this is who I am now
I'll go first;
My husband and I were sleeping 
over at my mom's house 
a few months ago because we needed to watch 
my youngest siblings for a few days while she was in another state 
saying her goodbyes her her dying 
brother 
We didn't mind and opted to sleep 
on the couch 
because there 
was enough 
room for us both to sleep together.
I was barely awake when my sister 
came home, she's a college 
dropout and a stoner.
She sat in the dining room across from the living 
room and said:
"Hey LilMarsey are you awake?"
"Trying not to be, why?"
"Could you get my weed and pipe so I can smoke? It's in my car and I forgot it"
".... Why?" At this point 
I'm sitting 
up just staring 
at her like:
"Because I just sat down."
"Well I'm trying to go to sleep, besides I'm not gonna 
touch 
it."
I laid back down and rolled over and she huffs and asks
"do you not touch the spoons in your house, just because there's the chance someone used them to do drugs?"
I rolled back over and just looked at her:
And she said with a huff
"Well?"
I just rolled back over and heard 
her sigh before 
getting up WALKING 
OUT THE DOOR and getting her weed.
_______
your turn!
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My friend's sister would bang her brother's friends just so they would continue being his friends so he wouldn't turn into a school shooter.
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This is crueler than him not having any friends if he ever finds out
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Some pimply moid who doesn't even know about this most affected
!moidmoment
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Nah he's right this shit will get him bullied even harder eventually.
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did you bang her?
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Well did it work?
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I didn't think he was gonna be a school shooter since he was a massive weeb, but you never know
Maybe he would shoot up a school for Saber.
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I tried watching
that series, it was kind of fun but I can't get past all the characters having almost the exact same face
Also honorary "I'd do it for saber" lol
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Was horrible enemies with my sister growing up but close friends as adults so I can't really complain. I can name off a couple of stupid things I've done to her though.
I dropped one of those really heavy hardcover illustrated children's bibles on her head from the top of the bunk bed for lying to our dad about me stealing a jellybean (I got the switch for the jellybean incident so I was particularly bitter).
After the subsequent switching from that, I hid up in a tree with an airsoft rifle and shot her in the hand.
Worth the grounding.
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You sound
feral
We had bunk beds growing up and we used to stage
public executions and suicides with our stuffed animals 
by throwing 
them over the side of the top bunk with a noose 
lol
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Did she ever learn not to narc?
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gigabased
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It was really really fake plastic airsoft rubber bullets
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No offense, but she sounds very r-slurred. I can't believe she woke you up to get her shit. She a brapper?
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Yep
She's also the kind of tard that thinks she's the smartest person
in the room. Honestly it would 
be really 
funny 
if I wasn't related to her
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The best part that I didn't mention is that when she got back inside
and blazed it in the dining room, I heard 
her complaining about me being too much of a kitty to touch 
paraphernalia because "I'm scared 
of getting high off of the residue"
Weed really
fried 
her brain, man
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She was right
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Sounds like my sister-in-law. She's surrounded by her loser friends and other losers at her loser job, and she's smart compared to those complete morons. But years of being a slacker and copious pot use means she's a fricking moron compared to anyone who's actually successful. She's always sarcastic and tries to talk down to everyone like she's the smartest person in the room, but when you return the favor she gets all pissy.
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It looks like your sister lives with your parents. My in-laws pay my sister-in-law's rent (and other expenses like car insurance). She doesn't know that they wrote her out of the will, so there is a drama time bomb to when she's going to get evicted after they die. We got a preview a few years ago when they went on vacation and something went wrong with the automatic bank transfer. After not being able to reach them, she blew up my wife's phone and then mine begging for money.
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Wow
My sister
decided to move out in the middle 
of the night 
last week and ran off to an apartment she surely 
can't afford.
I'm excited
to see how this goes down
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It depends upon whether your parents are enablers. Even though my mother-in-law knows that she's setting her daughter up for a massive shit storm, she doesn't have the heart to let her daughter fail now. So that's why my sister-in-law is able to extract all this money from her parents even though they know she's wasting a chunk of her income on pot and status symbols. Anyway, I'm just waiting for the inevitable lawsuit when the will gets contested, even though it's pretty iron clad (my in-laws are specifically giving their daughter some heirlooms that she will immediately pawn, and then noting that she is not to receive any of the other assets).
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I'm the oldest, so I just beat my siblings if they're about to do something stupid.
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Oldest sibling solidarity
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I'm the youngest but I could absolutely beat the wheels off my older sister if I wanted
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Married some foid within a week of knowing them
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How'd that work out?
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My granddad did that and they stayed married until they died.
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It's been a year and they're still together
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shat in the vent
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why? 😂😭
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mom said don't mess up the new carpet
he had sudden diarrhea
so "panicked" and took the vent out of the floor
His motivations were a subject of much debate
"I dunno I just panicked
"
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Probably so the whole house could enjoy the aroma. Very thoughtful!
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I saw an awful
FB reel recently of a mom interrogating her 3 year old son as to why all the air coming out the vents smelled like pee.
Apparently he'd been peeing in his bedroom vent for a few days
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I put house plant in pot without drainage in my son's room at one point when he was about 10. Like a month later his room just smelled putrid and wondered if a squirrel had got in the attic and died. No, he'd been pissing into the plant, and because no drainage the pot was to the brim with stale piss.
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That extra marsey
really 
adds to this
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omg! Lightly salted with ash apparently
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Does this mean I finally get to make oven jokes??? and thats the tea, sis
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It was winter and the heat was on
He tried to "act natrual" and hide it but his pooped pants were next to the vent
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LMAO
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It wasn't even a big load. He ate the same thing for lunch as breakfast and a big dinner.
The smell of his poop wasn't even that bad.
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It was a huge load because he was 10 and he according to him he hadn't pooped in days
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It's so odd that he was so secretive. It wasn't even that bad. I had a roommate pooping in the oven after he got too high, he did that one in the sink. He wasn't a secret about it.
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Who pooped the pants
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I don't know if it was the stupidest ever, but most recently when she was visiting my sister lectured me about how I'm privileged to not blow all my money eating out and to not have a private courier bring food to my doorstep at 30% markup. Also I had to cut down a big tree down and mow while she was here, and apparently doing manual labor in 100° weather is also a privilege. Not paying a few hundred dollars for a couple hours of labor is a luxury.
She's 38 saying this shit. Covid and trump has just fricking melted her brain.
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I had a 30 year old woman say I have cooking priviledge
IG labels everything not slothing as "a priviledge" right now because someone with chronic fatigue and a job is being worked to the capitalist maximum past their limits and doesn't get to enjoy vacuuming, only scrolling IG
Living is sooooo much work 😭😭😭
It's very cult like at this point
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Getting fired for stealing company funds and then trying to live on sports betting profits
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he was so embarrassed about it that he didn't tell anyone until he was a week away from getting evicted.
The idea of taking care my aging parents with this r-slur is very anxiety inducing
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one time one of my siblings thought their eyelashes were too long (they were batting up against their glasses) so they cut them. like with a standard pair of scissors.
not a great decision imo
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Did they grow back?
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yeah but they grow kinda slowly, something most people wouldn't think about bc who the frick trims their eyelashes
at least they didn't frick up and clip their actual eyelids and "correctly" only got the lashes
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Jesus
My brothers
do that thing where 
you flip out your eyelids 
with your fingers 
and I'm waiting 
for one of them to tear an eyelid 
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I've done that but only when I frick up and lose one of my contacts behind my eye and need to try to dig that shit out (I do NOT like doing it)
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Wtf when do they do that?
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A few weeks
ago
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Is this something stupid? Are eyelashes not just hair?
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No, they whisk away dirt and sweat. Very important.
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Not the same as the hair on ur head bb
you could always try trimming them you'll find out real fast (as they did) that they serve an important purpose lol
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Caught
a virus, almost died and as a consequence walked away with diabetes type 1 which cost my family 
a bunch of money 
for insulin, pumps and all that shit. What a fricking 
Kitty.
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I didn't even know that was possible
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Yeah sucks to suck I guess
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Oh you then probably also don't know that you can get diabetes from being pregnant?
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I know that. Gestational diabeetus.
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My brother is a year and a half younger than me. We were close but very different growing up, and he's always been favored by both parents because I was a rowdy kid. Anyway, the dude went to college, moved back into my parents house (I was living there, too, to save for an apartment), and was drinking heavily from a very heavy Patriots collectors mug. He saw me tap one of the family dogs harshly on the nose to help train the dog to learn not to jump on me.... out of nowhere my little brother screams, "WTF ARE YOU DOING TO MY DOG?!" And the heavy mug collided with my upper left arm. Then he punched that same area, then grabbed my shoulders and slammed me backwards onto the tile flooring, giving me a concussion.
My loving parents watched some of what happened. I was immediately disarmed of my phone (luckily I got it back to take pictures of the extensive bruising) and placed under 2 meal a day quarantine until the bruises were not as huge and "my brother calmed down," because that had SCARED him!
anyway, he's forced to speak to me again after all these years, and he socializes like an neurodivergent. I would pity him if he weren't making 3x my pay
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Darn that sounds so much like my sister. She has a big dog who was pretty
rowdy when I first 
met him
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My parents had just adopted 3 dogs and I know how to train animals, I was just doing my job to make the dogs behave
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Darn, you're really mad over this, but thanks for the effort you put into typing that all out! Sadly I won't read it all.
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I'm not mad, there are just lots of details hun
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zoz
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zle
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zozzle
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Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.
Snapshots:
ghostarchive.org
archive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
ghostarchive.org
archive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
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I should
tell my sister 
that
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Some packages
showed up at our house! 
But they were not our packages
they were the neighbor's 
"Looks like we got free presents!"
Mother joked.
My younger brother couldn't believe
what he was hearing!
He screamed
"Opening other people's mail 
is a federal 
crime!"
He started to freak out!
As much as people tried to tell him it was a joke... 
He just wouldn't listen!
After almost half an hour of this he took those packages and very angrily
but also smiling like a psycho 
from superior moral satisfaction brought them to the neighbor's doorstep.
Pissed at everyone
and extremely smug 
He would not stop trying to lecture 
everyone about law 
and how even joking about it was a horrible thing to do.
This escalated... so I took out my Big Brother Camera Phone
to record his freakout. He was malding but also smiling constantly. 
It was insane so I wanted to keep it.
Recording it pissed him off more to the point he got his butt beat by my kung fu brother
and mother 
combined.
I got to record this and still have the footage.
To this day he swears that he did not overreact to anything.
He still kinda always gets like this whenever he thinks he's on a moral high ground.
So I sometimes like to troll him by stepping even higher. Like advocating for pacifism even against literally hitler.
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Post the vid BIPOC
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Didnt read
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Not getting enough oxygen in the womb and being born mentally disabled
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Even making this a ghost thread I probably couldn't say because bardfinn will use it to dox me, but I have some bangers.
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Record is 1 days 13 hours 09 minutes and 59 seconds by TheDunceonFlorist
Best friend is BardWatch with 349 mentions
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Joining the army 6 months before 9/11. Poor bastard was burning barrels of shit using diesel in the desert for 2 years.
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The fact that my sister has clothes button phobia (koumpounophobia) and my parents kept it hidden from me until I was an adult, is one of the greatest injustices I've ever faced.
12 year old me could have had so much fun, I would have glued them to door handles and shit
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She's scared
of.... Buttons?
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Its the type of buttons that have holes in them. The pressed on type you would have on jeans is fine apparently.
Looking back it makes sense because she always got in trouble for uniform violations at school (girls blouses had buttons), and she now wears scrubs to work (no buttons). But yes it's very weird.
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Have you considered rolling
up to her house 
with some special 
effects makeup 
to make your eyes look like buttons
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My brother proposed to a girl over ten years ago and they're still in an on/off relationship (they never married) where she leeches off him and sees other men. It's so bad that I'm richer than him despite him making 3x my salary.
It's rough even seeing them together since he's a good looking guy with a good career and she's a
with no self control.
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A real brother would kill that b-word
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my brother got drunk as a teen once and broke the local mcdonalds windows by throwing chairs through them
he was arrested like 6 different times as a teen
duis, dealing drugs and public mischief shit
he was also a teen dad
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Screaming at Overwatch at 3am when my parents and I have to work the next day
Actually, now that I think of it, when he got in a fight with my mom and chimped out and punched a hole in the wall.
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