Sorry for the ugly pic, what's important is the recipe.

Through years of experimentation I have created the ultimate (according to my tastes) red borscht recipe. If you've never had it, it's a slightly sweet beet soup that you can customize in endless ways, but it typically has meat or beans and cabbage. It's a good meal for any season, extremely cheap, very healthy, and beets are good for your liver, so you should try it. It takes around 2-3 hours to cook but most of that's just letting it simmer and occasionally adding crap to the pot.

Ingredients

1. 1-2.5 lb cartilaginous red meat, ideally with bone (A big skin-on pork shank is my ideal cut, braised pork skin tastes great and thickens the broth. Can sub meat for dark kidney or cannellini beans) - precut stew meat works but you're paying more for someone else to do something that takes a couple extra mins of work

2. 3 medium or 4 small red beets (generally the smaller the sweeter, and ones with stalks still attached tend to taste better)

3. 4 medium cloves garlic

4. 1 large onion or 2 small

5. 1 gigantic carrot, 2 regular grocery store carrots, or 3 farmer's market/upscale grocery carrots

6. 1 can tomato paste

7. dash of white or white wine vinegar (be careful)

8. small fistful of flat leaf parsley

9. 2 medium bay leaves or one large

10. liberal amount of marjoram to taste

11. about a tsp of mexican oregano to taste (optional)

12. about a tsp of paprika to taste

13. half a white cabbage

14. chicken stock, 2 chicken stock cubes, or water

15. black pepper and salt to taste

16. white sugar or 2 prunes (optional)

Serve with:

• sturdy bread like a baguette

• dill

• sour cream, smetana, cream cheese, etc.

Directions

1. Cut the onion in half and dice one half; set the other half aside

2. Mince garlic

3. If you bought a whole cut of meat, you can process it into pieces ahead of time or simmer it first, then pull it out if you're lazy. That'll increase cook time though

4. Heat up your largest stock pot on the stovetop at about medium heat (I usually let the fat from the cut render but if yours doesn't have a lot of exposed fat then add some oil. Lard highly recommended if you're using beef). Add the meat and stir around for a few mins.

5. Add onions and sweat for a couple mins, then add bay leaves and garlic and sweat for a couple more mins. Make sure not to brown anything, the mallard reaction ruins the clean flavor

6. Add tomato paste, stir around for a couple mins, then add paprika and stir for a few secs until the paprika smell diminishes. The timing for these first few steps isn't important due to the aforementioned mallard reaction note.

7. Add stock/water with bullion/water and a dash of vinegar along with marjoram, parsley, and oregano.

8. Simmer for at least an hour, though it'll take longer if you're removing the meat and cutting it into pieces during the cooking process (it took the shank in this round about 1.5 hrs). You want the meat to be somewhat pliable but not super soft yet so that the pieces don't dissolve into pulled pork

9. Meanwhile, peel beets and cut each of them into halves. Divide the halves and cut half into small, thin pieces or throw into food processer and cut the other half into rough cubes or matchsticks (you could do one or the other but having both makes the texture more interesting)

10. Throw the beets into the pot

12. About 30 mins after the beets have been added, taste the broth. If your beets are really shit then you can add sugar or prunes here to sweeten it . Otherwise adjust your salt, spices, vinegar, etc. if you need to

13. Meanwhile, cut carrots into matchsticks or shreds or throw into food processor and cut the reserved half of the onion once through the middle, then crosswise into thin slivers

14. Toss the carrots and onion into the pot after the beets have been in there for 40-60 mins

15. Dice the cabbage half into squares or cut in small thin slivers.

16. Add cabbage to pot after carrots and onion have been in there for about 15 mins

17. Cook soup for 10 more mins, adjust to taste again if you need to

18. Serve with dill (can sub parsley), sour cream or w/e, and bread

Back again as promised to flex on @pizzashill and @Poj's disgusting animal tier eating habits and bring you, rdrama, my favorite dish in my arsenal: my take on Steak au Poivre. This dish is ridiculously simple and mostly revolves around sauce and a bit of prep. This is truly impossible to frick up and is so good any thot who consumes this will want to consume your sauce as compensation.

Ingredients:

>Couple of shallots (or half an onion if shallots unavailable)

>About 12-16oz of white or baby bella mushrooms

>Garlic

>New york strip steak

>Heavy cream

>A bottle of decent cognac (will heavily recommend Courvoisier VS or VSOP, its subtle notes really come out on this) - im using pierre ferrand 1840 formula.

>Butter

>Salt, black pepper, cumin, coriander, dill weed.

I will not measure fricking anything here, just dont be r-slurred and use your eyeballs.

Prep:

Start by pouring yourself some cognac as you cook and prep because you're not a cute twink b-word.

Next, dice the mushrooms as finely as you can, get real choppy until they are as micro as you can get them. Same thing with the shallots, though in my case its half a white onion because my grocery store didnt have shallots in stock. Take your steaks and season with salt and pepper. Get some garlic pieces minced super fine or just be a chad like me and use a garlic press instead.

Cook:

Chef up those mushrooms over butter and let it really shrink down as it loses water and absorbs all that fat. Season with black pepper and cumin, especially cumin since it pairs well with the shrooms earthy and meaty flavor.

When theyre cooked, set them aside on a plate.

Next up is the steaks, (yes, real steaks @pizzashill, not frozen salisbury steaks) throw them on butter and cook as desired. I prefer rare, you can be a b-word if you want and go medium tho. Once done, set them aside to rest as you continue batching up that sauce.

In the same pan, throw in the onions and let em sweat for a bit. Sprinkle some salt on them and once they're almost done, add garlic and let that cook for like 45s to a min on medium heat. Throw in 2oz of cognac to deglaze the pan and let the onions soak it all up (1 to 3 mins, and you absolutely want to inhale the alcohol fumes to get drunk off them).

Once reduced, heavy cream goes in the pan with butter and the mushrooms. As the sauce reduces, add in black pepper, salt to taste, coriander (for a natural spicy sweetness), cumin and dill weed (dill weed truly shines here.

Throw in a splash of corn starch mixed with water and stir it in to help thicken up the sauce. Stir occasionally and give it time to thicken up/really have the flavors blend in (just keep tasting it once its simmering). Once the sauce is tasting like liquid heaven, cut the steak into strips as thick as desired and plate.

Pour a metric ton of sauce on that shit and enjoy (seriously, dont give a frick about looks, eat the sloppy mess its amazing). You can also plate it over rice or with a side of mashed potatoes to just have the sauce enrich that.

@MrsFrozenClaus, as the resident foid go make this and confirm to the rest of the site that this is in fact so good you'd suck my peepee if I had made it for you irl.

Seeing the recent posts by @pizzashill and @Poj showcasing their disgusting subhuman culinary experiences, I figured I'd make an anti-Pizzashill and contribute to the food hole by posting my own dinner (and lunch prep) for the night: @bartendercel's Pan-Asian Curry Rice. Recipe and pics below:

Sauce:

Make a batch of sauce to toss on everything at the end. The sauce I make is as follows:

1 tbsp oyster sauce

2.5 tbsp gochujang chili paste (the o foods one is great and cheap on amazon)

1.5 tbsp mirin

1-2 tsp soy sauce

Ginger paste and crushed garlic to taste

Coconut milk to reduce heat and add flavor

1 tbsp honey to sweeten

Splash of Sesame Oil to enrich it.

Optional: smoked paprika and cayenne pepper powder, chinese five spice (minimal amount) to taste. If you want this spicier, less or no coconut milk and use water to increase volume of sauce.

Prep:

Buy some presliced mushrooms and one large white onion. Dice the onion and then dice about 1kg of boneless chicken thighs (i know bone in is more flavor but I'm too lazy to deal with that shit rn). Additionally, if you dont forget like I did, you chop and toss in some spring onions towards the end of the cooking process. Season your chicken with salt, black pepper, smoked paprika, cumin, coriander, turmeric and fennel.

Cook:

Toss rice in the rice cooker and when you've got about 7-10 mins left, heat up the wok. When heated, throw in some peanut oil and swirl to season the wok. Cook the mushrooms first and season with a bit of cumin. Once thats mostly ready, throw in some lao gan ma chili oil and the diced onion. Season that with a bit of salt and some curry powder. Next, once those are done, throw in your diced chicken and stir occasionally to cook thoroughly on all sides.

Once the chicken is done or almost done, throw in the sauce (optional splash of sesame oil again)

then toss in the rice and stir to combine.

The rice will soak up the sauce and the juices from everything that cooked on the wok, making a delicious Curry Rice combining Korean Gochujang as the base, Thai Coconut Milk, Chinese Chili Oil and Indian Spices.

Super simple, tastes good, borderline impossible to frick up. Now @pizzashill go tell your foid to make this for you and not frick it up. Best part is that once you have gochujang, oyster sauce and spices the tubs last an eternity so you really just need chicken, onion and rice to make this, costing almost nothing for multiple meals.

> be me, vacuum chamber enthusiast

> get a bunch of McD's burgers, big brain time

> vacuum seal those bad boys, air = enemy

> fast forward, craving hits

> whip out sous vide machine, it's science time

> gently thaw burgers in warm water bath

> feels like a chef, minus the hat

> perfect thaw, no microwave massacre

> burgers still juicy, flavor level 100

> saved time and cash, McD's trip avoided

> sitting back, enjoying gourmet fast food

> mfw I've hacked the fast-food system

cooking.boymoder.biz

I got lucky with sourdough and have never had a failure with this recipe for the starter https://www.bostongirlbakes.com/how-to-make-sourdough-starter-from-scratch/#h-ingredients-and-equipment-needed and this recipe for the actual bread https://heartbeetkitchen.com/rye-sourdough-bread-recipe/#recipe

I want a good go-to regular bread though, I've tried a lot and had some success but none that especially stood out, pls post if you have any

Other recipes:

This is my favourite brioche, very forgiving recipe https://old.reddit.com/r/food/comments/eenrxt/homemade_brioche_hamburger_buns/fbvn2g1/?context=8&sort=controversial

This is a great pizza dough but I found it a little salty when measuring by weight, I'd maybe split the difference between the volumetric and measured weight https://www.seriouseats.com/jim-laheys-no-knead-pizza-dough-recipe

Hello !boozers

Here's a very basic old fashioned recipe. If your reaction is "this is literally a basic old fashion" - you are correct.

During my experimentation these are the core ingredients and steps required to make a good Old Fashioned.

By following these steps to a T I believe you will end up with a better old fashion than most bars.

Ingredients

1.) Whiskey Glass - Having a basic "rocks" glass is a decent idea, it's more trendy to have "tulip" style but a "rocks" glass is the traditional choice.

2.) Ice Mold - I have found ice molds are totally worth it. The interplay of the ice and spirit is key in an Old Fashion and the molds let the ice melt at a slower, more consistent rate.

3.) Metal Toothpick - Very nice to work with vs wood or whatever. Cleans easy, cheap and looks way better.

4.) Measuring Device - I am personally using a small jigger, knowing how much your measuring device holds is essential.

5.) Peeler / Good knife skills - We'll use this to get the top of the rind of the orange.

6.) Fresh Orange - We will be using the oils in the skin.

7.) Bitters - A bottle of proper Angostura Bitters will last you forever, this is what we'll be using in this recipe.

8.) Luxardo Cherries - These SoBs are expensive but 100% worth it. You should need to use one or two per drink so they do last.

9.) Simple Syrup - Simple Syrup is literally sugar water. Very old recipes would call for sugar cubes and grinding them into the drink but this is silly. You can make this yourself buy boiling 1 part water and then adding 1 part sugar (i.e. 1 cup sugar to 1 cup boiling water). Put it in a recycled bottle and top with vodka to store for months.

10.) Spirit - I will be using Bourbon Whiskey but you can be pretty creative with this. I basically recommend any aged base spirit (Whiskey, Bourbon, Rye Whiskey, Scotch Whisky, Brandy, Aged Rum, Cognac, etc). The sweetness of your spirit is what you'll use to gauge the syrup amount.

Steps

1.) Add ice to your glass.

2.) Measure 90ml of your spirit. A usual pour is 60ml but rocks drinks are conventionally 1.5x.

3.) Add a splash of simple syrup. this ranges from 10ml-20ml, depending on your spirits sweetness. I usually do 15ml on unfamiliar bottles and then adjust from there.

4.) Add three dashes of bitters. Stir.

5.) Stab your cherry and fight with it until you make it in the glass

6.) Cut off a very thin slice of only the top of the orange rind. That's where all the orange oil is.

7.) Fold the rind just-so above your drink so, if you look closely you'll see the oil spray across the glass. I can get a solid two spritzes out of a cut. Drop it into the drink after.

8.) Enjoy!

This was a recipe I’ve worked off and on with for about a year. At this point it is consistent, easy, and always the winner of any work potluck or social soirée.

——

Ingredient List:

——

Chocolate chips 8oz

Butterscotch chips 4oz

Crushed roasted peanuts 4oz

Flour 3 cups

Butter 2 sticks

White Sugar 1 cup

Brown Sugar 1 cup

Eggs x2

Baking soda 1 teaspoon

Vanilla Extract 1-3 teaspoons

Salt 1 tablespoon (thanks, @Aisha!)

——

Instructions

——

Step 1: blend sugars and butter together. Make your life easier by leaving out two sticks of butter overnight or at least for a few hours.

Step 2: mix in eggs, salt, vanilla extract, and baking soda (i dissolve it in a teaspoon of water before adding it)

Step 3: add flour, nuts and chips, mix for only as long as there aren’t flour clumps.

Step 4: roll into 1-1.5 inch. (I’m not exact with this at all and haven’t had a consistency issue)

Step 5 (optional): refrigerate for half an hour to an hour. The benefit of refrigerating is that it allows the flour to properly absorb the butter, meaning the cookies won’t spread while baking. So if you prefer disc cookies, skip this step. If you like them fat, refrigerate

Step 6: Bake on top rack for 12/13 minutes. 12 minutes is fine if you skipped the last step.

Step 7 (optional): Remove them from the baking sheet to let them cool unless you want a crisper cookie OR if the batch came out too white.

That’s it! Enjoy.

Write a poem to a hottie and deliver this with it and they’ll be e.e cumming all over your peepee/clit.

Recipe here: https://www.delish.com/cooking/recipe-ideas/recipes/a53818/easy-crock-pot-chicken-and-dumplings-recipe

My girlfriend (male) doesn't like it even though she likes the taste of c*m and it has the same consistency. She's out of town visiting family alone since we're back together but not that back together if you know what I'm saying.

Anyway, made this for myself and the hot neighbor.

I do a few variations but here's what I did tonight and really it works for pretty much any kind of instant noodle. For this one I used the king of instant noodles, Indomie Mi Goreng.

2 packs of noodles, one spicy and one regular

dump all the add-ins into a bowl

add a splash of rice wine vinegar, a splash of soy sauce, and chili crisp, and mix it all together

when the noodles are done boiling add a splash of the cooking water, drain the noodles, and mix them in the bowl with everything else

top with an egg fried to your preference (if I'm doing instant noodles that you add water and microwave I add an egg or two in the last 1:40 to poach)

Instant noodles are already good but a little bit of extra effort goes a long way. Just a few extra ingredients make them a lot better.

Nikujaga is an unpretentious Japanese-western fusion dish- literally just standard meat and potato stew with japanese seasoning plus some meme noodles thrown in.

I had this made for me and it was so good that I tried making it a couple weeks later. The base recipe is pretty okay and it's easy for anyone to make, but here are some modifications and notes if you do try making it:

• Non-negotiable: imo the base recipe without bonito stock/katsuo dashi is a overly-sweet stew; the reason I liked it initially is because of the subtle smokiness imparted by katsuobushi (dried tuna flakes). If you do make it, add a packet of katsuo dashi and/or use a liquid stock like so in replacement of the soy sauce (if you do use liquid stock then add soy sauce to taste if the stew isn't strong enough and cut back on the sugar- I learned my lesson with the sugar). The liquid stock is actually really good for making things taste like authentic sugoi nipponesu food. I added both the liquid stock and a packet of dashi to mine (I think the person who made it for me did the same), but if you use the liquid stock, you can decide whether or not to add a dashi packet far into the cooking process based on whether you want the stew to taste more bonito-y.

• Next time I'll add smaller amounts of sugar gradually instead of stirring a tbsp+ into the sake/mirin/soy sauce mixture, or omit the sugar entirely. The base recipe is very sweet for western tastes and doubly so if you're using a liquid stock.

• Try to get shirataki noodles/konnyaku noodles in little knots/bundles like so. The western italianx pasta-replacement ones will probably ruin the texture and you may as well omit them entirely.

• This recipe was made with thin-sliced pork belly in mind; if you're using thick (i.e. superior) slices then you should cut them into chunks and braise them in the stipulated amount of water (with a dashi packet if using) for about an hour to make it tender, then add everything else (sauté the vegetables as instructed in the recipe on a separate pan and throw them in with the rest of the ingredients) and simmer until the potatoes are cooked to your liking. If you do it this way, you may need to top off the water at some point since more cook time = more evaporation.

• Letting the potato overcook a bit and thicken the broth really furthers the comfort food sensation imo. I used some less floury spare potatoes in my attempt and it's not as good.

• A small pot apparently works fine for the proportions in the base recipe. I only used a large pot because I doubled the servings.

• I haven't tried it yet, but apparently it's standard to add a curry brick to the leftovers.

edit: The original recipe is:

Ingredients

1. 12 oz (2 packages) shirataki noodles or fresh ramen noobles

2. 1/3 cup soy sauce

3. 1/3 cup mirin

4. 1/3 cup sake

5. 1 tbsp + 1 tsp sugar

6. 2 tsp vegetable oil

7. 8 oz thinly sliced pork belly

8. 1 medium onion, sliced thin

9. 2 large yukon gold potatoes, peeled and cut into bite-sized pieces

10. 2 medium carrots, sliced into 1/2 in pieces

Steps

1. if using shirataki noodles rinse them in a colander, bring some water to a boil, then pour over the noobles to get rid of the weird smell

2. combine the soy sauce, mirin, sake, and sugar in a bowl along with 2.5 cups water; whisk to dissolve the sugar

3. heat a large pot over medium-high heat, then add vegetable oil. add pork belly and cook until the fat has rendered (don't wait for the fat to render if you're using thick-cut i.e. superior slices, just brown them), about 4 mins

4. add onion and cook until they soften, about 4 mins, then add carrot and potato and cook for another 3 mins.

5. pour the mixture in the bowl into the pot, add the shirataki noodles if using, turn the heat to medium-low, and simmer for about 20 mins or until the potatoes are cooked through

6. if using fresh ramen instead, add them to the pot about 3 mins before serving

7. serve

Sorry, the lighting in my kitchen is still ugly.

Anyway, since it's holiday season, here's a basic and extremely flexible recipe for stock you can make with leftover poultry carcasses and maybe poultry meat. Instead of making it immediately after roasting the bird, you can do it once you know how much leftover meat you're going to finish from your roast(s) so you can throw meat scraps in too. I've also included added alt instructions for making stock with cheap fresh chicken meat if you don't have carcasses.

It's incredibly easy to make stock so this more serves as a reminder that you can and should. Once you make it you should reserve it for soups or stews that really benefit from homemade stock, like caldo verde or ribollita or whatever.

Ingredients

• One large turkey carcass or 1-2 smaller poultry carcasses + as much leftover meat as you have (for this stock, I used a small turkey + duck carcass plus some leftover turkey. Turkey makes a particularly good stock)

• Alternative fresh meat stock: 1-2lb chicken feet, scrubbed and nails cut off + a family pack of wings and/or drumsticks. You can forgo the feet if you're a pussey. If you only have the carcass of one chicken or duck and no leftover meat, you can use fresh wings/drumsticks in addition to that.

• 4 little, 2 medium, or 1 huge non-red onions

• 1 big carrot or 2 little carrots

• 1 little bulb of garlic or 1/2 large bulb of garlic

• 1-2 celery stalks

• fresh herbs -- parsley is a must, but you can add whatever else you need; if you know what you're going to use the stock for then check the ingredients for it and include you think might taste good (I added thyme and sage in addition to parsley this time)

• 1 large bay leaf

• a swig of acid (i used 2 leftover lemon wedges this time; apple cider vinegar or white vinegar are fine)

• a slice or two of fresh ginger

• a few peppercorns (optional)

• 1-2 dried shiitake mushrooms (can also sub with a smaller amount of dried bolete/porcini) (optional)

• water

Instructions

• chop the onions into halves or quarters; do the same to the carrots and celery and throw into pot

• if you're using a whole bulb of garlic, halve the whole bulb and throw it all into pot; if not, peel the garlic cloves, crush or halve, and throw into pot (if you see black mold on the garlic skins then use the latter instructions even if you're adding a whole bulb)

• dump your bones and scraps into the pot, along with all of the remaining dry ingredients

• add water until it covers the bones with a swig of the acid you're using

• simmer covered for ~6 hrs, stirring every so often. Adjust dry ingredients and acid to taste if the stock tastes too mild every few hours. after a while, the meat should be falling apart and the smaller bones should get weak; I like to break the bones for extra flavor when possible.

• you can uncover and boil down the liquid if you don't think it'll fit into a container you have; just stir more frequently to make sure that nothing's sitting unboiled on the surface for too long

• after a few hours, the stock should get sticky from collagen. if it's not then you either don't have enough meat or have too much water. In this case, uncover and boil it down (though you will end up with less stock)

• once you've reached the 6 hr mark, turn off the heat, let cool, then pour it into a container through a colander

• you need to chill it so the fat rises and solidifies. skim the fat off the top when you're ready to use it. a proper homemade stock will have a consistency ranging from half-cooled jello to a rigid gelatin mold. if it's the latter then you can usually add some water when you're using the stock and it'll still taste pretty strong; if it's the former then you're more likely to have to add more stock or a bullion cube when you're using it.

If you adulterate it with water or stock, it should be good for 2 different soup/stew recipes. It should also keep for a while, though the last stock I made with carcasses from the freezer spoiled quickly.