So like, my uncle heard about my Porsche engine troubles and offered me a 2000 Volvo V70 XC with 178k miles.
Do I need it? No! I already have three cars (one functioning). Will this be another distraction and moneypit? Yes! Do I want it anyways? OMG YES.
Other than my first car, a minivan, I've never had something I could just not worry about using for trips to the hardware store, hauling large shit, or using as a weapon during road rage flare-ups. This has given me a new lease on life!
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Also my cousin drove this during his first couple years of college when he had a SUPER HOT girlfriend so there's a chance it still smells like her.
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May you harness his mojo
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Sniff the seats
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braaapp
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You can pile the racoons in for soccer
practice
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I've already ruined one car by letting raccoons inside of it.
This is going to be strictly business. Business as in I'll use it as a work car so I don't look too fancy and overpaid pulling up to clients.
Yeah that's right, I've decided to start working again. Funemployment is OVER.
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Is your trust fund drying up?
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I've come to the realization that I'll be absolutely fricked by the time I'm 60 if I keep living like this and could also use some structure in life.
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So 15 years?
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21 years. You know there's plenty of users older than me on here. Some of them even have wives and kids
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Why did they name 'the hatchback' after its most disgusting feature?
That's like naming a stray dog you find 'tapeworm'.
Don't forget to turn off signatures in settings!
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At least it's not a VW Tiguan that looks like every other black SUV on your street and you have to press the button on your keys to make the lights go off to figure out which anon black suv is yours 🥲
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Niguan
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I was so close to buying a Tiguan a few months ago.
What year is yours?
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I have no idea 🤗 it's a rental and I don't pay for it so I don't give a frick 🤗
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Must feel pretty square driving a car that's actually registered this time.
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Lmfao right
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What happened to the mercedes?
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At first my sister wanted it but we returned it.
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Like, as a couple?
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Bring rich enough
to just slam a car into someone when it's deserved 
and just walk away on the regular 
is a sexual fantasy 
of mine
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When I had my minivan I once pushed a car out of the way to take its parking space and the other car got towed for blocking a driveway.
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Unironically laughed
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I love Volvos, there's something special about them. I've got one of the current generation wagons and it's great, but the older enormous boxy ones are my favourite. You should post like 20 pics of if inside and out once you get it.
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If I get it I'm definitely going to take it on a photo adventure. If I don't get it, I'll likely help him sell it (he's dying of the bad cancer) and I'll end up taking cool photos of it anyways.
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Volvos are are for either hicks or gay urbanites
I've always wanted one. Make sure it's got a turbo
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200hp of turbocharged inline-5 pleasure.
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Aren't Volvos nice cars?
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Yeah they're nice but the company has been owned by a bunch of different parent companies over the years and each generation has its own quirks.
The car is only worth about $2k so if something breaks I can just drive it into the woods where I hide all of my broken machinery.
This post may sound sarcastic but I am 100% serious about being seriously stoked about this.
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Ohhhhh lmao that's good, happy you're happy with your new ride!!! I would never be ashamed to drive an old Volvo. It's very preppy handbook tbh.
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That b-word Carolyn stole my original copy!
FRICK YOU CAROLYN I MADE OUT WITH YOUR YOUNGER AND PRETTIER SISTER AT YOUR PARENTS HOUSE.
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Im not a car person sorry 😢
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