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Just to get it out of the way, he probably was trying to tap that. This was recommended to a lot of people's feed so there are accusations of "not a real lawyer" flying around that I'm not going to bother posting.

OP:

We have a new undergrad intern (a young woman, perhaps 19 years old), and I thought I'd take her to lunch to welcome her and answer questions about the work. Simple, right? Apparently, taking a female intern out to lunch is now a high-risk situation requiring oversight.

When we got back, it was suggested in the future that I invited other attorneys and avoided going to lunch one-on-one with female interns.

Lesson learned, and in hindsight I get where the firm is coming from. I still think it's a bit of an overreaction, though. I've gotten mixed responses when I've told people this. I'm curious what the subreddit thinks

His darning follow up post where he admits to having something in common with her and actually talked to her.

[–]TurnDownTheRadioJerk[S] -47 points 3 days ago

So here's more: I'm a 24 year old first year and the school she's going to is the same school I went to for undergrad, and she even has some of the same professors I had. We got talking and I asked her to lunch. No, I don't assign her work, but we seem to get along. Yes, there are other interns, but I haven't really had to talk to them yet

Responses to the follow up:

That sounds a little better than I initially imagined, given your ages are pretty close and the power dynamics aren't super crazy off (I'm assuming you don't have much influence at your firm). But your follow-up also makes it sound more like you are in fact trying to hit on her (or at least become her friend), and your firm gave you good advice. You shouldn't be doing anything that looks like you might be looking for a romantic relationship with anyone subordinate to you

Yea OP is totally hitting on her he wouldnt have done this for a dude I'm guessing.

That is pure speculation on your part, is really hard to imagine forming connections and mentorship in a professional field without ulterior motives. It seems reasonable to plausible to me I have gone to lunch with both male and female colleagues.

Dude… that's a crush let's be real, and you were testing the waters.

There's nothing mentor-ly about this. You were trying to get to know her in a personal capacity 😭

Why did this get so downkongd?

Because the world of genuine courteous courtship has gone entirely to the wayside and in its stead is this hyper-sensitive environment. All of this whilst people complain that they can't meet others organically anymore.

He's a young man and shes a young woman. If he is courteous and respectful in his proceeding with her and he doesn't have power over her directly or otherwise in the firm, I don't see the issue. Statistically, the workplace used to be a great place to meet your spouse.

Young man and a younger** woman. She's a teenager AND an intern. He is an adult who can drink and her mentor at a law firm trying to isolate her. He can treat all the interns or a few more so they arent alone.

There is nothing improper, legally or ethically, about a 24 year old and a 19 year old dating

Got ourselves a over here.

Other Responses:

More context is needed. Are there more interns than just her? Are you working closely with her? If you were her direct supervisor or somebody formally assigning her work, and she was the only intern, I don't think it would necessarily be weird. If you were some random associate who just showed up and was like, "Yo, wanna grab lunch", and didn't invite any of the male interns in the same room, I could see how that might not have the best appearance

I think he left them out on purpose. He didn't want to look like a creep

Two comments in we have him being called a creep. Doesn't appear to be a lawyer and posts in a really odd mix of subreddits including /r/aupairs.

Barely a crumb of context which might be explanatory in itself.

Is this the only intern you've ever taken out? If so, why this sudden exception?

Is she the only intern? If not, why exactly did you choose her and her alone?

Do you work more closely with her than anyone else? Most attorneys work more closely with paralegals, so why her and not them?

[–]PoundTown68 -35 points 3 days ago

That's a lot of useless questions. In a sane world, two consenting adults can go to lunch without concern. Two consenting adults should be able to do whatever they want together if we're being honest. This is exactly why feminists should be ignored. We've allowed them to create a culture of fear, where everyone is tiptoes around unnecessary regulation that benefit nobody….except for 40 year old feminists, jealous that they're no longer sexually attractive, who want to force everyone else to be unhappy with them. Misery loves company.

Darn, found the incel

$100 this guy sexually harasses people on the daily

Yeah, I mean, look alive brother. Avoiding the appearance of a questionable situation is very easy if you have situational awareness.

Was it actually questionable? That's not the right question and doesn't matter (unless it got weird). Protect yourself and the firm. Heck, the vast majority of lunches I went to as an intern or otherwise young firm employee were with multiple people, now that I think about it.

This is crazy. Taking someone out to a business lunch in a public place is not out of bounds or even close.

Why was this intern chosen for a solo business lunch with an older male attorney? I'm not saying OP had any untoward intentions, but let's not pretend the optics don't raise valid concerns.

Also, though, based on the follow up, op definitely does have untoward intentions

The optics of it are not great. Put yourself in the shoes of a supervising partner. Perhaps his 28 years old associate has no bad intention when he asks the 19 year old intern to lunch. Perhaps the 28 year old intern has romantic intentions. Partner has no idea. Does the 19 year old intern know your intentions. Did you take any male interns to lunch. If there is no romantic intention perhaps bring along another associate (perhaps female) and more than one intern or staffer.

Yeah he has to think what the firm partners would think if this 30 year old associate took the 19 year old to lunch. It's a bad look when a 34 year old associate is doing that with an 18 year old intern. The 17 year old intern doesn't know she can decline the lunch invite from the 38 year old.

When I was a 19 year old college student, I invited a visiting professor to lunch to discuss their career. I thought thats what we were supposed to do "networking" and all, build a rapport. The lunch was 100% professional the entire time. No drinking. I paid for myself. All day time hours in public. Afterwards i was invited into the deans office and told that my behavior was inappropriate and unprofessional and that I needed to learn my place and not be so forward. When I was ultimately asked to leave the school (we aren't expelling you, we want to encourage you to go to a place better fitted for you) they cited my inappropriate relationships with visiting professors as one of the reasons.

It was humiliating.

15 years later that school got sued into the ground for 30 decades of sexual abuse against minors.

(am woman)

Talk about getting absolutely on.

I think they are trying to help you out.

I went to not-lunch with a support staff ... we were both new to the org, and she accused me of being a predator. And then coworkers hacked my email and spread it around the community. It was too late by the time we established that she was lying, for my email inbox was everywhere and the firm decided I had to leave before I could figure it out.

You need to be extraordinarily careful.

I found one of the few dissenting voices that wasn't downkongd into oblivion.

I strongly disagree with this take. Be professional about it. Make sure it's a public place, but refusing to take women to lunch in a professional environment is Mike Pence culture crap that prevents women from having the same opportunities as men.

IMO, a work culture that discourages men from meeting 1 on 1 with women is a massive red flag and usually the #1 sign that the employer has fostered an anti-woman environment.

There is a difference between "men and women can't have lunch together" and "attorney shouldn't take young intern of the opposite s*x to lunch alone". The power imbalance inherent in the latter certainly has a higher chance of producing a bad situation, from either direction (attorney actually taking advantage, or intern falsely claiming they did).

Keeping that sort of thing as a small group activity avoids all the possible issues.

Muh power imbalance.

You're a lawyer and don't understand professional conduct or ethics?

OP about to be disbarred.

Why is no one talking about the 19 year old intern's perspective. That's what matters here. And that's what the others at the firm are focused on, not the intentions of the OP.

Possibly the most incorrect response in the whole thread.

its over

Who could expected that the

Would end up being a problem

https://old.reddit.com/r/europe/comments/1ifd20g/exclusive_us_wants_ukraine_to_hold_elections/

The country who has the weirdest obsession with their own constitution in the world wants Ukraine to break its constitution and hold elections under martial law.

Makes sense, yeah.

Yeah makes sense Redditors ignoring khohols constitution where it clearly stated that election exception is for parliament not presidential. Zelenskyy could had fixed it by calling main court and asking them if his stay is legal, very easy but he didn't do it because he knows they going to take the power for him.

Redditors think US gov (including Bidens admin) would for lol hint at it

Zelenskyy is the only true dictator in Europe.

Why is no one wondering if Trump committed election fraud? Doesn't that seem super logical?

Russia wants the US to tell Ukraine to hold elections. Putin doesn't like Zelenskyy

As if there is a chance to get anyone else. Heck even if that happens, he's gonna be even worse for ruzzia. Pro-ruzzian political flank in Ukraine was annihilated.

Zaluzhnyy, Porochenko and now Budanov are more popular than Zelenskyy

And what's happen when you get more popular than Zelenskyy ?

Ukrainian MP Roman Kostenko says SBU has opened a criminal case into the leaked statement by the head of the military intelligence, Kyrylo Budanov, who allegedly said at parliamentary hearings that Ukraine must seek peace by this summer or it may face the loss of statehood later.… pic.twitter.com/MKnRZGLpQp

— Leonid Ragozin (@leonidragozin) January 30, 2025

2 cases was opened again Budanov

And one again his right hand. You remember how before kicking out Zaluzhnyy, Zelenskyy got rid of all his close circle

Well, Trump is currently violating our Constitution left and right. He's never cared about the rule of law. He's a conman and a criminal.

Zelenskyy ignoring constitution it's Trump fault

A (temporary) ceasefire and permanent peace are 2 different situations.

The Ukrainian constitution requires the latter for martial law to be rescinded

Martial law in Ukraine is very temporary and Zelenskyy always extends it every 3 months so he technically illegally extended it 3 times after he lost presidential power and wtf permanent leave suppose to mean if Ukraine is not at state of war ?

Therein lies the rub. When will it be "permanent"? That requires more willingness and effort from Russia than they've shown to date.

If it holds, sure, I could see Ukraine being ready for elections again, but that requires a peace that leads to normalization first.

And if the Ukrainian people think Zelensky is holding on too long, I'll trust they'll let him know, just as they did vs Yanukovych in 2014.

Normalization probably won't come, at least not under Putin who's shown absolutely no willingness to compromise. In case of a lasting ceasefire like Korea, Ukraine should hold elections even without normalization of ties with Russia.

Remember, the two Koreas still don't have diplomatic relations and South Korea has consistently ranked highly in the democracy index. >> Not having diplomatic relations with your neighbors or having parts of your territory occupied doesn't excuse you from holding elections. I understand the argument that holding elections during an active conflict is a bad idea, but if there's a lasting ceasefire, elections should be held even without cooperation from Russia because that's not going to come anyway.

Zelenskyy has now sub 50% popularity in Ukraine since his high of over 90%

The man was freely elected (and that angered Putin)

Putin can help get this about by signing a peace agreement.

Redditors legit believe people they don't like, like Trump and Putin ain't freely elected

Seriously why wouldn't Russian elect Putin if west did everything he was warning Russian about the west ? Giving Ukraine German tanks was supposed to make Russian love west ?

https://old.reddit.com/r/tanks/comments/181ujim/have_leopard_tanks_performed_poorly_in_ukraine/

Yeah, some people kinda expected them to perform as near-godly indestructible death machines, slaying waves and waves of Russian tanks.

>some Redditors but not me

The "current team" didn't start or provoke a war to get into this situation. That's all 100% on Putin.

"Unprovoked"

I love this Redditors oxymoron any conflict is provoked.

Khohols walking in Kiev screaming who don't jump is moscal, in 2013 telling they will kill all the Russian in Crimea now it's unprovoked.

Or recently Zelenskyy told he don't respect Russian so he don't respect 40% of his country. He also been telling how he is going to defeat Russia and basically won

Absolutely not provoked just as him being legal president

"Most democracies hold elections during times of war. I think that's very important. I think that's good for democracy. That's the beauty of a strong democracy, that you have more than one person who can potentially run."

Translated from Ukranian, but close to what he said.

Oh yeah when Zelenskyy was popular and wasn't afraid of Zaluzhnyy he didn't mind election

Nvidea going down and down

Biden also wanted them to hold elections.

>Washington raised the issue of elections with senior officials in Zelenskiy's office in 2023 and 2024 during the Biden administration, two former senior U.S. officials said. State Department and White House officials told their Ukrainian counterparts that elections were critical to uphold international and democratic norms, the officials said. Officials in Kyiv have pushed back on elections in conversations with Washington in recent months, telling Biden officials that hosting polls at such a volatile moment in Ukraine's history would divide Ukrainian leaders and potentially invite Russian influence campaigns, the two former U.S. officials said.

Bipartisan stupidity, hooray!

When even democrats don't agree with you everyone is stupid except you Redditor

Not war, but the martial law. Technically it can be cancelled at any time to hold elections, regardless of ongoing conflicts.

It's actually brutal how many people don't understand war is an legal status

The fact that Europe doesn't have the balls to interviene and use it's military to change the odds and the game is a shame towards european spirit (whatever the frick that means these days) and a disgrace towards our european ukrainian brothers. It is a true spit in Europe's eyes and apparently we don't have a problem with that, nor any responsability. Disgraceful and spineless for europe!

Why he doesn't hold bakhmut if he feels so bad khohols ? It's like homo tries to shame other European while his butt is save when khohols getting into another pocket

Getting a wipe in Novosilka seems it wasn't enough but that Redditor could had stopped it !

Actions like this by Russia's puppet make me reconsider if the 2024 election was manipulated.

Why does a Russian stooge think sure a new election would overthrow Ukraine's democratic leader?

Thing is Putin was honest about him wanting Harris to win because Trump makes thing complicated, guy for real want peace deal, the only guy in this trio that wants peace. Putin position was looking good and saying he want peace while beating khohols while Zelenskyy screaming for new game changer.

With Harris it would been easy since she would scream about good faith peace and that Putin is not honest so khohols should continue fighting

USA will help us to the end the war, but with nuance - they will throw us under the bus and call it a "victory". (and this is not even sarcasm)

The US has never delayed an election not even during the civil war.

Battlefield wise most updates are field movements and some not popular villages capturing

Ukraine fully evacuating myrnohrad and its strange they do it after Pokrovsk since Pokrovsk is less encircled that myrnohrad

Fall of chasiv yard probably will be soon. It's just hard to pinpoint chasiv yard borders.

Bridgehead in Kharkiv now is solid and Ukraine will lose huge chunk in Kharkiv like I previously posted

Bridgehead in lyman direction got also larger something Ukrainians weren't prepared since zarichne was the stoping point and it isn't protected from north attacks

No way pic.twitter.com/uSPp53yT7G

— Second City Bureaucrat (@CityBureaucrat) February 7, 2025

!animalposters !cats

I never want to hear any of you BIPOCs call chuds stupid again. Dr Oaken has decreed otherwise.

Darn Elon making the world unsafe for assassination of government officials

BONUS EGG CRACKING LORE!

Most Based Comments

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Immediate family? No. The only other sibling is his sister and she's 20-ish. She does baby sit in fairness to her. Widening net to cousins etc none stepped forward. They definitely are there on my wife's side at least. Not sure about his side. (1595)

What about the parents? (96)

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔥🔘🔘

I did that with another story the other day and I got the same thing 💀 Dead internet is looking really real rn (1294)

Are we the orphans of the dead internet? Who will care for us? (561)

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔘🔘🔘

NAH. It's a devastatingly sad situation but your wife is doing what's best for her and you're doing what's best for the children. I can't get my head round your wife saying no either BUT she's not an AH for it. Some people really don't want kids and that's their right. Unfortunately, you may have to choose between them. (323)

I'd have to chose my wife. I wouldnt consider her an AH either but I'm just very surprised and still disappointed.Edit: I don't see how I'm being downkongd. She's my wife. Weve been together since we were kids. I wouldnt be happy with it but the kids are not the only ones grieving. I made vows to my wife.  (-82)

Angriest Comments

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

This is the correct response. You have not been an butthole. it's a tragic situation that said, she is not wrong either.This will most likely end your marriage and it's a tough spot you have to choose. She made it clear upfront her view of her life. You agreed to that view. Your view changed hers didn't. So you either go back to the lines you both drew together or get ready to start drawing lines without her. She's not wrong or a bad person for this. If you choose her you have to do it under the pretense you can never resent her for this. Can you do that? If you chose the kids and your marriage ends, would you ever resent the kids? There is not an option here that is not going to leave you with massive "what if" questions. Only you can decide what's most important. You are not the butthole unless you resent your decision and others suffer for it. She's not the butthole cause she is just keeping her word about what her life view is. There's nothing wrong with that.Edit due to the 100+ r... (795)

While he's definitely not the butthole, she definitely is wrong. These children are her family, of course she has an obligation to take them in when this tragedy occurs. Modern society is all about "muh rights" but we've forgotten all about our duties and responsibilities.You have a duty to your family. Even if you aren't religious and view them as disposable, you should want to take them in simply for harm reduction. The harm and negative outcomes for older children going into foster care/state placement are demonstrable and horrible. They'll be (likely) split up. They'll be (likely) abused. They'll be far more likely to fall into addictions, crime, they'll have lower lifetime earnings, less stable homes of their own (if they even have families), etc. Every single metric is worse.It'd be one thing if they did not have the means to care for the children (although it'd have to be an extremely bad financial circumstance to make keeping them worse than abandoning them to whatever the st... (1)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

Just because she doesn't want to do want you and op wants her to, doesn't make her a bad person. A bad person, is trying to force your beliefs onto others then, slandering them when they refuses. (1)

Um letting your dead sister's children fall into neglect and abuse in the foster system because you're too selfish to step up does make you a bad person. That's what being a bad person is. It's literally being so selfish that you make orphans homeless. This behavior and thought process should be shamed and ridiculed. It's the reason society sucks now, everyone only gives a shit about their own convenience and not about being a decent person. You will never convince me that being so far up your own butt that you refuse to care for those that have no one except you is a good thing. (-1)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

ohhh i ws about to type sorry she would leave you if something happened to you as she lacks empathy and saw he said has standing her and Shes a good women. Mans got np clue hes married to someone with a personality disorder. Oh well i guess unless they end up im the system they are better of or maybe still would be cos that shits pathological and one day has going o look back and hate himself. took a twist tbh i was waiting to read he didn't want them. Its a shame people refuse to believe there are woman monsters too. Don't even feel bad for him those aren't red flags they are giant speakers screaming narcissistic personality disorder. if you red this mate, she might change her mind cos she will know she's crossed a big line but if she does yu need to educate yourself on Narcistic child abuse cos that that will happen and you'll need to educate yourself on you to not become complicit either by ignoring it or joining in, you have no idea what you live with in all Honesty nukes you c... (1)

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wo

Like for real nafo presence died by a lot after USAID stoped Jfl

!coons

Wait... wasn't the bombing of Dresden a borderline war crime because it almost exclusively targeted civilians? pic.twitter.com/bQFeCswAD3

— Reddit Lies (@reddit_lies) February 6, 2025

!Nonchuds Mask off moment

"but muh civilians" Nazis deserved all that they got just like Japs deserved to get nuked

Most Based Comments

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔘🔘🔘

Loving every minute of it. Just laughing at everyone losing their minds. Acting as if Kamala would not have done anything different than Biden did. Sometimes you need chaos. Sometimes its a good thing. (-69)

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔘🔘🔘

Voter turnout for this election was 58%, which is about on par with every presidential election. Around 40% of the country never cares about voting.I know several people who are in this 40%, and asked them why, and it basically always comes down to the fact that they think their vote doesn't matter. (19461)

My husband has never registered to vote. His answer is "All politicians suck. It doesn't matter who's in charge." (390)

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Still fine with it.Happy we are finally addressing all the illegal immigration and DEI stuff.As far as the trade wars meh, I wasn't impacted last time and most of it is bluster considering he's meeting with Traduea today while they go into effect tomorrow. Honestly makes it easy for swing trading.  (-51)

Angriest Comments

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

While I did vote this time around, I didn't vote in 2020. Of course this all feels bad. But... it's always bad. No, this isn't saying, "the dems are equal as bad as the republicans." This is me saying that US republicans are such a fricking low bar that being "better" than them could still mean you are absolutely abysmal. Let's call this what it is: Trump is the imperial boomerang flying back home. And while it's going to make things worse for everyone, it has always disheartened me -- and often infuriated me -- how many people in the US won't care about the terrible things a US president is doing unless it's happening to them personally. Many so-called "progressives" will absolutely be progressive about certain things, but in many other ways they are the same old imperial conservatives that republicans are. Ruth Bader Ginsberg, heralded as being "so progressive," used the doctrine of discovery to deny the Oneida claims to their ancestral lands. Detention, abuse during detention, an... (1)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

Since I have been allowed to vote I have watch the DNC overflow with obvious corruption. My first election I supported Bernie, and then I watch as the DNC used "super delegates" to completely screw Bernie and rig the primary so obviously. It was blatant corruption to promote one of the another very evil elitist, Hillary who was friends Epstein and she's the queen of Wall Street. I hate Wall Street. The priorities of Wall Street have always been at odds with what is good for the American people. No one ever brings this up anymore. It's like ancient history now, but Bernie won a large majority of the delegates that are assigned by popular vote, but got screwed by the "superdelegates" who can make sure what happens is "good for the party". Right there my very first time voting I watched as the party of "good guys" said "we don't actually give a frick what you want." Then the next election was Joe Biden. Are you fricking kidding me. The same bullshit about lesser of two evils and all this... (1)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

Honestly, man.I voted for Gary Johnson back in 2016. In 2020, I would've voted for Tulsi Gabbard, but she didn't make the cut for the Dems. I instead voted for Jo Jorgensen.This cycle, I just didn't vote. No one on any side had any good policies and were panning on sensationalism.I don't feel indifferent, I just feel disappointed that this is the best we could come up with. You either get incompetent democrats or you get corporate owned Republicans.At no point do I enjoy what I see. We have a spending problem. We have a housing crisis. Government keeps declining the quality of education and healthcare. We have a border and national security issue. Our government is way too big, and way too powerful. If they can't tax you, they'll hit you with fees, and if you don't pay the fees, they'll fine you. You can't own or build anything without permits, which is just paid permission. Corporations aren't taxed; they're using loop holes. The ultra wealthy stashes their money in untouchable tru... (3)

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What does it mean when the Chair of the Federal Election Commission admits to stirring up some “good trouble?” pic.twitter.com/dWPFPuJNHh

— Bluesky Libs (@BlueskyLibs) February 7, 2025

I frequently mention in front of my straight white male husband that straight white men need a tall collective glass of shut the frick up and listen.

He agrees and mostly does. I meet him in the middle and only watch about a half hour of news/commentary a day. Let's face it, whatever comes about with Sweet Potato Hitlers plans, he will be impacted the least of the two of us. He is with me when I'm crying for the fear and pain of this time and I'm with him as he finds how horribly deep the rabbit hole goes. He knows he'll never be able to fully be in my position or the position of the Navajo who are being detained.

But he listens.

https://old.reddit.com/r/WorkersStrikeBack/comments/1iik2vu/i_just_saw_an_entire_family_taken_by_ice/mb7q1q7/?context=8

they are literally the beyond parody borders are immoral people who want to drive down their own wages "uniting" with 6 billion 3rd worlders