- zombiecel : made me hungry
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The real Asian Street Food was not the Michelin Bib Gourmand awarded Oyster Omelettes I had in the morning
Nor a similarly Michelin awarded pork innards noodle soup that seemed to be hit so hard by inflation that they served us this in a huge bowl (we paid extra for the egg too)
But the random unsung street hawker hero you'll find at a random 7-11 or convenience store all around Asia (except Singapore because ) in the wee hours
Who might be smoking and talking shit with his buddies at the side but still notices you looking and asks you for your order
Whose menu probably made in notepad is simply "chicken", "pork", "beef", "seafood" with rice or one of the 819 types of asian noodles
Who then whips up the obvious choice of seafood instant noodles on the grill and tells you to frick off to the 7-11 first if you don't like to wait
Whose fricking culinary masterpiece hits you right in the nose when you take it out of the takeaway bag and into a proper bowl
Who mogs your cooking because your supper avoidant wife finishes half the bowl when you offer her a bite
Whose mastery of cooking 4 types of proteins with 820 types of carbs you'll never beat because you were never from the favelas
Sadly the only proof I have of him existing is this random chopstick, wedge of lime and random thai/asian seasonings in a non-descript plastic bag, but IYKYK
This post is fricking gay and unnecessary but enveloped my soul as I had the first REAL asian street food meal ever since fricking covid broke
And I still vividly remember it being a warm and comforting bowl of congee that I had while severely hungover/drunk in Phnom Penh a couple hours or five after midnight
That's why I know how to make congee: https://rdrama.net/h/food/post/229447/marseyitsoverwerebackchingchon-chiobus-silky-cantonese-congee-recipe
They even help to keep Asians relatively slim because:
The serving sizes are just perfect
50% of the time it'll give you the shits anyway
!goyslopenjoyers plz try the asian goyslop if you ever come across it
God I feel like just taking that walk down a dark alleyway just to order another bowl right now
Neighbour did I really longpost over a $5 bowl of instant noodles
Worth it
Frick it I'll just do it for the pics brb
They were literally just cleaning up when I reached FRICK
AT LEAST I have some more proof of his existence
And the name of his stall is literally just "pad thai" bro I love you but that's not gonna help even if your genius was operating in Finland or something
But at the end of the day the absolute balls to call yourself "pad thai" because you know that you're the best and deserve it
Ok I'm going to bed sad now because it's like some love story where you missed "the one" by 5 minutes due to longposting on a orange cat enjoying homo forum good night
Also I should have lied that the noodles had thai estradiol or something so the !jannies would pin my effortpost but alas I guess that would be too many posts for their tastes thanks
Lmao suddenly thought of the "Sorrowful Rice" dish
went back tonight and was shocked but not really surprised that it was packed full of locals another testament to the chef's skills
gonna dig in now with some thai whisky for the full thai experience too, the place also makes oyster omelettes so I had to try since the Michelin ones were pretty meh
Update: Pad thai was amazing as usual and they should stick to that IMO oyster omelette tasted bad to me but maybe that's their style since I didn't like the other ones too the noodles though O M G
edit: alcohol purchase hours are so weird here because you're allowed to buy booze from 11am onwards till midnight except for a 3 hour period between 2-5 pm lol
something to take note of if you ever come to thailand
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@chiobu was taunting me with delicious singaporean food while i was away from my kitchen, now that i'm home i made a bowl with his marsey on it + tried my hand at the recipe i've been thinking about for 2 weeks
original recipes: https://www.singaporeanmalaysianrecipes.com/bak-chor-mee-singaporean-noodles/#recipe https://www.singaporeanmalaysianrecipes.com/bak-chor-mee-singaporean-noodles/#recipe
my mayo version with subbed ingredients i could find here:
(most of the ingredients + marinating meats + soaking shrooms, u don't actually need 5 spice i got it out on autopilot)
120g flat egg noodles (dry), i used half wide, half thin
ground pork:
50g ground pork
2 tsp soy sauce
1/4 tsp white pepper
1 tsp cornstarch
1 tsp toasted sesame oil
sliced pork:
50g thinly sliced pork
1 tsp soy sauce
MSG MSG MSG
white pepper
broth:
pork stock from my freezer, ~1L (to make your own just boil bones and water)
1 bunch spring onions, use the butts
10 black peppercorns
1 star anise
2 tsp salt
MSG MSG MSG
2 tbsp dried spicy anchovies
shrooms:
30g dried shiitake
250 ml water
2 tbsp soya
1 tbsp fish sauce
1 tbsp chinese black vinegar
1 tsp sugar
toppings:
LARD
spam lmao
soya
chili oil (the fermented kind with peanuts :drool:)
shroom liquid
chinese black vinegar
broth
fish balls i made an undetermined time ago
from my freezer
chopped spring onion
instructions
night b4:
soak shrooms in hot water, cover
day of:
meats:
marinade the meats in separate bowls with the ingredients called for
stock:
put everything from the broth category into a pot except the anchovies, cook for at least an hour, skimming if you notice blech on top. add anchovies, cook another 15 minutes, strain and keep stock hot
shrooms:
put all the stuff from the shroom category in a pot, simmer for an hour or until the liquid has mostly absorbed, keep warm and keep extra shroom liquid
noodles:
cook in boiling water silly
toppings and assembly:
fry spam in lard cus you're a fat piece of shit, slice some shrooms, put fishcakes in your broth and cook them for a few minutes, put your meat in a skimmer in the broth and cook for ~1 minute (or until done to your liking) while stirring it around with your chopsticks so it cooks evenly, serve all of it over noodles along with however much vinegar/lard/chili oil/broth/shroom liquid that you like, add spring onions because vegetables means it's healthy
notes:
would make fewer shrooms next time (maybe 15g) as my ratio was off, would figure out what pork i'm actually supposed to use (this actually a lie i would use spam 100% of the time because spam is the best), maybe use less fish sauce with the shrooms next time, i bet vinegar in the ground pork marinade would go hard
compared to the photos from the recipe i don't think i did too bad! < theirs mine>
overall 10/10 so glad i prepped extras so i can have it for a few days, no clue how people there stay while having this easily accessible, thank you chiobu for telling me about this!!!!
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Well technically, 2nd one time thing. She did this video for gourmet confetti cake before.
To everyone who's not familiar with the background:
Bon Appetit is a Conde Nast Magazine
Its Youtube Channel used to have a video series where Claire Saffitz made gourmet versions of commercially available food products: Gourmet Makes.
The series is responsible for a lot of Bon Appetit's most popular videos, accounting for half of the current top twenty most viewed videos on the Bon Appetit channel.
However, when people found out Bon Appetit pays different rates for different talents, some people accused Bon Appetit of racism. (Why would BA pay someone who gets them 10 million views the same as someone who gets them sub 100k views though?).
People went through old tweets from BA's top editor and one of Conde Nast's VPs and found old chuddy tweets, so Bon Appetit got cancelled.
A lot of their talent cut ties as a result, with varying levels of success for those talents.
Claire Saffitz was one of the breakout stars of the channel so a lot of the BA audience followed her when she went solo.
She's had success in her cookbooks and youtube channel.
She's held back on making videos where she makes gourmet versions of commercially available food products so far in her post-BA youtube career.
Nobody's sure if she has done so because she doesn't want legal trouble for yoinking the IP or if she wants to pivot her identity away from the series to establish herself as a pastry chef and recipe developer.
However, the views of her most popular videos still pale in comparison to the views Gourmet Makes garnered. Her current most popular video has 4.4 million views, whereas the most popular Gourmet Makes video has 13 million views.
Her 10 latest videos before this video averages at around 250k views, with the oldest having a 4-month headstart and the newest having a 1-month headstart.
The current video has gotten more than that in just 1 day.
What do y'all dramanauts think?
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Pre-heat oven to 350 or don't, just leave it in there a bit longer
Open your package of Tikka Masala and put in a skillet
Put skillet in the oven for 30 or so minutes
Bon appetite!
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Gnd beef 90% 3 lb
1 lb garden rotini
1 lb mushroom peppers onions whatever
1 lb tomatoes
1 jar pasta sauce
Boil rotini al dente, chop veggies while you wait, rinse in collander and leave in sink.
add everything but tomatoes and sauce, brown, add tomatoes and cook for like a minute, add back pasta and pour in sauce. Mix and Walla you have something tasty your boytoy can get packed in him at night. Makes a whole giant pot so have one of those.
Later homos.
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I finished a bowl of Shin Ramyun Black (w/ only half a package of the spicy powder) and now I'm so warm and sleepy
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A lot of fast food slop gets me pooping a couple hours later.
Plus how do you finish a plate/meal packed with so many carbs?
I end up feeling sick during the meal as well.
Are burgers just built different that you have iron slop stomachs?
Teach me your fat ways.
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look like flesh
low fiber
don't digest easily
smell like death when rotting
The opposite of plants.
In many cultures watermelons are considered meat. In China pregnant women are forbidden from consuming watermelon
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!goyslopenjoyers deep fried onion from texas roadhouse
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Made this for lunch just now. I've tried getting the beef right for these darn things a bunch of different ways. Internet people have all sorts of ways they've tried to get it just like the restaurants, but the only one I've seen that looked like it would realistically work was this massive bearded greek dude shoving like 5 pounds of lamb shoulder onto two spits and throwing it on a charcoal grill. I'm just trying to make lunch here, though. I've tried to make a mini spit using the rotisserie attachment in my toaster oven, and that looked and smelled great, but the meat completely dried out and was nasty inside.
Other internet ideas were like to use ground meat and form a really tight meatloaf and bake it in the oven, then you can cut thin slices off it that look a lot like the gyro places, but it's lacking the super brown crispy outside you want.
This time I bought some really thin ribeye steaks (like less than 1/2") that people usually use to make carne asada. I figured with how thin they were I'd want the pan to be really fricking hot, so I did a test run with one of them with the heat cranked all the way up on my stove and a cast iron skillet. Darn near lit my kitchen on fire, like the oil in the pan actually just made a poof noise and burst into flames. The steak didn't get burned though, even with me moving it around in the pan to smother the fire. The steak was a perfect medium rare cooking it just one minute a side. Problem, though: medium rare steak is too chewy for sandwich or sandwich-adjacent preparations.
Finally, I marinated the rest of the steaks and cooked them with slightly less heat (although still enough that the pan was smoking up my kitchen) for 2 minutes a side. They're pretty well done, but perfect for a gyro because you can bite through the pieces so easily. Then I put this together and smashed the whole thing into my face. The end.
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The menu would be focused on the hits.
Breakfast 24/7 -- BK French Toast and McD pancakes + hashbrown. Don't know which one you feel like? That means you want both.
Arby's crinkle fries
Arby's curly fries
(these are the only fries)
Arby's Roast Beef sandwiches
Burger King Whoppers
McDonald's Nuggets
McDonald's Cones
Wendy's Frosties (chocolate only)
Taco Bell tacos
Taco Bell burrito supreme
Pizza Hut personal pans
If the franchising fees didn't kill you, you'd make a million dollars a day.
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The limited time only Bacon Cajun Ranch Deluxe McCrispy at McDonald's is an achievement in goyslop and logistical efficiency.
It is a repackaged McCrispy sandwich comprised of existing resources and materials. Wagies need minimal training and no new supply lines are needed.
Bun, crispy chicken patty, tomatoes, bacon, shredded lettuce, and their existing spicy ranch sauce.
✡️✡️✡️✡️✡️ Slop
🔥🔥⚫⚫⚫ Spice
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I need ideas / recipes for easy to make kazakhstan food.
I have to make a bunch of Kazakhi food for reasons so I need easy recipes without much substitution. Like substituting cow for lamb is acceptable.
Currently I'm thinking of making Boortsog and Samsa.
I was thinking of maybe Shashlik since it's basically a kebab and easy
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Title