Allow me to introduce myself. I can't provide my name, but just know that I am an elite member of the Latter Day Gooner Cult. You probably have a lot of questions, and I've got some answers. Let me clue you in.

1. Who are the Latter Day Gooners?

We are a secret society dedicated to COOM. We believe that COOM is holy and that gooning is a sacrament. We have about 15, 000 members globally and our numbers continue to rise. You can't spot us in public because we look like ordinary people. We come to work and have normal conversation. We may even be your boss. It doesn't matter. All you should be concerned about is that we have unlocked new levels of gooning and we don't need adderral, poppers, or viagra to do it.

Our methods of gooning are focused on:

a) r*pe

b) human trafficking

c) domestic abuse

d) racketeering

e) unacceptable pornography

However, we are not like the DISORGANIZED coomers. We believe that cooming should be done according to schedules so that we can honor all of our fallen GOONERs.

2. How did the Latter Day Gooners begin?

None of the Latter Day Gooners can agree on when the cult began. Some say it goes as far back as the Ice Age, and that most humans were part of the Latter Day Gooners cult until the CHRISTIAN CHRUCH tried to squash SEXUAL DEBAUCHERY. But we did not die. We just infiltrated CHRISTIANITY. Now billions of Christians worldwide celebrate religious holidays not knowing they originated with the Latter Day Gooners.

Some cultures around the world have tried to kill the cult through circumcision. But some of my best GOONERS are cut. They just GOONED even though their Peepees were mutilated! In the cult, we do not discriminate. Uncut, cut, men, women, all are welcome.

3. What are the aims of the Latter Day Gooners?

We hope to establish a closer connection with God through GOONING. Sometimes, when we goon we see dazzling colors. We believe these are the whispers of God. And we GOON so we can hear the divine speak. Our wish is that every man and woman on Earth will experience the ecstatic joys of GOONING. It's better than

• Straight s*x (never tried)

• Land Surveying

• Gambling

• Beer

• Love

4. Members of the Latter Day Gooners

We have already infiltrated this society. Members include @AverageBen10Enjoyer, @KONGthedral, @X, and @CREAMY_DOG_ORGASM. We also have members in prominent places in society. You might recognize some of these names:

• Sean "Diddy" Combs

• Katy Perry

• Mako Komuro

• Warren Buffet

• Luigi Mangione

• Contrapoints

• Joe Rogan

And many more, some of whom I do not have the security clearance to name. If you're interested in sophisticated GOONING and you aren't buying bootlegged, laced, and STOMPED ON "coompacks" on Whatsapp, then DM me. Lastly, don't believe anyone who tries to convince you that we are trying to "restrict" GOONING. That is not the case. Our members GOON freely. We just believe that there is a correct way to go about things when you're dealing with something so sacred.

@FourthAlt wholesome video

this was hugely influential on my developing sexuality when I saw it on Hacker News around 15 years ago

Endnotes: Yes, I'm a girl. Yes, I enjoy anal. Yes, I used to be a girl who said I'd never let anyone do anything to my butt. Yes, some butt-fricker got me with this plan. It took him a month (and many, many mind -blowing orgasms and naughty mid-day phone calls). No, I wasn't aware of "the plan" at the time; I figured out his evil conspiracy later and I deemed it the "butt frick conspiracy," he laughed. Yes, we met on cl. Yes, we broke up. Yes, I was mad at him for turning me into an anal slut. Yes, I got over it. Yes, I ejaculate. No, I'm not looking for dates. Bye!

I watched a video of Musk doing a TED talk 11 years ago compare it to now and it's night and day, I couldn't imagine him being so self-controlled and articulate today.

https://old.reddit.com/r/redscarepod/comments/1if29gb/not_enough_is_said_about_how_musks_drug_abuse/

https://t.co/DB2rvH3vzr pic.twitter.com/PK1V8YklhY

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 3, 2025

I dont like chappell roan. she sounds like an industry plant despite not even being one. People eat that shit up because lesbians are so hungry for any sapphic music because there isn't much and any that exists is mid at best. What really pisses me off is her trying too hard to be campy. I feel like to a degree camp needs to be unintentional. Or at least that's the standard I hold her to even if I wouldn't for anyone else simply because I think she sucks a little. It just seems too forced and she gets on my nerves. And you have to admit the specific queer audience that do like her have the most grating personality ever where they don't have enough interesting enough them that they feel the need to play a victim/minority role constantly and kick and scream over everything (which figures since chappell is a little like that). And for a lesbian she likes to talk about men sooooo much.

I apologise if this should go in a different hole rather, I was a long time wpd user and decided I might as well be a rdrama users as well while im at it.

There are 100's of cases like this, I know someone who was on the registry for 10 years for having s*x with a 16 year old when he was 19 who he eventually married.

185 updoots

this isn't limeyland, 16 years old is too young, namaste

Two weeks before my high school graduation this one kid in our graduating class (18) got a blowjob from a 15 year old girl who went to our school. It was entirely consensual, and neither of them were under the influence of anything. the next day the girl was bragging to her friends about it and the assistant principal overheard her talking. Because she talked about it in school, it now became a school matter, and the school decided to pursue it. So next thing you know, a couple of days before we graduate, this one kid, who was your perfect example of a good guy (all A's, did charity work, participated in school activities and so forth), and had a full ride to a great university for I believe international business got hit with a child molestation charge. He subsequently lost the charge and served I believe four years in jail. Further, hes now on the s*x offenders list and cant do really anything meaningful with his life. Last I heard he works at Rite Aid or something like that as a cashier, and thats pretty much the highest he'll be able to get all because he got blown by a girl in his school and she was so happy about it that she talked about it.

darn. kinda fricked up u kid stilll be a senior in high school get top from a sophmore girl and get sent to jail or whatevrr.

anyway, another W FOR INCELS. s*x havers u might as well rope, incels already won they don't gotta sorry abiut divorce cheating or the regustry all they have to worry abiut is 4chans

<--- s*x haver who just got owned by incel winners

Finally out, 4-5 month wait since I heard it live the first time: