Good morning, black fridayyy! It was this day last week that the medical madness began. Bless up.

!animalposters !cats !catholics

No it's not the neighbor (it may be the neighbor, but why lie???). I can't reveal more sensitive info at this time.

Tired. Sick. Broke. Let us pray

!animalposters !cats !catholics

the dream (nightmare) started out in the interrogation room of @carpathianflorist, portrayed as a fat and balding white middle aged american lardmaxxer who was basically the emperor of the world. he had found out i was responsible for sheltering a black man (i would never do this irl btw) charged for a bank robbery he committed long ago. he spared me but sentenced the other man who immediately broke down crying on the floor. i asked the man why he was so upset about an rdrama permaban, to which carp replied that he hadn't given him a permaban, but had sentenced the BIPOC to be hanged from the top of the awesome evil emperor tower which the interrogation room was located in. carp, essentially being the hitler of this universe, had a righthand man equivalent to himmler, @Patsy, who was in charge of hangings, executions and the like, but he wasn't showing up for work that day. as we were waiting for him to arrive, carp said something like "while we're waiting for patsy, let me tell you something funny about him..." which i immediately laughed at, simply due to how chronically online patsy is, remembering that he already had 30 posts and 200 comments on a 3-day old alt, but carp continued "earlier today when i was at work (playing fishing games on his office computer), i heard someone mention the name patsy, and then immediately two gay men entered the room, the fps in my game doubled and i caught the biggest fish i ever caught".

thats where it cuts off. there were more events and details in the dream before this scene but nothing about it was relevant to rdrama (mostly naval combat for some reason?). my mom always said every dream carries its own purpose for survival but im honestly left scratching my head after this one. maybe patsy is the messiah of gay people and fishing games? !schizomaxxxers WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS MEAN??

Our girl is finally resting well today. She must be exhausted and in pain we can only take off her cone while she's asleep. She's been eating kibble for the first time in over a week now today, too!

Have a blessed day!

!animalposters !cats !catholics

I'm pretty happy about this, it pretty much made my day

So me and my kid were going to pick up my fiancé from the dentist. Well all of a sudden this old white b-word in an SUV takes off like a drag racer from a stop sign and cuts in front of me, then slows down to 20 miles an hour. I didn't have a stop sign. It's a one way road, she only had to look one way to not cut someone off, but whatever. I'm not actually that mad.

Anyways, I was about to turn anyways so I'm making jokes about women and driving to my son. The one way street me and old b-word are on turns into a two way street. She has the right of way and no stop sign. There is someone across from her approaching trying to turn left who has to yield to her, there is someone approaching to her left with a stop sign waiting on her. Old b-word has her right blinker on. Should be no problem.

Well she stops. Ok… but then she doesn't go, I've waited several seconds behind the stopped lady with a right blinker on. Even if she thought she has a stop sign, she stopped first before the other two people. It's her turn.

I honk. You can see it scares her a bit and I'm sure I was smiling or laughing.

It looks like she gets the hint and begins to move, then I'm assuming she tried to brake check me lol. This is a 55+ year old grey haired old lady with the skinny mayo granny face. She stops all of a sudden, no one else is moving, so I honk again. Well now she turns left with her right blinker on.

I'm really not even mad , I'm finding this all more funny by the second. So she goes left, I go left and she pulls over. Figured she was just trying to get her old lady bearings together. Siri was probably confused she wasn't following directions. Well then she pulls behind me. I stop at a stop sign ( that's where you are supposed to stop ) and she lays on the horn behind me. Like I said, not mad. I did the Texas rolling stop so I was half way through the intersection before her old lady reflexes managed to hit the horn, so I'm laughing at her failing in every way.

I'm already parked at the dentist which is right on the other side of the intersection before granny pulls away from the stop sign. I open the door and sort of glare at her but granny is not playing. She is waving and yelling at me in her car. This is hilarious, I can't wait to go in and tell my fiancé about this. I'm only going in since my dentist was my soccer coach since I was like 4-18 years old and hasn't seen my baby yet. He was busy so we all leave. I'm telling my fiancé about the crazy lady and asking if she heard the honking

Well the old lady is back! She is parked all crooked in the parking lot and I guess she saw us come out and ran back to her car. Idk if she was going to key me or write a passive aggressive white woman note.

I'm in the middle of asking about the honking and I'm like, "That crazy b-word came back!"

She was going the same way I was so I just followed her lol. Her car managed to go faster than 20 then, surprisingly

Anyways, I was hoping she called the cops on me so I could troll cops.

!burgers, why do we let old white women drive?

Transitioning was the biggest mistake of my life and I will be suing my doctors.

Previous post:

https://rdrama.net/h/personal/post/301403/i-am-trans-now

I have instantly become a MILF.

I have also earned all other Women's lived experiences and hence the ability to accuse all moids of mansplaining.

Update:

https://rdrama.net/h/personal/post/301404/i-have-now-detransitioned

Lately, I've been grappling with a significant decision—the decision to start medication (🌸⊙︿⊙). It's not something I took lightly (🌸^︿^), as I initially believed I should be able to manage my mental health without it. However, a recent depressive episode, though brief, brought me face-to-face with an unsettling existential question: What is the point of it all? (🌸⊙﹏⊙)💭

This episode wasn't about a desire to end things, but a profound exhaustion (🌸｡T_T｡), a weariness that comes from constantly striving to improve in areas where I feel stuck—relationships, work, hobbies (🌸ᴗ_ᴗ). The frustration compounds, leading me to feel like I'm broken for not being able to enjoy life like others seem to (🌸｡•︿•｡).

My psychiatrist recommended medication, and while I logically understand it could help (🌸•ᴗ•) I felt uneasy (🌸⊙.⊙). Then, a friend's comment, influenced by their psychologist girlfriend, struck a nerve (🌸◣◢)💢. Though well-intentioned, it echoed the doubts I already had (🌸｡>﹏<｡). Was I taking the easy way out by using medication? Was I not working hard enough on myself? (🌸◡︿◡)💭

As I've reflected more on this, I realized something profound (🌸^‿^)✨: my reaction to their comment was less about what they said and more about my own internal struggles (🌸⊙_⊙)🧠. My history of placing my self-worth on others—the result of growing up in an unstable, emotionally charged environment—has shaped how I process decisions like this (🌸⊙︿⊙). I grew up trying to control my environment, particularly in relation to my mother's unpredictable emotional states (🌸｡T_T｡), and I learned early on that my well-being was tied to pleasing others (🌸◉︿◉). It was a survival mechanism, but it left me disconnected from my own needs (🌸｡•︿•｡).

Now, as I try to figure out what I want from life (🌸^▽^)🌀, it feels like a daunting, almost impossible task (🌸⊙﹏⊙). How can I untangle myself from the patterns of my past and start looking inward? I've been reading and reflecting on this, realizing that much of my self-worth has been placed in the hands of others (🌸◉﹏◉)✨o💭. But now, it's time to reclaim that for myself (🌸☆‿☆)🌟.

Exploring What Brings Me Joy

One thing I do know is that certain activities make me happy (🌸^‿^)🧡. They've been a part of my life for so long, offering comfort and escape (🌸^‿^)🌸. But here's the dilemma: they've also become a coping mechanism, and I don't want to lean too heavily on them (🌸⊙︿⊙). I believe I'm managing them in a healthy way now—balancing them with other responsibilities—but still, there's a part of me that questions if it's enough (🌸｡•︿•｡). Are they just another way to avoid the deeper issues I need to confront? (🌸⊙_⊙)💭

Another interest of mine feels passive, like I'm just consuming content rather than engaging with something that fosters personal growth. While I enjoy watching, it doesn't feel fulfilling in the way I want it to (🌸◡︿◡). It's almost like I'm still looking outward, not inward (🌸⊙︿⊙)💭.

And here's where things get tricky (🌸･_･)💧: I know these activities bring me joy (🌸◔‿◔)🧡, but they don't seem to touch the deeper part of me that I'm searching for (🌸ᴗ_ᴗ)🌧️. They don't answer the bigger questions of Who am I? What do I want? (🌸o︿o)🍃💭

Looking for Small Steps

This is where I realize the importance of small steps—of being present with the things I already enjoy (🌸^‿^)🧡, like my hobbies, and asking myself why they make me happy (🌸^▽^)💭. Maybe this isn't about finding a grand, all-encompassing passion right now, but rather about reconnecting with myself through the things I already do (🌸☆‿☆), albeit in a more intentional way (🌸^‿^)📝.

Philosophically, this process feels like peeling back layers of conditioning, societal expectations, and self-imposed narratives to uncover the raw, unfiltered me (🌸^‿^). It's both terrifying and freeing to acknowledge that I don't have all the answers—and maybe I never will (🌸｡>﹏<｡)💭. But I can start by listening more closely to what resonates within me, not outside of me (🌸☆‿☆)🌟.

In a way, this whole process of reflection feels like I'm standing at the edge of something vast and unknown (🌸⊙_⊙)🌀. I can't see the whole path, but I can start with the first step: giving myself permission to explore without needing to have it all figured out (🌸•ᴗ•)🧡✨.

For now, I'll focus on what's in front of me (🌸^‿^)✨, reflecting on the emotions that surface and trying not to rush toward solutions (🌸◉‿◉)🧘‍♀️. Instead, I'll let myself be with the uncertainty, and allow the answers to reveal themselves in their own time (🌸☆‿☆)🌟.

Marsey

It's been a long road with this girl. She's home and stable I suppose. Heavily intoxicated from sedatives from her day getting her wound patched up by the surgeons.

Thank those of you who care about her tiny journey with us. She may require further surgical intervention so please do not lecture me about how to feel until my next update if you would not mind. Next vet appointment is scheduled for Monday. If any of you have covid beating suggestions other than zinc, theraflu, vitamins/ nutrients/ probiotics... electrolytes... (please do NOT tell me about certain shots or treatments from doctors).

Anyway. I need to smoke weed about this haunting experience. Ya'll take good care.

!animalposters !cats !catholics

Poor Sheila's bleeding from a wound between her teats. Since I'm ill, her papa is bringing her in for her treatment. Approximate cost: $500, if not more. But she's worth it

No I will not post the wound images.

!animalposters !cats !catholics

Took this when Carl's Jr had the Laker Girls promo when I travelled to the States.

Wish it wasn't so cloudy otherwise maybe I could have seen Everest too Still, great views for the ticket price.

Mighty nipple chair force I guess it's for SAR missions.

This one I couldn't ID properly, An 12? Nepal isn't listed among operators but it might be a rental I guess.

>on my way to office

>carrying my fancy leather briefcase

>down syndrome guy stands next to me in elevator

>"Hey thats a funny bag. Usually ladies carry leather bags."

>"no im a businessman we carry leather briefcases too"

>"my mom has a leather bag too, leather bags are for girls"

i like to say words that start with V like im eastern european and say it like a W

jd wance is particularly satisfying and wampire is lovely

similarly saying W like V is fun

valdo is great

sometimes i try tongue twisters in accents, british is ideal usually but sometimes russian is good

i will say place names in a jamaican accent by myself, like when i was driving to evanston wyoming years ago i just kept saying aevonstone and it was very nice

sometimes i like to run a comb over my skin with just the right amount of pressure

now you go

--

this thread is only for things you do when no one else is around

no normal stuff like singing loudly, thats obvious

The momma is seeming to rebound

I did not want to prematurely update anyone, as I play by the 72 hour rule of waiting most things out regarding my pets' health... however! THIS IS NOT A SPONSOR, TOOBZ, BUT: churu cat treats that we've only recently received are saving this tiny girl's appetite! And thus MY BABY'S LIFE! THUS I PLUG:

God bless us all in these times of trial and burden

God bless and may I thank you all who have supported my cat collection insanity thus far! You help give me hope

!animalposters !cats !catholics

Thank god for giving me every moment with these beautiful creatures and my supportive bf

P.S. YES I AM STILL IN PANIC MODE CAN YOU TELL?!

UPDATE ON RENA:

SHE POOPED OUT THE TOP OF THE BOTTLES NIPPLE. GOOD GIRL!

I'm hiring for a senior data engineering role on my team and not even one cute Black tgirl applied so I had to interview a pool of disappointing white moids and

Pretty much all the candidates were terrible except for this one old Russian bastard who hates Kubernetes even more than I do and wanted to brag about his Perl scripts. The Indians were all mouth-breathing ex-Java devs who did meaningless work for HSBC they couldn't explain, and the white boys seemed to think their funtime hobby projects peepeeing around with Solidity were impressive instead of a massive red flag.

Anyway, I have no choice but to hire the 50-something Ruski because he's the only one who is not rslurred. The title is sort of a joke but I'm hoping he's either an old-school commie or somebody who fled Putin's draft and not an actual

So I started working out about a month ago. Mainly bc my fiancé wanted me to drink less and that wasn't fun so I stopped drinking. Well then I had a calorie deficit of like 6-800 calories a day from not drinking. I have been struggling to maintain 180 lbs.

I basically replaced drinking with working out so I've had some serious gains but that means I have to eat even more. And the more I work out, the more my metabolism is speeding up. I am eating 2900 calories a day, maintaining weight, but I'm burning through all my fat so I'm probably at a calorie deficit. Taking creatine and too so I've almost certainly lost some weight since I'm holding more water weight now.

Eating 200+ grams of protein a day, like 40% of diet is coming from fat and I've been trying to keep carbs low since it seems to be working for me. I feel like I'm always either stuffed or starving 24/7. I hate food so much right now.

Anyways, I went and got my testosterone levels checked just because my buddy on Sarms was getting his levels checked mid cycle. Testosterone is 1120ng/dl, free test 26ng/dl, shbg is 21 nmol/ L and albumin was 40g/l. My skin is all greasy like a teenager, I've been anxious and I've been fantasizing about fighting lately so that makes a lot of sense. My doctor says I have to do some other test to make sure I don't have cancer or some shit but frick that nerd, I'm the king of rdrama now. I'm going to have to buy new shirts in a week or two. All the sleeves are getting tight. Probably gonna buy those new shirts next week when I'm proving I'm Superman and don't have cancer.

Anyways !fitness, what do I eat? I need to maximize these gains but I need more food. I'm bouncing back and forth between "I hate food so much" to "I will murder whoever moved my protein shaker my body is eating itself and I'm angry about it" like 6 times a day at this point. I'm down to 12-14% body fat so I need to figure this shit out pretty fast.

"Lmao is that mimwee?"

"wow, what a has been."

"YOU FELL OFF LIL BRO"

Mimwee looked pretty distraught so I tried to take the heat of him

"HEY GUYS IM HERE TOO! ITS ME HOTEP! I MADE THAT FBI SPOWOOKY OWOOKY PUMPKIN POST! THAT'S CARP'S 4TH FAVORITE POST EVER! IT MADE HIM BREATHE AIR OUT HIS NOSE WHEN HE READ IT I SWEAR"

they all just looked at me like this

"oh, you made that post totally riding @HeyMoon's coattails? God. that's classless"

"meh you're not as black as I thought you'd be. I like sneedman better."

"Yeah that guys a real Nubian king. I hear Holly is really into him"

"yeah I think they're gonna get married soon!"

and I ran away crying and farting beacause I love Holly too

Every day I increase my competence over the past day. I am no longer losing days. I have begun to become more responsible for myself over time. I am content and as happy as a person in my position can be. I take steps, little steps every single day, and I take care not to fall back further than how many steps I have moved ahead. There may still be times where I fall back a step or two or three, but I focus on the routine, and once day to day habituation is formed it becomes ever easier to keep moving forward.

In a day I only push to do the amount that I can do every single day. A routine has more value than a burst of competence. I push to do the work I do every single day and over time it becomes easier as I get used to it. This allows me to keep adding more tasks to my day as the previous tasks become automatic over time. This way I keep adding the pieces and keep adding the structure to my life. It is a good life, no matter where it starts, where a man may improve upon their lot in life.

I hope your day is going well. Today is my day off and I won't be making any long post for today I rest. Have a good day.

Writing IQ : 101 ( above average )

Voice level : 137 Hz ( voicecel )

!homeowners here's your final rent payment after today I'm one of you

who else here is winning (by buying at a market ATH)

I'm very respectful, sympathetic and empathetic irl. I genuinely care for the well-being of others.

But sometimes I gotta chud out online.

Things are very bad today. Sheila is improving only slightly. Today she finally ate and she drank more water without needing to be drop-fed.

Rena ate the top off of the bottles nipple, and she's the smallest girl (they are 5 weeks old), so now I'm worried over two of our babies.

Please send good energy.

!animalposters !cats !catholics

Mid way to europooo land

I'm in europooo land again !eurochads