Dalke printed out top secret documents, and after leaving, he offered to sell them for $85,000 to an individual he believed was a Russian agent

For 85k why not just fricking go to work instead? I'm the laziest person in the world and even I'm not this pathetic.

I can't stop thinking about it.

Auriane Nathalie Laisne was on a Tik Tok ghost hunting mission in Italy when her blood drained body was found in an abandoned church – and cops think could have been a human sacrifice.

A while ago, my friends and I were theorizing about who was more likely to believe in ghosts, when I stumbled upon a fascinating discovery. From a sample size of ten episodes of ghost hunters, I found that fat people are more likely to believe in ghosts. In one episode, a woman was talking about getting sexually assaulted by a ghost, and she was so fat we all knew it wasn't true. Testing my brilliant hypothesis, I have issued this poll below:

I believe in ghosts, and I am:

The answer, is YES

https://mitechnews.com/guest- columns/congressman-warned-riots-would-erupt-if-truth-got-out-about-ufos/

They want the authority to spy on the Mexican drug cartels inside Mexico the same way that they do with other terrorists.

I can see how this might be abused, but these guys are killing several times more Americans each year than have been killed by every Muslim terrorist attack in our history. It's a bit silly to give them a pass just because in addition to shooting people and chopping off their heads they also sell fentanyl. But congress for some reason is always reluctant to do anything effective against drug trafficking.

This is a good summary of everything we know so far. Basically during the Cold War the Austrians had a tacit understanding with both sides that they could do cloak and dagger shit against each other in Vienna as long as they didn't get out of control. The scandal now is that lately the Russians have been breaking the rules by spying against Austria itself and running assassination plots from there.

One of the more bizarre parts of the story is how deeply involved the company Wirecard was. They were a payment processor or something and the darling of the Eurotrash high tech world, a rare case of a company that could compete with Silicon Valley and Asia. It turned out it was a scam and the management had been working for the Russians. When their house of cards started to collapse they stole everything and fled to Russia.

We're now learning that the CEO of Wirecard was doing James Bond villain shit in Vienna, personally meeting with his spies in the Austrian glowiesphere to receive stolen USB drives and stuff. Even Shkreli isn't this cool.

We The People power was loud and clear at the celebration of America’s Future 78th Anniversary at Mar-a-Lago on March 28. Musicians and American patriots Jimmy Levy and the Trump Latinos performed, Vivek Ramaswamy was presented with the Fearless Fighter For Freedom award, and the… pic.twitter.com/iAKdcmMXUK

— America's Future USA (@Amerifuture) April 2, 2024

Article.

Also DDR is literally Satan or something idk:

Edit forgot this too.

After the Solar Eclipse, Billions of Cicadas Are Coming amid Rare Double Brood.

Brood XIII and Brood XIX are set to emerge during the same spring for the first time in 221 years.

A few weeks after the April 8 solar eclipse, two broods of periodical cicadas will emerge, and… pic.twitter.com/gQvyGjroaF

— Shadow of Ezra (@ShadowofEzra) April 2, 2024

The skitzo are loving it.

Facebook bought Israeli VPN Onavo in 2013 for ~$200M, and used it to spy on activity in other apps in the man-in-the-middle attack (SSL bump) by impersonating a root cert :

Snapchat in 2016
YouTube in 2017
Amazon in 2018

For Meta, the ends always justify the means. pic.twitter.com/Uums38u7ag

— Deedy (@deedydas) March 31, 2024

Cbf effortposting this one cause i dont understand it. Maybe you code neurodivergents will like it idk. Maybe its just April fools.

@A @arsey can you tag codecels plz.

Why is CERN being reactivated on April 8, the same day as the infamous eclipse? Supposedly, the particle collider can accelerate protons to a rate that’s only 7 mph slower than the speed of light, resulting in 11,000 trips around its ring per second. After CERN started its Awake… pic.twitter.com/fzqPCUJ50M

— Nick Hinton (@NickHintonn) March 27, 2024

THIS GUY STOLE MY JOKE. I didnt even read the comments before thinking this would make a good post for /h/spooky:

Apparently they were hanging out on a yacht on Lake Maggiore on the Italy-Switzerland border as cover for spying on Russian-owned properties. The boat capsized in bad weather. Why they needed to have 25 people on the boat is a bit baffling. Maybe they hired a bunch of hookers with their Mossad credit card.

As far as I can tell his evidence basically boils down to:

• It looks like a pyramid to me.

• Radiocarbon dating of the soil in it comes back with a result of 25,000 years.

The normies respond with:

• It looks like a hill to me.

• There's zero evidence that the soil is related to any human activity.

• That's not even how radiocarbon dating works. The soil samples have carbon-14 deposited by the roots of countless plants over millenia.

Why does the global normie conspiracy always oppress scholars who think outside the box?

>glowing ball of fire sits in the sky

>nobody is paying attention to it

>everybody thinks this is normal

>you're not allowed to look at it too much

This is awfully suspicious. What is the sun really? It appears to have mind control powers to make us not want to think about it or question it. I can feel it's power now as I'm writing this.

It's a slow day for real news, so let's see what the tards and schizos are cooking up.

Russia

The video of accused terrorists released by the Russians must actually be from the CIA. His proof is that no real videos from Russia are allowed on Reddit.

"But not all Arabs look the same." This guy thinks Tajiks and Chechens are Arabs.

Classic ignorant conspiracy tard conversation.

Are you saying this dude is a CIA agent?

He's insinuating that basically yes lol. Or he's just a pawn in the CIA's scheme.

FBI agents are called that because federal law enforcement officers are "special agents" of the US government. The CIA isn't law enforcement so its officers are not "agents". When the CIA calls someone an "agent" they're referring to a foreigner who does work for them. So actually this guy could only be a "CIA agent" if he was a "pawn" of the CIA.

Tard thinks ISIS disappeared during the Trump administration because he doesn't pay attention to the news.

Obama visited London. In the following days two newsworthy events happened on Earth. This can't be a coincidence.

Technology

A pretty standard post about how secret advanced technology is being hidden from the public

Edward Snowden never existed. He was just an AI deepfake. No explanation of why the Illuminati would want us to be suspicious of the glowies.

Schizo apparently thinks mods will delete his comment if it mentions ISIS?

Tard thinks nobody had any inkling of the existence of the F-117 until Desert Storm. Apparently he never played any video games from the 1980s.

Tard thinks Concorde was "banned". I guess the reptilians don't want super rich people getting to Paris quickly?

CIA mutant supersoldiers posing as aliens are flying around on silent hoverboards terrorizing Peruvian villagers.

Schizo thinks Mark Zuckerberg and Data from Star Trek are the same person or something.

Miscellaneous

Kate Middleton is faking cancer to make us believe young people can get it. Really you can only get cancer from the vaxx.

A C-SPAN video from 1990 has a guy saying ISIS to refer to the "Israeli Secret Intelligence Service". So ISIS must be Mossad.

Kroger purposely makes their digital coupons hard to use. Okay, I actually believe this one. /u/pizzashill is in on it.

Radiocarbon dating is presented in pop science as a magical technique where you just point your tricorder at old stuff and it tells you exactly how old it is and it's 100% reliable. In fact it's really complicated. The level of carbon-14 in the atmosphere changes year to year and also seasonally. If the sample was ever immersed in water that can change it. It's not very precise for archaeology as anything recent you'll get a range of a couple centuries.

The biggest problem is finding the right sample to test. It can tell you when living tissue died. The problem is, you're probably trying to figure out how old an inanimate object like a building or statue is. So you have to do it indirectly, testing something like a bit of charcoal that you found nearby that you believe dates back to the same time as the object you care about. It's easy to make a mistake and test material from a totally different time.

Our enterprising r-slur just ignored all these difficulties. He decided that some hill in Indonesia is a pyramid built in the ice age or some shit to fit in with whatever Graham Hanpeepee is peddling. So he just randomly tested bits of mud from the hill until he found something 8,000 years old and claimed that his "pyramid" is really old. Who needs truth when fantasy is more fun?