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@Sphereserf3232
@Sphereserf3235
@Sphereserf3233
@Spheresf3233 asked me to post commie infighting and I remembered that this drama is pretty funny, and I think doesn't require any knowledge of theory or anything
the Twitter account @SxarletRed https://x.com/SxarletRed has been annoying a lot of people lately with her r-slurred views
see: this tweet
I wrote about moralism, socialism, and how we can move beyond the liberalism infecting the left.
— barbarism critic 🙂↔️🇵🇸✨ (@SxarletRed) January 13, 2025
Link in next tweet pic.twitter.com/axI4AimfQD
basically she is saying that you shouldn't judge people for using doordash or whatever, which sounds fine on the surface, especially when you're talking about the wider population, but it's r-slurred if you call yourself a communist and defend getting your groceries delivered everyday
this has been kind of big topic in general that drives me crazy bc someone (r-slurred) will complain about how their grocery delivery was wrong, someone else will say um idk go to the store yourself?? and then people like SxarletRed here will jump out of the woodwork to defend them and say what about people with disabilities!!! what about the elderly!!!!! stop alienating people!!!!!! even tho it obviously doesnt apply to the fat lazy loser complaining about their doordash driver
Anyway. I guess she's been annoying people with these views for a while and has a hate fan club neow hence these posts
I wish no harm to american ruling class, my enemy is the american people pic.twitter.com/Sd5M1NkXYK
— Suki’s Mom 🔻 gazafunds.com (@zukosmadre) January 13, 2025
I work in a warehouse in Eastern Europe for $500 a month https://t.co/G7nqiGiqJH
— Miroslav 🇨🇳⬛⬜ (@slavomir_YU) January 11, 2025
there was some pearl clutching that some commies were celebrating the fires in LA and got darn lmao these are the people calling you joyless
HECKIN BASED
beyond parody
obviously it's nice to travel and I do it to, but her response here is specifically directed at people suffering from over-tourism asking people not to vacation there. there are a lot of places around the world that are trying to increase tourism that you can go to instead and saying no ethical consumption under capitalism!! is such a lazy defense
I think it's one thing to be talking to normies and yeah don't yell at them for going to hawaii or whatever but idk mb self professed communists should hold themselves to a higher standard??? and there's some things you can't avoid like it's hard to buy all fair-trade and organic and it's a scam anyway etc but equating that with ordering delivery everyday and things you absolutely can avoid is r-slurred
lol I forgot about this pic.twitter.com/FVFgp8liUD
— Suki’s Mom 🔻 gazafunds.com (@zukosmadre) January 13, 2025
as you can see nobody is saying don't go on vacation or that you have to be perfect, just that if you're going to spend all day tweeting that you're commie then maybe try not to exploit the poor
in conclusion
- whyareyou : wtf did i just watched
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It is time sports goomblers for the final game of the CFB season! Also the 5k MB pick em contest will be paid out tonight, you can find the standings here
I'll have some prop bets in the comments, but let me know if you have any ideas. Okay onto a preview of the game
Their paths to atlanta
Ohio State
The Buckeyes entered the playoff as the No. 8 seed — though ranked No. 6 in the final CFP top 25 — after missing out on an opportunity for the Big Ten championship and a bye following a shocking home loss to longtime rival Michigan. Spirits seemed gloomy in Columbus as the Wolverines took down Ohio State for the fourth consecutive season — on what was a particularly down year for "that team up north." Questions were swirling around head coach Ryan Day and what to make of potentially another disappointing season. However, Day quickly put the murmurs to bed, easily running by Tennessee in the first round and manhandling undefeated, No. 1 seed Oregon in the CFP quarterfinals.
The Buckeyes outscored their first two playoff opponents 83-38 before taking down Texas 28-14 in the Cotton Bowl. Their semifinal matchup was still a two-score win, but OSU was tested late, unlike in its previous two playoff games. The Longhorns had possession inside the Buckeye's 5-yard line late in the game, threatening to tie the game at 21 in the fourth. However, the stout Ohio State defense stepped up, knocking the Texas offense back outside the 5-yard line before OSU defensive end Jack Sawyer strip-sacked Quinn Ewers and ran the ball 83 yards to the house.
It was a play that Buckeye nation will not soon forget, and Ryan Day's once-questioned squad is rolling into Atlanta with about as much momentum as a team can hold.
Notre Dame
The Irish entered the playoff seeded No. 7, incapable of receiving a bye as an independent. This is a team that was counted out early in the season, and at the time, it was fair. Notre Dame lost to the MAC's Northern Illinois in Week 2. It was a low point in South Bend, and heavy pressure was immediately dropped on Marcus Freeman's squad. One more loss in its remaining 10 games would have likely knocked the Irish out of the 12-team playoff.
Four months later, Notre Dame holds the nation's longest winning streak (13) and is heading to its first title game since 2012. The Irish took a similar, while not as dominant, path as the Buckeyes, defeating Indiana and Georgia relatively easily before their defense stepped up late against Penn State in the semifinals. Riley Leonard and Notre Dame will look to add its another ring to its historic football program on Monday.
Series history
Ohio State leads the all-time series 6-2, winning the previous six matchups since 1995. Notre Dame's only two wins came in 1935 and 1936. The two powerhouse programs most recently faced off in 2023, delivering one of the best finishes of the season.
No. 9 Notre Dame led No. 6 Ohio State 14-10 with 1:25 remaining when the Buckeyes took over on their own 35-yard line with one timeout. The next 12 plays consisted of a 3rd and 10, 4th and 7 and 3rd and 19 conversion down to the Notre Dame 1-yard line. With no timeouts, a 3rd and goal from the 1 and 3 seconds on the clock, OSU running back Chip Trayanum punched it in for the 17-14 win.
It was arguably the best finish of the season that came in late September and one that is likely in the back of many Ohio State and Notre Dame fans' minds as we near Monday night.
Defense wins championships
The old Bear Bryant adage reigns true in 2025 as each team is anchored by two of the top defensive units in the nation. The Buckeyes rank first in the FBS in points per game allowed (12.2), yards per game (251.4) and yards per play (3.9). Day has built a sound defense on all levels, boasting an elite pass rush complemented by a smothering secondary.
Two stats exemplify the greatness of the OSU defense — opponent's red zone scoring percentage (61.11%) and sack percentage (11.06%). Both stats rank first nationally and have been fully displayed in the playoffs. The Buckeyes have 16 sacks in their three playoff games, and on the season, they are bringing down the QB over once per 10 pass attempts. Sacks are drive killers, and it will be a tall task for the Irish's banged-up offensive line to slow them down.
As for the Irish defense, they sit in second behind OSU in points allowed (14.3), seventh in yards allowed (298.7) and fifth in yards per play (4.4). Notre Dame's sack and red zone percentage don't quite stack up with the Buckeyes, but Freeman's squad has its own identity — forcing turnovers. The Irish have four thus far in the playoffs, two interceptions and two fumbles, and they are fifth in the FBS in takeaways per game on the season (2.1). All-American safety Xavier Watts has six interceptions (second in the FBS), so Will Howard must keep a close eye on the ball-hawk in the Notre Dame secondary.
Offensive X factors
Although the defenses are elite, the offenses are still flushed with talent, as expected from national championship contenders. Here are two offensive talents that could make a huge difference in the national championship:
Notre Dame
The Irish's offense is powered on the ground, averaging over 200 yards rushing per game. The combination of dual-threat Leonard and superstar running back Jeremiyah Love has poisoned teams all season. However, Love is dealing with a lingering knee injury. He is expected to play but with the added restraint of a knee brace, meaning Notre Dame may not be able to rely on him as much as Freeman would like.
In addition, this is one of the few, if not the first, matchups this season that the Irish might be out-matched on paper. It's easy to run the ball with a lead, but this reliance can hurt teams trying to come from behind — especially with your star running back not 100% healthy.
That being said, Leonard and the receivers will have to step up as they did against Penn State, and Notre Dame's leading receiver in the semifinals, Jaden Greathouse, has become Leonard's go-to target. Against the strong OSU pass rush, Greathouse should be heavily involved out of the slot position, as Leonard will need to get the ball out quick. Greathouse has fast feet and a large 6-foot-1, 215-pound frame. He could become a true game-changer as the Irish pursue their first title since 1988.
Ohio State
The obvious answer here is Jeremiah Smith. Through three playoff games, he has 14 catches for 293 yards and four touchdowns. But... 290 of those yards came before the semifinals. Smith's final stat line against Texas in the semis: one catch for three yards. Now, Texas entered the Cotton Bowl with a clear game plan — stop Jeremiah Smith. Steve Sarkisian double or triple bracketed the freshman most of the night. And to come to the Longhorns' defense, it almost worked until the red zone collapse at the end of the game.
While of course Freeman is not guaranteed to deploy the same efforts at stopping Smith, it certainly wouldn't be a bad idea, seeing how he gashed Tennessee and Oregon. Thankfully for OSU fans, the Buckeyes produce wide receiver talent at the same rate McDonald's makes cheeseburgers. Guys like Emeka Egbuka and Carnell Tate are high-level talents, and if Smith gets the Calvin Johnson treatment, one, if not both, of these receivers should be in line for a big day.
Egbuka has experience against Watts and the Irish secondary, tallying 96 yards in the school's last matchup in 2023, including the huge 3rd and 19 catch with seconds remaining to set up the game-winning touchdown. The projected first-round draft pick will be a guy to look out for in Atlanta.
College Football Playoff Championship - Monday January 20th 7:30 p.m. ET - Mercedes-Benz Stadium Atlanta, Georgia - ESPN
Ohio State Buckeyes - 125 bets - WINNER!
Notre Dame Fighting Irish - 38 bets
closed
!bets !goomble !goomblers !goombling !football !mensfootball
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https://old.reddit.com/r/minnesota/comments/1iht4so/mpr_news_trump_administration_launches/
https://old.reddit.com/r/Minneapolis/comments/1iht578/mpr_news_trump_administration_launches/
Also kill Connecticut.
https://old.reddit.com/r/StamfordCT/comments/1ihlrfj/stamford_board_of_reps_calls_special_meeting/
Chicago is also full of nazis and they should all be killed
https://old.reddit.com/r/chicago/comments/1ihx4c5/white_supremacist_remark_sparks_city_council/
The Australians are all Nazis and the abo-eaters must be gunned down and the land returned to the indigineous people
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Singer said some typical supportive stuff that included the phrase: "They will never take trans joy away". Joyless seething ensues.
Who the frick cares about "trans joy" or how it's really scary for you heccin vxlid guys right now. We have fricking nobody and nothing. No hate to chapppell personally, I just hate this stupid bullshit that this class of person is circulating. So out of their depth here. And maybe I'm just harping on the easy target because I can't do anything about the real problem, but it's still annoying.
It's designed and screened to satisfy her dipshit audience, which has no relevance to our community's well being as they are insta warriors
I love trans joy it's so fricking valid girlie
I'm so glad I get to be a
! everyone hates me just for existing, I get to lose out on my childhood, end up infertile and hate myself forever. what joy!
couldn't be me. i hate her. she knows she has a huge platform and the safety net of being cis so she just parrots useless optimism. no one is looking out for us, especially not the fricking pop music industry
i do appreciate her for doing the bare minimum. but ngl she gets under my skin anyways. the whole divine feminine schtick and "doing drag but as a cis woman" irks me
More in the comments. Can't imagine why the trains are short on allies.
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NMEC plans to comply with DOJ threats. This email was sent out Wednesday night to staff, but it noticeably doesn't mention anything specifically about LGBTQIA+ kids or DOJ, just general compliance with executive orders:
— Marisa Kabas (@marisakabas.bsky.social) 2025-02-07T05:35:40.961Z
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ETA 1-3 hours cuz occupied atm
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Not sure how many people follow the rationalist types but you probably have heard of or read stuff from Aella, a strangely neurodivergent self-described "whorelord" who loves using big data to do things like share her orgy planning performance.
— Aella (@Aella_Girl) January 29, 2025
https://old.reddit.com/r/bayarea/comments/1id8pd7/string_of_recent_killings_linked_to_bay_area/
I haven't gotten that much into it but looks like the homicidal members have a disturbingly common trait. Assigned male at birth, perhaps
Somehow Republicans and Christians are involved
Although this group is based in the bay area (Vallejo mostly, I think) they're associated with murders in PA, VT (including a border patrol officer recently) and faking their deaths to avoid court.
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🚨 #BREAKING: President Trump has ordered that all federal DEI employees be placed on leave no later than Wednesday at 5pm ET
— Nick Sortor (@nicksortor) January 22, 2025
Leftist heads are going to EXPLODE 🤣 pic.twitter.com/g6L6jG94Wo
🚨 LMAO! San Francisco leftists literally gathered to collectively SCREECH while President Trump was being inaugurated
— Nick Sortor (@nicksortor) January 20, 2025
These people are beyond pathetic 🤣
Reopen the asylums! pic.twitter.com/50qJA2RMmH
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not Haivng him as Ur lock Screen bcuz Ur ashamed of His Face ? That Just means U guys are a Private , Introverted , Discrete Couple . not Like all those other Gross weirdos Doing PDA on the Tram !! cant Stop stalking Ur hotter Exes On their Socials ? it's Because U Kno they Cant Compare 2 Ur Boyfriend's GROUNDED, DOWN TO EARTH , UNIQUE hotness <3
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Xkong
: h/chudrama
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Skeleton Crew has the lowest viewing numbers of all the Star Wars shows, despite being better than pretty much all other shows not named Andor. And then speaking of Andor, it's viewership was similarly poor when compared to The Mandalorian, Ahsoka, Kenobi, Boba Fett, and the rest of the "let's smash SW toys together" slop.
Thank goodness Andor was secured as 2 season out of the gate or we'd never get a Season 2. So that begs the question, why do you reject actually good Star Wars but the eat up the slop and complain about it after? Are you really only pleased with cheap nostalgia? Do you need a Skywalker shoved into every story? Must we be stuck in Empire v. Rebels for eternity?
You are enjoying it wrong, I bet this nerd uses the term Media Literacy.
Franchises like Star Wars or Marvel cannot forever rest on their laurels. There has to be an urgency to make the best content at every opportunity. The fall currently happening is not the result of just The Acolyte. Star Wars has been stumbling more often than not over the last few years and each stumble erodes the trust in the brand. You can't suddenly re-establish the trust in one move.
They have years of rebuilding ahead of them and hopefully the leadership is reassessing what works well and what doesn't.
I gave up on watching every Star Wars show long ago. And that premise for Skeleton Crew just didn't seem that interesting. Most of the recent Star Wars shows besides Andor have been mid at best so there just didn't seem to be any need to check this out.
You can really tell the Disney shill money has run out as this is upmarseyd
They ruined Star Wars!
You Star Wars fans are a contentious people
YOU JUST MADE AN ENEMY FOR LIFE!
I know its just reddit humor that gets repeated ad nauseum but its kind of nice seeing people make fun of OP.
They ruined Star Wars!
In the eighties and nineties I was probably in the top 10 percent of SW fans. Slowly fell back the curve with the second and third trilogy.
The Disney puked out so much content I can barely remember all the shows and movies names. Part of the story is in cartoons, part in games. I just can't keep up with SW and life with 24 hours per day.
The original feeling has been diluted, some content is better than other but certainly different from what was back then. So yes nostalgia is certainly a factor for me.
Every time there's scarcity of what I love, I wait with anticipation and once the moment arrives I try to enjoy every second of it. That's not the case anymore with SW, so I just wait and if I eventually start noticing a lot of positive comments about something, I got it. Happened with Andor and Rogue one.
It kinda feels like you are ignoring the absolute plethora of Star Wars content released after the Originals and how many duds and downright awful stuff was in there.
People love to put on rose colored glasses when looking back, but it's really not been any different except for the existence of social media.
In some ways it was easier to keep up and no one expected you to read everything.
The problem is advertising and marketing. Which is a problem that isn't going to be remedied by your rent here.
Yeah OP is just preaching to the choir here
Theres a large percentage of people in this sub that openly admit they haven't watched anything since season 1 of Mando.
So? You can still be a Star Wars fan and not watch every bit of content released, maybe they just really like the movies or the first trilogy, etc. It seems divisive to act like the Disney+ shows are required watching to call yourself a Star Wars fan.
Must consume slop
Oh also I'm responsible for the lack of marketing this show had for the casual public.
I'm truly sorry, sw is failing because of us, not the bad management of the franchise by Lucasfilm.
All we're asking is for you to eat multiple shit sandwiches and say how good the bread is.
asking? No, OP and Disney are DEMANDING.
How dare you turn your back on these shit sandwiches, you're not a true S(hit)W(ich) fan
Nobody hates a ShitWich as much as a true SW fan.
Yeah I am burned out on Star Wars media. I really don't care if this one is great or whatever, I am done with Disney's shitty handling of the IP.
Sorry guys, we are responsible for all of this
My thoughts exactly. I used to read all the books, comics, listen to the audio dramas…
Now I just don't care anymore.
After the awful string of BOBF-Kenobi-Mando season 3-acolyte (excluding bad batch, andor, and some of the tales series), I was ready to put down live action Star Wars for a bit. The word of mouth was so good from my irl friends, especially from my friends who've really soured in the franchise, that I was pleasantly surprised when the kid-centered suburban space goonies show was thoroughly entertaining. Disney did this to Lucasfilm through poor management, there's no reason Skelton crew should be as good as it is when they phoned in their cash cow of modern Star Wars of Mando season 3
Why is everyone saying this. Specifically this. What about Ahsoka? Are you leaving it out bc you liked it or bc it's forgettable.
As far as I'm concerned the only thing wrong so far was the Acolyte. If you removed Leslie, Amanda, and all them space witches. And Had Qimir as the villain with Plageus as his master that would have been amazing.
Andor A+ Bad Batch A+ BoBF B+ Kenobi B Mando S3 B- Ahsoka B- Acolyte D
I'd call that oversaturated. Regardless of the quality. If these covered 8 to 10 years we wouldn't be complaining as much. We have too much frame of reference
Lmao most of what you listed is a C at best, cmon dude
For a bunch of turbo nerds who talk about Star Wars on Reddit they are surprisingly sane.
What are they going to do, not watch the show? j/k
Seriously though, Disney has done a pretty terrible job of promoting things lately. Whatever the current Sar Wars/MCU show is, should always be front and center on Disney+. I already know about it and it's still annoying to have to tab through 4-5 pages of other shows before I can find it.
Even on the top of the page where it scrolls they always have skeleton crew as the 4th or 5th tab. The finale was the only time they had it up front.
Had to ruin that warm fuzzy feeling I was having with that j/k
Poor Star Wars is responsible for me not watching Skeleton Crew.
Frick outta here with this bullshittery.
Op is literally the consume product meme
Disney produced so much "slop" that people got tired of it and didn't bother to watch the newer stuff. The same thing happened with the MCU.
You say that, but the next time some slop with a flashy lightsaber or a recognizable character comes out people are going to go watch it.
I mean, Acolyte's viewership was also dismal (just not quite as bad).
The only way to save Star Wars is for Disney's projects to all flop long enough for them to put everything on pause and take a long, hard, self-evaluation. Even making mediocre shows, which would be an improvement, will not bring the disillusioned fans back.
Fair point at least with the final numbers it was very small. I'm not arguing against the idea that the TV show content has not been very good. It's certainly hard to motivate people to watch the good stuff and encourage Disney to keep making more of it when there is a lot of cheap and bad stuff, too. It does seem the fan base gets divided. I prefer more Andor-like stuff, but a fair amount of people don't want "adult Star Wars" or Star Wars without lightsabers. I would love it if the good shows got rewarded while the mediocre shows didn't, but outside of some shows most people seem very divided on reception.
Yes, at the cost of the long-term future of the franchise. Fewer and fewer people will see it each time some slop like this comes out, and eventually no matter how many original characters or fancy graphics or space battles will ever fix it.
Who did? It's a children's show made for children to watch without parents, so there isn't even any cheeky humor you'd expect of a family watch show.
Also Disney are barely putting any money into advertising it, since they have a bias against spending money on advertising original content.
Now that the word r-slur is coming back into vogue, I hope calling OP a comes back. Also I swear we had a marsey that was just a pile of brown sticks with the marsey face on it.
Like it or not, the majority of star wars fans like action and light saber battles. Disney's streaming model is flawed, it only counts viewership and not audience reception. It's not possible to make back their budgets when we are already paying a monthly fee to get everything. That isn't our fault, it's theirs. An obscure show set in the Star Wars universe is not going to pull the number of eyeballs a show about Obi-Wan Kenobi is, and it's dumb to expect it to. Some of this stuff needs to be allowed to be small and build a fanbase of dedicated fans, rather than everything needing to have an unsustainable amount of views.
As soon as streaming services figure out how to charge us for "premium" content it'll be game over for getting the entire library for one price.
If that was profitable they's have already done it
Exactly, I don't care how good something ends up being I'm not jumping through multiple paywalls to access it.
Maybe they can build places where we can gather and watch the premium content on a giant screen. They could sell us popcorn and soda and make even more money on concessions.
I don't think Orange Man could cure redditors of not being funny, but he does seem to be curing them of sucking off slop.
Poor quality Star Wars fims and oversaturation of low quality Star Wars shows is the reason for low viewership. Movies need to be great to pull the masses in and retain existing fanbase and the shows need to be consistently high quality with more time between them.
They need to pull back for a little while and come back strong.
SW fatigue is very real, we are at the stage where people like me who would normally tune in are overwhelmed with a sense of apathy. Right now, my interest is the lowest it's ever been
There is no coming back from the sequel trilogy. No matter what they do, Luke will still die a pathetic hermit who used too much of the force to create a hologram
The Last Jedi is good, and Luke's arc is good.
We're just going to keep pretending that a guy in a religion of peace using such immense power to project himself across space to kick someone's butt without actually resorting to violence is bad, I guess.
Or that, after learning all about this religion of peace, got disillusioned with it after learning how shitty and hypocritical the Jedi were is bad, I guess.
Religion of Peace? I don't remember him driving a truck through a Christmas Market.
People are starting to tap out. Can't blame anyone but Disney.
No it's your fault for not consuming the slop!
Disney is responsible for poor Star Wars. I can only imagine how much more money they'd be making if they actually handled it properly from the beginning.
I really don't get the logic. Shouldn't it be the studio's responsibility to get fans interested in the project?
Can't wait for the "get mad at the fans" meta to be retired.
Hey don't you want to watch book of boba Fett season 4 to see what happened to the glorf plotline in the acolyte season 2 featuring a character from the mandalorian season 4 who just entered in from Ashoka season 1??? Wait why are you running away I didn't explain how this really ties in to Reys childhood!
Disney fricked up when the Star Wars fans who regularly post to a star wars subreddit are making fun of them.
Really there isn't much drama, I just wanted to make fun of the OP for being the embodiment of
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A later statement confirmed: "There has been a shooting at the school. Four people have been shot. The extent of the injuries is unclear. The operation is still ongoing.
That number has since been raised to five - while police also denied local reports that officers had been shot.
The shooting took place in a campus area which includes several schools for both children and adults.
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BernieSanders
:
- giga_jannies : Pizza's mansion INSIDE [real]
- dingleface : Meta shit
- Kaczinsky : Who are these people? Nobody cares
- SixthDragonBall : ^ shut the frick up dramaphobe
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This is a raccoon not a user of this website.
Helpful [27] Not Helpful [1]- 5
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Belligerents:
/u/OkBuddyLiberals - a centrist/neurodivergent neoliberal who's got a custom Manchin flair.
/u/l00gie - a gay Asian progressoid who's basically an embodiment of the reason dRumph won.
slap fight #1 OkBuddyLiberal's longpost about how the Dems really should punch left if they want to win.
Slap fight #2 l00gie's gaslamp/gatekeep/gayboss way to lose the hearts and minds of the American public.
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Now he's forcing them back into the office AND to accept the brave and valid innoculations. Reminder that was a massive supporter of le covid vaccines
even praised him for getting the vaccines done
https://nypost.com/2021/12/21/biden-praises-trump-for-operation-warp-speed-getting-covid-booster/
also part of the $500billion AI "stargate" project is going to be for devoloping vaccines
https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-mrna-vaccine-cure-cancer-ai-2018701
and
in shambles
https://old.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/comments/1i83n25/trump_revokes_biden_executive_order_that_had/
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Happy continued Civilization IV week !g*mers We're playing the turboneurodivergent Dawn of Civilization mod that replicates world history. Following last game, we have just recently gone from the "Roman Kingdom" to the "Roman Empire" following the conquest of Greece. We control up to Byzantium (Constantinople).
The Persians (probably) razed Sfard so there's nothing left to conquer there. We need to settle one more city in Anatolia at some point. India (Gupta Empire) has a higher score than us but is behind us technologically. Persia (Achaemenid Empire) is very stable, prosperous, and more advanced than us.
Athens is a huge boon to us and a Great Person will be born there soon, either a Great Merchant or a Great Prophet. We need Currency for our first victory condition, so hopefully it's the Great Merchant. I decide to go ahead and research Law. If the GP turns out to be a Prophet we'll get Aesthetics which will put us a step closer to Architecture, one of the technologies we need to research first for the third victory condition.
Law allows us to enable Citizenship
The High Upkeep is going to suck when our empire gets big, but it will help a lot with getting buildings up for the "Bread and Circuses" victory condition. Hopefully the quick libraries will offset the cost of upkeep a little.
Since Carthage opened borders with us when we were in a mutual war with Greece, we're able to spy on them a little. They control the Levant including Jerusalem and their original capital of Surru (Tyre) when they were the Phoenicians.
Surru is lightly defended, but I have to attack fast because the Phoenician Unique Power allows them to quickly raise mercenaries. They have a Silk Road trade route and built the Great Cothon there instead of Carthage so it will be a strong prize along with the holy city of Judaism.
While snooping around the area we establish contact with the Nubians
The Roman Empire is stable as heck. We have strongly booming economy (+9). The way economy works in RfC and DoC is based on commerce GROWTH. Not treasury gain, not commerce alone, but the amount of commerce () gained per cycle whether it be from citizens in cities working tiles or through trade.
The coins and bigass money bags are units of commerce, also available through Trade Routes in the upper left (these show the cities we're trading with, right now Athens is trading with Carthagian cities). Athens is rich and we just built a Silver mine in Tarragona, so we're booming. The drawback is that if we can't sustain this growth we'll crash into a recession. Fortunately we also have very compatible civics for the Classical age (Domestic +8).
Most importantly, there is plenty of room to expand. Trade routes be darned, it's time for some Punic Wars
Surru falls. Even attacking over a river, our City Raider legion take out the defenders easily. The last troops are rushed mercenaries (the blue glow meaning they're so fresh they haven't even been promoted yet) and go down like a b-word.
Surru is great. The Silk Road trade route disappears once conquered and it's a little cramped next to Jerusalem, but The Great Cothon adds production to their coastal tiles and a Great Scientist is settled there.
Where Hannibal is successful is in harassing the shit out of our warships guarding the Iberia/Italy coast with a swarm of galleys. Motherlovers are like locusts
Our Great Person is born in Athens - it was 50/50 a Merchant or a Prophet and we got the Merchant (aka mercenary commander) Pubius Sittius. This will allow us to finish Currency quicker, allowing us to build Forums for our "Bread and Circuses" goal, with some additional spillover to Navigation. With Law and Currency we can now research Politics, one of the technologies required for the third victory condition. Persia, our chief technological rival, can't research this yet so we should be in good shape. If we can get a Great Prophet or Artist next we can blow through to Architecture.
Jerusalem falls next. We now have access to Judaism, our first official religion, giving us access to religious buildings. We could convert to Judaism now, but that would be silly. Jerusalem also has a Great General settled in the city, which is neat, but probably can't be utilized that well because it's not a strong production center.
Somehow I missed this but Carthage had also pulled the Nubians into war with us right after we invaded and they start to come for the Levant. Killing just a few of their dudes gets them back off with miniscule tribute.
Fine by me, I got more important shit to do.
Caption this:
The Roman Empire has successfully conquered the Levant and Hannibal has successfully annoyed me enough with his boats. Great Generals are born in both Rome and Carthage, Gaius Marius in Rome and Hasdrubal Barca, brother of Hannibal in Yglgl. Generals can either join individual armies for a bonus and unique upgrades or be settled in a city (like the one in Jerusalem) for a +XP boost to all troops built there.
We come to an agreement. The Carthagians are sufficiently buckbroken now and willing to offer tribute.
We'll turn our attention back to Carthage eventually, but with these buttholes off our back we can benefit from a peace treaty and safely get our fishing ships back up along the coast.
We are now Very Stable with continued conquests and economic growth. We've pissed off the rest of the world a little, but oh well. There's still room to expand, and we have a large army stationed in the Levant. Where to?
Oh, you. You want some free shit, do you? And you're upset because Hannibal was "your friend"?
Time to die
Egypt is stronger than I expected. We have a 1.5 military advantage (see the diplo overview) but her core is tighter () and her army is consolidated.
I see Persians at my border and I about shit, but they aren't invading. Darius, the fricking r-slur, is seriously about to resettle the city he burnt to the ground. I don't really want to frick with him. Maybe I could get super lucky and cause this city to flip, but more likely I'll have to settle my fourth Anatolian city in Crete. Unfortunately, these tight borders are probably going to cause some tensions.
With two more Forums built we accomplish the "Bread and Circuses" victory condition ahead of schedule
Now, we can focus on colonization and conquest.
A Great Prophet, Claudia Quinta is born in Athens, allowing us to speed up the research of Architecture, one of the necessary technologies for the third victory condition. This is lucky, as Persia has been able to research this tech for a good few turns
We could have also had her found the Temple of Solomon in Jeruslaem, and embraced a Jewish Roman Empire if we wanted to get weird with it. But I don't want that.
This was the toughest siege yet. Only one casualty (a City Raider III at 96% win odds ) but it took a looong time to wear down defenses and had to supply reinforcements and fend off Egyptian chariot raiders constantly running into the Levant.
Surru is suffering and not returning as much $$$ as we'd like due to the ongoing war. It might be worth considering a peace treaty.
As we have researched Politics, we now have the option to let her Capitulate, which she's willing to do after a few turns of War Weariness. She would become a vassal state called the Province of Aegyptus. As fun as it would be to keep Cleopatra as a pet slave, there's little point - with her capital's conquest and me occupying her core she's very unstable, and her land is more valuable directly controlled. However, it is worth it to take a new technology and some gold for tribute for a few turns of peace. The rest of Egypt will probably fracture soon.
And sure enough.
Taking Ra-Kadet is effortless, but annoyingly, the Nubians and Carthagians also had armies nearby. Carthage swoops in and takes independent Waset. I want that
I also notice that they now have Heavy Spearmen, meaning they've researched Steel. This is bad. They need to be dealt with ASAP. It's time for a Second Punic War
Carthage settled Alicante in Iberia right up next to Tarragona. It looks easy to take until Carthage starts rushing mercenary Heavy Spearmen. Promoting a Legion to Shock (+damage to infantry) allows them to take it, fulfilling the "Iberia" part of the Pax Romana victory condition.
Speaking of this goal, I need to get a settler up to colonize Britain soon. I concoct a plan to get my settler ready in Tarragona, slip a boat and warship through the Carthage controlled Strait of Gibralter while we're in conflict, and have the settlers take a Roman Road to meet and board in northwest Iberia. Did you know you can draw on the map in Civ4? It's so fun
Attempting to go straight for the jugular. Skirmishers harass my weakly defended ballistae weakening the city of Carthage (Qart-Hadasht) while I bring in reinforcements for the final push.
Good timing too cause these elephant neighbors start trampling my few soldiers guarding the ballistae
The reinforcements land and Carthage is finished The city falls and the empire collapses.
Now that the Mediterranean is mostly peaceful (save some barabarians and pirates) we can colonize Knossos, satisfying our fourth city in Anatolia, since the Persians settled Turkey.
I complete the Flavian Ampitheatre in Rome. Tbh these resources could have better been spent elsewhere but I felt like building it in Rome because it's cool. .
With Gaius Marius settled there too, soldiers built in Rome are hard as frick and cranked out every couple turns. These gigachad supersoldiers will make conquering Gaul a cakewalk.
We're running out of time, but a two pronged attack from Tarragona and the Gigachads of Rome should make this possible.
Another Great General is born from the Gallic conquests, Germanicus
With the conquest of Gaul and the colonization of London we control the territory necessary for our second victory condition, just in the nick of time.
With Pax Romana a motherflipping Golden Age begins
Orthodox Christianity was founded around 50AD (dunno where yet) and has already started to spread, so Pagan Temples are starting to disappear. The Pagan Religious Victory will probably be unattainable soon, which is fine. We should probably convert to Orthodoxy soon.
If we want to do the Historic Victory, we just need to research a couple more technologies before anyone else. I believe Persia is still our dominant tech rival but I'm sending spies out to confirm that.
We are incredibly stable. The Golden Age will be a super sweet time to take advantage of, but this ain't gonna last forever. Germanic barbarians are starting to attack. Orthodoxy spreading is going to start to upset some religious unity. The economic growth is not going to be sustained. Our income kinda sucks in general, but we're getting Jails up everywhere which will help with that by reducing maintenance. Eventually, the Eastern Roman Empire will split and eventually France, Spain, and England will start to become their own civilizations. At some point even the Northern Italian City States will want to flip. This will really suck.
Next time we will probably win Historic. I still want to go to space, but things are going to get tougher from here. New plan: next time we will win a Historic Victory and then reload and fail it so we can win a separate Space Victory
For now though, we will bask in victory for conquering (almost) Trajans borders.