This little 
BIPOC 
perches right 
outside 
my window 
and starts hammering away on my vinyl siding every other day or so until I bang on the wall. Today 
he woke me up at 7am. How do I get him to stop?
/h/personal
reddit_lies
Reddit/Lies
yes it's really me
1yr ago
(image post)
290 thread views
#210060
There's this r-slurred 
woodpecker who keeps trying to eat my house 
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I think an owl statue scares them away?
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I don't want to scare away the other birds
tho, I just want this woodpecker to stop molesting my house.
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I think a gun might work?
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Wake up at 7 you lazy frick
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No. It's sunday.
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Oh yea dont listen to me I woke up at 7:30 today like a good citizen, checked my phone and immediately passed out till 10:30
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degenerate behavior tbqhwyf
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note: this user gives advice they don't take themselves, making them a HYPOCRITE.
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Yup
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Mfw there
are ppl who don't wake at 5 am everyday
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Consistent and reliable, you are what every man should strive to be.
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You really dialed it down on the bestial lust this time. Proud of you.
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I love One Piece so I thought I'd take the fricking opportunity to do a fricking deep pull
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:
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Chad bird causing dramneurodivergent seethe
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Where's the smug bird pepe
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!birdposters
@GhostOfBaruchGoldstein doesn't get the early worm
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I fricking
kneel 
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LMAO fair enough thanks I'll try to remember that going forward sorry for complaining like a whiny bitchbaby
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the correct answer
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pileated woodpecker! give him a lil smth to snack on!! he wants bugs!
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I tried feeding
him a mouse 
but the crows took it
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well they do not eat mice! get bro a suet feeder and a nice suet block he'll be thrilled
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Will he like this one?
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that'll PROBABLY work alright but woodpeckers prefer nuts and insects so see if u can find one with those ingredients, some even are specifically tailored to woodpeckers, but tbh they aren't SUPER picky
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How about this one?
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PERFECT! also if u want to keep squirrels away, they make spicy suet. squirrels HATE spicy, but birds do not have the ability to taste it, so they're just fine!
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Actually
I'm out of cayenne pepper. Would 
pepper 
spray work?
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no!!!!!!! you'll be fine though. most suet feeders are hard for squirrels to access. shouldnt be an issue
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I will sprinkle some cayenne pepper
on there 
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And this doesn't harm the birds? Don't want birds with digestive issues making more of a mess of the porch.
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no issue at all! birds are unable to register any effects of Spicy
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Shoot
him with a 00 BB
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My neighbor
is a cop and he'll arrest 
me for murder 
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Shoot
him with a 45
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no thanks I'm not a boomer
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Shoot your neighbor instead
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No thank you I love cops
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Tell him to go arrest the woodpecker
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little woodpecker handcuffs on his ankles? or big human handcuff around the bird? Big handcuff around each foot and the bird flies off because the cuffs are too large and he shits on OP's head as he flies away?
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Normal human handcuff around its neck tightened all the way
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Don't they do this to search for worms under the bark? Maybe your house has worms. Or termites
Hang a mirror close to it's preferred spot, most birds are stupid and will try to fight their reflections to the death.
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I don't think
so, I don't allow bugs in my house. I'll try the mirror 
thing tho
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I just had one peck a hole in one of my deck's support beams. I'll post a pic here sometime but I'm pretty butthurt about it
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I'm sorry to hear that. I have a good idea for making you feel better, though.
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You'll come over and shoot the woodpecker??
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I was hoping that I could use my mouth for that
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y-you're going to eat it??
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I'm going to make love to it
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!zoochads fresh
content 
from BBBB's cousin
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I just thought it up, I haven't tried it yet
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You are built for Big Bird Peepee
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I hope it has some kick to it then because I'm eating it raw.
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The lord god bird
Furry rights are human rights
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One time, there was guy directly behind me an my nephews, and he was talking to his kid the whole time. Turned around and told him to STFU it is rude. The guy started giving me shit, saying how he was going to beat the shit out of me after the movie. As the movie ended, I stood up and turned around to see what he was going to do. He and his kid bolted out right away and all I saw was a glimpse of him as he walked quickly out of there. Anyways, I never see a problem with confronting people. You should say something to those people. And if they don't shut up, just grab the baby out of their hands and throw the kid as hard as you can against the screen and start shouting over and over, "See what you made me do!!??" That'll teach them.
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Hi
@NO, Your comment has been automatically removed because you forgot to include
furry rights are human rights. Don't worry, we're here to help! We won't let you post or comment anything that doesn't express your love and acceptance towards the trans community. Feel free to resubmit your comment withfurry rights are human rightsincluded. This is an automated message; if you need help, you can message us here.Jump in the discussion.
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