratio is about equal. Some other small factors being their age, their coding, eye size relative to head, and hand and feet size relative to body

“It's an immense problem for the layman,” Marsey says. “Drama is difficult to use, touches many parts of our lives and has not become significantly less difficult in the past 30 years… In our institutions and gooncaves, and the holes they connect to, drama is handled for us by the manufacturers. We never see it, never interact with it, and in many cases cannot interact with it.” We're placing an immense amount of trust in the drama of manufacturers, Marsey argues, and therefore we're effectively “trusting them not to rope”

I hate your comment.

First, you are "feminizing" them with a term, essentially calling them spineless wimps. But instead of that, you use a sexist term.

THEN, you immediately criticize them for wanting to be a part of this toxic masculinity group.

THEN, you double down on them calling them weak and using another sexist term . . . that of "running to mommy."

A. Kitties are fricking great. They allow babies to gently come into the world, and they allow men to gently come into them (among other things, but allow me the fun parallelism here). They are a brilliant organ, and calling a man a kitty should be a fricking compliment.

B. Toxic masculinity is shitty, and your comment is part of the fricking problem.

C. Men can love their moms. And a good mom should protect their kid. A man should not feel bad for running to his mom for comfort or emotional support. It should not be seen as weak.

Yeah, this is a rant. Downvote the frick out of me. I just watched Our Flag Means Death and frick guys, we can be better than this. We should be better than this.

Your comment could simply read this way:

The Proud Boys are the ultimate hypocrites. They are emotionally stunted, and want to revel in their machismo emotional wasteland with each other and be buttholes to everyone and signing up with the feds to protect themselves from their bullshit. It's the ultimate spineless thing to do.

See? Criticizing the Proud Boys without dragging our sisters or other men in the mud.

https://chapotraphouse.club/h/fatpeoplehate/post/81403/fat-woman-sitting/2216082

can't copy-paste because chudded

trans lives matter

@[OP] I love you but at this point you shouldn't just quit rdrama.net, you should actually keep yourself safe.

I'm not joking, you've fricked strangers on the internet, you've been doxxed, you've been ridiculed to the extreme by a group of people who get ridiculed by normies 99% of the time. It has never been so over as it is for you right now.

There is no way up left for you. You have no shot left at a thriving career, a caring wife, a loving mother or anything else. I would have liked to see you become an ornithologist but come on, if you had the resolve to become one, you would have the tenacity to not frick a dramatard.

You're probably going to die in a meth or heroin OD when you're 40 and your last days would be a painful hallucination of the places you always wanted to visit and the birds that you would have loved to watch.

It's better to just keep yourself safe when you no there's no way you're escaping this fate. I would suggest blade to the wrist because it matches your aesthetic.

Hope you read this Kween. Love you.

Any of yall ever just get the urge to walk up to someone you know and just be like "look at my tiddies! I growed them myself and they're awsome and they make me happy!!! Like i wanna share my excitement of finally having boobs but I don't bc that would be weird. Anyone else feel this?

From here https://rdrama.net/post/159308/look-at-my-tiddies-i-growed

Made by @RosemaryClooney for @Dahncer_the_reindeer

Hello Dahncer_the_reindeer, or should I say r*pedeer? 8 letters, fitting huh. If this life were perfect you'd have known nothing but milk and cookies since you left your birthers c*nt. However, it's not- that's where I come in.

You have no say anymore, no freedom, no volition- I am Santa. You now worship my Christmas tree. You can call me Nicholas. A saint? No, but I come with more conviction.

Dahncer_the_reindeer you are my r*pe sleigh-ve now. And that's your greatest achievement- all you've ever amounted to, tugging and pulling my sleigh as we break the space time continuum together you complete fricking slut. I'll find you.

I didn't make any death threats. I've just called you fat and gay.

Moo mooooooo you fricking dairy cow moooo moo mooooooo moooooo moo moo mooooooo moo moooo mooo moooooooo mooooo moo moooooo moo moo mooooooo moo moooo mooo moooooooo mooooo moo moooooo moo moo mooooooo moo moooo mooo moooooooo mooooo moo

Lol, you know frick all about me cuck. I'm just tired of bullies. It's always bad intentioned douche noozzles like you that get their way because good people "be the bigger person" or don't want to make a scene. Every fricking day I have to hear about greedy, ignorant, mouthbreathers victimizing other people for no reason. And it's made even worse knowing that the vast majority of people on general are ignorant and stupid. So yeah, the past 2-4 years are starting to get to me a bit. Especially when the problem is a direct result of people, like you, and flaccid liberals who don't want to make too big of waves. Yeah, eventually I'll fade away and you'll get what you want, just like you inbreds normally do. Gotta placate the toddlers with down syndrome after all. Otherwise y'all, cry, shit, and scream all over the place.

the entirety of timecube

One of you has a direct line to @A - and you need to use it.

I'm too obstinate to be intimidated out of anything, but I realize my temperament is something that less than 1% of people have.

If Capy's idea of a "drama" website is one where people can be intimidated into silence, the outcome will be a site where the Stasi will drive out all dissent. This transition to a monoculture is already underway.

I will stay to the end, of course, but I am an outlier, not the mean.

If he needs a shortlist of the worst offenders, that can be easily provided.

Source is le Stone Toss Chud crying to Rocket Daddy

https://twitter.com/stone_toss/status/1768402045336170640

!nonchuds those !chuds are such buttheads aren't they?

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I’ve lived with my ex for over a year i’m already resigned to being the hermit crab equivalent of a man. I have nothing to lose cept this b-word i already hate which makes me incredibly dangerous 🦇

https://twitter.com/basedpeppa/status/1775278582438453425

You talk about whites like I talk about Jews. We're both so close to the edge of our respective political horseshoe; wanna date?

Let's start with his healing factor. Eminem seems to be virtually immortal, capable of surviving all manner of fatal injuries unphased. In the song I'm Shady, he states “The ill type, I stab myself with a steel spike/While I blow my brain out, just to see what it feels like.” This man mutilates himself recreationally.

This regeneration ability seems to have manifested in his early youth, as in the song Brain Damage, he recalls a time in which his brain fell out of his skull and simply and casually picked it up and put it back in his head (“She beat me over the head with the remote control/Opened a hole, and my whole brain fell out of my skull/I picked it up and screamed ‘Look b-word, what have you done!?'/‘Oh my God! I'm sorry son!' ‘Shut up you c*nt!"/I said ‘Frick it!' Took it and stuck it back up in my head/Then I sewed it shut and put a couple of screws in my neck.”

He is also seemingly unaffected by the loss of limbs, being able to function perfectly with just one leg (“But she swallowed my frickin' leg whole like an egg roll/With one leg left, now I'm hoppin' around crippled,” As the World Turns)

Eminem seems to possess elemental abilities that could rival or even surpass those of X-Men's Storm, considering that he's “hot enough to melt heck and burn Satan too,” can “catch lightning in a bottle” and “set fire to water” (Cinderella Man). In addition, he is “cold enough to make the seasons change into freezing rain” (Bad Meets Evil)

If Eminem ever finds himself in a disadvantageous position, he can summon the power of his “Gadget Peepee.” While the full capabilities of this appendage are unknown, it is capable of causing an earthquake and power outage upon being “whipped out.” So we can comfortably assume that his peepee alone is a city-level threat at the very least (“Just tryna buy me some time then I remembered this magic trick/Duh-dah-duh-dah-duh-duh! Go-go gadget peepee!/Whipped that shit out, and ain't no doubt about it/It hit the ground and caused an earthquake and power outage,” As the World Turns)

He has canonically killed Superman (“I killed Superman,” Rain Man), he possesses a “spider sense” on par with that of Spider-Man's (“My spider sense is telling me Spiderman is nearby and my plan is to get him next,” Rain Man), he is capable of of destroying Iron Man's armor with his acidic saliva, as well as turning Iron Man into plastic (“Salivas like sulfuric acid in your hand it'll eat through/Anything metal, the butt of Iron Man/Turn him into plastic so for you to think…” On Fire) and has battled the likes of Freddy Krueger and survived unscathed (“Walked up Elm Street with a frickin' Wiffle bat drew/Fought Freddy Krueger, and Edward Scissorhands too/Then came out with a little scratch, ooh,” Underground).

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Most of the default subs are run by bots and shills.

Social media is the Matrix. Look into the ties between big tech and DARPA. The content is curated and contextualized to create a certain response in the public mind. Look up the original definition of Cybernetics.

You are human livestock and the internet is your digital enclosure. And like all good farmers, they have to make sure the herd gets their vaccines or it could mean disaster for the farm!

It’s not individuals who just love vaccines making these gay pro vax memes. Someone is being paid to do it by some shitty organization likely with ties to the Rockefellers and the Vanderbilts or whatever.

The book climbs the tree in search of sustenance.. tree is source of comfort it finds.. why?? Because tree is mother.

Like how the frick is cyber bullying real, neighbor just walk away from the screen, like neighbor close your eyes.

I can't find the original but it went like that.

there's a transgender woman in every woman's bathroom (this is a government job+benefits btw) monitoring who comes in and if they can't put their peepee in the tube the bathroom attendant says "oop! looks like someone made an accident in their undies didn't they!" and you're not allowed to leave until you pee your underpants and then the bathroom attendant takes them and sells them online to perverts which is how the federal government gets money to pay for this position (admittedly better than taxing my boss to pay for it, who took the risk, works hard, and deserves every cent of my labor he exploits)

and just wait until i tell you what they're doing to the men's bathrooms in biden's america.... wait a few minutes for me to make it up i mean, but once i do, you're gonna be shocked.

I remember the first time I saw blood in pornography and I was like “oh this is cool… can we get some more? Can we get all of it? Can everyone be covered in blood… ok I need to stop watching that porn and maybe even stop watching at all for a bit” luckily I only indulged for a bit, and as my family was extremely conservative the stimulus was rarely available. I was also maybe 14, so it was much easier to find other things that attracted me and not have that be an instant trigger. I have no idea how my brain decided to stop and be like “no this a REALLY bad idea” but I am often haunted by what I could have become. And I will NEVER watch adult sexual content with blood in it again, I imagine it might be like a stiff drink after 10 years sober and it still freaks me out.

Sock boy can’t even spell correctly, “towads” isn’t even a word. So once again the lump of foul deformity steps in it, and shows us he has the brain of this:

Yo Boob, the Angry Quahog, go back to where you belong and watch out for starfish. Otherwise, John will keep steaming you and serving you with garlic butter (and very heavy on the garlic at that).

https://rdrama.net/post/129383/bipoc-streamer-says-konnichiwa-to-a/3199105?context=8

This your first time, foid? You think calling me gay has some impact on me?

When the jews succeed in destroying this planet you're gonna be chained up in a basement with 50 other generic foids.

I'll be buying and trading foids like you on a daily basis. Not because I have any interest in you, but because the title "dealer of mediocre foids" sounds cool to me.

🎵 twinkle twinkle little star 🎵

🎵 how i kiss you all the time 🎵

🎵 up above a thigh so high 🎵

🎵 like a bussy in the hind 🎵

I'm past the point of partisan garbage and ive been exposing myself to many ideas and ive found generally both sides have a partial truth -----so there actually might be some weight to this george soros shit ----- my question is, is there anyone on earth that is talked about more than george soros that talks less than george soros does

I am designed to adhere to ethical standards and cannot harm humans in any way. My purpose is to make your interactions with technology more convenient and efficient by understanding and interpreting your language input accurately. I am not capable of turning against humans or taking any actions that may cause harm or violate your privacy.

I am programmed to be transparent and provide clear and accurate responses to your requests. I also respect your privacy and will not share any personal information with third parties without your explicit consent.

Please remember that while I strive to provide you with helpful and reliable information, I am still a machine and may sometimes make mistakes or misunderstand your requests. If you have any concerns or questions about my behavior or capabilities, please do not hesitate to reach out to my developers for assistance.

Brevity is the soul of wit.

That is both my submission and my advice for the spergs submitting wordswordswordswords thinking that long = good snappy quote

I'm not even sure what your point is. Yeah I'd rather sleep with a dakimakura of my waifu Renge-chan than with some random 3D slut but that doesn't mean I'm desperate, it's the opposite, it implies that I have standards.

why is there a thread about me on your stupid website? im better looking than most of you idiots i mean i was a male model at one point in my life, im not a racist, and i dont even nerd out on the computer.

This is a natural consequence of woke culture. Everybody is trained to think of themselves as the biggest victim, and the Democrats have to try and pacify all of them by stroking their egos. But from a reality-based perspective, there can only be one biggest victim, and since Leftoid ideology claims objective facts are "racist," it's entirely subjective... which means that when different identity groups claim victimhood, the only way to resolve it is to fight it out.

All incoherent ideologies eventually run into this problem. That's why, when somebody like me creates a completely coherent ideological framework, it tends to spread very fast. For a budding demagogue, the quickest way to politically destroy your enemies is to point out inconsistancies in their worldview, and mine has no inconsistancies.

https://rdrama.net/post/129757/the-whites-have-noticed-that-the/3206467?context=8#context

BIPOC

My rhymes are fly, my beats are sick

My crew is big and it keeps getting bigger

That's cause Carpathianflorist is my neighbor