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A year into their relationship, Jess and Nate got engaged next to the sea. "It was a golden, sandy beach β empty and secluded," says Jess, 26. "It was just us two there, so it was really intimate."
Except that the couple were actually hundreds of miles apart β and they were role-playing their engagement in the video game World of Warcraft.
Nate, 27, was living just outside London β and Jess was in Wales. After meeting briefly at an esports event in Germany in March 2023, the pair developed a long-distance relationship, playing the game together "from the moment we woke up to the moment we went to bed", says Nate.
The couple still play the game daily, even though they've been living together in Manchester since March 2024. And they know other couples who have found their partners through video games: "It's a different way of meeting someone," says Jess. "You both have such a strong mutual love for something already, it's easier to fall in love."
Nate agrees. "I was able to build a lot more of a connection with people I meet in gaming than I ever was able to in a dating app."
A selfie of Nate and Jess on the left, and on the right, a screenshot from World of Warcraft showing Nate proposing with the words, "Will you marry me?"
Nate and Jess (pictured, alongside their virtual engagement), found love online - but not on a dating app
Nate and Jess are not alone. According to some experts, people of their generation are moving away from dating apps and finding love on platforms that were not specifically designed for romance.
And hanging out somewhere online that's instead focused on a shared interest or hobby could allow people to find a partner in a lower-stakes, less pressurised setting than marketing themselves to a gallery of strangers. For some digital-native Gen Zs, it seems, simply doing the things they enjoy can be an alternative to the tyranny of the swipe.
Internet dating at 30 - a turning point?
Since it first appeared with the launch of match.com 30 years ago, online dating has fundamentally altered our relationships. Around 10% of heterosexual people and 24% of LGBT people have met their long-term partner online, according to Pew Research Center.
But evidence suggests that young people are switching off dating apps, with the UK's top 10 seeing a fall of nearly 16%, according to a report published by Ofcom in November 2024. Tinder lost 594,000 users, while Hinge dropped by 131,000, Bumble by 368,000 and Grindr by 11,000, the report said (a Grindr spokesperson said they were "not familiar with this study's source data" and that their UK users "continue to rise year over year").
According to a 2023 Axios study of US college students and other Gen Zers, 79% said they were forgoing regular dating app usage. And in its 2024 Online Nation report, Ofcom said: "Some analysts speculate that for younger people, particularly Gen Z, the novelty of dating apps is wearing off." In a January 2024 letter to shareholders, Match Group Inc - which owns Tinder and Hinge - acknowledged younger people were seeking "a lower pressure, more authentic way to find connections".
"The idea of using a shared interest to meet someone isn't new, but it's been reinvented in this particular moment in time β it signals a desire of Gen Z," says Carolina Bandinelli, an associate professor at Warwick University whose research focuses on the digital technologies of romance.
Getty Images Joggers running in a parkGetty Images
Many younger people are exploring alternatives to dating apps, from gaming to running clubs and other social activities
According to Danait Tesfay, 26, a marketing assistant from London, younger people are looking for alternatives to dating apps, "whether that be gaming or running clubs or extra-curricular clubs, where people are able to meet other like-minded people and eventually foster a romantic connection".
At the same time that membership of some dating apps appears to be in decline, platforms based around common interests are attracting more users. For instance, the fitness app Strava now has 135m users β and its monthly active users grew by 20% last year, according to the company. Other so-called "affinity-based" sites have seen similar growth: Letterboxd, where film fans can share reviews, says its community grew by 50% last year.
Rise of the hobby apps
And just as in the pre-internet age, when couples might have met at a sports club or the cinema, now singletons are able to find each other in their online equivalents.
"People have always bonded over shared interests, but it's been given a digital spin with these online communities," says Luke Brunning, co-director of the Centre for Love, S*x, and Relationships (CLSR) at the University of Leeds.
"It's increasingly difficult to distinguish between behaviour that's on a dating app and dating behaviour on another platform."
Hobby apps are taking on some features of social media, too: in 2023, Strava introduced a messaging feature letting users chat directly. One twenty-something from London explains that her friends use it as a way to flirt with people they fancy, initially by liking a running route they've posted on the platform. Strava says its data shows that one in five of its active Gen Z members has been on a date with someone they met through fitness clubs.
"[Online] fitness communities are becoming big places to find partners," says Nichi Hodgson, the author of The Curious History of Dating. She says a friend of hers met his partner that way, and they're now living together.
The same appears to apply to Letterboxd, too. With users including Chappell Roan and Charli XCX, it's a popular platform for younger people - two-thirds of members in a survey of 5,000 were under 34.
The company says it's aware of several couples meeting through the app, including one who bonded over a shared love of David Fincher's opinion-dividing 2020 drama Mank. "It could be that seeing other people's film tastes reveals an interesting aspect of themselves," says Letterboxd co-founder Matthew Buchanan.
Why the shift?
So what might be driving this? While dating apps initially appeared to offer "the illusion of choice", and a transparent, efficient way to meet partners, the reality for many has often proven to be different. The Pew Research Center found that 46% of dating-app users said their experiences were overall very or somewhat negative.
The recent decline in user numbers might also be a response to the way some apps are structured β in particular, the swipe feature for selecting potential partners, launched by Tinder in 2013 and widely copied.
Its creator, Jonathan Badeen, was partly inspired by studying the 1940s experiments of psychologist BF Skinner, who conditioned hungry pigeons to believe that food delivered randomly into a tray was prompted by their movements.
Getty Images A psychological experiment with pigeons conducted by BF SkinnerGetty Images
Tinder's swipe mechanism was partly inspired by Harvard Professor BF Skinner's psychological experiments with pigeons in order to understand the brain's reward system
Eventually, the swipe mechanism faced a backlash. "Ten years ago, people were enthusiastic and would talk quite openly about what apps they were on," says Ms Hodgson. "Now the Tinder model is dead with many young people β they don't want to swipe any more."
According to Mr Brunning, the gameifying interface of many dating apps is a turn-off. "Intimacy is made simple for you, it's made fun in the short term, but the more you play, the more you feel kind of icky."
The pandemic may have had an impact, too, says Prof Brian Heaphy at the University of Manchester, who has studied dating-app use in and after the lockdowns: "During Covid, dating apps themselves became more like social media β because people couldn't meet up, they were looking for different things."
Although that didn't last after the pandemic, it "gave people a sense that it could be different from just swiping and getting no responses β all the negatives of dating-app culture," says Prof Heaphy.
And in that context, the fact that video games or online communities like Strava or Letterboxd aren't designed for dating can be appealing. By attracting users for a broader range of reasons, there's less pressure on each interaction.
"Those apps aren't offering a commercialised form of romance, so they can seem more authentic," says Prof Heaphy.
The World of Warcraft characters of PurplePixel and Wochi
The humans behind Wochi and PurplePixel (pictured) met while playing World of Warcraft, though they say finding a partner wasn't their original intention
It's a type of connection free from the burden of expectation. A different couple who met on World of Warcraft β and go by the names Wochi and PurplePixel β weren't looking for love. "I definitely didn't go into an online game trying to find a partner," says Wochi.
But although initially in opposing teams, or guilds, their characters started a conversation. "We spent all night talking until the early hours of the morning, and by the end of the night, I'd actually left my guild and joined his guild," says PurplePixel. Within three years, Wochi had quit his job and moved to the UK from Italy to be with her.
According to Ms Hodgson, "While some dating apps can bring out the worst behaviours, these other online spaces can do the opposite, because people are sharing something they enjoy."
Because of these structural elements, she doesn't think the recent decline in numbers is temporary. "It's going to keep happening until dating apps figure out how to put the human aspect back."
New kinds of dating app
The dating apps aren't giving up without a fight, however. Hinge is still "setting up a date every two seconds", according to a spokesperson; Tinder says a relationship starts every three seconds on its platform and that almost 60% of its users are aged 18-30. In fact, the apps appear to be embracing the shift to shared-interest platforms, launching niche alternatives including ones based around fitness, veganism, dog-ownership or even facial hair.
They're also evolving to encourage different kinds of interaction. On Breeze, users who agree to be set up on a date aren't allowed to message each other before they meet; and Jigsaw hides people's faces, only removing pieces to reveal the full photo after a certain amount of interaction.
It means that it's premature to proclaim the death of the dating app, believes Prof Heaphy. "There's now such a diversity of dating apps that the numbers for the biggest ones aren't the key indicator," he says. "It might actually be a similar number to before, in terms of overall membership."
And there's a downside to people going to more general-interest apps looking for love β people might not want to be hit on when they just want to talk about books. Dating apps, at least, are clear about what their purpose is.
What might the future look like?
In an increasingly online world, the solution to improving relationships might not simply be to go offline. Instead, apps that can offer an experience which more closely mirrors the best of IRL interactions, while tapping into the possibilities of digital ones, might also show a way forward.
With the imminent integration of AI into dating apps, we are "right on the cusp of something new", says Mr Brunning. "It's interesting to see if we'll end up with specific apps just for dating, or will we end up with something a bit more fluid?"
He points to platforms in China that are more multi-purpose. "People use them for chat, for community, and conduct business on them β they can also be dating platforms, but they're often not exclusively for that."
In the meantime, the interactions possible in less mediated communities like World of Warcraft could offer more of a chance to connect than conversations initiated by a swipe.
Jess and Nate's in-game engagement on the beach might not have been real, but the couple are hoping to change that soon. "It's a matter of when, really. There are a few things we need to tick off the checklist, and then she'll be getting her ring," says Nate. And there'll still be a gaming element.
"You can role-play getting married," says Jess. "So it could be funny to get all our friends together at some point in the World of Warcraft cathedral, and we could have a marriage ceremony."
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British tabloid Daily Mail claims to have obtained a leaked peace plan, allegedly proposed by Trump to end the war in Ukraine. The source is allegedly a Ukrainian media outlet Strana:
— Sprinter Observer (@SprinterObserve) February 7, 2025
β‘οΈ A ceasefire will be achieved by Easter, April 20th.
β‘οΈ Ukraine will not be able to joinβ¦ pic.twitter.com/kr8DIaOhqE
ΕΠ΅ddΓtΠΎΕs must bΠ΅ nΠΎw uΔΌtΕΠ° mΠ°d sΓnΡΠ΅ 3 wΠ΅Π΅ks Π°gΠΎ thΠ΅Ρ ΡΔΌΠ°ΓmΠ΅d nΠΎ wΠ°Ρ Γts ΕΠ΅Π°ΔΌ
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- Aevann : I WILL murder you
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I was just going to leave the thread blank for two reasons:
1) Since the film is so in love with cutesy little meta-metacommentary it seemed appropriate because
2) I felt absolutely nothing for this movie,
however that's too subtle, so like Cabin in the Woods itself I will now belabor the point long past anyone's ability to care.
I honestly don't even know where to begin with this. It wasn't offensively bad or anything a la Black Swan, it isn't good-bad like Chopping Mall, it's not just plain old serviceable and therefore solid in its decency like The Omen, and it certainly isn't good. And it's like it was written to preemptively shield itself from criticism.
I could call it formulaic. The defense would be that of course it's formulaic, that's the point of the movie haha they even named the generic slasher archetypes at the end, the formulaicism is part of the joke.
I could call it uninspired. The defense would similarly be that of course it's uninspired, there's a Cube-style room of rooms with all the monsters from everything, it's all deliberately derivative and referential.
I could call it not scary. The defense would again similarly be that this is also intentional, look how it's also billed as a comedy. Nevermind that it's not funny either, because it's also billed as a horror.
The plain and simple of it is that it is formulaic, and this goes for the meta-meta narrative as well. Yes the silly organization's point is to enact the contrived ritual that plays out with horror movie tropes because it's supposed to, that's not whats formulaic about it. It can be argued that every beat up to the descent into the facility is formulaic by design, but once they're through that door that excuse falls flat.
The plain and simple of it is that it is uninspired. One of the technicians remarks early on that they're allowed to cheat to make things play out as needed as much as they want. Later we see that security personnel gunning down the sacrifices meets the requirementsβthere's no reason not to lead with that and just shoot the whore first. Or to bomb the cabin after shooting the whore. Or literally anything else. The overarching narrative cannot be flimsy because the arguably intentionally shitty internal narrative is wink-wink-shitty to allow room for that larger one. The overall story is just there as an excuse to make 8104 different references (HAHA THE WHITEBOARD TALKS ABOUT THE R*PE TREES FROM EVIL DESD LOL) and give 3 second cameos to creatures from other movies. The facility and organization itself is just a Cube Zero knockoff anyway.
The plain and simple of it is that it is neither scary nor funny. There are no stakes even with the apocalypse on the horizon and then actualizing to end the film. Everyone is boring and sucks. Literally Shaggy from scooby doo as the lead can't go any other way. The humor predates it by several years but it all smacks of that atrocious Rian Johnson Star Wars movie with the yo momma joke; it's quip "comedy" without the quips but the exact same degree of unwarranted and omnipresent self-satisfaction.
This is, however, a lot more negativity than Cabin in the Woods strictly deserves. I don't feel any sort of profound loathing for it or anything, it did nothing to elicit any particular emotion that strong. It's a completely unremarkable hour and a half.
For a movie with such an incredibly promising cover and inexplicably golden critic reviews from the beforetimes when critics evaluated things by metrics other than how much gay s*x a film has in it, the only thing I feel in any notable sense is confusion as to how either of these things happened. That and I want to watch Hellraiser because cenobites are great even if they are bootleg and have 30 seconds of screentime in an utterly mid movie.
β β βββ
!kino your thoughts?
cc @LainkeyKong as requested
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Consider me upset and disappointed (as if redditor's feel any other emotions
). And I was actually going to make a post about how I've been pleasantly surprised at the lack of mask pushback the past 6ish months at doctors appointments. Which is GREATLY appreciated as I've been dealing with a newer chronic health condition, on top of my grandma who's on oxygen needing her doctors appointments as well.
Long story short - I asked my doctor to sign a medical exemption form for me so I can wear a mask to this upcoming necessary appointment. I was once again pleasantly surprised, she didn't question me and I felt like she was finally taking me seriously.
I opened the envelope today and read what she wrote: "Severe Generalized Anxiety Disorder". Not my chronic migraines, or the fact that I'm a care giver. We never discussed this "severe" anxiety disorder and I thought she finally recognized that a) my precautions are not because of my anxiety and b) my increased anxiety was due to my undiagnosed chronic migraines that I developed from a hormone medication SHE put me on.
I'll fully admit that my anxiety got much worse before my migraines were properly addressed. It was an uphill battle where I was not being heard by my doctor - the "it's just anxiety, anxiety, anxiety" bit until I had hospital worthy chronic pain...
But my family and I have masked and taken Covid precautions since 2020. It's infuriating that wearing a mask is likely the reason why my doctors first answer to everything is anxiety. Like pardon me for being educated and trying to protect my family. I guess that makes me incredibly anxious. So be it.
(I'm sending hugs to everyone that can relateπ€ I appreciate every single person on hereπ·π«Ά)
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I took the payout in the hours before it closed and got my x amount of money and referral letter, but honestly I feel kind of horrible. Seeing how many people were left in the cold without even severance really breaks my heart.
Blah blah put this into chat gpt and then post to /r/fednews
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This is your one chance losers, dont mess it up!
Heres review of the movie shes talking about btw:
https://old.reddit.com/r/aznidentity/comments/1648nmn/past_lives_an_analysis_of_the_movie_spoilers/
- p : harassment campaign meant to make fun of an innocent boomer, please only post in good faith
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It doesn't sound like such a bad idea, being out in nature rather than being locked up in a psych ward. IDK why libsharts are freaking out so much over it? It literally sounds like some hippy green tree hugger stuff that they usually love.
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Fat b-words are s*x offenders I see them and Iβm sexually offended Making lingerie for fat b-words is like giving knives to little kids They gone hurt somebody If you find yourself in a fat b-word kitty just remember itβs because youβre broke
β ye (@kanyewest) February 7, 2025
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Once again I am leaving the Munich Security Conference in a low mood. Amongst all the noise, the US signalled their plans for Europe, so things are becoming clearer. But things are clearly not good.
— Gabrielius Landsbergisπ±πΉ (@GLandsbergis) February 15, 2025
This is what we now know, and what we now have to do about it:π§΅1/17
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Most Based Comments
Basedness: π₯π₯π₯ππ
I'm very interested to see if her supporters actually care. There's now a 2nd board member coming out voicing their concern with government meddling in contracts. This is a fully UCP appointed board. (21)
I can't even find out who fired the CEO. Wouldn't the board be the ones to fire the CEO. Lmao (2)
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I'm astonished support for Nenshi is that high, you'd think the dippers would have figured him out and obviously the rest of AB doesn't know who he is - he's divisive, when he left Calgary as mayor this city was in shambles, he had an approval rating in the 40s and dropping. In his first go he campaigned as a conservative, said all the right things but governed as a high taxing, high spending liberal. When he won his first mayor, from his mother's basement where he lived he said Calgarians weren't racists but when it looked like he was gonna get booted he said Calgarians were racists. He'll say anything to get elected but when in office look out. (6)
Angriest Comments
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But it won him Calgary elections he basically accused anyone who didn't vote for him of being racist, and somehow it worked. (2)
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But it won him Calgary elections he basically accused anyone who didn't vote for him of being racist, and somehow it worked. (2)
Not voting for a representative of the majority of this province is racist. (-1)
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Absolutely zero surprise. Smith has tapped into Alberta's 'renegade' mentality made popular by King Ralph which appeals to many. Nenshi should reassess his approach and adopt some of that feisty Albertan spirit. As we've seen, embracing Ottawa is a poor strategy for any Alberta political party. (39)
Also embracing victim culture is not interesting for many Albertans (26)
Biggest Lolcow: /u/Constant_Sky9173
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