Unable to load image

:marseystarbucks: /r/starbucks wagies discuss their favourite morning shift drinks. They're all terrible and hardly any include coffee

https://old.reddit.com/r/starbucks/comments/1jj67uh/fav_drink_to_wake_you_up_during_your_5am/

								

								

>work in coffee shop

>what should I drink during my morning shift to give me energy :marseyclueless:

Let's look at the comments.


Caffeine doesn't affect me so I need sugar to keep me up. I usually make myself a nice hot tea with some honey to sip during opening and then a sweet cream nitro shot a couple hours in and a nice hot chocolate with caramel for my first break. Then if I start fading later a shot of flavoured CF (sometimes with an espresso shot in it for flavour) to keep me going.

Dependent on sugar :marseyhmm:? I wonder why :marseyclueless:?

Her profile is exactly what you'd expect: overweight, asexual and regularly reviews and posts about /r/toogoodtogo sweet bundles. She also uses the worst phone font I've ever seen:

https://i.rdrama.net/images/1742889380Uv7KK14GpAaNLQ.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/1742889380SEsxBe44EiY1nw.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/17428893805IN3eJdukK2ztA.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/1742889380afnb2-2cKJ6Y6Q.webp


Not coffee but 1. Half orange juice half defense up over ice 2. Melon burst topped w defense up 3. Melon burst topped w SAR and light Blackberry :)

lol


tropical citrus no green tea sub refresher of your choice :)

>work at Starbucks

>drink juice

>want people to believe that you're a serious barista


Venti Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew w/ 1 extra pumps of vanilla ❤️🥹😘

You're going to die.


i ask the partners i open with to pick a number 6 through 12 and then chug that many blonde shots, this typically wakes me up lol

You might already be dead.


If you are going to drink a very high caffeine beverage, make sure you use milk with the highest fat content possible, it will help shield you from a crash later and extend the potency of the caffeine. For me now, the minimum is breve but I used to just add a pat of butter to steamed coconut/almond mix and it worked well as a "bulletproof" latte.

This dude's adding butter to his latte :marseydead:


If you don't like oat milk or blonde espresso, I recommend a shaken espresso sub 3 white mocha and 2 brown sugar syrup with cinnamon powder. I used to get half white mocha half toffee nut but…. Rip toffee nut.


Midnight drink, 3 scoops of vanilla bean powder, and extra coconut milk.

Apparently the Midnight Drink is:

https://i.rdrama.net/images/1742889380hS--3h0NaWICKA.webp

Delicious flavors of sweet blackberries paired with notes of sage are shaken with ice, coconutmilk and blackberry inclusions—a perfect balance of flavors creating a refreshing, craveable beverage for the season.


Coffee?

:#marseyburgers:

83
Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

What's this weird cute twink attention seeking thing of pretending caffeine "doesn't affect you". I've had a few r-slurs say this to me in real life :smh:

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I think they believe that you're supposed to get extremely hyperactive so if they don't feel like they snorted a line off a virgin's tits they don't count it

https://media.tenor.com/TYaHGCtHAL4AAAAx/over-the-hedge-squirrel.webp

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

yes, they think of the Squirrel from Over The Hedge

https://media.tenor.com/6_71MIIK46QAAAAx/over-the-hedge-rj-raccoon.webp

or they think they think of "redbull gives u wings :marseydisconcerting: "

https://media.tenor.com/fOfrh_ZheWgAAAAx/redbull-redbullgifs.webp

:conflictingemotionsguy: "Huh... I don't feel like jumping out of a plane in a wingsuit or anything, maybe I'm yawning less, I'm not sure"


15 years ago:

:trollfacedancing: :trollfacedancing: :trollfacedancing: "We the 13 year olds are acting CRAZY and it's totally the caffine bruh, WE HAVE AN EXCUSE TO BE R-SLURRED TROLOLOLOL WE'RE CAFFEINATED :soyjakdancing2: AAAAAA... No Teacher, we can't focus we had coffeeeee 🤪" :!derpinahd: "Um... Coffee should make you focus better? Maybe you shouldn't drink it..." :marseybrainlet: "hic... hic... TWO MUSH COSHEE... FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELL..." :!marseydisagree: "No Tyler, coffee is the one that makes u hyper... not drunk" :marseysad: "Oh, oops... AHHHH I CAN'T SIT STILL :marseyinsane: " :!derpinahd: "Who gave you guys coffee again? I want to have a talk with them."


:derprealization: "Oh wow, looking back, I guess coffee doesn't affect me and never has!"

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

R U OK r-slur?

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

It's just weak af if you can drink coffee before bed then it's not doing shit.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Zoomers can down three cans of Monster and not feel anything. Coffee is pointless to them.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Caffeine is a fricking terrible stimulant, the only reason everyone uses it is because all the actual good ones either require a prescription or are illegal. It makes you less tired rather than actually mentally stimulating you. Having any caffeine within 10 hours of sleep is going to disrupt your sleep vs good stimulants that are much shorter lived.

Burgers don't even know about l-theanine so chug coffee instead of tea.

If you just want to feel more awake take some Modafinil.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

https://media.tenor.com/y3Y3Hufu98cAAAAx/meth-birth.webp

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Or stop being a kitty and take some amphetamines

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Amphetamines don't make you productive IMO. It's like making your self hyper active where you distractedly fiddle around with things instead of completing anything

better to get good sleep and a bit of green tea or caffine+l-theanine if you slept poorly

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

They should legalise modafinil as something you can just buy without having to import it yourself or pretend to be narcoleptic. There are literally no downsides

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Well that explains quite a lot don't you think :marseysmughips:

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

l-theanine

I realized getting a good quality brand of this is important, some work way better than others

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Just drink good quality black tea. I use https://www.stashtea.com/products/double-bergamot-earl-grey-black-tea-bagged as my daily as its not super expensive and easy to find. I also keep a supply of https://www.teakeepers.co.uk/product-page/earl-grey-vanilla when I want to be bougie.

When we send all the bongs to camps we should let their tea people stay free.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

stash is good tea? hahahhahahha

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

If caffeine isn't having an effect on you, it's because you've built up a tolerance after years of abusing it.

I never had more caffeine than a hot cup of tea until maybe 3 years ago. If I have an energy drink, most of the guys on my crew think I'm on coke.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Caffeine never affected me until the last few years. I barely ever had it, let alone abused it. Even now, an energy drink does jack shit. A cup of coffee is nice though.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I've known a few people who said that. They always drink sugary caffeinated drinks then pass right out. Diabetes.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

caffeine doens't have a large effect on me. the few times i tried coke i wasn't all that impressed, maybe i didn't snort enough tho. i had a vyvanse (adderall prodrug) prescription for a year once, i still used to fall asleep in the middle of the day. stims are weird on me. never tried meth or molly tho.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

/u/eloquentpetrichor have you considered the impact of consuming 2000 calories in just drinks before lunch on your overall health and appearance?

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

No don't ping please. I don't mind people pinging typical Redditors who understand what they're getting into, but this is a not tech savvy normie.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Too late

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Nooooooooooooo

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Afraid they will get spooked and delete their account? :marseybinosgenocide:

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

If you're going to bully them online they have the right to know it's happening imo. If you're afraid of hurting their feelings maybe don't post pics of them on an anonymous gossip website?

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I get your point and it's thoughts like this that keep me up at night, but I quite like staring from a distance rather than actively involving them.

She's not involved in any metadrama that should make her eligible for pinging (like the /r/WaltDisneyWorld bathroom selfie guy) so it doesn't seem fair to involve her.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I know what you mean, I always feel kind of bad when people I qt on twitter actually reply to my post with 3 likes

But I'm not sure avoiding that feeling by screenshotting them and sharing it around in private is morally any better it's just a cope

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

>having a conscience

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Am I a bad person?

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

You're on this site, so probably.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Even the "good" people love to talk shit they just mask it with platitudes

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

You're British so

  • Yes you are bad

  • No you are not a person

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

oh

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

The top result is 130 calories.

https://www.starbucks.com/menu/product/2124651/hot/nutrition

The next highest result in the thread is 220 calories

https://www.starbucks.com/menu/product/2123431/iced

If it's once in a while, that's fine :marseycomfy:. But every single shift? :marseychonkerfoid:

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

The hot chocolate she says she has second is 280 in a tall size without the extra caramel shot

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Somehow missed that comment. Tea with honey and "sweet cream nitro shot" don't seem that bad. The tall "sweet cream nitro" is 70 calories, so I'm guessing a shot is around 9 calories?

You might be wrong about the hot chocolate, the 280 calories one is with whipped cream and a caramel drizzle. If we're charitable, depending on the milk a hot chocolate with no whipped cream will be between 190-230 calories. Add on a caramel shot and it's between 210-250 calories. Which is fine to drink once in a while, but every shift and we're in :marseychonkerfoid: territory.

https://media.tenor.com/vIvt0IuTne4AAAAx/jam-car.webp

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

This comic is me if you replace beer with coffee

https://i.rdrama.net/images/1742899491HctPiYQywCBzsg.webp

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Most people drink coffee for the instant energy mostly. It's either coffee and it tastes like shit, or it's a coffee flavoured drink (mostly not coffee)

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Randall Munroe is such a fricking cute twink, and so are you!

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

hmm yes I think today I shall start my morning with an entire week's worth of sugar calories

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

A little caffeine can go a long way. Just be sure not to eat and if you drink enough its a free meal :marseyshrug:

This has always be my system.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I wonder why I'm overweight and have money issues.

I'm on my 3rd daily coffee why do you ask?

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

:marseyneet: not waking up at 3am to serve coffee to people waking up at 6am makes me feel great

reading that thread was carthatic

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

How to make a starbucks coffee:

  • Take 1 shot espresso.

  • Throw it away.

  • Add 3 kilos of sugar

  • 200 ml of milk

  • Add another 3 kilos of sugar

  • A bit of coffeine powder

  • Mix it all about

Spice it up with cream, syrup and more sugar

Watch customer have diabetic seizure

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

You're going to love my /r/dutchbros post tomorrow

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Don't sugarcoat it please!

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

:#yousuck:

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Last time I went to Starbucks I asked for a black coffee. Probably the weirdest order the guy had all day

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Black coffee strags think they're sooo special lmao

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

You burned me harder than they burn their beans :marseyburn:

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Why would you order black coffee when it's Starbucks? Do you really want to taste the low quality burnt beans?

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Does Starbucks charge staff for their coffee?

They should. In fact Starbucks should make their wagies pay more than customers, to make a point.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

No they get free drinks and some free food

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Ohhhhh it's all making sense now :marseybaristachonker:

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

:marseyagreefast: I'd be more inclined to drink there if their employees weren't all walking waddling constant reminders of what'll happen to me if I consume too many of their drinks.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

what happened to the hot skinny coffee house girl.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Where do hot skinny girls work in 2025?

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

https://media.tenor.com/c7T3pahTUSEAAAAx/carmensandiego-carmen.webp

https://media.tenor.com/r0q-V9tby_EAAAAx/fuck-sol.webp

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

i ask the partners i open with to pick a number 6 through 12 and then chug that many blonde shots, this typically wakes me up lol

This is the only reasonable one tbh. Imagine not drinking your coffee black.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

When it comes to purchasing sugar, their needs to be a waistline check that multiplies the tax you pay on sugar for every inch above 26 for women and 31 for men

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

My manager back when i worked at starbucks made me use quizlets to learn the drink recipes https://quizlet.com/122685049/starbucks-training-drink-recipes-flash-cards/

I hope every starbucks gets bulldozed and all the employees get deported to iran and punished for their homosexuality in accordance to sharia law

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

So an 8 hour shift is considered especially grueling for a syrup monkey? A shift I was regularly working on weekends at Fazoli's back when I was 16?

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Share the recipe for Fazoli's breadsticks please, they're one of my favorite kinds of slop from my childhood :marseyinshallah:

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

7.5 quarts butter-flavored soybean oil ("Whirl" or similar)

2 quarts water

10.5oz garlic powder

11.5oz salt

Works best when you let it soak into the breadsticks overnight before cooking. I believe our ovens were timed for 2:45 at 425°F but it's been well over a decade

(Edit: might've been 9.5 / 10.5oz. i just remember one was an ounce less than the other)

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Thank you, king :marseythanks:

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

That sub is pizzatards dream!!!

One Pokemons a week outta the retirement fund and he would be eating expired food like the king he is!!

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

They might as well be on a glucose drip all day.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

got an iced black coffee yesterday and lemme tell you im going back to hot next time.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I can't drink hot coffee with anything sweet added, and I can't drink iced coffee without.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I used to work at a unionized airport coffee shop where I was junior and got put on whatever shift they needed filled

whenever I opened I made a

quad shot over ice to pound and a shot in the dark to nurse

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

make sure to ping !deadBIPOCstorage for all coffee related posts

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.



Link copied to clipboard
Action successful!
Error, please refresh the page and try again.