I recently discovered a mountain lion den a couple hundred feet from my house on my property. I've decided his name is George and I've started leaving him fish sticks. I still haven't seen him but the den is definitely active and I really want to be his friend. It seems like he's been living here a while and we have been very good neighbors. I might try to upgrade from fish sticks to rotisserie chicken but basically I am very excited to deepen our relationship and if anyone has any tips I would be glad to hear them.
Gorestrags unite! I love watchpeopledie.tv
2yr ago
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- TheAnti-Christ : Took down the ferms and keffals so expect refugees, the .ru is hiccuping, later ya'll
I have a pet mountain lion - need help domesticating
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Arenβt cooked chicken bones dangerous to animals since they become more shatter prone.
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Ok maybe no rotisserie chicken tho I feel like he could handle it
Really should just poach a deer in Minecraft and leave him the extra bits
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it's a fricking mountain lion (i mean if we take this at face value) they literally terrorize chicken coops
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Raw bones are fine bish. Itβs when theyβre heated up they become dangerous
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Die
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After you
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Dat butt is shatter prone.
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She's probably still not used to you. If you see her make
sure 
you turn 
around and limp away to show that you're not a threat
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I'm pretty big I am like 0% scared of this thing lol even if I was limping. If I see it tho I am going to crouch down and try to give it some food. Definitely need to appear unthreatening but it's impossible for me to look so unthreatening that it would attack.
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just in case neighbor is more r-slurred than expected the poster above me is telling you how to appear like prey to eat to the mountain lion. You showing limping with your back turned increases your chances of getting pounced on and eaten.
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Yes I know but George is very well fed and he isn't even brave enough to eat full size deer I am in zero danger
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Not to mention kind! George wouldn't hurt a fly!
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That thing is 100% going to eat you
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Like sexually or... We are talking about a cougar after all.
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death
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ur a r-slurred r-slur who hates drama. Admit it, cute twink.
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You hate drama if you won't troll someone into getting eaten by a cougar.
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My ultimate goal is to get a collar on him
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Be a little
empathetic, I'm sure 
some people think the same thing when they see you!
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Please watch this
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Oh this neighbor gonna die
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/r/AnActualMountainLionAteMyFace
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Post pictures
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I'll go down and take some tomorrow
Ugh tho then people gonna figure out my area based on the plants or something
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Too late loser, I already know where you live
According to my estimations it's somewhere in this area:
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Everytime a geoguessr video gets recommended to me by youtube i grow more terrified
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coward. i've straight up posted my house on here
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u gonna get r*ped
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Yeah dude your right there's no mountain lion just a pit full of carcasses and chewed on bones for no reason lmao
He's sneaky
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get a trail camera off amazon
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Actually good idea
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As a cerified Sasquatch Liason, I am advising you to treat this as a Credible Sighting. The X Files division is en route
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Itβs basically just
a larger version of a cat
Make sure
to bring a laser 
pointer 
and rub itβs belly
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To show him you're friendly you should rub his peepee, its what they do on Wildboyz
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catnip
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Oh shit that is a great idea
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Calvin Klein Cologne is actually known to attract big cats. They use it in zoos for enrichment all the time.
https://mountainlion.org/2010/06/24/ck-cologne-attracts-cougars-no-not-those-cougars-actual-cats/
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Mountain Lions look very cute tbh
Can American dramatards tell me if they ever attack humans or something?
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Frequently. But if you see one your safe they only like to ambush and won't go after someone who makes eye contact with them
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I mean they attack kids and small women sometimes. They are kinda cowards. Also if they are really hungry they can get weird but if you are a decent sized adult and they are well fed they are pretty chill.
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Redundant
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Mostly they just
stalk people for fun. They are confirmed to kill 
like one person 
per year 
but the true numbers aren' really known since a lot of people go missing 
in the woods every year 
and are never 
found.
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extract the juices from a raw prime rib and make a lil trail leading back to your porch door
pumas are very empathetic and will follow u back home to make sure your not injured
be sure to post photos of the kitty
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Contact Werner Herzog so he can document this entire experiment and we can have the penultimate entry for /h/museumofrdrama.
Do this and both your life and the existence of this site will achieve legend
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Awaiting the Mountain Lion eats OP saga
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this dude
on yt has a puma. aim for this:
it also seems to eat everything.
https://youtube.com/results?search_query=feeding+messi+puma+
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I like how he knows what is expected but isn't paying attention and only does it when forced most of the time.
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lol that seems dangerous
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I have a pet mountain
lion too! We go on walks together and play fetch. I've tried to teach him tricks but so far he just 
sits there 
and stares at me. Maybe you can try teaching him how to sit or lay down. Good 
luck!
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Frick you for stealing MarseyIsMyWaifuβs account
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He bought it, though.
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You are arguing in bad faith
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Commie.
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Sounds like you don't have a pet bucko. You got illusions of grandeur at most. You're in way over your head kid, this ain't your run of the mill feline. Not your house cat. Not even the feral cats. This is a killer. A literal apex predator.
I know you're stupid because you pontificated in the comments that maybe a rottiserie chicken will choke it with the bones. this is patently absurd, and you're absurd for believing it. This rhetoric is not only LAUGHABLE it's dangerous. Once they get the taste for flesh they don't stop. He darn sure isn't your pet and you'll be lucky if it lets you live.
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U are a kitty lmao
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What do mountain lions normally eat?
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i once domesticated a wild cat by feeding her milk. it wouldn't let you touch easily btw
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Can I have your coins if you get eaten?
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For now, 10mm as your AIWB when out in the yard, always. Glock 20 most affordable. Keep one in the chamber know how to react and back pedal. Mountain lions attack from angles. Be aware of the signs of rabies. Donβt be hostile, just know how to defend should it approach angry
Call your local fish cops to get them relocated. Donβt fricking feed them or they wonβt learn to survive and will just be more inclined to approach your property and be aggressive come winter. LEave no trace
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Buy a bunch of goats and start feeding it.
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You can't domesiticate them. You will need to breed them for 3-4 generations with a big group and only let the chill ones breed if you want a chance at that.
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Invite him over for dinner.
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Always stay armed just in case. Also, if you want it somewhat friendly ever, itll have to know that youβre the one feeding him.
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Stop stealing my bit, you ugly twink
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It's not a big lol this is my life
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Iβve been providing mountain lion news for months.
Your pretend βomg I found a denβ shit is a pure larp.
The elusive catamount doesnβt build dens, at most they would bury a kill under a tree.
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Frick it you asshat I'll go take some pictures in like an hour I gotta do some g*mer shit first
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No it isn't lol it is fricking outside my house right now
It's a pit/grove next to a game trail. You can see where it grabs shit off the game trail, drags it in the pit, and eats it. It also probably likes to sit in the tree.
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