EFFORTPOST protip: click the little diagonal arrows below the post from the thread list to read without awards rDrama presents: THE RDRAMA 1ST BIRTHGAY BASH

p.s. I asked Aevann to write this post since it’s his site so that would make sense, but he was like “i cant write more than a sentence can u do it pls” so that’s why you’re getting a carp-centric post. I’m sorry. This was NOT BY CHOICE and I’m actually not sorry at all. Now, back to the history lesson!

So. Anyway. Back when we first started, this was literally just a straight fork of Ruqqus. And Ruqqus fucking SUCKED. Didn’t even have the most basic functionality. Want to DM someone? Too bad lol, DMs are antithetical to free speech. Emojis? Why? What do emojis have to do with anti-censorship? Followers that actually do something? No, that’s annoying, go to (((YouTube))) if you want to actually be able to see your followers. Why would you want visible profile pics or animated anything? No one wants that, it gets in the way of WORDSWORDSWORDS about freedom. And on and on and on. Seriously, there was fucking nothing here. You couldn’t even see voters or anything. Downvotes subtracted karma and hurt ranking. You weren’t even allowed to have a pfp without like 500 karma. No flairs! No colors! Name changes for $20! No leaderboards, shop, or awards!

Fortunately, I was around to yell enough to get these oversights remedied, and Aevann is freakishly talented enough to make them happen almost as soon as I typed them. And you were all as useless as ever. Remember when I asked you for emojis? And you provided bullshit on Discord and on-site? So I had to provide them myself. This would become a recurring theme on rDrama.

For a trip down memory lane, to the pre-shop, pre-Marsey era, check out this “welcome, dramafugees!” thread from the day after Reddit gigajannies blocked our domain and forced the emojiposting on the sub. Virtually all of you waited until this point to come here. Dicks.

Have a look at @Joan’s adorable first thread and Aevann’s deeply informative response. Watch him try to set rules for you little rapscallions like some kind of fucking square. Check out his thread that finally forced the migration from Reddit to here, Well we’ve really bungled it now! AKA Incredibly Serious Sanctionsgate.

Other interesting early-developmental threads:

The first attempt at Marsey OC

@K31 produces the first viable Marsey OC!!!!

rdrama.net presents: THEMES! 🤯

The time we got AHS to link to us so we changed the link to Bardfinn dox

MySpace meets rdrama.net - introducing PROFILE SONGS

Reddit madmins blocked one of our domains and banned r/drama from typing about us, so here’s a QR code

Aevann once wanted to let you guys make money here but you emphatically said no

rdrama.net is now blocked in Saudi Arabia

Bulk-harassing you Redditors to get you to migrate here

That time we almost got a train to shave xer cat so we’d remove a thread here

The Grift Begins

Ancestral homeland archives are now available

We just passed 1000 Marseys

Some other highlights from over the last year, in no particular order:

The beginning of the 3000+ comment powerjannie leak saga. This is what PUT US ON THE MAP.

@TracingWoodgrains’ Medium article about abortion bounty hunters and how stupid the media is which gave us a much-needed toe in the water for that media.

Speaking of the LAMEstream media, one of many examples of how much cooler than them we are.

rDrama baits a fucking Congressfoid.

Continued appropriation of incel culture presents the finest bastardization of chadfishing ever: Pizzafishing!

@Landlord_Messiah notices AHS noticing us and brings forth hilarity.

The first of like 64 Kylie threads that appeared in under 20 minutes after her acquittal.

@HeyMoon almost singlehandedly brings communities.win to its knees.

@UraniumDonGER’s kino as fuck murder of the first 3D printed Marsey.

Recently, the ACLU took notice of rDrama

@Mom begins the tradition of Marseyfying fine art.

/u/BelleAriel makes an attempt on @arsey’s life.

@kindness (lol rip bozo) tracks down Marsey’s real dad.

@YALLAHblessYoTraplord finds our first media appearance - in Vice 🤢

The time we got delisted by Bing and DuckDuckGo.

Fartmode and its consequences have been a blessing for the autistic race.

There was that whole /r/place megadrama last month that is far too much to list, but lol Chtorrr got doxxed for Marsey erasure.

Our amazing interview with Wired, facilitated by our very own @Lv999_Lich_King!

The handicapable creator of child porn + terrorism haven 8chan declares war on rDrama.

When Gabby claimed another victim after Brianna’s failed to protect us, too.

There have been a lot more. It was an extremely busy, incredibly dramatic year. We’ve appeared numerous times in major media publications, we have a large thread about us on KF, Reddit has blocked dozens of our redirect domains, we’ve terrorized everything from Reddit to Twitter to Instagram and beyond. We went from 0-purpose “rep” (karma) to the robust dramacoin and marseybux economy we all know and love now, with an incredibly cool shop to spend it in. We have Houses (these will be fleshed out very soon, codecels are almost ready to deploy the first phase of this very elaborate system), we have video hosting, we have chat, we have everything and the kitchen sink that could be expected of an ancient online community and we’ve gotten it in less than a year. We have mountains of unique and amazing bullshit features. We are the best.

And it’s all been possible thanks to you bored, out of shape midwits. Thanks for that. A few of you are alright.

General autistic number fetish stuff

• We are currently serving more then 1,330,000 pageviews per week. More than half of these are burgers, followed by bongs at a respectable 12%. Pajeets view about 44k pages per week. Please put your sisters in touch with me. I can get green cards for your whole family.

• The mobile master race has become the dominant majority, outpacing desktopcels by around 15%. Get dead, boomers.

• The downside to that is that poors with Androids outnumber iOS chads by about 2:1. For now. We’re considering the Truth Social route of blocking all traffic not originating with an Apple device.

• We serve just under 200,000 unique visitors per month.

• There are 90 million requests per month.

• Most of our data is cached and we’re largely text and lightweight webp-based, but we still serve 3 terabytes of data per month.

• Despite these huge numbers, there are only about 2,000 people who post every week. You have a very large audience and I’m glad to see we’re making the most of it with our recent media appearances. Seriously, great work.

• Average daily threads are around 300, average daily comments are around 6500.

• Prior to the gift (below), we have 8,696,999 dramacoin in circulation. Total sales in the shop are a whopping 8,967,353 dramacoin, marseybux unknown but it’s well in the millions.

• We have over 13 million comment votes holy shit. 194,000 of these are downvotes.

• 16,577 awards have been given out

• We have yalled 1,608 threads and 9,067 comments for absolutely no pay.

• This is the top thread of all time, and this amazing comment is, according to you all, the greatest thing ever posted to rDrama.

So, happy birthday rDrama! Our gifts to you are as follows:

• 1000 dramacoin has been deposited into each of your accounts (provided you have > 250 truescore)

• Double dramacoin weekend, three days!

• These SICK party hats on every avatar!

• The FIRST BIRTHGAY BASH badge by the incredible @McCoxmaul, who also wrote and performed this absolute banger you’re currently hearing on this page:

And, finally, three new permanent awards:

• Fireworks: It makes fireworks appear. More awards = more fireworks. Simple.

• Confetti: It makes confetti appear. Does not stack to accommodate our incredibly poor users and their ancient devices.

• Stripper Cake: it’s a secret!

Lootboxes are returning for the holigay weekend. Remember to try to buy 150 total for those three slick badges. This time around, lootboxes contain a random assortment of five (5) cosmetic awards. ALL cosmetic awards, not just the new ones. Lootboxes are 1000dc each, while the value of tbeir contents range from 1500-2500dc. You’re literally losing money by not buying these.

The badges for lootbox purchases now grant a permanent 1% discount per tier on all shop items, it DOES stack with other discounts (paypig and spender badges)

HUGE thanks to @geese_suck and @TwoLargeSnakesMating for these beautiful new awards. Snakes is going to be rolling out a MASSIVE update soon, and he’s also a fancy new Cabal-tier uberjanny, so be sure to be extra nice to him.

Our new roster of 19 birthgay banners are by @sandkwinn, @Dramamine, @Sleepy_Major_General and @HeyMoon and they are MAGNIFICENT. You will see nothing but these until Monday, at which time they will be added to the permanent cycle of all banners. Jeff is also working on a very special present for everyone, but that’s still a secret 🤫

Happy birthgay rDrama! And thank you again to all of our wonderful users, and even the (many, many, many, many) not-so-wonderful ones. You’re all beautiful.

I love you

xoxo carp 💋

———

And a VERY SPECIAL thank you to all of our beautiful sexy paypigs who enable the site to exist, to survive and to thrive. If you’d like to join their illustrious ranks and get all the benefits inherent in paypiggery:

Subscribe on Gumroad! - each tier’s bonuses are explained in detail there. (we don't have access to your payment info, it's all managed by gumroad)

We also accept dirty filthy creepto:

BITCOIN: bc1qs5hamvytnkllgml89flzhcyt3l4a3u4gs8lvvp

ETHERUM/BAT: 0xBBf1043A60C6894Db17b3118CA960FFDF84c9eea

MONERO: 44hdEpAYXkB2VwkWz6LR9zZhcaG8zrUzn21aPy1HSdcsjT51fPdpMV8hkf5QQdHKs9VsAs3so5Vq5easdBbzmcifGcqfxfw