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OP in /r/NoStupidQuestions

Wife slapped 3yo son on belly. What do I do

Obvious throwaway account.

Wife (37f) slapped my son (3) on the belly HARD last night. Left a welt and him in tears. She was trying to change his diaper and he was kicking her while she was doing it. Instead of walking away and trying again, she smacked him. This isn't the first time she's hit our kids. She's also slapped our 5 yo daughter in the face months ago because of some meltdown and back talk. We agreed when we became parents that spanking wasn't for us. She's also the one who is all about "gentle parenting" but then doesn't do it. We have a total of 4 kids (7, 5, 3, 1). I work away from home and so I'm not always there to help regulate things. We've been married for almost 10 years. I love my wife to death but I do NOT want her slapping or hitting our kids. I don't know what to do. She's willing to do therapy but I'm still feeling weird about everything. Help, please.

Literally no stay at home mom has ever managed to raise 4 children without resorting to violence in a fit of rage

Having one kid is overwhelming, having four? My God. I do not know your family or financial situation but I would reach out to the grandparents and/or hire a nanny. Even 8 hour twice a week can help a person feel like a human again and reduce anxiety by a significant amount. There is no shame is admitting you're overwhelmed. This is not going to go away and it will only escalate with time. Do not neglect it.

Why are you too busy working for money?

So instead I'd talk to your wife about general anxiety, see if she's up for seeing a neurologist for evaluation of depression, general anxiety disorder, or other very real disorders that are easily treated with medications. It sounds like her biggest challenges align with her inability to cope when she feels out of control.

So focus on "coping skills", along with real evaluations by a good neurologist for the disorders that making coping very difficult. She needs to be able to create order when kids are misbehaving and causing chaos.

I'll also echo the other comments that your wife is showing very clear signs of being overwealmed. You need to find some ways to lighten her load. Either be more present yourself, engage with grandparents, hire a nanny. One person cannot carry the burden of raising a family entirely themselves.

Redditor acts like working away from home is a novel concept and not the norm for parents

4 kids all under the age of 10, with 3 of them not yet being in school and you "work away from home"?

Why did you guys do this? Obviously she's overburdened. Physical violence is never okay, but you need to get your wife some help asap.

For people constantly on the brink of bankruptcy, redditors sure are eager for other people to employ a nanny

4 kids and you're away all the time? maybe get her a housekeeper or nanny to help out?

3 year old isn't potty trained. Someone else to blame. Also what if the shoe was on the other foot?

I'm sorry you have four kids under eight and your 3 year-old isn't even potty trained? I'm sure she's extremely overwhelmed. You need to get her some help in there. it's dads job to call CPS and he obviously isn't, so it's certainly not my job

Question - would this be your response if a father slapped his 5 year old across the face and left a welt on his 3 year old's stomach and claimed he did it because he was feeling overwhelmed? Because somehow I don't think you or anyone else here would be as sympathetic or forgiving if it was a man who did this.

Seriously. I'm a woman and I'm getting fricking pissed off with these comments. Don't worry about getting her help right now. Worry about your goddarn kids who are being abused. It doesn't matter why they're being abused. It doesn't matter why she's abusing them. She is terrorizing and abusing babies. Get the babies out. Save your babies. Why the heck is everybody talking about getting her help? Yes, get her help. But first, help the innocent babies.

Chud alert. Someone suggests this is happening more often than OP realizes

I would suggest that she is hitting them more often than just the instances you are aware of

My first thought too. There's no way shes only hitting them when he happens to be there.

common redditor origin story

My mom used to hit me. I have had a lifetime grudge against her, starting as early as I can remember (around 4).

I genuinely hate her.

I haven't talked to her in 12 years. I have never missed her. She will never know her grand child.

That is one of your wife's possible future.

Redditor realizes that redditors are deranged and will ignore a beaten baby to say wife good husband bad

Jesus fricking christ, the amount of people defending child abuse in here is actually fricking nuts. How on earth is 'parents shouldnt beat their BABIES so hard they leave welts' a controversial opinion in here.

I love women on the internet. In fact, here in Brazil chuddies started the catchphrase ''women on the internet'', which made feminists seethe (!macacos muié na net)

Women on the internet always follow the same pattern. Just look at it.

>My bf (32m) asked me 1 year into our relationship what my (27f) body count is. Previously to this he hadn't asked the questions but has said he gave me opportunities.

Opener, she tells you the gist of the story.

>When I was 18-20 I had approximately 10 sexual experiences, all drunk, 'black out' type, party, and a horrible horrible dissociative time of my life. Each experience traumatised me. I was in an extremely dark place of my life and I lost my virginity to sexually assault at a party so I think from there it spiralled down.

Before even saying how it came to that, she's already playing victim. Woe is me, I used to get my holes filled daily during my whore phase.

>Recently my bf asked me the question of body count, when he asked me I sort of blacked out and had to recall all these past experiences, they came out slowly over time since telling him an approximate number.

lol lmao

''i fricked so many neighbors i cant even remember the number lmao'' isnt exactly good optics

>That was six months ago, since then however he has been constantly off with me and still upset. He thinks I lied and deceived him and he doesn't like my past. He said if he had of known it would have given him the choice to proceed with the relationship or leave.

don't get me wrong, the boyfriend is an r-slured cuck, he should have asked those first and if it was a dealbreaker (it should be for any self-respecting male) he should have left. or he could leave now that it is a dealbreaker but he's too straggy to be open about it.

>Ever since he asked me the question I have had to relieve things more and more daily, it has been extremely painful for me. When we where together I did not once ever have a memory or a thought to share with him this time in my life. To me it feels like I must have blocked it out or something.

Yeah, you're the victim. He has to live with a whore, but you're the victim. lmao

>I have been absolutely transparent with him about this but he is still being passively hateful toward me.

Yeah neighbor no one likes a hoe

!alligatorfrickhouse

Dear How to Do It,

I'm in desperate need of position suggestions from an expert, and not the far reaches of the internet! I (cis woman) relatively recently started having s*x with my GF, a relatively sexually inexperienced person (they/them). I'm also FWB with a physically disabled person (they/them). Both are fully aware of the other, we're poly and we communicate, just stating that for the record.

Both of my partners have peepees. Every single peepee-owning sexual partner I've had in my life has slipped out of me---I move a lot, and apparently get wetter than most of my partners' previous partners, so this doesn't surprise me. I like a giggle during s*x and it's not like I mind the extra stimulation on my clit! However I know my GF is a little shy about their inexperience, and that they get a little flustered in the moment if we don't get the angles quite right, and I'd like to give them a little gentle guidance until they're more comfortable with how we work together. Our best luck has been to prop my butt up on a pillow and push one or both of my legs up while we face each other.

My FWB is disabled and not always able to make a lot of active movements during s*x (sometimes they're able to rail me, sometimes not). My biggest problem is that when I'm riding them their during stronger physical symptom days, I have trouble keeping myself balanced, up, and on all without using their body for support---it's like if I try to reach the bed with one hand, I slip off their peepee or lose my leverage (bad symptom days mean I can't put too much pressure in one spot, and that they may not have the strength to help support my thighs or butt).

I am a fat woman with, primarily, a big belly and some thicker thighs, so I take up a bit of space from the front. A lot of s*x advice is aimed at skinny people and is not always super comfortable when you have to factor in a belly! Any position ideas I can subtly but confidently introduce to my GF, and any tips for riding peepee better when I'm a dizzy girl who needs to create support to stop from falling?

---I know part of the answer is "do core exercises and leg day"

Dear Core Exercises and Leg Day,

For help with your question, I reached out to Hanne Blank Boyd, author of Big Big Love: A S*x and Relationships Guide for People of Size (and Those Who Love Them) and writer of the Reasons Not to Quit substack. She had a lot of ideas, which I'm sharing in full below. It's a good thing that she delivered, too, because I was going to suggest installing a grab bar on the wall near your bed, which may have been less than aesthetically pleasing (though probably fine if you have something like a play room with a bunch of different s*x options like a sling or a rack of toys). Don't try that before trying these much simpler ideas courtesy of Boyd:

My best advice for this person is to consider positioning with a view toward what firm/supportive structures are nearby or can be nearby. For instance, instead of positioning themselves with their heads toward the head of the bed and feet toward the foot, if there is a wall at the head of the bed or a sturdy headboard, positioning so that they are alongside that wall/headboard and can use it for support is an option. So is putting a chair beside the bed, with the chair back toward the edge of the bed---again a thing you can hang on to and use for support.\

A pillow under the butt of the person on the bottom also can help to create more space both for bigger belly and bigger thighs for the person on top. If that's not possible, consider reverse cowgirl---if the person on top is facing the other person's feet that usually makes more room for bellies/thighs. The support issue remains, but can be ameliorated with some firm cushions to either side (couch cushions can be great, or yoga bolsters).

I want to commend you for being as in touch with your partners' feelings and limitations as you are. You sound truly considerate and connected. If you find yourself needing more guidance, keep in mind that Boyd is available for one-on-one consulting "for people looking for guidance and support with regard to medical and body neutrality concerns." More info here.

Context: A Bong employment has tribunal ruled that the predominantly-women working in clothing stores should get paid the same as the predominantly-men working in the warehouses that supply those clothing stores. This is very clearly r-slurred and I'm posting this because I'm annoyed not because there's drama.

MARKET FORCES YOU FRICKING R-SLURS REEEE

This ruling is based on the same logic as the one that bankrupted Birmingham (UK) City Council last year, which compared bin men with dinner ladies.

!britbongs how do we put women the genie back in the kitchen bottle?

!britbongs good morning

men want s*x from women, but hate women that have s*x

It's called The Whore Test and you failed.

I see a lot of hypocrisy that is never addressed.

women never gripe about this myth

They say that "sluts" are disgusting,

but would have s*x with them and brag about it.

They act promiscuous with no repercussions,

while calling their female counterparts the most degrading names.

They would stick it in every hole they find and still think they deserve a "good girl".

Baby keep going, I'm almost there

The frustrating thing is that anything you do as a woman can get you called a slut.

A gentleman only goes as far as a lady allows.

Every time I see a woman online making a s*x joke or even slightly suggesting that she might have a s*x life, the comments are filled with hate.

And I find that kinda funny, cause every guy that's hating was born because a woman had s*x.

Yes. My mother has face-to-face s*x with my father (married) for the single purpose of procreation, while at peak ovulation and fertility, with the sole objective of bringing me into this world.

Personally, I never did it and I have no desire to, I kinda want to avoid all the hate.

But it's not practical since most guys want you to give it up early on. So, yeah, that's just a thought I wanted to get out.

Sorry if my english is broken.

More like your hymen.

!titsorgtfo !thotpatrol !thotpatrollers

As a fat dude who has opinions on his preferred partner body type, when an old frick buddy hit me up for another meet up after years of not seeing each other, when we meet up for drinks she was shocked at my size and lost interest and told me exactly why. Her exact words are still in my brain four years later. I will never forget and will hate her for life. I completely understand not being attracted to certain body's, if she had said sorry not interested anymore I would've been frustrated but for a short time, but it would have been forgotten.

Least sensitive fatty

I wonder when one of his FWB is going to tell him he sucks at eating pus s y if none of these girls are catching feelings.

100% is terrible at it. 😂

Fatty cope

White woman shoots down a giraffe in Africa for fun.

Trophy hunting should be banned

Your comments on this pic.twitter.com/MVB9rUPXPl

— African Hub (@AfricanHub_) August 23, 2024

As we know, brains only stop developing around age 25, which means consent is basically impossible before that.

On the other hand, foids hit the wall right around the same time and are wholly defunct for baby making purposes (or any use, really, other for voting for 3rd worlders migration and abortion rights)

Therefore, it stands to reason that all s*x is either predatory or pointless.

!fellas, how do we approach this conundrum?

After yet another attack by radical scrotal extremist, it's time to be honest about the biggest problem facing our society: the chromosome. Every single terrorist attack, murder, r*pe, and war ever was planned and perpetrated by the male, and yet, time after time, politicians and the media scramble to blame poverty , immigration, resource shortages, and jordan peterson. experience all of those too, so this is unambigously cope . The common factor in every atrocity is the scrote

It is time to forge ahead with a better society. One free of the unholy curse of the