I'm celebrating Texas finally starting to get hot this year by cooking up a big pot of heretical chili.

This chili is considered blasphemous due to the beans - despite this, I have tricked enough Texan coworkers to abandon their morals and win one of those goofy office chili cookoffs with this recipe before I became a pale WFH shut-in.

This makes a ton of chili, and a ton of delicious leftovers. I'll usually put some aside in flattened ziploc bags to freeze for later.

You will need:

5 qt Dutch Oven

Food processor

You could also theoretically throw this all into an instant pot for an hour and get similar results, but I enjoy slowly letting my house smell delicious.

VEGETABLES

• 1 diced onion

• 2-3 chopped celery stalks

• 1 diced bell pepper

• 3-4 cloves minced garlic

MEATS

• 1 lb ground beef

• 1 lb italian sausage (not in casing)

• 6 oz bacon, chopped into bits (about half of a pack)

MISC

• 2 14.5 oz cans "chili beans" (can use kidney instead if desired)

• 2 15.5 oz. cans diced tomatoes

• 6 oz tomato paste

• 1 can "chipotles en adobo/chipotles adobado"

• 2 beef bouillon cubes

• 1/4 cup beer - I usually use guiness or blue moon, but any non-crazy beer should work.

• 1 1/2 tsp worchestershire sauce

SPICES

• 2 tbsp chili powder

• 1 1/2 tsp oregano

• 1 tsp cumin

• 1/2 tsp basil

• 1/2 tsp salt

• 1/2 tsp pepper

• 1/2 tsp cayenne powder

• 1/2 tsp paprika

• 1/2 tsp sugar

1. Throw everything listed under spices together in a small container and set aside.

2. Throw the chopped bacon, beef, and italian sausage into the pot and allow to cook until the ground meat is browned. Once this is completed, drain the meat and set aside. Keep small amount of fat in the pot.

3. Add onion to pot - stir often and at a higher temperature to allow it to brown. Once the onion has started to brown, turn the heat back down a little and throw in celery, bell pepper, and garlic.

4. Open can of chiles en adobo - take out 1 pepper and scrape out as much of the adobo sauce as you can into a food processor. You can use more peppers if you'd like, but I'd recommend starting with one. Mix the 1 pepper & sauce together until the pepper is fully blended into the sauce.

5. Add the cooked meat to the pot of vegetables.

6. Add the pureed chile sauce and beer.

7. Add the spice mix you set aside in the first step.

8. Add beans, tomato paste, diced tomatoes, and worchestershire.

9. Add bouillon cubes. These will dissolve as the chili cooks. Stir everything together until well mixed.

10. Turn heat down to low, cover pot, and allow to cook for about 4 hours. Stir occasionally to make sure nothing gets stuck to the bottom.

It will taste insanely good the next day after cooling -> reheating.

During grilling season, I'll add a grilled chopped serrano with the vegetables.

This one is my personal fav fish dish

Incidentally in place of Bhetki(though you should be able to find it if there's any Bangladeshi fish stores in your neighbourhood ) any generally bland tasting fish should work. I don't think oily or sea fish would taste particularly good with this method but I've never tried it. For some reason this is the only fish traditionally cooked in this style.

!MasterChef rate my coloring, texture etc

!thin I'm going to bulk up finally

Nikujaga is an unpretentious Japanese-western fusion dish- literally just standard meat and potato stew with japanese seasoning plus some meme noodles thrown in.

I had this made for me and it was so good that I tried making it a couple weeks later. The base recipe is pretty okay and it's easy for anyone to make, but here are some modifications and notes if you do try making it:

• Non-negotiable: imo the base recipe without bonito stock/katsuo dashi is a overly-sweet stew; the reason I liked it initially is because of the subtle smokiness imparted by katsuobushi (dried tuna flakes). If you do make it, add a packet of katsuo dashi and/or use a liquid stock like so in replacement of the soy sauce (if you do use liquid stock then add soy sauce to taste if the stew isn't strong enough and cut back on the sugar- I learned my lesson with the sugar). The liquid stock is actually really good for making things taste like authentic sugoi nipponesu food. I added both the liquid stock and a packet of dashi to mine (I think the person who made it for me did the same), but if you use the liquid stock, you can decide whether or not to add a dashi packet far into the cooking process based on whether you want the stew to taste more bonito-y.

• Next time I'll add smaller amounts of sugar gradually instead of stirring a tbsp+ into the sake/mirin/soy sauce mixture, or omit the sugar entirely. The base recipe is very sweet for western tastes and doubly so if you're using a liquid stock.

• Try to get shirataki noodles/konnyaku noodles in little knots/bundles like so. The western italianx pasta-replacement ones will probably ruin the texture and you may as well omit them entirely.

• This recipe was made with thin-sliced pork belly in mind; if you're using thick (i.e. superior) slices then you should cut them into chunks and braise them in the stipulated amount of water (with a dashi packet if using) for about an hour to make it tender, then add everything else (sauté the vegetables as instructed in the recipe on a separate pan and throw them in with the rest of the ingredients) and simmer until the potatoes are cooked to your liking. If you do it this way, you may need to top off the water at some point since more cook time = more evaporation.

• Letting the potato overcook a bit and thicken the broth really furthers the comfort food sensation imo. I used some less floury spare potatoes in my attempt and it's not as good.

• A small pot apparently works fine for the proportions in the base recipe. I only used a large pot because I doubled the servings.

• I haven't tried it yet, but apparently it's standard to add a curry brick to the leftovers.

edit: The original recipe is:

Ingredients

1. 12 oz (2 packages) shirataki noodles or fresh ramen noobles

2. 1/3 cup soy sauce

3. 1/3 cup mirin

4. 1/3 cup sake

5. 1 tbsp + 1 tsp sugar

6. 2 tsp vegetable oil

7. 8 oz thinly sliced pork belly

8. 1 medium onion, sliced thin

9. 2 large yukon gold potatoes, peeled and cut into bite-sized pieces

10. 2 medium carrots, sliced into 1/2 in pieces

Steps

1. if using shirataki noodles rinse them in a colander, bring some water to a boil, then pour over the noobles to get rid of the weird smell

2. combine the soy sauce, mirin, sake, and sugar in a bowl along with 2.5 cups water; whisk to dissolve the sugar

3. heat a large pot over medium-high heat, then add vegetable oil. add pork belly and cook until the fat has rendered (don't wait for the fat to render if you're using thick-cut i.e. superior slices, just brown them), about 4 mins

4. add onion and cook until they soften, about 4 mins, then add carrot and potato and cook for another 3 mins.

5. pour the mixture in the bowl into the pot, add the shirataki noodles if using, turn the heat to medium-low, and simmer for about 20 mins or until the potatoes are cooked through

6. if using fresh ramen instead, add them to the pot about 3 mins before serving

7. serve

Seeing the recent posts by @pizzashill and @Poj showcasing their disgusting subhuman culinary experiences, I figured I'd make an anti-Pizzashill and contribute to the food hole by posting my own dinner (and lunch prep) for the night: @bartendercel's Pan-Asian Curry Rice. Recipe and pics below:

Sauce:

Make a batch of sauce to toss on everything at the end. The sauce I make is as follows:

1 tbsp oyster sauce

2.5 tbsp gochujang chili paste (the o foods one is great and cheap on amazon)

1.5 tbsp mirin

1-2 tsp soy sauce

Ginger paste and crushed garlic to taste

Coconut milk to reduce heat and add flavor

1 tbsp honey to sweeten

Splash of Sesame Oil to enrich it.

Optional: smoked paprika and cayenne pepper powder, chinese five spice (minimal amount) to taste. If you want this spicier, less or no coconut milk and use water to increase volume of sauce.

Prep:

Buy some presliced mushrooms and one large white onion. Dice the onion and then dice about 1kg of boneless chicken thighs (i know bone in is more flavor but I'm too lazy to deal with that shit rn). Additionally, if you dont forget like I did, you chop and toss in some spring onions towards the end of the cooking process. Season your chicken with salt, black pepper, smoked paprika, cumin, coriander, turmeric and fennel.

Cook:

Toss rice in the rice cooker and when you've got about 7-10 mins left, heat up the wok. When heated, throw in some peanut oil and swirl to season the wok. Cook the mushrooms first and season with a bit of cumin. Once thats mostly ready, throw in some lao gan ma chili oil and the diced onion. Season that with a bit of salt and some curry powder. Next, once those are done, throw in your diced chicken and stir occasionally to cook thoroughly on all sides.

Once the chicken is done or almost done, throw in the sauce (optional splash of sesame oil again)

then toss in the rice and stir to combine.

The rice will soak up the sauce and the juices from everything that cooked on the wok, making a delicious Curry Rice combining Korean Gochujang as the base, Thai Coconut Milk, Chinese Chili Oil and Indian Spices.

Super simple, tastes good, borderline impossible to frick up. Now @pizzashill go tell your foid to make this for you and not frick it up. Best part is that once you have gochujang, oyster sauce and spices the tubs last an eternity so you really just need chicken, onion and rice to make this, costing almost nothing for multiple meals.

Bet you can't tell where my favorite place to shop is. It's a delightful chicken pad thai with onions, garlic and scallions with a traditional pad thai sauce and with a little bit of peanut sauce added in. And when you have pad thai you just have to have some crushed peanuts and bean sprouts. I was lazy and didnt feel like making the sauce from scratch tho so it could be better. What did you eat for dinner rdrama? Post it below! Hello to all my new followers btw I swear I will have a major effortpost out soon!

This was a recipe I’ve worked off and on with for about a year. At this point it is consistent, easy, and always the winner of any work potluck or social soirée.

——

Ingredient List:

——

Chocolate chips 8oz

Butterscotch chips 4oz

Crushed roasted peanuts 4oz

Flour 3 cups

Butter 2 sticks

White Sugar 1 cup

Brown Sugar 1 cup

Eggs x2

Baking soda 1 teaspoon

Vanilla Extract 1-3 teaspoons

Salt 1 tablespoon (thanks, @Aisha!)

——

Instructions

——

Step 1: blend sugars and butter together. Make your life easier by leaving out two sticks of butter overnight or at least for a few hours.

Step 2: mix in eggs, salt, vanilla extract, and baking soda (i dissolve it in a teaspoon of water before adding it)

Step 3: add flour, nuts and chips, mix for only as long as there aren’t flour clumps.

Step 4: roll into 1-1.5 inch. (I’m not exact with this at all and haven’t had a consistency issue)

Step 5 (optional): refrigerate for half an hour to an hour. The benefit of refrigerating is that it allows the flour to properly absorb the butter, meaning the cookies won’t spread while baking. So if you prefer disc cookies, skip this step. If you like them fat, refrigerate

Step 6: Bake on top rack for 12/13 minutes. 12 minutes is fine if you skipped the last step.

Step 7 (optional): Remove them from the baking sheet to let them cool unless you want a crisper cookie OR if the batch came out too white.

That’s it! Enjoy.

Write a poem to a hottie and deliver this with it and they’ll be e.e cumming all over your peepee/clit.

Title

https://www.reuters.com/business/healthcare-pharmaceuticals/us-requires-bird-flu-tests-any-cattle-moving-interstate-commerce-2024-04-24/

!goyslopenjoyers I saw this one at the gas station when I saw the dr. pebbah flavored one but I didn't buy it until recently

out of desire for completeness, even after being burned by the soda stick, I returned to mr jack link's loving arms to be fed more meat

conclusion? this onen was pretty much normal. frito chili cheese blends well with the concept of meat stick

in fact I ate it last week but I took a break from marsey due to a deat h in the family

and I don't remember anything about it.

I was also eating ground beef with cheese in it that night (homemade slop)

it all blended together

far and above the dr pepper meat which still sits on my desk to this day, opened, bereft one tiny bite, ever enduring. I'll see how long the preservatives last.

if it isn't useful as food it can be of use to science

today i went out to a taco restaurant and ordered the strangest item i've seen on their menu

chicken tendies breaded in hot cheeto dust, hot cheeto aioli, macaroni and cheese, and fruity pebbles

rated 6/10

the macaroni would've been much better and slop-pilled if kraft rather than their queso fresco. the fruity pebbles were good.

ended up not eating the other taco because this was a behemoth

!goyslopenjoyers

Fried Spam (Great Value luncheon meat) with egg on rice w/corn, feat. sriracha & mayo, drizzled w/soy sauce and wrapped in nori

I have a confession to make. I watch cooking youtubers. I'm sorry, I understand if you block me after having admitted that. I made the thing from this video:

I like Sam the Cooking Guy. He's funny. He posts almost every day because he's a sperg (also because I believe he's the #1 cooking youtube guy right now). You have to take his reactions with a grain of salt. He will make a salisbury steak or something and act like he's jizzing in his pants on camera because it's so good. It probably isn't really that good. This recipe is pretty good, though.

I did everything as described in his recipe link, except for two things. I followed the directions for my rice cooker instead of whatever he said, and I omitted his sauce, because it seemed unnecessary. There were already green onions, garlic, and ginger in the rice. I didn't see a good reason to put a sauce made out of mostly just those same 3 ingredients on top. I just squirted this (awesome) crap all over it instead:

This was a good recipe. It was extremely low effort, and it was very good. I barely spent any time in the kitchen at all. Highly recommended.

PS: sorry about the weird blur, I guess Samsung was feeling artsy today.

The review is a bit weird for modern standards, it never tells the readers if pizza is tasty.