I'm a pig, and I smell bad. Mr. Smuther is my God, and that's what he says. He's always right. I kiss his butt. I suck everything down into my guts. I never shit. My body's greedy, there's nothing I can do about it. I'm bloated. I'm soft. I weigh 349 pounds. I'm fat scum. I despise myself. I'm sitting here in the pink pajama bottoms my mom gave me when I was fifteen. They still fit. I hate them, but I wear them. They're caked up around the crotch with various foods that I dripped and old sperm that I never wiped up. My sperm's sweet.
A lot of that sperm's there now because of Mr. Smuther, so I like it. I like to break it off in chunks and grind it between my fingers thinking about him. Then I feel disgusted with myself, but I like feeling that way for him. I'd like him to take a shit on my face while I lay on the sidewalk and people crowded around and laughed. He'd point down at my face and tell them how I deserved it, and they'd laugh again in agreement with him. I'd feel good, I like to feel good. I like to touch myself, especially when I pretend I'm someone else.
Sometimes in a restaurant I lose myself, I forget I exist. I sneak my hand up under my shirt and rub it, along the hair that collects around my bellybutton. The hair is soft, like the hair on a baby's head. I get hot and I can smell myself. I'm being smothered in my own armpit, then I c*m, but I don't feel anything. I discover a puddle of sperm in my crotch. I hurry and pay, then I leave, afraid they'll notice.
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Good to know that even in their perfect utopia people are still racist
Β
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Some people on Twitter literally cannot fathom a world where they don't have to whiteknight the faceless, disenfranchised hoi polloi.
Personally, I'd be part of the peepeeheads who do absolutely nothing except complain, ie 97% of the members of the commune.
Don't forget to turn off signatures in settings!
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I'd be one of the racists just so they had something to do
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97% seems a liitle low...
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DROP IT!
DROP! IT!
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This kills the goose :(
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mutual AIDs
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do they not have equal rights? why do I feel they actually mean "more rights" and not equal ones?
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I like how the ideal commie utopia involves being destitute enough to be making patchwork clothing
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You better believe when the revolution comes I'm joining the Cheka immediately
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im the commisar shooting all the lazy cute twinks in the back of the head
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These people are such delusional urban r-slurs, they're used to having all the jobs upholding the backbone of society done for them, they don't even notice or know that it's required. Their straggy commune would collapse over night and devolve into Chaz/chop.
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I'm the soldier who takes over other communes for the greater glory of our superior commune, though honestly I might attempt a coup to seize control of our commune if I feel like all the commune s*x workers and latte makers don't show enough respect towards the military caste
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I'm the savvy capitalist who wormed his way into the social circles of those in charge and gets to keep all my power by letting my property be βnationalizedβ under the new department I established within the state
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Is this Bardfinn?
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Record is 1 days 13 hours 09 minutes and 59 seconds by TheDunceonFlorist
Wow! There have been 14753 rent free mentions since 2022-09-24
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The commune when not enough passion was sparked to keep the corn fields alive.
Just kidding, I would dedicate my career to the art of wistful thinking and enriching my chakras through feeling the warm summer breeze blow through my luscious locks.
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I'll be the anti-work neighbor monitoring the weather
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On the 2nd day of staring at the sky, the weed runs out
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I would look through windows.
For the betterment of all!
Don't forget to turn off signatures in settings!
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in a moneyless society, how do you get paid for s*x?
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To each according to their needs, and brother... I'm really needy
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In a NEET commune full of male feminist manbabies, they'd probably get paid in punches. And the occasional latte.
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C*m latte
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Would we have root accounts under communism?
I know rms was vehemently against the
wheelgroup.!codecels
Follower of Christ
Tech lover, IT Admin, heckin pupper lover and occasionally troll. I hold back feelings or opinions, right or wrong because I dislike conflict.
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Everyone would have the same privileges under communism in all directories and for all files
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The original Macintosh FileSystem was flat, non-hierarchical, with no real folders, only the illusion of folders. All files were stored in a single namespace.
Under communism MFS would become mandatory.
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Folders are a social construct. All data lives equally on the drive
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You know that
unprivileged_user. This incident will be reported.message when you try to use sudo? My job will be to execute anyone in that file for counterrevolutionary activityJump in the discussion.
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protip: if you edit the sudoers file and add the "insults" option you can have it insult you if you get your password wrong.
https://www.sudo.ws/docs/man/1.8.15/sudoers.man/#SUDOERS_OPTIONS
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Tech lover, IT Admin, heckin pupper lover and occasionally troll. I hold back feelings or opinions, right or wrong because I dislike conflict.
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Your whole PC would be an open Git Repository. And everybody can check out your history
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We'll have reached a blockchain future
Follower of Christ
Tech lover, IT Admin, heckin pupper lover and occasionally troll. I hold back feelings or opinions, right or wrong because I dislike conflict.
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Comrade, under Dongerism we will implement the Cockchain. And you will love it!
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neet
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You think my post is neet? Thanks! :3
Now Mimwee needs changies. NOW. Mimwee made a BIG BIG mess in his vegan, ethically-made diaper
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Me being forced out of the coal mine when Hayley (she/they) mysteriously loses her love of farming after a week and they need someone to slaughter the animals (I want to perform hard labor):
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Alright folx, we have 41 teachers, 27 librarians, 16 baristas, 9 gardeners, 6 cooks, 4 child caregivers, 2 prostitutes and 1 communal diaper boy.
However we are still missing some key occupations, including laborers, builders, civil engineers, electricians, plumbers, farmers, waste management workers, mechanics, and factory workers.
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Have no fear, I will be the communal grocery store runner, and bring the food to those who need it
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Wanna hear a joke?
A commune starts up and once everyone has decided what they want to do, someone brings an urgent issue to the people's meeting.
She stands up and says "comrades, we don't have any food runners!"
The central committee deliberates, then reassures her "that's ok, we don't have any food either"
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ssri dispenser
May Marsey Ta'aevann rectify our affairs. Marseummarhamna bil Bussy 'azeem.
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Brap hog rancher
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with what food
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The cauliflower our
slavescomrades will be plantingJump in the discussion.
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Having lived in a co-op, their jobs would be doing absolutely jack shit and half assing anything they're forced to do. Hardworking people fricking hate Communism.
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"Alrighty everyone it's time to plant more Kale"
"Where are you going young man
"COLORADO...I HAVE RIGHTS AHHHHHHHHH"
"can we divide up the mikes hard lemonade he left behind"
"no we're pouring that swill out, before Roger gets into it"
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ITT:
Communism will not win regardless of variant. No one wants to do the hard work that matters.
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I've always wanted to be one of those people that cleans the scenes of gruesome murders
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You're not supposed to stimulate demand though.
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Because why the frick do you want to do the electrical or water engineering for a bunch of fat stinky lazy horny slobs?
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Please let me dig trenches Mr. Stalin, it's my one true calling in life
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What's wrong with the rdrama plan? You and your buddies take all the guns, then it doesn't matter what everyone else wants to do.
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Can I be a tank driver? I promise I won't stop for protestors
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I'm going to be the dairy farmer producing the milk for the lattes, and after a hard week of 18 hour days, slowly realising that some members of society are more valuable than others, I'm going to eat the anxiety-riddled r-slurred baristas and tarot readers and hand their carcuses to the pink-haired
in the crafting tipi and force him to turn their hides into whips to create an actual labour force out of the rest.
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We prefer to let the cows produce it, but don't think we don't appreciate the offer!
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I am the gloryhole open for bussyness 24/7
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I'm going to be the commissar who forces them to do actual work.
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The GULAG that goes around the commune won't build itself comrades
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Ruthless Anti-Communist Guerrilla.
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I WOULD BE A PODCASTER AS WELL AS A COMMISSAR IN THE PEOPLE'S GOVERNMENT AND I WOULD DESIGN THE UNIFORMS AND AND AND
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I wanna be Anna's boytoy
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She looked cute in the Adam Friedland Show crossover. Anna > Dasha imo
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Ikr
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I'm going to be the NKVD agent that puts them on their knees and blasts their brains out of their noses while wearing fetch black leather I looted from the commune's leather worker before I shot his children.
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They're all wrong, they're all going to be conscripted into the New Red Army and forced to charge machine gun nests with the commissar's revolver pointed at their backs for the glory of the State
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I'll be the communal fart slave and human potty
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Sigh. If I must.
I'm the katyn massacre.
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Trick question, you'll all be manual laborers.
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i'll be the one that points out we already had this thread
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found the incel
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My job on the leftist commune is pointing Revolutionary Rifle of the Proletariat at NEETs and asking them why they're late for their shift at Peoples' Tractor Factory #324
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I've already given my answer
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The red guard
murdering sincere communists
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I'm the hard labour guy. Also the guy on the commune that headbutts you for not doing your daily hard labour quota.
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