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:marseystarbucks: Starbucks removes 13 drinks from their menu, simplifying their offerings and making baristas lives easier. /r/starbucksbaristas are NOT HAPPY

https://old.reddit.com/r/starbucks/comments/1ix3hgm/starbucks_to_remove_13_drinks_from_its_menu/

								

								

The drinks being removed are literally all either milkshakes or teenage girl non-coffee drinks, including the Java Chip Frappuccino, the Iced Matcha Lemonade, the Royal English Breakfast Latte and the Chocolate Cookie Crumble Crème Frappuccino

Note that most of these drinks can still be ordered via customising existing drinks, this change is mostly menu simplification

/r/starbucks and /r/starbucksbaristas should be very happy about this - the two subreddits are constantly filled with baristas complaining about how many ridiculous drinks they have to make, and However theyre mad, and Lets try to understand why:


https://i.rdrama.net/images/17406444874PFgDE8bDJEOXw.webp

/r/legaladvice lol but go off i guess


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Its nasty and bland because it like only contains 20g added sugar instead of 40g added sugar (excluding literally any sugar thats in the other ingredients in the drink)??? American tastebuds have been destroyed


https://i.rdrama.net/images/1740644487TK5GGrKb3rQIEg.webp

If customers want a stupid drink then they have to build it themselves in the app and pay more for it, and Sounds like a win win


https://i.rdrama.net/images/1740644487-1C05P5tB1swlw.webp

omg! Youre not kidding anyone, youre still going to Starbucks no matter how much they charge you for your sugar slop :marseychonkerfoid:


https://i.rdrama.net/images/1740644487_xkkNyxI0Vq_Qw.webp

i feel like 1, and Train your staff better

2, and Itll be easier for them to make now that its listed as a base drink + modifiers rather than expecting a barista to know exactly how to build a Chocolate Cookie Crumble Crème Frappuccino

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"Hey, can I get a venti Iced White Chocolate Mocha Frappucino with 10 pumps of white mocha, extra ice, light whipped cream, 4 ristretto shots, and can you double-blend that? Oh, and add 5 pumps of vanilla syrup, caramel drizzle, mocha drizzle, extra caramel crunch topping, and make it with light oat milk. Can you also add cold foam made with almond milk, 2 pumps of sugar-free vanilla, and 1 scoop of matcha powder? Oh, and double-cup that with a tall straw and an extra hot sleeve on the side. Thanks!"

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That'll be $59.99 plus tip, Sir.

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Sure thing, bud.

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https://i.rdrama.net/images/1740688613n9xI9CPLhbV2NA.webp

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Do you want to donate $0.01 to a charity that imports more shitskins to the US?

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:marsey#protestyes:

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$59.99 then

I appreciate the hot sleeves for the iced drink, btw

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Why are you the guy in front of me every single time?

:#marseymagdump:

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I'm the one that says "I don't know the menu, I just want something large, hot, and with a vanilla flavor"

Then they call it out by whatever they rang up and I'm like ".... is that mine?"

Not gonna bother learning the bourgeoisie menu for a place I visit maybe once every two years. Last time was because I was literally installing an EV charger in their parking lot.

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You're just r-slurred bc they have a vanilla latte, it's not some secret menu shit. You can say "large" and theyll understand you, dont worry diva.

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What's a latte, and how does it differ from regular drip coffee

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Again proving your r-sluration

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pure black coffee misia :#marseycoffee:

go away with your fancy menu shit and addons like milk, vanilla & sugar you prediabetic freak

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It's a coffee but there's some bean juice called espresso and the vanilla

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It's espresso mixed :marseyshreddedmanlet: with milk foam and steamed milk. Vanilla latte :marseyautumn2: also has vanilla syrup :marseywock: mixed :marseyblackandwhite: in

https://i.rdrama.net/images/1740699909uE1ga8h2y4SHEw.webp

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Americano drinkers are subhuman.

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I drink Americanos when I have to go over seas and they don't have drip coffee.

Most accurate name for a drink imaginable.

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um @Sphereserf3232 please explain

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https://i.rdrama.net/images/1740681160EZeegh3s5kPWIQ.webp

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They had one in the hotel at a school trip in 2015

I spent my whole money for the trip on $7 coffees

never been back

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>"Small black Americano please"

>$3.95, hey that's a good price

>"Order for @BananaSlugToucher!"

>Where the frick is my dark skinned Latinx short stack slampig?

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We're all out of squatamalans, sir

:marseystarbucks:

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Can you sub in half and half Costa Rican? I'm actually tica intolerant but I have some Ticaide in my car.

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Don't forget my extra hot sleeve for my iced drink, wagie.


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I'm reading this in a video meeting and trying not to laugh so hard :shyyt:

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>This feels like it should be illegal somehow.

I'd love for /u/ryuu1ch1 to explain what law this could POSSIBLY be breaking, like even hypothetically

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Its breaks the woman's feeling law

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My go-to coffee order is a macchiato. But Starbucks made it more complicated because now I have to specify that I want a classic macchiato and not a Starbucks macchiato. I honestly don't know what a Starbucks macchiato is but every coffee shop now asks me if I want it like Starbucks. :marseyraging:

!cuteandvalid attention pls

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Only good thing at starbucks is matcha

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Hope that follows you to every corner of the earth.

Vacationing in Cairo:

You mean a Starbucks Macchiato?

No, a regular one.

Oh I'm sorry, I don't know how to make that.

😐


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https://media.tenor.com/roQyCCVCQL0AAAAx/inspector-gadget-cartoon.webp


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:marseyshy5:

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Starbucks macchiato probaby is just they put whipped cream and pumps of sugary sweetner into it.

I like to get hot chocolate from time to time and I have to clarify every time that I don't want whipped cream in it, they assume now that everyone does because fricking Starbucks started it

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whipped cream is terrible.

i once ate a whole tub thing of whip ceam and it didn't even satisfy me. one of the most disappointing food experiences in my life.

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Macchiatos are good, but yeah, coffee shops have to put up diagrams for their espressos because when people think "macchiato" they think some horrible milkshake abomination from Starbs instead of a tiny espresso shot with a splash of creme.

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Starbies Macchiato is essentially just half a glass of hot milk with a shot of espresso and milk foam and caramel drizzled on top.

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Even when they catch a break they make it a crises.

:#marseylaughpoundfist:

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Being able to customize your drink for free is fricktarded and starbies should be charging r-slurs up the wazoo for it.

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Theyre getting there, and You cant redeem stars to get literally any drink with unlimited modifiers anymore - like just basic coffees, and And now this change will make it prohibitively expensive for anyone to order a stupid milkshake

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I don't get why they even get milkshakes from starbucks.

I like milkshakes although they're absurdly bad for you so I only get one like every other year lmao, but you can get one from Coldstone Creamery and it'll taste much better than the starbucks shit (yes it will have 2000 calories).

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You know who likes milkshakes?

Ants

Holy frick I had a milkshake in the garbage can in my hotel room yesterday, came back after work and A N T C I T Y

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Ants get the fricking good shit when I'm finished with it. :marseycool:

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Not really related but also kinda is

https://i.rdrama.net/images/17406809762VH3ZbDOQkOAHQ.webp

I like comics

https://i.rdrama.net/images/17406809761k268dQOPp2b-A.webp

There's another one I can't find :(

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You can have the fricking milkshake.

The fricking ant gets the fricking ice-cube. :marseywink:

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my poor poor akwa...

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She makes 1 mill+ USD a year. She can afford it :marseyindignant:

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fat hand :marseychonker2:

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it isn't neccy free. if you get extra they charge. if you want man milk instead of 2% they don't (at least not me).

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I will never understand Starbucks. How fricking tough is it to buy a Mr Coffee and some sugar free creamer? I'll go to an actual coffee shop infrequently if I'm going to sit and work/network but people who stop at Starbucks as part of their morning routine are r-slurred

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Because people who are going to Starbucks don't order a normal coffee. It's white women who order a 1,500 calorie milkshake that vaguely tastes like coffee.

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Its the a e s t h e t i c

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:#marseystarbucks: :#marseygirlboss:

Omg! Like, lets go get some starbies, queen!

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I have a huge starbucks cup that I bought ages ago in an airport. Always have it in my car as a sign of superiority :marseycapitalistmanlet:

Never once bought starbucks after that

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Starbucks :marseygirlboss: is a status symbol :marseyokay: in India?

:#marseynotes:

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Nobody goes to Starbucks for coffee

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As a former partner :marseylgbtflag: frick those frappecinos. Annoying to make and clogged the line. Also not a single person ordered the matcha lemonade

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Matcha lemonade sounds like itd taste like shit

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frappichinos are the only good thing at starbucks.

make me my milkshake abd stop complaining.

and i always acted completely confused when they zaid short or grande or whatever. i wouldn't stop until they said small medoum or large, and if i heard thek repeat it whrn i went up to the window i wiuld start arguing again or say "maybe i should start over" and go through the line again

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There are millions of Americans spending $8+ a day on Starbies on credit cards they don't pay off every month. I'm not sure what my point is other than most people are r-slurred but the government needs to bring back debtors prisons or something for poors not paying off their credit cards and loading them up with stupid shit

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We should pass laws making it easier to get out from credit card debt.

Not because I care about people in CC debt, but because that's the only way you'll force those lenders to stop lending so much.

Same with student loans. Make new ones dischargeable under bankruptcy. The infinite money faucet would immediately shut off and colleges might need to actually give a shit about costs again.

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>graduate from college

>immediately declare bankruptcy

:nice:

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:#marseyagreefast:

I mean if you're a productive member of society you probably wouldn't want to tank your credit for 7 years over $20k in loans but it would 100% prevent lenders from loaning out $150k for some r-slur to attend private art school.

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I'd lick my own butthole if tuition was only $20k total. Thats what 1 year would cover when i went to uni a decade ago. Probably even worse now...

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Pretty sure the average student debt load at graduation is something around $20-$30k. You'd be surprised how low it is, the $100k+ people are insane outliers.

ofc those people then spend the next decade paying basically nothing on the loans while interest accrues and they wind up owing more than when they started.

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Im super confused by people who will only pay the interest on their loans and then wonder why their debt never gets less. Ive seen posts like that several times on social media, and it really makes you wonder why anyone still takes colleges seriously when people like that manage to get a degree there.

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I love the look of confusion I get from the wagie when I order a medium coffee (I always pretend not to know it's called a grande), as if they are silently asking me "are you sure you don't want that with 20oz of milk and sugar?"

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'Grande' is medium? :marseyconfused2:

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Yeah I think they call a small "tall". And it's fricking 12 oz.

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Starbuck broken

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lol

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This is trans-genocide.

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i've never been inside a starbucks. :smoke:

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You aren't missing much

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I think I have been in one once and just got a normal black coffee lol.

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i don't drink coffee and live so much in the middle of nowhere there's not even a starbucks

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Same.

Was shit, so ive never been there again. Worse than highway rest stop coffee.

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How much of a cute twink do you have to be to make being a starbucks wagie part of your identity lol

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/r/starbucksbaristas is a heck of a subreddit

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the whipped cream recipe: 4 pumps of sugar

great recipe lol!

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tbh, i'd probably hate this change if i were a barista. i assume each sugarslop drink on the menu has a dedicated button on the POS screen. they're probably going to remove those and make the wagies manually add and remove individual ingredients to build these drinks if customers keep ordering them.

seeing these drink names, idk why they keep pretending to be a coffee shop. to maximize profits, they should drop all coffee from the menu and use the counter space it takes up to add a soft serve machine and a build-your-own cupcake bar.

that's what the customers (white women) really want.

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They should just have a horse trough full of milk and one of those giant bags of sugar.

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They want to pretend that it's healthy. Strip away the pretense and they'd have the same clientele as McDonald's.

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!wagies

McDonald Aryan win again.

We don't care at all about price increases, it doesn't affect me. The soyista feels emotional over the fact someone else says more, I feel emotional when someone pays less

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starbucks embodies everything I hate about modern life actually, they also even try to influence more people into ending WFH so workers drink their slop

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My sister works from home and yet still drives to Starbucks to get her sugar slop

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it's about asserting dominance over the wagies. putting in a group :marseymeangirls: delivery :marseyunabomber2: order for 5 complicated :marseyavril1: starbies drinks makes the day of the moped wagie :marseywaiter: and the coffee :marseystarbucks: wagie :marseyneet: harder.

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Just drink a shot of espresso like an adult.

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ive gotten really into cold brew. I buy this organic concentrste that comes in a glass bottle and i just need a few gulps in the morning and its the same as 2-3cups of coffee and taste really good.

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Cold brew is great. If you find a shop that does it right (48ish hour cold steep) it really brings out the pretentious "flavour notes" that everyone talks about in coffee. Really solid stuff

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i dont even go to a shop. They sell it $9.99 a liter at my grocery store

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Do yourself a favor and get some from a place that knows what they're doing sometime. It's leagues better.

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true, butt not good enough for me to have to leave my home and pay 5 times as much for it

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Grocery store cold brew tastes better than any cafe coffee I've ever had before. I'm scared at the thought of how good real cold brew would be.

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>organic

gay

i just carry korean :marseyjoseon: instant coffee :marseymug: packets with me and put it in every time i refill my water :marseyaquagrunt:

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So these loser baristas put in their hours at StarBucks, then spend their free time bitching and moaning about StarBucks for hours on Reddit for free? Why?


https://files.catbox.moe/y2zrro.png

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the fanciest drink I get at Tardbuxx is an Americano, no cream no sugar

!deadBIPOCstorage come to a coffee thread

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Iced Matcha Lemonade

:puke#:

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what the frick is this i swear to god i spent like 9 seconds on this fricking subreddit and i think i just lost all capabilities of thinking like i fricking hate everyone that thinks that animesexuality is valid, i fricking swear to god MoSt OpPrEsED PeOPlE SHUT THE FRICK UP YOURE LL METALLY UNSTABLE AND you should all go fricking socialise, you hall probably have neck beards, are 35, fat and r-slurred with no hope of reproducing, youre like the only reason why people cant be ok on the internet these days, like you get mad over things that are justified, no president is animexsexual, and if they saw this sub im pretty sure the cold war would start all 0ver again and you would all be dead, and yeah, everyone would be dead but atleast its better than living in a world of people who think a motherfricking PIxELS on a screen are a reason to masturbate for 60 hours a week. like your fricking search history is probably so deranged that even a therapist would start having menta issue. you all have 3d women but i dont get it. your parents are probably so fricking idssapointed in you all and i fricking ahree, get a fricking reality check right now please, take some time of the frickig internet or else youll be the reason your family cries themselves to sleep. you will never get a girlfriend because youre too bsy flirting with someone that doesn't exits, get a grip of yourselfs man. i know you can be a good person but holy shit fi i hear another fricking "anime sexuality is vaild" im going to fricking hit someone wit a chair. youre like dream sexuals but worse, which so fricking impressive, i just cant with you all, youre the reason why everyone likes the early 200os so much. because we didnt have stupid fricking idiots like you all. you also water down shit so much to the point where its just an adjective, like wwii or 9/11 you all are just botched u. go frick yourself please, thats the only way youll reproduce, by asexual means or mitosis, i cant with people now a days, go die in a hole.

tldr; youre all fricking r-slurred and should start making friends

Snapshots:

https://old.reddit.com/r/starbucks/comments/1ix3hgm/starbucks_to_remove_13_drinks_from_its_menu/:

/r/starbucks:

/r/starbucksbaristas:

/r/legaladvice:

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Im glad I hate coffee so I never have to interact with these r-slurs

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