I'm in love with a character I made in my head and it's making me depressed because I know I will never meet someone like him. Maybe once there could have been a chance, but it's gone now. If I can't be with someone like him or at least meet someone like him, just once, I don't want anyone at all. I've loved this character for over a decade. He's basically an "invisible" friend/boyfriend. I pretend he's here and talk to him every day. Even though I never seen him, only in my mind's eye. I wish I could see him, and hear him, and feel him there. I have a memorabilia relating to him which I keep next to me at my bed, and a plush which my dad made of him which I hug at night. I actually had a lucid dream about him last night, and I kissed him and stuff. It was the first time this happened. It still didn't feel quite real or right just because since yesterday I have felt really depressed and down and a loss of hope. Because I know I will never find someone like him, ever. Or even meet someone like him. It's impossible because of the specific traits he possesses which I am only attracted to. Other than someone like him I don't even find people attractive at all, if a guy is not like him I feel the same way towards them as I do to girls - meaning I'm not attracted to them at all. If I was with someone they'd have to have something "special" about them as in, they relate to one of my special interests in some way, like my character I'm in love with, otherwise I'm just not interested. I'm crying because I just wish he was real. Or that one day I could meet someone just like him. But I don't think that is possible now. It feels like the roses I held that once bloomed vibrant and bright, have all now withered and died.

Everyone I know knows about my character and how much I love him, it's not like it's a secret. But I would never tell a professional about this, because first they would never understand, they'd laugh and if I told them exactly why I am upset, they will ask me why it is so important to me. This character is so special to me and important to me. I just wish I could have some kind of proof I met someone just like him one day. But I know this will never happen and this is why I am crying right now.

I used to find joy in him and hope, and was trying to actively work towards my goals which would bring me closer to my dream. I found myself mirroring his admirable qualities, such as bravery, perseverence and an upbeat attitude even in bad times, finding joy in the small things and never taking things for granted. Always trying to work hard, like him. He was an endless source of inspiration for me, I would write countless stories about him and our adventures, and draw many pictures of us together. But now I don't feel like doing anything at all. I don't feel like writing any stories now or drawing pictures of him because it reminds me that I'll never meet someone like him.

The reason I'm so upset now is because I found out that no one exactly like him exists anymore. It's stupid, but it feels like he's died. And it's crushing me inside.

Other bangers:

Does anyone else have imaginary people they are attached to?

i have been daydreaming since a kid but it got worse since the pandemic...i created this fake world, fake situations filled with fake people who have extensive backstories, personalities etc...i feel absolutely pathetic that they are essentially my only friends. They pay attention to me, support me and i have become so attached to them that they are the only source of any 'happiness' i feel. I'm nearly 20 and feel embarrassed that i have to resort to this still...if anyone has overcome this, please do share how<3

Helpful advice from other users:

I'm 30 and have had 22 years of being with someone who is essentially imaginary. You are valid OP. And learning to accept that it's okay will be healing. I learned to accept and love that part of me with my Fictional Other

Thank you Chessa, the way to heal is to double down and spend all day on fictional love subreddits ☺️🤗

Hi :) often these vivid daydreams were the only way we survived our childhood with our dignity in tact. Not trying to dx CPTSD but this is a very natural coping mechanism for a child. Imagine how hard it would be for a 4 year old to understand and accept the deep pain of being discarded by their guardian. We rely on that guardian for everything. Shelter food water. So to survive in the world where we don't feel safe but need to get our basic physical needs met - we must suffer immensely. The only escape is the daydreams because it removes from the world where we are forced to be isolated and alone.

Can tell ur a special person and this is a gift. The maladaptive part is understanding how to make your body understand it is safe to use your imagination to empower self <3

Yes, being an obsessive daydreamer because you're too much of a loser irl is a GIFT. Thanks for your advice, e-steph 🥰😘

A slightly more real (and much sadder ) collection of takes can be found here

Ive been alone for as long as i can remember. No one has ever given a darn about my existence. My presence really hasnt ever impacted anyone. I have never been loved by anyone, not even my own family.. Loneliness has really aggravated my MDD , and now this disorder is raging...but i also owe my life to it, without having the ability to daydream i would've perished. It's really sad that most of us on this subreddit conjure up people and stories in their heads to feel loved...

😔😔😔

My made up family, friends, and lover are one of the few things in my life keeping me from yeeting myself off a bridge honestly.

I understand MaDD can be toxic in how it keeps us from being apart of reality, but when reality is against you(broken family, financial instability, health issues, etc.) It really helps keeping me sane more than anything. I'm sure if I could afford medical help, and had more emotional and friendly support id be more apt to quit it.

"Made up family, friends, and lover" 😳😳😳

Has anyone else ever thought they'd do well in solitary confinement because of their MD? I mean, we'd just be labelled the "crazy person" talking to themselves, right? Technically we'd be alone, but not really.

Sweaty wth 😬😬😬

I think about this a lot. Without it, I feel like I would've gone insane (also from child abuse, seeing a pattern I dont like), but now I feel like constantly daydreaming, pacing around, making expressions and sounds as I daydream definitely doesnt make exactly make me seem sane.

This guy might be onto something, maybe the people on this subreddit are, after all, NOT sane??? 🤯🤯🤯

Hey chuddies what happened to the "japanese people hate it" talking point

Total !nonchuds victory

!coomers

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@Aevann offsite when?