Extra challenge: Be funny

I've fricking HAD IT

I CANT GO 2 FRICKING MINUTES ON THE SHITHOLE INTERNET WITHOUT SEEING A FRICKING SOIJAK, OH LET ME GO ON YOUTUBE

>HAHA LE GEMMY! LE EPIC FUNNE BASEDJAK

NO ITS NOT

HOW FRICKING LOW IS YOUR INTELLECT THAT YOU FIND FRICKING MS PAINT CHILDREN DRAWINGS 'FUNNY'?

IS IT A BIG RUSE? IS EVERYONE JUST PRETENDING TO BE R-SLURRED HERE?

HOW FRICKING DUMB MUST YOU BE THAT THE BEST ARGUMENT YOU CAN CREATE IS A FRICKING WOJAK WITH GLASSES ON

I DONT LOOK LIKE THAT. NOBODY FRICKING LOOKS LIKE THAT. YET YOU STILL POST THIS DEAD, SHITTY FRICKING MEME ON THIS SHITTY FRICKING SITE

I DONT SAY IT LIGHTLY WHEN I SAY I FRICKING HATE YOU. HATE YOU AND THIS SHITTY FRICKING DEAD /INT/ MEME

EVEN FRICKING /INT/ R-SLURS DONT LIKE THIS BULLSHIT MEME ANYMORE. FRICK YOU FRICK YOU FRICK YOU

I HOPE JANNIES BAN EVERY SINGLE FRICKING WOJAK SPAMMER ON THIS SHITTY DEAD FRICKING SITE.

my kitty is so tight. my kitty is so tight that i can't have s*x. i don't let anything inside me, and it's not my choice. my kitty closes when the moment of intimacy comes, like the gate to a fortress pulls shut as the enemy army masses outside. my kitty is impregnable, unable to be impregnated. it closes to stay safe like you close your window when the pleasant october freshness hardens into cold gray november.

guys think it's really hot when i tell them about my unfrickably tight kitty. the male urge to overpower my fortress, to be the battering ram that can crack me open and reveal my soft warm insides. i'm two drinks in sitting at the outdoor tables at clandestino, and he's had three. he's sitting on my left, and he's reaching his right arm on to my left thigh, after we've been pulled closer together through the summer night, and i think now is the time to inform him that if he takes me to his place in the east village my kitty will be too tight for us to frick. and at first he thinks that's really hot. he grasps my thigh tighter, and the words he says don't register in my head because i've heard them so many times. i just smile. we go home separately.

i've been this way my whole life. my kitty has always been a closed asylum that admits no refugees. the first time it happened, when it closed for my highschool boyfriend in his 2008 toyota corolla on the scenic overlook hill on the edge of town after winter formal, it was really difficult. i didn't yet know that i wasn't closing myself specifically for him, i didn't yet know that i close myself to the whole world, and so i thought my biological rejection was an emotional rejection of him. he ended things with me in february, a few weeks after the moment in the corolla where all of our flesh touched the other's but his could not go inside of mine. it was the sort of breakup where the initiating party thinks they're doing it because the other party doesn't like them and they need to protect themselves from continued unsure commitment. and the sad part is i thought he was right, that i didn't really like him, with my too tight kitty as proof.

my fortress has been penetrated exactly one time, by the man with the peepee small enough to sneak in. i don't know how much i should say about him because that one night was the closest i've ever felt to love. love falls apart if you describe it too much, but i'll say a little. the man with the small peepee loved the adam friedland show, he was a moderator on their fan groomercord server, he loved shopping at uniqlo, and i think he loved me too. i hadn't even remembered to tell him about my too tight kitty by the time we headed back from the axethrowing barcade to my place. when he took off his clothes, he revealed such a small peepee, the smallest i've ever seen. i gasped, thinking maybe he could get inside me. and he did. i can't bring myself to talk about what happened after. i don't know if i'll ever find someone else with peepee that small i can love in the same way.

SHOW MORE

In order to properly convey the level of emotions that I feel about this situation, I need you to understand the weight of The End of Evangelion.

I've already been spending a fricking month working on a mostly done Pikmin 3 speedrun video that has been constantly interrupted by this shit.

Just paypigged and pinned a post on a popular cat emoji website because I've read lots of testimonies online about how people have found partners and even spouses in the webzone. My goal is to find a house, make friends, and find validation in that and hopefully even get a girlfriend.

I tried doing the same thing on 4chan because of how popular e-dating is supposed to be there, got 4chan Gold at my peak and turned out either it was false or I'm not social enough. I think in an webzone you kind of are forced to award others repeatedly so I can build a rapport with people and make friends, hopefully this means I'll be posting with women repeatedly.

You seem like one of the most genuinely unlikable posters on this website, OP. Like some people post here because they enjoy drama, I think you post drama here because you're genuinely unpleasant, and the drama is a way to act like it's for website content instead of your true irritating nature.

Thank you for adding /s to your post. When I first saw this, I was horrified. How could anybody say something like this? I immediately began writing a 1000 word paragraph about how horrible of a person you are. I even sent a copy to a Harvard professor to proofread it. After several hours of refining and editing, my comment was ready to absolutely destroy you. But then, just as I was about to hit send, I saw something in the corner of my eye. A /s at the end of your comment. Suddenly everything made sense. Your comment was sarcasm! I immediately burst out in laughter at the comedic genius of your comment. The person next to me on the bus saw your comment and started crying from laughter too. Before long, there was an entire bus of people on the floor laughing at your incredible use of comedy. All of this was due to you adding /s to your post. Thank you.

source: https://old.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1c8vefq/two_big_chances_for_jackson_both_saved_by_ortega/l0hfzu9/?context=8&sort=controversial

Brevity is the soul of wit, and the death of rdramastrags

Hes back!!!1!11!!11

Are you aware of the Signing of the 2D3 Mutual Protection Treaty? I suppose you're not. Very well - in the year 2016, 8chan /x/ first discovered sapient 2D lifeforms. We initiated first communications, but the phase-unevenness of our physical forms prevented direct contact. In 2017, scientists on both sides of the divide came to the conclusion that 2D completes us in the 3D phase, and vice versa. To this end, a Mutual Protection Treaty was signed, ensuring that we would provide these beings with protection, in exchange for completion. You call them 'pedophillic, infantilizing" and seek to eradicate them for the "crime" of offending your puritarian sensibilities. And we will respond to this unprovoked attack against our true nakama with total genocide. Consider this a fair warning - we will not hesitate to exterminate your kind to protect those beings who reached out to us, and finally gave us peace.

pee pee poo poo

Born too early to deploy to the Middle East.

Born too late to deploy to the Middle East.

Born just in time to deploy to the Middle East.

I won 3rd place in a short story contest at my uni. It was about a rich white boy who enlists to fight vietcong to rebel against his white man and adopts an old black man as his surrogate father and becomes distraught when his surrogate father gets shot by a vietnamese and war crimes them and then finds out his surrogate black father was actually shot by racist southern white boys because he outranked them so he shoved one into a tiger trap and watches him bleed out and the story ends. Moral of the story? Didn't have one. Just wrote bullshit that was mostly coherent. Captivating to California literary college wokescolds who afraid of war and violence? Absolutely. Prize? $25 gift card to Jamba Juice.

https://www.reddit.com/r/emojipasta/top/

https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/top/

Luckily, I try to prep for every possible self defense situation that could reasonably come up in a day to day scenario, and this is one of the battle scenarios I drill for on a weekly basis.

Whenever I leave the house I cover myself in copious amounts of lotion and Vaseline in order to skinmaxx and privilegemaxx. This also allows me to break free of grapples easier. Next, 4 hours before leaving my house I'll usually ingest about 50mg of chocolate laxatives before inserting my squat plug as my daily Carry. I always keep my butthole loaded, but on safety hence the squat plug to prevent a negligent discharge.

In this scenario, the women attempting to steal my innocence and purity would be unable to grab me and hold me down. If the lotion and Vaseline dries up, I can remove my squat plug and fire a few rounds, taking out a few of the women and replenishing the lubrication in a 5 foot radius. I'll then put my weapon back on safe and wait to reload in the fetal position from the safety of my shit swamp that I have just created. Rinse and repeat until all threats are neutralized, and I can continue about my day knowing that the threats are over, as I'm already covered in shit and Vaseline.

Dong activated

“On this sub we can always count on you to show up and say something fricking stupid and backwards.“

He killed a p-do. If the Onion were still funny it would have followed ii this trial with “Rash of Kyle Rittenhouse copycats devastate Child molesters community.

Child molesters all over America are scared as doughy losers, troubled babyfaced young men, and High school dropouts are abandoning school shootings as the path to fame and notoriety since they realize that they too cam become beloved heroes by bagging themselves a chomo. “It's not safe on the streets,” says Tim O'Boyotoucher, a former Catholic priest now counseling “at-risk youth” in the homeless camps of San Francisco following a short prison sentence “It's open seasons on MAPs.” Henry Smalls, an obese anime fan, furry, and fat rights activist currently in traction at the Joe Paterno memorial hospital agrees. “I was talking to this cute little loli by the schoolyard and trying to get her into my Obi-San van when a group of baka baras pulled up and unloaded a full clip at me. If I hadn't studied the blade and mastered ninjutsu, I'd be dead.” When reached for comment the school principal, who asked to remain anonymous on threat of lawsuit, disputed this and claimed that Mr. Smalls had been assaulted by a little league baseball team. Clearly , Kyle's cruelty has even corrupted our youth. Hugh j. Peepee , head of the local Pride organization told us “It's not my problem” and that we should “Get out of my house before I call the cops”.”

Something like that but actually funny.

I just received my first vagina monologue which is a voice foids hear once a month which can cause BPD if they don't ignore it and I think that means I am ready to be initiated into your order so I can learn the greater mysteries and I would like to request approval to the biofoids ping group.

I grew up reading about how booth babes didnt like sweaty weird guys and I was like "darn, I want to dress up as a scantily clad cheerleader and have fat ugly guys c*m on my face"

DEGRADING POST ON CUCKOLDFORUMS ARE CUCKOLD FICTION MEANT FOR CUCKHOLDS TO FEEL CUCKED

DEGRADING POST ON CUCKOLDFORUMS ARE CUCKOLD FICTION MEANT FOR CUCKHOLDS TO FEEL CUCKED

DEGRADING POST ON CUCKOLDFORUMS ARE CUCKOLD FICTION MEANT FOR CUCKHOLDS TO FEEL CUCKED

DEGRADING POST ON CUCKOLDFORUMS ARE CUCKOLD FICTION MEANT FOR CUCKHOLDS TO FEEL CUCKED

DEGRADING POST ON CUCKOLDFORUMS ARE CUCKOLD FICTION MEANT FOR CUCKHOLDS TO FEEL CUCKED

DEGRADING POST ON CUCKOLDFORUMS ARE CUCKOLD FICTION MEANT FOR CUCKHOLDS TO FEEL CUCKED

DEGRADING POST ON CUCKOLDFORUMS ARE CUCKOLD FICTION MEANT FOR CUCKHOLDS TO FEEL CUCKED

DEGRADING POST ON CUCKOLDFORUMS ARE CUCKOLD FICTION MEANT FOR CUCKHOLDS TO FEEL CUCKED

DEGRADING POST ON CUCKOLDFORUMS ARE CUCKOLD FICTION MEANT FOR CUCKHOLDS TO FEEL CUCKED

DEGRADING POST ON CUCKOLDFORUMS ARE CUCKOLD FICTION MEANT FOR CUCKHOLDS TO FEEL CUCKED

DEGRADING POST ON CUCKOLDFORUMS ARE CUCKOLD FICTION MEANT FOR CUCKHOLDS TO FEEL CUCKED

I haven't lost my virginity because I never lose.

When snappy says "this is an amazing thread, I'm going to read every reply " they should randomly upvote/downvote every reply

https://rdrama.net/h/meta/post/262714/me-showing-off-rdrama-irl/6285616#context

Carp would have loved this if he was still alive.

After Kim Jong Un gained all that weight America saw him as an ally

Oogity boogity ooma ta booma blah haha!

In my 22 person polycule, agile methodology has proven too inflexible and cumbersome to implement.

We keep ourselves at our best by eliminating the two lowest performers every Thanksgiving. This encourages us to be true owners of our communication, inspiring resourceful collaborative solutions. Our competitive tendencies and policies don't just inspire creativity and good performance; it also injects a lot of exciting tension and attraction into our lifestyle.

While this approach may sound harsh, it's generally a respectful and democratic process that we all prepare for. The votes are collected the day prior, and the polycule lead on rotation informs the affected members/lovers in a 1:1 before breakfast.

We serve a delicious Exgiving potluck where the departing members/lovers express how grateful they are for the opportunity and experience, as relevant. They then pose for headshot photos and we take a group photo which get posted near the Jack Welch self portrait gallery room.

As we nibble on dessert, we each write a note with any parting thoughts, along with a feedback survey and optional consent to be a reference for future opportunities. We also allow the soon to be departed (😔) a 30 minute open mic session to air any grievances but that opportunity has only been utilized a couple of times.

We finish off with one final cuddle puddle, and the recruiting process for the open spots (separate post) commences the following morning, concluding by New Years.

My World War 2 veteran grandpa saw the word “bussy” on a video

Last night he shoved his butt in the air and said “look at my bussy” and I asked where he heard that word and he said a YouTube video with Spider-Man pushing his bum around and saying it was his bussy. Poo shot everywhere as he shook his butt since he can't control his own bowels so I was left a mess to clean up.

I could not find the video but my grandpa is NINETY why is this world so cold 🥲 I mean I laughed out of shock tho. I'm watching his videos now and they're not like that help me.

I was working for an agency that managed Rolling Stones and me and another agent buddy were driving them around in and old VW Golf, with three people in front and four in the back. When we got out my agent friend got news he was sacked and I was worried why. I said “don't know, it was Agency” and he misheard and said “yea I know it was my Intelligence”. I was a special agent of sorts and we were tasked with a mission to nuke Iran. we were tossing coins to determine who is gonna press the trigger and be the one to nuke Iran. My friend pulled his lucky coin from his mother (this friend I haven't seen for 25 years) and said who gets tails nukes. I tossed heads, he tossed tails. There were also two more people to toss, but I already started dancing and chanting “I'm not killing babies, I'm not killing babies”

But Crash is not mad. It is, in fact, a terrifyingly sane book. Much like Sade's best work, one senses throughout that Ballard is not crazy. Instead, he is offering a scientific examination of pathology. Sade's works are littered with precise enumerations, lengthy descriptions of beautifully set tables and expensive furniture, the configurations into which bodies may be manipulated for maximization of pleasure—he was, after all, a man of the Enlightenment. Ballard was a man of the atomic age. He experienced World War II up close from the perspective of its victims, and he knew that no sane method could make sense of these events, which ended with the release of a weapon that liquidated hundreds of thousands but likely saved millions. He understood that we can only grasp the chaos of the human psyche by learning to speak its language and to read the signs it has left in the wreckage.

Can I just say how r-slurred this whole "Public Use mode" thing is. I want to BLOCK a hole. IDGAF what kind of mode they use. I don't want to see the content from it. But that's certainly not my main gripe, Why the frick is it considered public use mode if I can't even comment in the hole without joining the house? Maybe I'm just too chuddy to recognize the whole "Gay porn funny bro, its ironic" as a meme, so I'm assuming this is just an oversight.. It's not public use if the public cannot use the hole like any other public friggin hole.

"wave-gay-porn-in-chuddy's-face" USE rather.

src