Reported by:
!slots and !slotsmb are back

pls dont spam, if u plan too gamble repeatedly use the casino, its faster and better

the minimum limit for gambling is 100 coins/MB in comments and 5 coins/MB in the casino



removed "@jannies" pinging all jannies

@jannies discuss

trans lives matter


Reported by:
  • 1 : Hats.
  • peepeehands : hat
  • whyareyou : making chuds is dramaphobic because people wont expect chuddery if someones not chud awarded and tha
reduced chud award price from 2500 to 500 (death to rightoids)

:#!marseymini: :chudsey: :#marseymini:

Gigavaxxers vs Zombies: NEW RULES, NEW REWARDS

Team Vaxxmaxxed: Gets 3x dramacoin from votes on their posts/comments (responsible contributors to herd immunity get rewarded by the globohomo capitalist state).

Team Zombie: Gets free progressive stack on their posts and comments (fast zombies), AND gets a free bite award every 24hrs to spread the love.

You can now vax yourself. It takes one vax to go from infected to healthy. Any vaxxes after that make you VAXXED, which takes two bites to deplete back to healthy. You can stack up to five (5) vaxxes for a total of eleven bites until zombification.

ALSO, we are tracking bites and vaxxes. There winning team when Homoween ends will get a very special [redacted]. There will definitely be a fun stats post about who the biggest superspreaders and CDC lackies were.

:#marseyzombie: :#questionmark: :#!marseygigavaxxer:

Reported by:
(changelog) some changes to lawlzposts

hey all,

by popular demand, we made some changes to our code specifically to accommodate lawlzposts. we've made it so that when @MasterLawlz makes a post it gets

  1. automatically stickied for 24 hours

  2. automatically distinguished

  3. automatically flaired

in addition, lawlz pins can't be unpinned by jannies or unpin awards. they are affected by pin awards however, which will add an hour of time to the pin.

they also appear at the top above every other pinned post, regardless of when it was made

Reported by:
(changelog) you can now ping all of the admins at once

so if you want to ping us all at once you can use @jannies which will summon all of the admins to your post or comment which willl... do what you think it does

you have to have 500 truescore to use it though so there's that. this isn't a homoween thing btw... this is a permanent change. say thanks to @Aevann for making it

love you all btw and lmk if there's any issues :marseyvampirelove:

Reported by:


Everyone with an account as of RIGHT NOW has this rad Homoween 2022 hat. It is not for sale and will never be distributed again.

If you'd like to wear it, please visit and press the EQUIP button beside it. As a reminder, you can equip an unlimited number of hats, and it will randomly cycle between them.

p.s. can someone please use the Vax award on me? I don't want to be a gay zombie.

Reported by:
[changelog] made the site more useable (maybe)
  • flashlight award nerfed

  • haunted award patched

  • fun hating incels can now purchase the hallowgrinch award, which disables the music (will add a toggle soon so you can turn it on or off if u have the award)

  • jumpscare, zombie bite and vaccine now available in lootboxes and from trick or treat

  • added a handful of requested songs


(changelog) i fixed that stupid scroll bug

there's been this weird bug (maybe only on firefox i don't know for sure) where if you try to edit text sometimes it'll like partially scroll the page upwards. it was really really annoying and honestly the bug has probably been there for years

anyway i fixed it with like one line of js. it should be fixed now lmk if it isn't. i have no idea what it was but i'm gonna pretend to be smart and say it was some floating point bug that caused this and by adding the line i avoided it but in all reality i have no clue.

hopefully it makes you posting your longposts and longcomments easier

love you all :marseylove:

Add 91 Non-Marsey Emoji


:percent: :caret: :asterisk: :apostrophe: :quotation: :ialt: :0alt: :ccedilla:


:marseyflagcalifornia: :marseyflageu: :marseyflagpalau:


:thumbup: :thumbdown:


:sharkymegalodon: :sharkydinosaur:

:chadnoproblemkingcapy: :chadnoproblemqueencapy: :chadmusk:

:dinoyes: :dinono: :dinoconfused:

:realisticelephant: :sneedcat: :mussolini:

:bitchhaditcomin: :duckdance: :stoning: :stoningpills:

:srdinepoppy: :sneedbuddy:

:soren: :upsoren: :downdonger:


:parrot: :parrotaccessible: :parrotcongaparty: :parrotcop: :parrotevil: :parrotgithub: :parrothmm: :parrothypno: :parrotimposter: :parrotisrael: :parrotkazakhstan: :parrotmergetrain: :parrotmoonwalking: :parrotportalblue: :parrotportalorange: :parrotpumpkin: :parrotrevolution: :parrotrip: :parrotscience: :parrotshort: :parrotsleeping: :parrotslow: :parrottrans: :parrotultrafast: :parrotunitedstatesofamerica: :parrotwitnessprotection: :parrotzombie:


:chadbaby: :chadstalin: :chudette: :chudgrug: :chudnazi: :chudsmug: :soy4dchess: :soyjaktantrum:


:asianenbyjak: :asiangirl: :asiantwinkjak: :bobateagirl: :chadasian2: :chadindianheadset: :chinesenobleman: :chinesepolitician: :chinesesoldierjak: :greendesigirl: :imperialjapanesesoldier: :indiandoomergirl: :kimjojongjak: :kimonogirl: :maojak: :mongoljak: :scaryasianwife: :shorthairasiangirl: :singaporeansoldierjak: :suprisedasianwife: :tiawanesesoldierjak: :witheredricefarmer: :yakuzajak:

I didn't keep track of who made most of these, but thanks to all who contributed. I think this is most/all of the non-r-slurred ones from the backlog.

Reported by:
(changelog) raised country club limit to 5k

requirements for cc are higher. if you were in it before and aren't now, that isn't a bug if you aren't in it anymore. you can still reply to your previous threads i think though

democracy works i guess yay

anyway love you all :marseylove:

edit: just kidding we changed it again to 2k. democracy sucks

Reported by:
[Changelog] Admiggers can no longer print awards

@BeauBiden @getogeto @SlackerNews @Absinthe @Soren discuss

:x: :x:


tl;dr— Comments search works again. It is much, much faster. Also search keywords for comments now only search for the whole word.

This all began forty-eight hours ago. The WPD server was down, I'd already broken out the bourbon (as is customary when your server is down), and someone was trying to search for comments containing the word china. Comments search always was slow because we used to do an exhaustive search through the full text of all 2.2 million comments on the site. But, man, china was even slower than slow: it was grinding the site to a halt for minutes at a time. We don't normally log search queries, but china was so slow it was crashing the server, which showed up in the crash error message.

It was 2 AM, we were busy dealing with WPD, and I wasn't exactly sober enough to debug, so we disabled comments search until we had time to look at it. The next day, a dozen of you let us know comment search wasn't working. A dozen-minus-one of you didn't scroll in the bugs thread to notice that's what everyone else was reporting and we'd already explained why.

Anyway, it's re-enabled, and it's a lot faster. china takes half a second, not two minutes. This comes with some minor changes in functionality. First, word substring searches don't work on comments now—carp only finds the exact word carp (or Carp), not carpathianflorist or escarpment (this probably breaks nwordcountbot; sorry @geese_suck). Also, I have no idea what "exact search" syntax with "s does any more; probably just guarantees you get zero results. Report weird search results here and we'll iron it out soon. Just wanted to get comment search back online.

added 8 new marseys to the redbubble shop

lemme know if theres anything u want me to add or modify :marseycapyheart:

added hole mod logs :marseyjanny2:

clean it up jannies








































































































































































(changelog) Claim your Marsey Consoomer badges here

Did you buy and receive something from our Redbubble? Are you tired of pinging me for the badge? Post a picture of your haul here and I'll give it to you finally.

Note that Marsey Hypebeast badge


requires a photo of you in our clothes.

The Consoomer badge is for stickers, clocks, etc.

While I have your attention:

would there be any use in adding each and every badge to a pin in the shop

would absolutely anyone at all want this

irl badge collection


The fursecution ends now, everypony.

Reported by:
  • uwu : This is haram
  • oppie : Thanks i hate it
  • Sooko : Hello, based department? This man right here
  • THOMAS : Im on team russia shill guy now frick you carp
(changelog) removed marsify toggle

No one else wanted to make the post. Permanent marisification is annoying and gay so it’s gone now. If you liked it then I’m sorry about your bad taste.

There. Easy post. No one has to argue about who to blame. It was a bad toggle and now it’s gone. I did it. Me. Frick your marisification.

added this

in the bottom here






















made it so spider award doesnt give any notifications to its recipient :marseyjumpscare:

idea by @Mistofblackness

added spider award :marseyspider:

costs 2000 coins and summons a spider to terrorize the recipient for 24 hours

requested by @BernieSanders

(changelog) Announcing hatlocks to correspond with awards!

An important update to our various various awesome QoL-altering awards, available in the shop! :!marseymerchantelf:

In addition to doing their usual thing you see in the description, various annoyances you put on others (or yourself, if you want) will also lock an appropriate hat onto them for the duration of the award.

Try it out! It's definitely an interesting feature.


Awards affected are:

Rehab. Progressive Stack, Pizzashill, Bird Site, Marsey, Bite, Rainbow, OwOify, Early Life, Marsify, Ban, and Chud.

Reported by:
  • ManBearFridge : All users in the reports will receive a bite award
rDrama Shop Update - now in irl!

Hi there! We opened a Redbubble shop so you can buy Marsey swag to impress your friends and family with in real life!

Right now it's just a selection of existing Marseys (more to be added) which you can get in sticker form, on shirts, hats, bath mats, clocks, mugs, whatever sort of tchotchke you want. I am going to order a bunch of stickers after I upload more and probably make a scene out of them on my computer because that's what people do. They pay money for stickers of cartoon cats from gossip websites and decorate with them. Why aren't you doing that?

NOTE: Redbubble is r-slurred and if you're looking for something in a particular flavor (i.e. a pin or whatever), you can get that by clicking this idiotic tiny bar:

There is currently one bespoke design specifically made for extremely fashionable clothes:

but more will be added as time goes on.

If a Marsey you'd like included isn't yet there, just say so and me or Aevann will go add it right away.

Buying a piece of Marsey clothing and submitting a picture will earn you a never-before-obtained badge by casino king @McCoxmaul:

All transactions are through Redbubble. We have no means of finding your name, address, whatever. It is entirely anonymous.

Now go. Hurry! Consoom marsey merch!


Reported by:

Well done, everyone who earned this badge! (me)

Text is wonky, will fix later. Good job though fish!!!!!!

edit: fixed


I should make another badge for that lightning quick response time to a major issue.

Reported by:

requested by @KARABOGA

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